Mid Life Love (38 page)

C
laire

Coming here is the worst decision I’ve
ever made...

I was sitting near the edge of the resort’s private
beach, pretending to read my e-reader, but secretly watching Jonathan walk
alongside the shore with another woman. However, this woman wasn’t just
any
woman
. She was Stacy Rodriguez, world class supermodel and designer
extraordinaire. She was easily one of the sexiest women in the
world—beautifully tanned and slim body with naturally huge breasts, wavy jet
black hair, and dark gray eyes with speckles of light blue that glimmered in
the sunlight.

I’d been watching her and Jonathan all day: At the
conference’s first breakfast, they’d sat too close for comfort, laughing at
little private jokes that I’d strained to hear. While Damien and I were taking
a tour of the art gallery, I’d looked down from the windows and saw the two of
them having a private picnic on a blanket below. I’d even seen the two of them
driving carts around the resort’s perfectly trimmed golf course while we were
eating our lunch. 

“Stop it, Jonathan!” She squealed as he tossed her
into the water.

I jumped up, tempted to run over there and slap him
for letting her get that close to him, for letting her
touch
him. Yet, I
quickly sat back down, realizing that too many people were around and I didn’t
want to make a scene.

Jealous, I put down my e reader and narrowed my eyes
at the sappy scene that was playing in front of me.

How can he possibly be upset with me
about Damien when he’s dating a damn supermodel? And of all supermodels, Stacy
Rodriguez, the most famous one?

“Daiquiri?” Damien stood in front of me with an
umbrella drink.

“
Please
.”

“You’ll have to pay me for it first...”

“What? What do you—”

He bent down and kissed me—a slow, passionate,
‘I-know-this-is-making-you-melt’ kiss. He tilted my chin up, pushing his tongue
further and further into my mouth, softly biting down on my bottom lip each
time I tried to control the pace.

I didn’t care though; I kept trying to force him to
let me take the lead. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressed myself against
him, and let my tongue explore every inch of his mouth.

“Whoa...” Damien pulled away from me. “Kiss me like
that again and we’ll have to lock ourselves in the suite for the rest of the
week.” He smiled and handed me the drink.

I took a sip and saw Jonathan staring at me out the
corner of my eye, knowing that he’d just seen me kiss Damien.

His fists were balled at his side, his face was a
deadly red, and his eyes were thin slits. He took a few steps in my direction
but Stacy grabbed his hand and tugged him down the shore. 

“Are you okay, Claire?” Damien put his arm around my
shoulder. “Is something wrong with the drink?”

“The drink is great...” I tore my eyes away from Stacy
and Jonathan. “What other events are happening today?”

“Well, I have a few tech sessions to go to this
evening, but there’s the late night benefit ball at midnight.”

“There’s literally a ball every night this week? I
thought you were joking...”

“I wasn’t. It’s a tax break thing.” He laughed.
“There’s an early entry for the highest contributors, so you and I will have to
be there a little early.”

“What happens at early entry?”

“It’s just a bit more intimate than the regular
ball—dimmer lights, small candle-lit dinner, and first dibs on the silent
auction items. If you want anything that’s up for bid, let me know and I’ll buy
it for you.”

“Oh, I probably won’t even go near—”

He pulled me on top of him. “You should...And you
should let me buy whatever you want.” He placed a light kiss on my lips. “I
want you to enjoy yourself this week so don’t be shy about doing things that
make you happy.”

He began rubbing my back and I looked over my
shoulder—to see if Jonathan was watching, but Damien turned my head back around
to face him. He slipped his tongue into my mouth again and all my thoughts
blurred, leaving me lost once more.

––––––––

“J
ust like that, Claire...Two steps
forward, one step back...Very good...”

Damien spun me out of his arms and quickly drew me
back. “You’re a wonderful dancer, Claire. Did you learn or are you a natural?”

“I learned...”

“Well, whoever taught you is one hell of a teacher.
I’m impressed.” He placed his hands around my waist and I leaned against his
chest.

As we waltzed around the dance floor, I started to
wonder if I could develop feelings for him with time, if he and I might have a
chance after all.

He’d been extra attentive ever since we left the
beach: He skipped one of his tech meetings to join me at my massage
appointment, arranged for me to take an evening horse riding lesson, and even
helped me pick out which dress I should wear tonight.

I leaned against his chest and looked out over the
room. It was dark with a few massive candles providing the only light. On the
far end of the room—in a corner that was illuminated by a yellow haze, a group
of violinists played a beautiful song that reverberated throughout the space. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the lead violinist said as
her companions continued to play, “we have a lot more songs that we’re going to
play for you tonight, but we want you to know that the lights are about to be
slightly brightened since the early entry portion of the ball has ended.”

The few people that were in the room clapped and the
lights became a tad bit brighter. I looked around for Jonathan—I could
feel
him watching me, but I could only see ten other people in the room and he
wasn’t one of them.

Why does it “feel” like he’s here
though?

I heard a soft clicking sound, and the doors at the
back of the room opened, allowing a large group of tuxedo-clad and ball gown
wearing guests into the room. 

“As is tradition at the benefit ball, the first
fifteen minutes of dance should be with someone that you don’t know. Once
everyone is inside, my companions and I will make play three harsh chords to
indicate that it’s time to find someone new to dance with, and the lights will
dim again.”

The room started to become louder and louder as the
other attendees continued to pour in, and Damien held me tighter—as if he was
protecting me from everyone else.

“I’m not sure if I want to dance with anyone else
tonight,” he whispered. “Do you?”

“No...”

He kissed my forehead and laughed softly. “Okay,
well we won’t. I’ll keep you all to myself. I don’t want—”

“Mr. Edwards?” a woman said his name and we both
turned around. “I’m sorry to interrupt you sir, but that shipment you asked
about the other day is...” She looked at me and then back at him. “Can I speak to
you about this in private?”

“Can it wait?”

She shrugged. “Sure, a twenty million dollar
shipment that was inaccurately re-routed can simply...
wait
.”

He sighed and looked at me. “Would you please excuse
me, sweetheart? I won’t be gone for too long...Don’t give away any dances.” He
lifted my hand and kissed it before walking away.

“Screechhh! Screechhh! Screechhh!” The violinists
scratched their violins to signal the “new dance partner” portion, and then
they began to play a beautiful harmony. 

The lights began to dim again—almost as dark as they
were before, and I heard more instruments—flutes, horns, saxophones, joining in
on the violinists’ serenade.

I walked towards the table Damien and I had shared
at the candlelit dinner, weaving my way past dancing couples, but before I
could sit down, I felt someone grabbing me by my waist.

I tried to push the strong hands away, but it was no
use. The hands gripped me even tighter and I felt myself being pulled up
against a familiar chest. Jonathan. 

He didn’t say a word. He spun me around so we were
facing one another and stared at me. He put my arms around his neck and slipped
his arms around my waist, looking into my eyes with an expression I couldn’t
recognize.

Then he began to dance with me, but it wasn’t smooth
and gentle like it used to be. It was
rough
.

He gripped my sides too hard, twirled me without any
finesse, and pushed me away whenever it was time to pull me close.

As he pushed me away again, I realized that I needed
to say something before he purposely dropped me to the floor.

“It must be nice to have a world class supermodel on
your arm.” I tried not to sound jealous. “I bet you two have been having a
really good time in your suite since you’ve been here...”

“We have.”

What?
I tried to
untangle myself from his arms, but he dipped me low to the ground and held me
there, glaring at me, daring me to say something else.

I tucked my lips into my mouth.

He pulled me up and continued the angry rhythm he’d
established, refusing to let me go. Then he suddenly stopped dancing
altogether. “Have you slept with him?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Who?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Claire. Have. You. Slept. With.
Him?”

“Define
slept with
.”

He pulled me close and gripped my sides so firmly
that I could barely breathe. “You
fucked
him?”

“You slept with Stacy Rodriguez. Why do you care
what I do?”

He spun me out of his arms. “
I don’t
.” But
from the look in his eyes, I knew that he did, that he wanted—
needed
me
to say that it wasn’t true.

“I don’t need to do this to myself.” He dropped my
hands and shook his head. “Forgive me for interrupting your night, Claire. I
wish you well and I—”

“I didn’t sleep with him.”

He blinked.

“I was too wrapped up in someone else to do that...But
that someone else has
clearly
moved on, so maybe tonight I should go
ahead and—”

“Stacy is just a friend.”

“You two look like a lot more than friends...Friends
don’t put their arms around each other or play around like you two have been
doing.”

He rolled his eyes. “She’s just a friend.” He placed
my arms around his neck again and picked up the dance where we left off. “Of
all the men you could’ve dated after me, you chose
Damien Edwards
?”

“I didn’t know I needed your approval for whoever I
choose to date.”

“Seeing as though you were only supposed to be
dating
me
, I’m sure you can see why I would be upset with your poor
decision-making skills. You can do a lot better than him.”

“Taking dating advice from an ex-boyfriend? How
appropriate
.”

“I never did get a chance to buy you that thesaurus...”
He tugged at the bow on the back of my gown. “Does your new boyfriend know that
I bought you this dress?”

“He doesn’t know about you at all.”

He twirled me around. “Does he make you happy?

I didn’t say anything. I continued dancing with him,
trying to read his eyes and force the words I wanted to say out of my mouth.
“I’m...I’m sorry that I left you, Jonathan.”

He stopped moving. “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry that I left you...”

He sighed and twirled me again, not saying anything
in response. He kept swaying me to the beat, acting as if I hadn’t said
anything important.

I felt tears welling in my eyes and jerked out of
his arms. “You don’t believe me? I really am sorry...I didn’t mean to hurt—”

“
You did
. You left me for a bullshit reason
and you never even tried to explain what had been going on between you and my
mother.” His eyes turned to slits. “And the next time I happen to see you,
you’re wrapped up in my competitor’s arms and his tongue is ten feet down
your
throat
. You saying ‘I’m sorry’ is supposed to fix that? I haven’t been able
to
think
about another woman, let alone date one since you left me. Yet,
here you are with
Damien Edwards
, damn near having sex on the beach.”

“It’s not what you think...” I tried not to cry. “I
was wishing he was you the entire time.”

“So you
did
fuck him?” He hissed. “Because if
he
were
me, that’s exactly what you would be doing.”

“No...”

He rolled his eyes. “It took everything I had not to
drag you out of that room at the opening ball, Claire. You’re lucky some of my
investors are here because if they weren’t, I swear to God I would’ve grabbed
you by your—”

“Jonathan—”

“Your nerve is un-fucking-believable. If I wasn’t so
angry with you, I’d fuck you right here so you could feel exactly how—”

“I love you, Jonathan.” I leaned forward and pressed
my finger against his lips. “I don’t have any feelings for Damien and I don’t
want to be with him. I’m only using him to get over you, and I
am
sorry
for leaving...I really am...I don’t expect me saying that to magically erase what I
did, but it’s the truth.”

He was silent for a while. “Why did you come here
with him at all? You knew there was a chance that I would be here.”

“I didn’t...”

“What’s your excuse for kissing him in front of me
then? You knew damn well that I was watching you...”

“I was mad at you for letting Stacy get that close
to you. I wanted to make you jealous...”

“I was already jealous...” He clasped my hands and
started to dance with me again, staring into my eyes. As we moved across the
floor, he rubbed the small of my back and sighed. “How are Ashley and
Caroline?”

“They’re doing okay...Caroline has a boyfriend now,
and Ashley’s currently grounded for taking my car without permission. I
actually enjoyed having her home this past weekend. She helped keep my mind
off—”