Authors: Robert Kroese
"What the hell?" exclaimed Katie Midford, also known as Tiamat, the Whore of Babylon.
"Not Hell," said Christine. "Heaven."
The cottage shook from the blast. They had to shield their eyes from the blinding light pouring in through the windows.
"This must be what it's like to be inside a Thomas Kinkade painting," said Christine.
"What's going on?" said Karl, terrified.
"That, if I'm not mistaken," said Christine, "was a Class Five pillar of fire. Someone in Heaven has evidently taken an interest in our host's little hideaway."
"We need to get out of here," said Gamaliel. "If Heaven knows about this place, we don't stand a chance here."
"They have no right!" hissed Tiamat. "They don't know what they are doing! If I fail, Lucifer's plan will proceed! He'll make this whole plane into a wasteland!"
Christine, having a sudden notion, said, "Why don't you turn yourselves in? If you spill the beans on what Lucifer is planning, I'm sure they'll go easy on you."
"Silence!" snapped Tiamat. "We're not finished yet. Let's get out of here."
Gamaliel led them to the Ford Explorer parked behind the cottage. Two other cherubim, who had been standing guard outside, ushered the captives to the vehicle.
"I call shotgun!" yelled Karl, and one of the guards smacked him in the back of the head with the butt of his rifle. Karl fell forward, dazed. He and Christine were shoved into the middle seat.
"Careful!" warned Gamaliel. "We need him alive." He had to admit that unconscious was, however, an improvement.
The Explorer peeled out of the dirt driveway and headed down the bumpy track that served as a road. Behind them, the towering redwoods were engulfed in flame.
"Heads up," said Gamaliel. "We're leaving the Mundanity Enhancement Field. Ah, hell, now what?"
A tall, lean figure was standing in the middle of the makeshift road. He was holding an assault rifle.
"Mercury!" growled Gamaliel, gunning the engine.
"Wait!" yelled Tiamat as the Explorer bounced crazily along the bumpy ground. "He's going to—"
Mercury steadied his aim at the vehicle, trying to follow its erratic movements. The gun was set to manual fire because he couldn't risk a stray bullet hitting Karl or Christine. He had only one chance. He couldn't rely on being able to manipulate interplanar energy to take out the Explorer, standing so close to the Mundanity Enhancement Field. He hoped he had better aim with an M4 assault rifle than he did with a ping-pong paddle. Or snowball. He was not, now that he thought about it, terribly good with projectiles in general.
When the vehicle was only a few yards away, he fired.
The Explorer's left front tire exploded just as it landed in a particularly deep recess in the track. The vehicle veered to the left, its right tires leaving the ground. Mercury, still immobile, was showered with dirt as the tires whizzed past, inches from his face. With the interference the MEF was causing, he needed all of his concentration to harness the small amount of interplanar energy that was available.
The Explorer veered off the track and rolled into the ravine below. The vehicle turned over and over, countless times, shedding pieces of itself as it went, finally coming to an abrupt stop against a large redwood.
Mercury clambered down the ravine, his attention still on the two mortals ensconced in the wreckage. He could only hope that he had been able to channel enough supernatural energy to keep them from being killed. Jumping atop the overturned vehicle, he ripped the passenger door off its hinges. Inside he found four dazed demons and two miraculously unscathed mortals.
He helped Christine and Karl out of the Explorer. "Get to the road," he said. "I'll take care of these guys."
While Christine and Karl made their way up the ravine, Mercury stood a few yards from the downed Explorer, waiting for the demons to emerge. Slowly they began to pull themselves out of the wreckage. As they did, Mercury fired at them repeatedly with the assault rifle.
Still too dazed and too close to the Mundanity Enhancement Field to force the bullets to miraculously miss them, the demons took round after round in the chest, howling in pain and staggering backwards. Eventually, though, Mercury ran out of bullets, and still the demons came at him. He pulled a Bowie knife that he had pilfered from the same unlucky guard who had provided the rifle.
"Seize the Antichrist!" barked Tiamat to her minions. "I'll deal with this one."
Gamaliel and the other two demons set off after Karl and Christine, who had just reached the track at the top of the ravine. It was getting dark, and smoke from the growing blaze on the other side of the cottage was making it difficult for them to breathe.
Tiamat turned to Mercury.
"You're causing me a fair amount of trouble," she said, trying to retain a semblance of calm.
"Nothing personal," said Mercury, still holding the knife pointed at Tiamat. "I have a contract to deliver the Antichrist to Lucifer."
"You? Working for Lucifer?" said Tiamat. "I didn't think you had it in you."
"I'm more of a free agent," explained Mercury.
"That sounds more like it," she said. "Always looking out for yourself."
Mercury shrugged. "So," he said, "how have you been? Still building ziggurats?"
Tiamat shook her head dismissively. "I had some problems with outsourcing. Language barriers, you know. These days I'm dabbling in adolescent fiction."
"So I hear," said Mercury. "I've read some of your work. Not bad. I didn't realize you were a writer."
"It's not Shakespeare," admitted Tiamat. "But it pays the bills. Anyway, I can't let you have Karl."
"Well," said Mercury, "I can't let you keep him. So there you go."
The crackle of the forest fire was getting louder. A breeze was picking up, pushing the blaze their way.
"I don't think you have much of a choice," she said, motioning toward Christine and Karl, who were being escorted back down the ravine by Gamaliel and her other two minions. "You're outnumbered and outgunned."
"Won't be the first time," said Mercury.
Tiamat smiled. "Whatever happened between us?" she asked him.
Mercury looked pensively at her. "Well," he said, "there was the status difference. Cherub-seraph romances rarely work."
"True," she said. "That was a problem."
"Also," Mercury went on, "there was that whole 'Whore of Babylon' thing. If I had to pinpoint a moment when our relationship went sour, I think I'd have to go with the first time I heard you referred to as 'the Whore of Babylon.' I mean, that makes an impression on a guy, you know? There were a
lot
of whores in Babylon."
"Oh come on, Mercury. You're not still angry about
that
. It was the ninth century BC. It was a different time."
"Yeah, I get that," said Mercury. "But
the
Whore of Babylon? That's impressive. That's like being
the
hippie at Woodstock. Or
the
drunk at Caligula's place."
Karl and Christine stumbled toward them, prodded by the butts of the demons' rifles.
"Watch it," Karl snapped. He was clearly getting tired of being pushed, pulled, and prodded around.
"Can't we put the past behind us?" said Tiamat. "As you say, this isn't personal. I have some business with Karl here. I don't know how you're involved in all this exactly, but I can assure you that Karl is worth more to me than he is to you. If you're afraid of retribution from Lucifer, join my crew. I'll protect you. And you'll be in good company. I expect a lot of defections from Lucifer over the next few days."
"Yeah," said Mercury. "I know all about your plan. You're blackmailing Lucifer. He needs everyone to think that the Antichrist was killed by agents of Heaven so that he can withdraw from the Apocalypse Accord and launch a sneak attack. So you threaten to go public with the fact that Karl is still alive if he doesn't release you from this plane and give you authority over the invasion."
"Nice deduction," said Tiamat, nodding with approval.
Mercury said, "It was actually Christine here who figured most of it out."
Tiamat cocked her head at Christine, who remained in defiant silence. "A mortal? Deciphering the plans of demons? You always were a joker, Mercury."
"Not this time," said Mercury. "This time I'm dead serious. I can't let you take Karl alive." He tightened his grip on the Bowie knife.
Tiamat laughed. "What are you going to do, kill him?"
In a flash, Mercury moved behind Karl, putting the blade of the knife to his neck.
"What the hell?" gasped Karl.
Christine's face contorted in horror. "Mercury, what are you—"
"No choice, Christine," said Mercury. "I have to kill him. He's no use to Tiamat dead."
"Mercury," said Tiamat angrily, "drop this charade. You don't actually expect me to believe you're going to kill Karl."
Karl was terrified. "Don't kill Karl!" was all he could think to say.
"Believe it, babe," Mercury said. "I can't let you take him alive."
Tiamat's minions were creeping toward him, their guns at the ready. Gamaliel remained still, waiting for Mercury to make a move.
"Easy, boys," said Tiamat. "Mercury, let's think about this rationally. If you kill Karl, then Lucifer can go ahead with his plan. He's going to wipe out this entire plane. Is that what you want?"
"Lucifer's plan is doomed to fail," said Mercury. "Uzziel has already been informed of his intentions."
"Uzziel!" laughed Tiamat. "What's Uzziel going to do, send an army of bureaucrats armed with staplers? It would take weeks for Uzziel to get authorization for any kind of military deployment. By then, this plane will be finished. Uzziel is powerless to stop the invasion."
"He doesn't need to
stop
it," said Mercury. "All he has to do is redirect it. I won't bore you with the details, but thanks to a little interplanar jujitsu, the threat from Lucifer has been negated. In fact, the biggest danger right now is that Lucifer will figure out that he's been had and call off his surprise attack. If he does that, his forces will remain intact, and he may still be able to wreak a fair amount of havoc on this plane before Michael can put a stop to it. But if I can deliver Karl—dead or alive—then Lucifer will go forward with his plan, and Uzziel will take care of the rest.
"So you see," Mercury went on, "I can't risk you throwing a wrench into Lucifer's plan. And frankly, you've always been a bigger threat to this plane than Lucifer and his petty schemes. You're the one Heaven should be worried about. If you manage to return to power. . .well, I can't let that happen. Which is why I have to kill Karl."
"You can't be serious," Christine pleaded. "If you do this, you're just like them. Playing one side against the other, doing something you know is wrong in the interest of some greater plan you don't even fully understand."
"I understand enough," said Mercury grimly. "There's no other way to stop her. And to stop Lucifer. I have to kill him."
"No!" howled Karl. "I'm sorry I ate all the fries!"
"It's going to be OK, Karl," cooed Mercury.
"Please," said Tiamat. "I know you, Mercury. You don't have it in you."
"Karl, you have to trust me," said Mercury quietly. "Sometimes one of the good guys has to die for the greater good. You understand?"
Karl shook his head as vigorously as he could, given the proximity of the Bowie knife.
Christine urged, "Mercury, don't. Please don't."
"It's like book three," said Mercury. "Where the Urlock queen forces Charlie Nyx to kill his friend Simon with the Sword of the Seven Truths."
Karl looked confused for a moment. "But Charlie used his—"
"That's right, Karl," said Mercury. "Charlie used his sword to kill Simon. You understand? Because the evil queen forced him to."
A look of understanding began to penetrate Karl's face. "So I have to—"
"Yes, Karl. You have to die. Just like in the book. Just like in your favorite book."
"Actually I thought book two was more—"
Mercury clutched Karl's collar and spun him around so they were face-to-face.
"I'm sorry, Karl. I have no choice."
"I thought you were my friend!" wailed Karl.
"I am your friend, Karl. I will always be your friend."
"And I. . .yours," said Karl.
Mercury plunged the knife into Karl's heart. Karl screamed, a terrified, bloodcurdling, wake-the-dead sort of scream.
Mercury stabbed him again and again until Karl crumpled into a ball on the ground. Blood was everywhere.
Mercury sank limply to the ground. The blood-covered knife fell to the ground. He cradled Karl's head in his hands. "It's OK, Karl," he said gently. "You can sleep now."
Karl's body went limp.
Christine regarded this horrific scene in disbelief. Quite literally—she did not believe what she had just seen. The blood certainly looked real, and she had a hard time imagining that Mercury had been carrying a trick Bowie knife up his sleeve. But she also didn't believe Mercury had killed Karl. Partly because she didn't think he had it in him, but mostly because Karl had used the phrase "And I. . .yours." Something was
off
.
The demonic minions certainly looked convinced, but Tiamat was skeptical. "Is this one of your tricks, Mercury?"
"Does it
look
like a trick?" he demanded, still cradling Karl in his arms. Vast quantities of what looked very much like real blood continued to pour onto the ground beneath Karl. Christine still didn't believe it, but she had to admit that Mercury was a better actor than she would have expected. He looked like he was in real anguish, and his face was as white as chalk.
"No fluctuations in the energy channels," said Gamaliel. "He's not using miracles."
"A trick knife then," said Tiamat, sounding almost desperate to believe that Mercury hadn't had it in him to kill Karl.
"It's a real knife," said Christine, bending over to pick it up.
"Take it easy," warned a minion, gripping his rifle.