Mercy of St Jude (32 page)

Out of nowhere, light flooded the room. They lurched to their feet, blinking madly and grasping each other's arms. Mercedes stood in the doorway. She looked stunned, horrified even. Her mouth moved. Nothing came out. Clamping her lips together, she looked from one to the other of them, then grabbed her coat from the bed and rushed past them out the door. Not one word passed her lips.

In the harsh light, the upheaval within the cramped room jumped out at Annie. The musty pong of winter wetness hung in the air. Coats and scarves were strewn over the bed and floor.

She and Gerry had probably pushed them aside in their haste to go at each other.

“Annie?” Gerry's hand squeezed hers. “You all right?”

She bent to pick the coats up off the floor. “Yeah…yeah, I'm fine.”

“That was weird.” He took the coats from her. “Not like her at all, was it?”

Annie shook her head. “I suppose we better get back downstairs.” The mood broken, they rejoined the party. Annie went in one direction, Gerry in another. Mercedes was nowhere to be seen.

Annie was sitting on the sofa talking with her grandfather when she saw her mother come in and motion to Gerry that he had a phone call. Gerry followed Lucinda out but returned within a minute and came over to Annie.

“That was my mother. I need to get going.” His eyes widened. “She said I have to stop at your aunt's, too.”

“Oh?” Annie's skin prickled. “What does she want?” And why would the message come from Sadie? Had Mercedes told her about the scene in the bedroom?

“She didn't say, just that I had to go there and then straight home.”

Annie noticed her grandfather staring at them. “Glad you could drop in and have a beer with us,” she said in an offhand voice. “See you later.”

“Right. Good night. Merry Christmas, Mr. Hann.”

“And a Happy New Year to you, Gerry,” Callum answered.

Gerry got his coat and went to the door. There was no chance to talk to him about what had happened in the bedroom, a fact for which Annie was grateful at first. With a smile plastered to her face, she waved goodbye.

But something was wrong. She knew it in her heart, that sudden lead weight inside her chest. As he put on his coat and gloves, making small talk with her father at the door, she waited for him to look her way. She needed to see his eyes again, to lock into one private glance and know that all was well. But just as Gerry moved to look in her direction, Aiden stepped in front of him. Her father opened the door. He left.

As a winter wind swung the door shut behind him, it was all Annie could do to stop herself from chasing after him. If they could have that single second, one tiny kiss or whispered caress, then maybe the knot in her stomach would ease and the peculiar fear that had come to possess her would disappear. One moment, that was all she needed.

Sadie waited. She looked out the window, down the wet, slush-covered street, and she waited. She took another swallow of vodka from the small flask in her apron, and she waited.

What's he doing at that Boxing Day party anyway? Our crowd don't get invited to them shindigs. And what got Mercedes in such a panic? Never heard that schoolmarm voice so shook up. Not like her to lose her cool. Something's up with her lately. Not been to Mass in ages, not even Christmas Day.

New priest is cranky and all, but that'd never stop Mercedes Hann, biggest Catholic alive, that one. Why's she missing Mass?

And why the hell is Gerard taking so frigging long to get here?

She looked at her watch. A full hour had passed since she'd spoken to him on the phone. If he'd gone straight to Mercedes' house, he should have been home by now.

That's him! At the corner. About goddamn time, too.

Sadie watched as he came closer. His head was down, his hands deep in his pockets. Taking a final sip from the flask, she shoved it beneath the chair cushion. She slipped a mint into her mouth just as he opened the door.

“What did she want?” Sadie asked immediately.

He was staring at her oddly, as if he wasn't really seeing her, as if his mind was somewhere else.

“What did Mercedes want?” she demanded.

He took off his coat and dropped it on a chair. His hand rose to press against his forehead, then moved to massage his eyes and the bridge of his nose.

“Gerard? Is something wrong?”

“I don't… no, nothing.” He looked towards the door, his expression confused.

Sadie felt her blood rise. “What did that woman do to you?”

He hesitated.

“What did she say? Out with it!”

“Just that…that it's wrong…and it's… against God and the church…”

Against God? Frigging Mercedes Hann! Thinks she's God herself.

“…and that it's immoral.” His voice rose on the last word, as if he no longer knew its meaning.

Sadie stared, dumbfounded. For the life of her she could not imagine what he could have done that was so wrong. But there was something in his tone and in the way he wouldn't meet her eye that was starting to worry her. “What is?”

He stared at the floor.

She went over to him and grabbed his arms. “Gerard! Answer me!”

“Ma, please—”

She slapped one hand on either side of his face and made him look at her. “What the Christ is going on? Do you hear me? The truth! What's she talking about?”

He closed his eyes. “Being with my cousin,” he whispered.

“Being with…?” Sadie paused, confused.

What do he mean? What cousin?

She shoved him down into a chair. “Tell me!” she screeched.

And he did, slowly stammering out how Mercedes had caught him and Annie.

Sadie's heart stood still. Smack dead in the middle of her chest. Not for long, just a few seconds, but she had no doubt that it actually stopped beating as the unwelcome image filled her head. She couldn't speak. Could not think past the image and the words, the words and the image, playing over and over in her stupefied mind.

“She said there were things we didn't know, secrets, that we're more related—”

His mouth closed abruptly. He seemed to think for a second before continuing in a fast yet shaky voice. “She said we were too related, that we couldn't be together, that Annie…that she'd be ruined forever.”

Sadie found her voice. “You and Annie Byrne?” she growled.

“Yes. Listen, Ma—”

“You been sleeping with Lucinda's daughter?”

Gerry nodded. His shoulders started to shake. Then he started to cry, bawling his eyes out right in front of her.

“Gerard! Stop that nonsense! Now what the fuck are you talking about?”

He told her all about it then, how they'd been going out for almost a year, how they wanted to go away together. And then, tears streaming down his face, he confessed that he was in love with Annie Byrne.

Oh Jesus. Oh God. Mother Mary help me.

Sadie's knees were weak. She could barely stand up. She clutched the chair with both hands. When Gerry reached out to her, however, all she could see was Annie Byrne's face. She smacked his hand away.

Sadie went to the holy water font and dipped her fingers in.

She took a deep breath and blessed herself. Then she got her flask and took a large swig.

“But I don't care,” he cried. “What does it matter as long as we love each other?”

Sadie almost choked. “What does it matter! You want a bunch of retards for youngsters? Mother of Jesus, Gerard, how thick are you?”

“But Ma—”

“Don't ‘but Ma' me, you stupid fool. I could smack the daylights out of you, getting involved with the likes of that…that no good…” Sadie wanted to scream, to open her mouth and scream her lungs out. She needed to strike out, to hit something, someone. She punched her fist into her palm.

Annie Byrne! Fornicating with Lucinda's daughter. God help me.

“You're no better than the goddamn Griffins!” she railed.

“After all I done for you, the sacrifices, the lies, everything to make sure you were better than them, and now look at you, just look at you! It's sinful, disgusting,” she screeched into his face.

“And yes, you knows what the church says, of course it matters that you're related.”

Hang on. More related? Who? Him and Annie? Annie!

That witch, that slut… As Annie's face filled Sadie's mind she completely lost her train of thought. She started back in, ranting and raving, berating the Hanns and the Byrnes, the likes of which should not be free to walk the earth with good people like herself.

Out of air, she stopped, though she was far from finished. That's when she saw the alarm on Gerard's face.

“Ma, take it easy, calm down,” he said, his hand reaching out to her again. “You're scaring me.”

She opened her mouth to continue, but all that came out was a wheezy breath.

I got to calm down. Got to make him listen. He's the only good thing I got. If he goes over to the Hanns everything I'm after working for will be wasted. This whole stupid life will be one big lie. I got to try another angle.

Sadie put her arms around him, cajoling him and telling him that he had not known the evil of Annie Byrne's ways, and thanking the Good Lord that they'd found out in time.

Suddenly inspired, she thought of Father Cunningham, the contrary old priest who had recently been assigned to the parish. She grabbed the phone. Her voice frantic, she begged him to talk to Gerard, now, tonight, before a mortal sin stained his soul forever. They would come right over, she said, dear Father, please don't let him spend his life atoning for the mistakes of his youth, please spare him the pain she'd endured because of that exact same thing, please don't let him break his mother's heart. She could feel Gerard's eyes fast upon her as she pleaded for help. She begged some more.

Head bowed, he went with her to see the priest.

And when that was done, when Father Cunningham was finished with him, she made Gerard swear on her life never to see Annie Byrne again, not even to say goodbye.

Why place himself into temptation, she said? Why tempt the devil? No, he just had to go away, from St. Jude the next day, from St. John's as soon as possible.

Sadie phoned Mercedes and between the two of them they convinced him that they knew best. He would transfer to the mainland immediately. Mercedes would make the necessary calls. It was the only way, they told him, that all of it would be buried forever.

Still he resisted. “Please, Ma,” he begged. “I can't just leave.”

Sadie leaned in so close that they were practically sharing the same mouthful of air. “If you don't do this I can promise you one thing. Mercedes will pay the price. I knows all about her, Gerard, there's nothing gets past me,” she bluffed. “You should know that by now. But her secret's safe with me, long as you does the right thing.”

“What do you know?”

“Never you mind what I knows. You just listen up. You owes me, Gerard,” she said, “and you owes Mercedes, bless her kind and gentle heart, the only good Hann to walk this earth.”

Hah!

“You do what you're told and no one need ever know. If we all vows to keep the secret, it can be done. I knows how to keep a secret, the Lord knows I do. I can keep a secret better than anyone alive, believe you me.”

“What are you talking about, Ma?”

“Don't you worry. You does what I says no one will know about any of this.”

He hung his head. “Please don't make me do this.”

Sadie grabbed his head and lifted it to look at her. “I'm warning you, Gerard. I knows more about Mercedes and the whole lot of them Byrnes and Hanns than you can shake a stick at. There's stuff goes way back, stuff that the Griffins are caught up in too, bad stuff, Gerard. So if you gives two shits about us, and about your precious Mercedes and even that goddamn Annie, you'll do like I says. I'll not be telling you twice. Now get packing.”

He stared at her for the longest time. Then he went to his room and took down his suitcase.

Several days later, Sadie's phone rang. She'd calmed down by then, through sheer force of will. Occasionally, however, it all flashed back at her, and she could feel the pressure of her blood raging through her heart.

“Hello?” Sadie's voice was sweet, welcoming even.

“Could I talk to Gerry please?”

Hah! The little slut finally gave in.

“Who is this?” Sadie asked innocently.

“It's Annie Byrne, Mrs. Griffin. Is Gerry there? We found some gloves.”

“Oh, Annie, is it? And how is your dear mother?”

Yankee whore.

“Fine. She thought the gloves might be Gerry's.”

“Gloves, eh? Hmm, no, no I don't think they'll be his. I'm sure he had them on when he left. Isn't that right, Debra?” She turned to her daughter who was feeding the baby porridge at the kitchen table. Debra shrugged.

“When he left?” said Annie.

“Yes, Gerard went on back into St. John's a few days back.”

“Why? I mean, I didn't think he'd be gone back so soon.”

“Yes, well neither did he now,” Sadie said, somehow managing to stop herself from yelling out that if it wasn't for Annie, he'd be in St. Jude having breakfast with his mother that minute. “But your aunt needed something and he couldn't refuse her now, could he?” Sadie rolled her eyes in disgust. “And just because it's Christmas and I barely seen him all year, for pity's sake, that's no excuse not to do a little favour for Mercedes, good woman that she is. You're lucky to have such a—”

“Aunt Mercedes sent him back to town early?”

“My, yes, she phoned here in a right panic, the night of your father's party it might have been, yes I'm sure it was, said she had to see him right away, and the next thing you know, he's off to St. John's.” Sadie was thoroughly enjoying herself now. “And I don't mind you know, he's such a good student and a hard worker too, and now moving to that Dalhousie, didn't Mercedes go there herself, a long time ago of course, isn't that right?” She hadn't meant to give quite so much information but the moment had gotten the better of her. She'd won.