MERMEN (The Mermen Trilogy #1) (17 page)

If they were going to hurt you, they would’ve. Go!

She stepped into the waves, but something tugged inside her mind.
Wait. If I leave, then what about Roen?
That thing had told her she couldn’t ever tell anyone about the island.

I have to go back for him.
Liv turned and froze. Just outside the tree line stood Roen with a tormented look in his green eyes.
Why’s he standing there?

“Roen! Look!” She pointed toward the ship.

He didn’t move toward her. Instead, he lifted his hand to wave goodbye.

“Roen! Goddammit,” she yelled. “Please!”

Roen looked at his bare feet and turned away, heading into the forest.

Oh God. He’s really staying.
But what possible motive could he have? She couldn’t think of one goddamned reason. He’d already told her that his brother was happy, so it wasn’t like the man needed to be rescued. Then there was the fact that Roen had a life, a pretty damned big one, back in the real world. Something was keeping him here, but what?

She took a deep breath, feeling a pull so strong, it nearly ripped her in two. She wanted to go after him, to make him come with her.

Liv glanced over her shoulder at the boat.
Dammit.
She’d never survive if she stayed.
Think about your family. Think about Dana and Krista.
Was going after Roen worth the rest of her life with the people she loved? Was it worth risking her life?

She looked down at the salt water swishing around her knees.

Suddenly, Liv was running as fast as she could toward the shore, but as she reached the beach, the sand beneath her dissolved into nothing. She felt her body falling forward, but when she thrust out her hands to break her fall, there was nothing but water.

Heart pounding, she managed to bring her head out of the water and gasp for air, but when she looked up, the island was gone.

“Look! Over there!” a man’s voice yelled off in the distance. Then the sound of a loud siren filled her ears.

“No, no, no!”
Where the fuck is the island?
Treading water, Liv spun in a circle, searching for any sign of the damned thing, but there was nothing except miles of open water and that enormous cargo ship.

She suddenly heard a loud splash and the sound of a small motor. She looked over her shoulder as a military-style raft approached with two men aboard.

No, goddammit
! Sobbing, she started swimming back toward the direction of where the island had to be, but the current pushed her back. When the men finally reached her, she felt like her soul had been ripped in two. She was saved, but she’d left something important on that island: a piece of her heart.

~ ~ ~

Roen walked away from Liv and let out a slow breath. Getting her off the island had not been as easy as he’d thought, but it was done, and that was all that mattered. It didn’t mean, however, he wouldn’t regret it for the rest of his life or regret the deal he’d just had to strike with the island to make it all happen.

“Brother.” Lyle stood on the path, arms folded over his chest. “I heard the news about your mate.”

“Who told you?” Roen asked.

Lyle raised a dark brow as if to say, “Who do you think?”

Roen simply nodded. Of course. The island had. Which meant Lyle also knew what Liv’s freedom had just cost him and would cost others. “Yeah, well.”

“The island cannot read your mind, but once you’ve let her in, she can read what’s in your heart. You can’t ever deceive her.”

Roen knew that now. While he’d been with Liv, he’d tried to block out his torment over knowing he’d never see her again. But that had been impossible. The island knew all along what he’d intended to do. Simply put, it was a miracle she’d not been killed.

It was also a miracle he’d resisted Liv the way he had when every cell in his body cried out for her. He’d wanted to fuck her five different ways until sunrise and then spend the entire day making it up to her with long baths and slow lovemaking. But had he done that, Liv’s life as she knew it would’ve been over, and he simply couldn’t do that to the only woman he’d ever felt anything for. Yes, he’d done one decent and right thing in his life by saving Liv.

I just hope that’s enough to carry you through what will come next.

“You must let her go.” Lyle reached out and squeezed Roen’s shoulder.

Roen nodded. “I already have.”

“Good. Because you managed to do the one thing I could not.”

Roen looked at Lyle, waiting for the answer.

“To save someone they cared about from ending up on this island.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

Two Months Later.

This was a mistake. She’ll lock me up if I tell the truth.
Cold sweaty hands fisted tightly, Liv shifted on the brown leather armchair and stared out the window overlooking the empty courtyard of the small office complex. As usual for this time of year in Wrangell, Alaska, it was cool but sunny outside, and just the sort of late spring day that used to get her into the garden.

Not anymore.
Now she hated being outdoors.

“Ms. Stratton?” Dr. June, a woman in her late sixties, sat patiently across from Liv.

“Liv. Call me Liv,” she muttered, avoiding full eye contact.

Dr. June uncrossed her legs and set her notepad on the doily-covered glass coffee table between them. “All right, Liv. You came to see me because you wanted help, but you haven’t spoken once in three sessions, so why don’t you try to tell me what’s on your mind? I’m not going to judge; I promise.”

“I can’t,” Liv whispered. “I thought I could, but I can’t.” The memories were just too painful, and she didn’t know how to organize the chaos inside her head in a way that would make sense to her, let alone a psychiatrist. But she knew she needed this. So very badly.

“It’s very common to feel that way, Liv. You survived a traumatic event. But I always tell my patients to start with something easy and small. Just see where it goes.”

That was the problem; she’d survived. And what had started out as a very publicized but emotional, joyous reunion with her family, who’d believed she’d died, had turned into a nightmare.

The media had gotten wind that she’d been found in the middle of the North Pacific by one of Roen Doran’s cargo ships after they’d received a mysterious call from him instructing them to come back for her. Obviously, the world wondered where the hell he was, because the last thing anyone knew for certain was that his helicopter had gone down near where they’d rescued Liv. In addition, five of Roen’s crew had taken one of the small boats from the ship, looking for survivors after his chopper went down. They never returned.

Of course, Liv knew why, and everyone looked to her for all the answers, especially the part about Roen. First the Coast Guard and FBI, then Roen’s lawyer—some guy named Phil, who told her he’d ruin her “pathetic white-trash existence” if she didn’t tell him what she knew regarding Roen’s whereabouts. Where the hell did anyone get off saying that kind of garbage to another person? Her father was an insurance broker and her mother worked as a bookkeeper. They weren’t filthy rich like Roen, but that Phil sleazeball spoke to her like she was nothing because of it. She hung up on the a-hole, and then things got really bad. Was he behind it? She didn’t know, but the tabloids printed made-up stories about her being involved in some kidnapping plot. The news channels and papers joined in and showed pictures of her, even naming her hometown. For Christ’s sake, Wrangell’s population was only two thousand four hundred. They might as well have given out her home address to the entire world.

“I don’t know anything,” she’d told them all. “The fishing boat went down. I was in a raft for twelve days, and it finally deflated. A ship rescued me just in time, but I never saw or spoke to anyone.” And when they asked her to explain Roen’s call to his ship, she simply said she couldn’t. Luckily, the authorities didn’t believe any of the horrific accusations, but that didn’t mean they believed her lies either. Even her parents called her out, telling her if she knew something, it was her obligation to say so. But none of that gigantic cluster compared to her guilt over Roen. He was still on that island. And no one would be coming to help him. No one.

“Liv?” Dr. June leaned closer. “Liv, honey, there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re safe now, and no one can hurt you here.”

Was that really true? Because Liv’s frantically beating heart told her she was anything but safe.

“I’m—I’m not sure coming here was a good idea,” Liv said, tugging at the collar of her red turtleneck.

“Of course it was. Just take a moment to gather your thoughts. You’re my last appointment of the day, so I’ll wait as long as you need.”

That could be a hell of a long time.

“May I?” Liv glanced at the water cooler in the corner next to the bookshelf full of cat memorabilia and snow globes. She thanked her lucky stars that the psychiatrist wasn’t into fish. Liv didn’t want to think about anything with fins.

“Of course, dear. Help yourself.” Dr. June flashed a comforting smile.

Liv got up and crossed the homey, knickknack-filled office, refusing to look at herself in the beveled mirror stuck to the wall for those “get in touch with yourself” sessions. Seeing her reflection—bloodshot brown eyes and unkempt brown hair—only reminded her of the mess she’d become.

Liv took a paper cup from the dispenser and filled it up. Suddenly, words bubbled from her mouth. “They said that they’d come for me if I told anyone. That they would know.” Liv closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for the sky to fall. Of course, it didn’t.

Okay. See. That wasn’t so hard and nothing bad happened.

“Keep going, Liv. Who told you they’d come for you?”

Liv gulped down her water, but kept her back to Dr. June.
Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. You can do this.

She ran one hand over the back of her head. “The problem is, they weren’t…” She wanted to say they weren’t human. And after she’d seen those creatures on the beach, she now knew that everything she’d heard on that island was true. So perhaps it was true that they’d hunt her down and kill her if she broke her promise to stay silent. If they did, what would happen to her family? They’d just gotten her back. But Liv simply couldn’t stop the nightmares. She couldn’t let go of what she’d seen and what she’d done. Worst of all, she couldn’t let go of Roen. Every thought led back to him.

How could I have left him behind? He saved me, and I left him with those savages.
It didn’t matter that he’d stayed of his own free will. The man hadn’t been well. But she’d left him with no hope of rescue. Why? Because she’d promised never to tell anyone about the island. She should’ve said no, but Liv had been terrified for her life. Especially after she learned what those men did to women. It was unspeakable.

“Liv, here’s what I’d like you to do.” Dr. June stood and handed Liv her notepad and pen. “I want you to write down what you can’t say. Then I’ll read it and we’ll burn it together in the trash can. That way, no one but us will ever know what you wrote. Okay?”

Liv nodded her head. She had to tell someone. She needed to figure out what to do.

Liv took the pen and paper, but couldn’t make her hand move.
You’re being irrational. You need to tell her. You need help.
Liv hadn’t slept in two months and could barely eat. She’d been unable to return to her life in Seattle, where she attended school, or function in any normal way. She was spiraling hard.

Liv scribbled one word on the paper and handed it to Dr. June.

Dr. June read it and frowned with a deeply disturbed expression. “I don’t understand. You think mermen are coming to get you?”

Yes, and part of me wants them to. I deserve to be punished
.

Liv replied yes and in that moment, a powerful wave of painful pinpricks exploded. Her body began to convulse uncontrollably, and she tumbled to the floor.

“Liv!” The doctor jumped from her seat and called for help. “Liv! Can you hear me?” But all Liv could do was clench her teeth as the excruciating pain barreled through her veins like molten lava pushing its way through her skin, trying to break free. Suddenly, it did. The pain evaporated, and she could almost taste it in the air, rising above her body.

The doctor told her assistant to call nine-one-one then turned her attention back to Liv. “Try to breathe, Liv. Just try to breathe. An ambulance will be here in a few minutes,” Dr. June said.

Liv gasped and held her trembling hand over her mouth. She knew. She somehow knew what had just happened.
It was a beacon.

“Oh my God,” she whispered.
They know. And now they’re coming for me.

“Liv, just try to breathe slowly.”

Liv heard the sirens off in the distance and sat up. An ambulance wasn’t going to help her. Nothing could.

“No. You lie still.” The doctor gently pushed back on her shoulder, but Liv didn’t want to be put in the position of being asked anymore questions.

“I’m fine. I think it was just a panic attack or something.”

“Liv, you looked like you were having a seizure.”

Liv got to her feet. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“I can’t let you leave here like this.” The doctor crossed her arms. “You said you saw mermen. You said you think they’re coming for you.”

Liv laughed. “I didn’t mean literally. I’ve been having these nightmares. That’s all. I’m really, really tired.”

The doctor stared at her. “I’m not letting you get behind the wheel of a car. I’d be a poor doctor if I did.”

Two female paramedics burst into the room. Of course, they didn’t see anyone who appeared injured or sick, so that made them pause.

“Liv, let them check you out.”

“Or?”

“Or I’ll tell them to put you under psychiatric evaluation.”

Liv wanted to strangle the damned woman, but what choice did she have now? “Fine. I’ll go with them.”

Dr. June smiled. “Very good, Liv.” She turned her head toward the paramedics. “My patient seems to have experienced a seizure. Please be sure they look her over thoroughly.”