When Lady Gray Eyes looked at the twin-serpent head of the Mother Goddess, obscured by steam and smoke and smeared with the blood of her mother, she vowed: "This terror must stop." The destruction of this appalling goddess now became an obsession, and during the years from 1507 to 1518 she made discreet investigations that convinced her that the city was full of people who were as disgusted and disaffected as she but could only stand by helplessly. In later years she said of these days: "So we lived in a terrible darkness, desperately hoping for the rediscovery of peace and the rebirth of human love. But after many years of fearful silence it became the general opinion that the salvation of our city would come not from within but from without--that some act from the outside world would rescue us--but the likelihood of this seemed so remote, and a thing so futile to hope for, that I concluded that salvation must come from within, and 1 dedicated myself to the destruction of the terrible goddess."
As the year 1519 dawned with its customary savage ceremonies, the full power of the Mother Goddess was brought to bear against Lady Gray Eyes. One afternoon as she was sitting in her garden she was approached by a trio of senior priests who were so supercilious in manner that she had an instant premonition of disaster. "Revered Highness," said their leader, "we bring joyous news. Your son--"
"Which one?" she asked, trembling.
"Your second, Ixmiq, named after the builder of our sacred pyramid."
"Yes?"
"He has the honor of having been chosen this year's Perfect Youth."
She did not cry out, for she had been taught from childhood that that was not allowed. Her father and her nurses had preached: "It is the duty of women to bear sons for the glory of the Mother Goddess. Some become warriors in her defense. Some are sacrificed to prove our respect. And each year some mother is honored above all others by having her son chosen as the Perfect Youth."
Biting her lip to prevent herself from shrieking at these miserable men, she sat immobile, her mind in a frenzy, as the priests went to the house, called forth her nineteen-year-old son, Ixmiq, and led him away. He was allowed no farewell words, no last embrace, for priests had learned from past experience that such acts were apt to create exhibitions of weakness unworthy of the Mother Goddess, so the queen was forced to remain sitting there as her radiant son left his home for the last time.
Young Ixmiq was moved into a small sacred palace, where he was daily anointed with oil, bedecked with flowers and cloth of gold, and taught to play the flute. He ate only the most exquisite of foods and was constantly massaged by priests so that no ungainly fat should accumulate on his athletic body. He was encouraged to play games and sing, and at night he
. W
as watched by four priests lest he catch cold and diminish his health. His long hair was plaited with flowers, and he was sprinkled with perfume.
For eleven months, Ixmiq led a cloistered existence. He was allowed to see his royal father now and again, but he was not permitted to talk with his mother, for the priests had found in earlier years that such a meeting sometimes unmanned the Perfeet Youth and induced melancholy, which had no place in their plans for him; furthermore, Lady Gray Eyes was suspect because her mother had sinned against the Mother Goddess.
On the first day of the twelfth month four of the most beautiful young girls of the city were brought into the sacred palace, where in the presence of Ixmiq they were undressed by a priest, who said simply: "Enjoy them." And from then on the girls were constantly with the Perfect Youth, enticing him to lose himself in sensual pleasures.
This was a cynical move on the part of the priests: they had found that if a young man came to the last days completely debilitated through sexual excess he was more apt to be submissive and not mar the culminating sacred moment of the year by resisting and creating a scene. But for further insurance they introduced into his diet during this last month substantial amounts of mescaline, a narcotic derived from cactus buds, and this ensured both an initial sexual excitement and a subsequent lassitude.
But this year the plans of the priests went awry. There was among the four young girls sent to serve Ixmiq an exquisite child of sixteen named Xochitl, who was the last to sleep with Ixmiq because she was the youngest. But once he discovered her he loved her so intensely that he wished to have nothing more to do with the others. The priests noticed this with dismay, for experience had taught them that if a Perfect Youth formed any strong attachment for one particular girl among the customary four, he was apt to dread the moment of separation and behave badly at the ceremony that would end his life. After consultation, therefore, the priests decided to whisk Xochitl away from the palace and to substitute for her a somewhat older girl, but when they did this, Ixmiq refused to leave his quarters, where he remained secluded, pensively playing the flute. When the priests asked why he was being so solitary, he replied: "I am waiting for Xochitl."
It was apparent that unless the young girl was returned to Ixmiq there was going to be trouble, so the priests brought her back but threatened: "Unless you keep Ixmiq from loving you, when he dies you will be burned alive." But when they thrust the girl back into the room, she ran to Ixmiq and they embraced passionately, and for the last eleven days of the month they stayed together. The other three girls could do nothing, for Ixmiq refused to associate with anyone but X6chitl, and when the priests tried to drag him away he was sufficiently in control to feign hysteria: "If you take her away I'll scream, and lunge at you and create a great noise at your ceremony." Seething with rage, they were forced to retreat.
When they were gone, Ixmiq laughed at the success of his ruse, and drew Xochitl to him, saying bravely: "It won't be too painful, little bird. For one month you'll be my wife. Lots of young men marry and either go off to war and death, or are chosen for some important sacrifice. It happens."
"But what of the children we should have? I want to have your children."
"Maybe I'll leave you with a son," he said consolingly. When she drew back and said almost in tears, "I can't pray to a creature like Mother Goddess for aid in becoming pregnant," he could think of no god in the Cactus pantheon to whom a young woman could pray for help.
In the quiet of their luxurious prison they could take consolation only in the fact that he had succeeded in convincing the priests that he loved her, and that she was able to share his last days even if she did so at mortal danger to herself.
On the last day of the year 1519, when Ixmiq was given food that was drugged almost to the point of causing nausea so that his eyes were dull and heavy, he was anointed for the last time and dressed in robes of unusual splendor. Flowers and jewels were woven into his hair and sandals with golden buckles were put on his feet. He clasped Xochitl to his bosom and whispered: "You are my wife."
He then left the palace and, one of the most handsome young men ever to have performed this rite, he walked in a kind of golden haze through the streets of the city, and as he walked he played occasionally on one or another of his flutes. It was a day of complete beauty, with the sun that lit his face making his jewels shimmer. The king, his father, was proud of his son's regal bearing, but Lady Gray Eyes clenched her fists, barely restraining her grief and anger.
The priests, who were aware through their spies that the queen had been asking dangerous questions but were not yet strong enough to offend the king by attacking her openly, had arranged that she not be present at the final rites lest she call out and distress her son. She was therefore excused from witnessing the final act, and for this she was grateful.
Toward three in the afternoon, when the sun had noticeably declined and birds were beginning to sing before roosting, Ixmiq walked gallantly toward the temple of the Mother Goddess, and now a hush fell over the multitude that followed him. The priests fell away and prayed that their selection would behave himself well. Stepping upon the first stone of the stairway leading to the altar, he turned to face the crowd, raised his hands above his head, and broke one of the flutes. Throwing the pieces gaily'over his shoulder, he ascended to the next step, where he broke another flute. At the small terrace that separated the two flights of stairs, he paused to play a brief song, after which he broke the flute he had been using, and in this manner he came to the top of the stairs and to the altar, where he broke his last flute and threw the two parts out to the silent and admiring crowd. He should then have presented himself impassively to the five waiting priests--four to bind him and one to kill--but instead he threw his arms into the air and screamed in agony so that all could hear: "Xochitl, Xochitl!" The outraged priests grabbed him and smashed him so hard on the sacrificial disk that his back was broken and his senses were gone even before the knife plunged into his chest.
Thus the year 1520 got off to an ominous start, and rumors of events that could not be understood were blamed on Ixmiq and his misbehavior at the sacrifice. One of Lady Gray Eyes' uncles, the wise man Xaca who served as an ambassador to the Aztecs in the great city to the southeast, returned with staggering news: "A frightening group of men, gods perhaps from another world, white of skin and speaking a strange language, have come to the jungles at the feet of the great volcanoes. They are served by lesser gods that run on four feet and carry the strangers on their backs. And both the men and the lesser gods protect themselves with a heavy cloth that glistens in the sun and cannot be pierced by arrows."
All the priests and wise men in the city were assembled to analyze Ambassador Xaca's report, and after each frightening item had been analyzed and rejected as absurd, the priests' only proposal was that Xaca should be sacrificed to Mother Goddess as a liar and one who did not have her welfare at heart. But others, who struggled to understand the new mysteries, argued: "Let us accept what Xaca has said and try to determine what it means," so the ambassador was spared to repeat what he had been told, but when the priests hammered at him: "Did you see the white-faced men? Did you see the lesser gods with four feet? Did you touch the garment that cannot be pierced?" he had to answer no, and was again discredited and sentenced to death as a deranged menace. Only the courage of the king wrested him from the priests and allowed him to escape back to the safer climate of the Aztec capital, where men now had painful proof that a new force had entered Mexican life.
With the ambassador gone, there was a strong movement to blame Lady Gray Eyes for the dangers that were threatening Mexico, for she had certainly abetted her son in his abysmal behavior. For the moment, the king remained strong enough to protect her as he had his ambassador, but events were unfolding with such speed and mystery that even he had begun to suspect her loyalty to the gods who had made his Cactus People strong.
Most of all, the priests were determined to execute Xochitl because they believed that the sixteen-year-old girl had bewitched the Perfect Youth and had kept him from performing his duties in proper style. But they could not find her, for on the day Ixmiq was sacrificed Lady Gray Eyes had anticipated the priests' intentions and had secreted her in a cave under the royal palace, where the queen attended her as her pregnancy advanced.
"All this senseless sacrifice must soon end," the queen said. "Xochitl, the priests may kill you and me, as they seem determined to do, but this evil can't go on much longer." Once she took the girl's hands in hers and asked, "Tell me the truth, before you were sent to my son, did you realize how evil all this was?"
"I knew," Xochitl said. "My mother told me."
"Oh my child, thank you!" Lady Gray Eyes started to weep and now it was the girl who comforted her.
"When my son is born," Xochitl promised, "I shall tell him the truth. So far it's been only women telling other women."
At these words Lady Gray Eyes felt new tears well in her eyes and she clasped the young girl in her arms. "I had forgotten how to weep," the queen said.
In July, the seventh month of Xochitl's pregnancy, Lady Gray Eyes came into the cave in some excitement and carrying a package. "I must tell you what has happened," she began. Then abruptly she stopped speaking and began to kiss Xochitl.
"My beloved daughter," she whispered, "you are the only one to whom I can speak. Have a strong child. Have a son as beautiful as his father."
"I know I will," Xochitl replied.
'This must remain a secret between us," Lady Gray Eyes insisted as she unrolled a length of parchment. "My Uncle Xaca, ambassador to the Aztecs, sent to me secretly a picture of the gods whom the strangers worship, and here they are!" In the dim light of the cave the queen and her pregnant daughter
-
in-law unrolled the parchment and saw a drawing of a serene mother fondly holding on her knee a boy of one or two years, and in silence the two women contemplated the picture for a long time.
Finally Xochitl asked: "What kind of gods are they?"
"You can see," Lady Gray Eyes replied. "A mother whose head is not a serpent. A son whose hands are not caked with blood."
Again the two women reflected Upon the enormous moral chasm that separated the new gods from the ones they knew. Neither spoke, but years later Lady Gray Eyes reported what happened: "So we sat there in the cave, my pregnant daughter and I, and I thought, For all these years we've been hiding in caves and worshiping hideous gods, while in other parts of the world people could look at the sky and worship human beings like themselves who could weep. But what impressed us most that day was that the mother had a benign smile as if she loved everyone and hated none, and the difference between this kind of god and the ones we had known was so great that later, when we comprehended it more fully, Xochitl said, 'My son shall be born to these gods,' and it was so."