Read Mermaid in Chelsea Creek Online
Authors: Michelle Tea
* * *
SOPHIE SAT WITH
the birds late into the night. The flock of them clustered around her. Some hopped into her lap and cooed, not unlike purring cats. Sophie felt like a bizarre Snow White. She half expected a happy creek rat to join their gathering, or a pompous sea gull or goofy raccoon. She petted the pigeons' feathers and found they enjoyed being scratched deeply on their necks, like dogs or cats. “Ooooh, that feels good,” said a bird hunkered on her thigh. All of the birds spoke in the most calming of voices, the sound of the first drift of sleep as it washes over you. Even Arthur, rankled and crotchety, had a voice that lulled, even as it shared tales of injury and battle.
“There are some you can trust and others who mean you harm,” Livia said solemnly.
“Angel,” Sophie said quickly. “Angel is good. She knows things. She gave me my necklace.”
Livia bobbed her head affirmatively. “Yes, Angel is good. Hennie, too.”
“Hennie? The old lady at the grocery store? The weird grocery store? She'sâgood?”
“She's on your side,” Livia said. “She knows things. You can trust her.”
“She looks like a witch,” Sophie said uneasily.
“She is a witch,” Livia confirmed.
“See?” Arthur snapped. Even his snapping was still sweet to the ear. “See what I mean about humans?
Oh, she looks like a witch.
What does that even mean? She's old? She's, what, she's a fat lady? She wears a funny hat on her head, what, she's got a big nose or something?”
“I didn't mean anything,” Sophie said quickly. “Her place is just sort of creepy is all.”
“Creepy,” Arthur spat with a coo. “Why, it's all dusty inside? Dust is of the earth. Feathers are of the earth, your skin is of the earth. All of it will be dust.” Arthur rose up on his feet, one good and one bad, and he stretched his wings grandly, beat them upon the air. “Never think you're better than any other living thing.”
“Arthur,” Livia chided.
“Here, here,” some birds in the back cooed, clapping their wings against their bodies.
“I have kept your story,” Arthur addressed Sophie. “Even when I haven't felt sure it was the right thing. The right thing for pigeons. So I am here to help you, but you are not a pigeon.” Arthur stared his tiny orange eye into Sophie's large brown one. “And my trust in you is not complete.”
“Okay,” Sophie said.
“
Anyway
,” Livia continued. “We've only been waiting hundreds of years to tell this girl these things, may I continue?”
“Continue,” Arthur said, with one last, grandiose beat of his wing.
“Hennie is a witch, and she will help you always. Angelâyou knew that.”
“My mother?” Sophie asked.
Livia twitched. She bobbed her head at Arthur, at the others. The pigeon on Sophie's thigh looked up at her briefly, and then buried her face into her feathers.
“We are unsure,” Livia said, regret in her voice like a new harmony. “This is the thread of the story that has been tampered with. Even with all our watching and observing, we have not been able to say for certain. She is either to be trusted, or she means you terrible harm.” Sophie could detect sadness in the pigeon's eye.
“Okay,” Sophie said. She supposed she knew that already. “My grandmother?”
“Kishkaâ” Livia began.
“The worst!” Arthur shouted. “The absolute worst, most wicked woman in all of humanity. Oh, the pigeons she's killed! With poisons,
with her own hands! She has wiped out generations of our young! She's even used a gun! She's a cold-blooded murderer! Shooting at pigeons for fun, for a thrill! She's a psychopath,” Arthur said darkly. “She's evil to people, too.”
“You cannot trust her,” Livia said simply.
Arthur carried on. “She treats humans like pigeons, pigeons like humans, rats like humans, pigeons like rats, humans like rats. If it's alive and it gets in her way, it's all the same. A terrible woman, a monster.”
“She does not have your best interest at heart,” Livia said.
“Really?” Sophie pushed skeptically at the birds. “Are you sure Kishka just isn'tâI mean, I know she is very bad to pigeons, and I know she is a cranky old lady, butâwhat did you call her, Arthur? The worst, most terribleâ”
“The absolute worst, most wicked woman in all of humanity!” Arthur proclaimed. “And no, it's not just because of all she has done to hurt pigeonsâthough that would be enough! But she does not stop there. She means great harm to every living thing on this earth. She is barely
of
this earth, she comes from another place, a terrible place where everything awful in the world comes from.”
“Butâ” Sophie wanted to debate the bird. Kishka? Kishka was not a warm woman, but she was not very different than most old women in Chelsea. Old women who had had hard lives, worked tough jobs, who had immigrated, had left a whole other life behind. All the losses they'd had in this world. It's hard to be an old woman, with all the bad parts of life piling up on your old lady shoulders.
“No
buts
,” Livia said sternly. Sternly, but softly. “It is important that you trust us. That you beware of her.”
Sophie shifted uncomfortably. It was true she felt a little scared of her grandmother, but everyone did. That didn't make her evil. But there were
things
about Kishka, there always had been. She knew everything Kishka didâthings that happened at home, at school, in her own head. Sophie had thought it was just something that grandmothers had, some special sense of their grandkids, because they were old and wise or something, but it was sort of weird. The cold feeling Sophie got when Kishka studied her like that. The way her perfume smelled, like nothing Sophie had ever smelled, lovely from a distance but close upâalmost like a poison. Maybe she was just allergic?
But there were also her nightmares of Kishka, where her grandmother morphed again and again into figures and creatures, strange monsters that followed Sophie and could see her always, Sophie could never hide. Kishka was evil in these dreams, and when Sophie awoke from them her room always felt thick, like the air had become spongy, and she would pinch herself to be sure the dream was gone, because she could still feel this monster version of her grandmother there inside the room with her. Sophie shuddered.
“I don't mean to scare you,” Livia said gently.
“I'm not scared, exactly,” Sophie said. “I'm justâyou know, this is all a little crazy. It's a
lot
crazy. I don't think
I'm
crazy, but you got to admit all this is pretty seriously crazy.”
“Deciding you're not crazy,” crowed Arthur, “is always a step in the right direction.”
“I will consider the possibility that my grandmother is evil.”
“You better consider it, kid. For all of our sake. Whatever stuff that mermaid showed you, that's your grandma.”
“And what about the mermaid? She's good, right?”
“Syrena is very good.” Livia nodded. “She has done you a wonderful favor, to come so far. You must take care to obey and respect her. She will teach you very much. Be kind to her. A little kindness goes far.”
“And Ella? My best friend, Ella?”
Livia was thoughtful. “It's not that you can't trust Ella,” she explained. “It will just take her a little while to understand.”
“By a little while, she means years,” Arthur butted in. “Don't sugar-coat it, Livia. The girl needs to know.”
“People in their ignorance can often seem bad,” said Livia. “Ella will not be of help to you for years to come.”
“
Years
?” Sophie asked. “Thisâthingâis going to take
years
?”
Livia clucked, and the flock cooed behind her. “Oh, darling,” her lovely voice soothed. “This is going to take the rest of your life.”
S
ophie traced her steps through Chelsea, back toward home. In the dark of night Chelsea almost felt safe. It was people that made the city dangerous, and the people were mostly asleep. Sophie passed their houses, dingy colored; their concrete steps, cracked; junk in their front yard, sneakers dangling from the phone wires above. Towels and sheets hung where curtains should be. One home even had a beach towel for a front door; the nubby image of a dog on the shore hung limply from the frame in the breezeless night.
Sophie walked and the pigeons came with her. Some had flown ahead to make sure everything was quiet at home, and a couple stayed with Sophie, riding on her shoulders. The rest flew to and fro, high in the sky above her. They were too heavy to fly slow or lowâ “What, do you think we're hummingbirds?” Arthur askedâtoo short and cumbersome to waddle alongside her on the pavement. Sophie loved the movement of them high above. They swooped like bats, the
fluted ones making their eerie, beautiful sound. She also loved the weight of the birds on her shoulders, the faint
coo
of their cooing so close to her ears.
About a block from home, Arthur touched down on the pavement before her, his proud chest broad and tufted. Sophie marveled at his wing's perfect peaks, the striations of feathersâeven in the dim light Sophie could see the stripes and shading. His wings were were muscular and elegant at once. Why
did
people hate pigeons, Sophie wondered? They were more attractive than seagulls, and while many found the gulls a nuisance, no one tried to kill them. They were more nuanced and interesting than crows, and their noises far less abrasive than that
caw-caw-caw
ing.
Sophie had heard just about everyone call pigeons “rats with wings.” At the close of this most fantastical of nights Sophie wondered, what was so bad about rats? If a group of rats had come to her at the creek, standing upward on their hind legs to
speak
with her, a sweet, plump lady rat like Livia and a proud, showboating rat like
Arthurâwell, if that had happened Sophie figured she'd be walking home with rats on her shoulders, and happily. People didn't
look
at the animals they claimed to hate, Sophie thought. They paid them no real attention, just agitation, and missed the ways they were as sweet as any other creature,
were
any other creature. They were dirty, and they scavenged for food, but in this way the pestsâthe pigeons, rats and cockroaches of Chelseaâwere not so different from the people they shared the city with.
“Fast asleep,” Arthur said. “That mother of yours. I recognize her. She's one of those who put dry rice out on the street 'cause they think our stomachs will explode.”
“I know,” Sophie said. “I told her to stop.”
“Tell her when I want to eat rice, I hit the dumpsters behind Comida Criolla and get the good stuff. We don't like chomping on dry rice anymore than she does.”
“Arthur,” Sophie said. “I'm probably not going to tell her about you guys.”
“Why?” the bird challenged. “Ashamed to be seen with a flock of pigeons?”
“Arthur,” Livia stepped in. “Leave Sophia alone. She can't tell her mother about us, she'd never be believed and it would put her in danger. We don't know that her mother isn't an enemy.”
“I'll say she's an enemy,” Arthur grumbled. “Listen, it's not a coincidence that humans who put dry rice on their sidewalks tend to find a lot of bird doo on their cars.”
“Arthur!” Livia trilled, and Sophie giggled. “You are coming very close to compromising your dignity.”
“There
is
a lot of bird doo on my mom's car,” Sophie said. She knew her mother deserved it for what she'd tried to do to the pigeons.
“Now you know,” Arthur said with what would have been a wink, if pigeons could wink, which they can't. But he dropped the subject, because Livia had said the magic word. Dignity was deeply important to the pigeons. In a world where they were persecuted, it was important that they retain their nobility and not stoop to retaliate in a manner that only degraded them and enforced the humans' views.
On the long block of Heard Street where Sophie lived, the houses were dark as the sky. But not Sophie's. Through her window she could see the flash and glow of the television against the walls, like the Northern Lights, she thought, only not. Not like the Northern Lights at all. More like a television left on long into the night, a television playing its shapes across the face of a sleeping single mother. There was nothing natural or mystical about it.