Midnight Thunder(INCR) (17 page)

After all this time, she still loved him to kiss her breasts while he eased his hand under the elastic of her panties and slid his fingers into her moist heat. He'd fumbled that first time, but he didn't fumble now. He knew exactly what she liked and how she liked it.

He used his mouth to greater advantage now, too. He'd learned to nibble and lick his way over and around, teasing her one minute and applying strong suction the next. She quivered. She moaned. And she came, faster than she used to because her body knew what to do and how to react to Cade's brand of loving.

As she trembled in his arms, he lifted her into the truck bed and pulled off the rest of her clothes. He'd become an expert at that. In moments she lay beneath him and welcomed his first powerful thrust.

With a contented sigh, he pushed a little deeper. “I love it here.”

“Our make-out spot?”

“No, here, between your thighs, my belly flat against yours, my cock as far in as it will go. Here where I can feel you breathing and look into your eyes, which are this beautiful combination of brown and green.”

“You can't see that, either.” She wrapped him in her arms and held on. She loved it here, too.

“I can see your eyes anytime I want. I just think about you gazing up at me when we were on the dance floor at prom. No one had ever looked at me like that.”

“I was wildly in love with you.”

He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. “And now?”

“Still wildly in love with you.”

“You do realize you're confusing the hell out of me.”

“I have faith you'll figure it out.”

“I will. I have to. But in the meantime, we have this.” And he began to move.

“Aren't you going to whistle?”

He started laughing, which made for an interesting sexual experience. She'd never had sex with a man who was cracking up. He'd stop pumping every so often and attempt a whistle, but then he'd laugh. Of course so would she.

Finally he paused and took a deep breath. “You have to choose which you want. I can either whistle or I can do you.”

“Then do me.”

“Good choice.” And he proceeded to take them both on an incredible ride that ended well and noisily. Afterward he flopped to his back, gasping for air. “Told you. Screaming orgasm.”

“Okay. I screamed.” She struggled to breathe. “So did you.”

“Nah.”

“Yes.” Smiling, she peered up through the pine branches where stars twinkled like Christmas lights.

After reaching for her hand, he laced his fingers through hers. “We have to practice that whistle thing. I'll bet if I could learn to do it I'd get in the Guinness book of world records.”

“Guaranteed.”

He was silent for several moments. Then he squeezed her hand. “Look, I understand that you won't marry me, but if we're going to keep seeing each other, I have one condition.”

“What's that?”

“I'm the only man who gets this privilege. It may be chauvinistic, but I can't deal with—”

“Done. And back at you.”

He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed each one. “I'm yours, Lexi. Forever and always.”

Her heart stumbled. Those were the words she'd longed to hear five years ago, the words he'd been unwilling to say. He was saying them now. Was she crazy to reject the earnest proposal he'd laid at her feet?

No. Those five years apart had taught her to be true to herself instead of reacting in a way that would please someone else. They'd allowed her to find a purpose other than marrying Cade. He needed space to discover the same thing about himself.

She'd wondered if, when the chips were down, she'd cave because she did love him so very much. Well, she hadn't caved, and she was proud of herself. She'd listened carefully to what he'd said and what he hadn't said.

He was clueless about his future except that he wanted her in it as his wife. In that regard, he viewed his role as that of a benign dictator who would generously
let
her continue to do what she wanted. She hoped he'd evolve beyond that. She would love to see him set a goal he was passionate about. But unless he could do those things, marrying him would be a huge mistake.

 

16

T
HE
NEXT
MORNING
Cade worked alongside everyone else as they spit-shined the house. When they'd finished, they all ended up standing in the living room, as if everyone hated to sit down and dent the recently plumped and vacuumed cushions.

“So that's done,” Finn said. “Now we need groceries.”

“You and Damon are welcome to borrow my truck if you want to head to the store.” Cade hoped they'd take the not-so-subtle hint and leave him alone with Lexi. Her rejection hurt, no matter how many times he told himself everything was okay. Making love to her was the only way he could think of to drown out the negative voices in his head.

“Whoever goes should run by Ben's shop and pick up his preliminary logo sketches.” Lexi held up her phone. “He just texted me that they're done.”

Damon blinked. “And you called him when?”

“About three hours ago. He's been working on them ever since.”

“I have a really good feeling about this project,” Finn said. “Ben's excited, and Chelsea's on fire with ideas and—”

“Tell me about it.” Damon rolled his eyes. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Some. Chels and I tossed around website concepts, and she's going to design one and see how we like it, no charge. If we agree on a logo, we should send it to her.”

“She's being very generous,” Lexi said, “but I think we should offer to pay her for the website design.”

“She figured you'd say that, but she'll settle for food and lodging if she comes for a visit.”

Lexi smiled. “I hope she does. Anyway, let's get those logo printouts before Rosie comes home. I'll bet she'd have fun helping us choose which one we want.”

“I think so, too,” Damon said. “Lexi, maybe you should go with Finn. You're the one who's been in contact with the guy.”

“Yeah, and I'm sure Lexi won't argue about every flippin' thing on the grocery list,” Finn said.

“I argued because you've gone all Pacific Rim on me! I've never once seen anyone on this ranch eat sushi. I was flabbergasted the store even carried it.” Damon turned to Lexi. “Do you eat sushi?”

“Not so much.”

“Cade, how about you?”

“Not my thing.” He was glad to hear Lexi wasn't into it, either.

“See, Mr. Everybody Will Love Sushi?” Damon gave Finn a triumphant glance.

“Okay, okay. But you guys need to try it. I didn't think I'd like it, either, but Chels talked me into eating some and now I love it. I'll get one small tray of California rolls, and everybody can have a piece.”

Damon sighed. “Fine. Go shop for sushi. Meanwhile Cade and me, we'll go muck out some stalls. It's what manly men do.”

“Right.” Cade had no choice but to pretend he was fine with this plan.

Lexi grabbed her purse and started for the door. “Sounds good to me. You two can get all smelly and sweaty while Finn and I roam the grocery store's air-conditioned aisles.”

After they left, Cade walked with Damon to the barn. “Was that on purpose or did it just work out that I lost my bid to have some time with Lexi?”

“A little of both. I did want to ask you something when she wasn't around. Did you talk to her about the idea of you living at the ranch?”

A sharp pain lodged in the vicinity of his heart. “Sort of. Turned out to be a nonissue.”

“How come? I thought that was why you hesitated about making a commitment, so you could discuss it with her first.”

“It was. I asked her to marry me, and she said no.”

“No?” Damon stopped walking and turned to stare at him. “That woman's crazy about you! Why would she turn you down?”

Cade shrugged. “I don't really get it, either.” But he needed to get past the sick feeling in his gut. After all, she'd said she loved him. And she still wanted to have sex.

“Well, color me shocked.” Damon blew out a breath. “Wait a minute. You said she might make you suffer as payback for when you walked away from her. Maybe that's what this is all about. Revenge.”

“I wish I could believe that, but I can't. It was the nicest rejection a guy could have. She still wants to hang out with me. She invited me to spend the night at her apartment.”

“With her in it?”

“Of course with her in it, doofus. What else?”

“I dunno. Maybe she's asking you to housesit when she goes out of town. Water her plants. Feed her fish.”

“No.”

“Well, if I were you I'd clarify that. You don't want her thinking you're some pathetic errand boy.” Damon peered at him. “And wipe that whipped-puppy expression off your face ASAP. I swear you and Finn are perfect examples of why I'll never fall in love if I can possibly avoid it.”

Cade smiled. “Good luck with that.”

“I've dodged the bullet so far. Or the arrow or whatever the delivery system is these days.”

“It feels like you've been struck by lightning.”

“Oh, that's appealing, getting fried with a gazillion watts of power. Sign me up.” Damon shook his head. “Come on, Romeo. Let's shovel some shit.”

It was the perfect activity for Cade's present frame of mind. Filling a wheelbarrow with manure and rolling it out to the pasture was a repetitive yet satisfying task. Sweating and using his muscles felt good.

Not as good as making love to Lexi, but when he was doing that, he wasn't thinking at all. Mucking out stalls allowed him to think. Much as he longed to turn off his brain, that wouldn't help him figure out how to handle this situation.

No matter which way he looked at his relationship with Lexi, he kept coming to the same conclusion. He needed to back off. Sure, he wanted to spend the night at her apartment. They'd never made love in a bed, and he'd give up almost anything to do that. Anything but his self-respect.

Damon had made a good point about not looking or acting like a whipped puppy. Or a lovesick one, either. He'd been concerned about Rosie when he'd first arrived, but once that crisis had begun to resolve, he'd focused almost entirely on getting Lexi back.

Well, he had her back, in a sense. But this time he was the needy one, not her. He didn't like facing that truth, but there it was in all its embarrassing glory.

Her words kept running through his head.
You're where I was five years ago.
But that couldn't be right. He'd grown and matured, which was why he was ready for marriage. The idea of settling down with Lexi didn't scare him anymore. He was eager to be a good husband and, if they had kids, a good father.

Maybe he hadn't been able to pop out an answer to her question about goals and dreams, but he had them. They'd begun forming when he'd set eyes on her after all this time. He wanted to build a life with her in this place where they'd met and fallen in love.

That's not enough.
Maybe not to her, but for him it was huge. He'd been drifting, marking time. He hadn't admitted it to himself then, but he realized it now. Seeing Lexi again had inspired him with a new vision of how things could be.

It would have been so simple if she'd said yes to his proposal. Together they'd figure out where to live so that he could keep track of everything at Thunder Mountain Academy. Maybe Damon would build them a little house that wouldn't cost a whole lot.

But she'd said they weren't ready for marriage. He couldn't imagine being more ready. He wanted her with him, end of story. They got along, and the sex was amazing. How much more did anyone need to be happy, for God's sake?

On his last trip to the pasture with the wheelbarrow, Hematite wandered over to say hello. Cade was touched by that and wished he had a carrot in his pocket. But he had nothing, so he began humming “
Red River Valley”
to see what would happen.

Hematite came closer and stretched his neck to sniff the front of Cade's shirt.

Cade used the tune of “
Red River Valley”
but substituted his own words. “Come and stand by my side if you love me. Do not hasten to leave me alone. Just remember the cowboy who saved you, and the haven you now call your home.” He smiled. Not bad for composing on the fly.

He sang the verse again, and Hematite bumped his chest. When he stroked the horse's neck, the gelding stayed put, as if enjoying the caress. Still singing, Cade walked around so he could lean against Hematite's rib cage. The horse didn't seem to mind. His ears flicked back to indicate he was listening to the song, though, so Cade kept crooning away.

Meanwhile he draped himself all over that animal, putting pressure on various parts of the gelding's body. Hematite remained where he was as if this was normal behavior for both of them. It almost seemed as if the horse had
missed
him.

Maybe he had. At the Circle T, Cade had been a constant presence in Hematite's daily routine. It hadn't been like that recently, though. He'd been too involved with Lexi.

Giving in to an impulse, he gradually maneuvered the horse over to the fence. He propped one foot on the lowest rail and eased his other leg over the gelding's back. Other than a ripple of his glossy coat, Hematite didn't react.

Cade moved slowly, inching his way astride as he continued to sing his bastardized verse of “
Red River Valley
.
”
Hematite had never had a rider on his back, at least not for long. Cade had accustomed him to the saddle, but Thornwood might have ruined all that work.

And yet...Hematite didn't flinch as Cade slowly settled his weight on the gelding's back. He was on, still singing, his thighs loosely gripping, his hand wrapped in a section of the horse's dark mane. He tightened his thigh muscles, and Hematite moved away from the fence.

Cade didn't give a rip where the horse went as long as he didn't start bucking. He didn't. Instead he made a circuit of the pasture as if on parade.

Continuing the song became tough because he wanted to laugh. This goofy horse had never been ridden. Yet to look at him sedately cruising the perimeter with Cade on his back, anyone would think he'd been carrying people around all his adult life.

A flash of color at the gate alerted Cade to the fact that Lexi stood there in her turquoise T-shirt and jeans. She gave him a thumbs-up, and he returned it. Then he figured he'd pushed his luck about as far as it would go and quietly slid to the ground.

Hematite stopped and turned his head to look at Cade as if asking what else this strange human had in mind.

“Nothing more today,” Cade said. “But thanks for the ride, and I'm sorry I've been neglectful.” A wisp of an idea drifted through his mind, but with Lexi standing over there waiting, he was too distracted to concentrate on it.

Yet he vaguely realized that the idea was connected to Hematite in some way, and if he came back out here on a regular basis, he might find some answers. He stroked the horse's silky neck. “We'll do this again tomorrow.” Then he went to fetch his empty wheelbarrow and push it over to the gate.

Lexi opened it and smiled at him. “Red-letter day, huh?”

“Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. I almost felt like he'd missed me.” He rolled the wheelbarrow through the gate.

“I'll bet he did. I'm sure he knows you're the one who took him away from the bad place.” She fastened the latch, and they started toward the barn. “Rosie called. They're on their way.”

“That's terrific. I'm sure both of them can't wait to sleep in their own bed again.” Not surprising he'd think of that. Beds were on his mind today.

“She mentioned that very thing. They've had it with hospitals, although she praised the staff to the skies. But she's ready to come home.”

Cade walked a little faster. “I just might have time to shower and change before they get here.”

“Rosie wouldn't care. She's used to smelly cowboys.”

“Hey! Be nice.”

“I am being nice. I'm used to them, too.”

He responded to that soft comment with a surge of warmth. Only minutes into their conversation and he wanted her. He flashed back to the morning he'd come into the cabin after his shower to find her tucked into his bunk without a stitch on. No wonder he'd neglected his horse after that.

While he thought about sex and how it tended to make him stupid, she continued to talk. He finally started paying attention when she asked him a question.

“Do you think we should wait on the logos?”

“Until when?”

“
Until she seems rested enough to talk about it. She and Herb want to know what we've been up to, but she sounded a little tired on the phone. Going through the discharge process might have worn her out. We don't want to push it her first day back.”

“God, no. Whatever happened to her, we don't want a repeat, and too much excitement could send her right back.”

“That's what Finn and Damon said, too.”

He glanced over at her as they reached the barn. She was so beautiful it made his throat hurt. Sunlight frosted her curls and brought out the rich shades of brown, rust and copper. Her cheeks were tinged with pink. He hoped that came from being close to him, horsey smells and all.

Her breathing seemed unsteady, too. “Of course I'll stay as long as everyone needs me to.”

How about forever?
He didn't say it.

“But I'm guessing Rosie should take a nap at some point. I'll probably head on home then. I need to get back to some of my clients who've texted or emailed.” She took a slip of paper out of her jeans pocket and handed it to him. “Here's my address. You're welcome to come over tonight if you want.”

Oh, he wanted to. He wanted the pleasure she offered so much that it was like ambrosia on his tongue. He had to force the next sentence out. “Thanks, but I'm going to hang around here.”