Authors: Sherryl Woods
“And you?”
“It’s how I see you, too,” she insisted.
“That’s not how it sounded just a few minutes ago,” he said.
“I know it didn’t and I’m truly sorry. I spoke without thinking.”
“You know the irony of all this? Maddie almost had me convinced you were only upset because you’re a mom and moms have this ingrained fear of their kids getting hurt playing football, but obviously I was right all along. It looks to me that it has more to do with me not being entitled to go with my gut when it comes to parenting Daisy and Mack.”
She frowned. “You discussed this with Maddie?”
“I did,” he said with a hint of defiance. “I wanted another perspective. She and Cal were around when I got to the spa. They have experience with the whole stepparenting thing.”
“Shouldn’t you be talking to me about things like this, rather than our friends?” she asked, aware that she was being unreasonable. Of course, he’d talk to friends and seek advice, especially when they were likely to have worked through similar issues.
“I would have, but you were obviously upset and I didn’t want to make it worse, especially since you were at work. I wanted to understand how I’d been in the wrong.” He shrugged. “Obviously it didn’t help, because Maddie got it wrong. It really is about me being a stepparent.”
He looked her in the eye. “You know, if Ray were still in the picture, this wouldn’t be an issue for me. I’d deal if I thought me acting like a dad was going to muddy the waters between him and the kids. That’s not the case. How do
you
feel about me legally adopting them? The truth, Karen.”
“I guess I haven’t really considered it,” she admitted. “I thought things were okay the way they are. They know you love them.”
“But they also know you’re the real authority figure.”
She frowned at the characterization. “That’s not true. They listen to you.”
“Only when you’re not around. Look, this doesn’t have to happen, but I think it could be important for them to see that I love them as if they were my own. And it might clarify the situation when it comes to who gets to make the decisions or who disciplines them. We’ll do it jointly. This may not matter now when they’re so young, but the teenage years aren’t that far away, at least for Daisy. It could matter then.”
She saw the point he was making. “Jointly is good,” she said at once, knowing that not only was he right, but that she’d been unfair to suggest otherwise. “I know it didn’t come out that way earlier, but that was exactly my point. We need to talk about things and decide together. I’m not talking about whether they get ice cream after school or get a time-out for misbehaving. We have to be in agreement on the big things.”
Elliott nodded. “Like football,” he said.
She nodded. “Like football.”
“Are you going to insist that Mack drop out?” he asked.
As badly as she wanted to do just that—he was only seven, after all—she wouldn’t disappoint her son now that he had his heart set on it. Nor did she want to undercut Elliott’s authority and prove the point he’d just been making about his decisions not counting.
“No, but if he comes home with cuts, bruises or broken bones, watch out,” she warned.
“Duly noted,” he said solemnly.
He came back inside then and pulled her into his arms. “Maybe we’ll get this give-and-take thing down yet.”
She touched his cheek, relaxing for the first time since the argument had begun. “I’m counting on it.”
“And we’ll talk some more about me formally adopting them?” he pressed.
She nodded. She had no idea why she’d been dragging her heels on taking a step that would give her children a greater sense of stability, but she knew deep in her heart that she had. She’d pretended that all those casual mentions had been theoretical because it suited her. She needed to figure out why she’d been reluctant, and then maybe she, Elliott and her children could finally move forward to become a totally united family.
* * *
Karen was surprised a few days later when Raylene tapped on the kitchen door at Sullivan’s, then stepped inside, her expression chagrined.
“I know I promised I’d come by for coffee weeks ago, but my life’s been a circus,” she told Karen. “Is the offer still good?”
“Absolutely,” Karen said. “And you picked a great morning. Erik made the coffee and left to pick up supplies. Dana Sue’s not coming in for another hour.”
She poured them both a cup, then gestured toward a stool beside her workplace. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have prep work to do for lunch. I can talk while I chop, though. What’s been going on that’s kept you so busy?”
“Carter’s been working all sorts of crazy shifts at the police department. Even though he’s Serenity’s chief now, he still takes shifts on the street. His sisters are involved in every single activity at the high school. Guess who gets to drive them there and back and sit in the audience and applaud when they have performances?”
“Quite a change for you from a couple of years ago,” Karen said. “Are you coping okay?”
“Honestly, other than an occasional twinge of panic when I walk out the front door, I’m doing amazingly well with all the commotion. It’s hard to believe there was a time I was too terrified to set foot outside the house.” She shrugged. “It helps that my crazy, abusive ex is finally locked up for a good long time this time.”
“I imagine that must be a huge relief. I don’t know what I’d do if Ray ever got it into his head to wander back to Serenity. Not that he was abusive, but I have a huge amount of unresolved anger at the way he abandoned me to deal with his financial mess.”
“Do you ever hear from him?” Raylene asked. “Does he ever ask about the kids?”
Karen shook her head. “It’s as if they don’t even exist.” She thought of the role Raylene had been expected to step into with Carter’s two younger sisters. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Has it been hard for you to figure out what role you’re supposed to play with Carter’s sisters?”
Raylene’s expression turned thoughtful. “It was hard when we were first seeing each other and didn’t know where our relationship might be going,” she admitted. “I knew Carrie really needed a female influence in her life, but I didn’t want to overstep. It got awkward from time to time.” She grinned. “Now both girls just think of me as a big sister, I think, and Carter and I juggle things together. Maybe if Carter were their dad, rather than their older brother and legal guardian, it would be harder, but we’re all adjusting to how to handle things, even Carter.”
She gave Karen a penetrating look. “Why? Is Elliott having trouble fitting into the role of stepdad?”
“Actually he’s incredible,” Karen admitted. “I’m the one who seems to be having trouble adjusting to having a real partner who will share in the responsibility of raising my kids. Without intending to, I’ve made him feel as if he has no say.”
Raylene frowned. “That’s not good. Any idea why you might be doing that?”
Karen shook her head. “I keep going over it and over it, but I’m at a loss. He even wants to adopt them officially, but I’ve held back.”
“Could it be because you’re still scared of things not working out with Elliott?” Raylene speculated gently. “That might make you cautious about making him a permanent, legal fixture in their lives.”
Karen frowned at the unexpected suggestion. Unfortunately, it sounded all too plausible. After being burned as badly as she had been by Ray, after cleaning up that mess, was she thinking that she didn’t want to have to deal with all the ramifications if she and Elliott didn’t make it?
“I hope not,” she told Raylene. “I want this marriage to work more than anything. It’s not just because I don’t want another failure, either. I know how lucky I am to have found a man like Elliott, who’s decent, kind and loving. Every time we hit a rough patch, though, I do panic, there’s no question about that.”
“Then that could be holding you back,” Raylene said. “But if you think that refusing to let Elliott adopt the kids will protect them from any fallout if you and Elliott were to divorce down the road, you’re fooling yourself. Their lives and emotions are already intertwined. All you’re doing is depriving them of knowing that their stepfather loves them so unconditionally that he wants to make it legal.”
Karen nodded slowly, seeing it all from a different perspective. She might not be quite ready to take that final leap of faith, but she knew she needed to get there, not only for her children’s sake, but for her own.
She’d thought that marrying Elliott proved her commitment, but she saw now that there were more steps needed before she’d be fully invested in her marriage. It was an unexpected discovery and, with their recent share of ups and downs, it couldn’t have come at a worse time.
* * *
Adelia walked into Ernesto’s office at the development company he’d founded with two partners and turned into a regional success despite all of the dire economic forecasts in recent years. She walked right past his secretary, barely sparing her a wave. She could see the protest forming on the older woman’s lips, but she pretended she didn’t.
Ernesto was on the phone when she entered, leaning back in his chair, his expensively clad feet propped on the huge desk she’d helped him choose when she’d decorated his office in a way that would announce his success to any visitors. First impressions, she knew, counted for as much as reality in a new company starting out.
She paced while he finished his conversation, then moved to a leather chair in front of the desk when he hung up.
“This is a surprise,” he said, his expression neutral. “What brings you by?”
“We need to talk,” she announced with the determination she’d been stoking on the drive over here.
“Wouldn’t it be better to have our personal conversations at home?”
“It would be, if you were ever there,” she said. “And if our children weren’t privy to every word. Selena’s already upset enough about what’s going on.”
He frowned at that. “She eavesdrops? What is wrong with that child?”
“Nothing is wrong with her. She’s twelve. She understands that our fighting can’t mean anything good.” She gave him a sharp look. “It doesn’t help that she also knows all about your latest mistress.”
He had the grace to look disconcerted by that. “How? Why would you tell her?” he asked angrily. “Do you want to ruin my relationship with her?”
“I’ve told her nothing. She’s seen you with this woman.” She gave him a scathing look. “What did you expect when you took up with someone just blocks away from our home? Didn’t you know you were likely to get caught, or is that what you were counting on? Were you hoping I’d be so humiliated I’d finally cut you loose?”
He looked taken aback by her strong words. “You’ve always known about the other women. I assumed you understood that was the price for living in that big house and having all your needs met.”
Adelia looked at him, wondering how she could ever have thought herself in love with this insensitive, self-absorbed man. “You truly believe what you’re saying, don’t you? That a big house and a few luxuries make up for being treated like nothing?”