Midnight's Song (25 page)

“Why are you
here?”
My mother sobbed in disbelief, her
mother’s hand still gently stroking her cheeks.

“
I had to see you again,”
she softly
told her in reply, the tears coming from her eyes as well. At that
moment something struck my mother in all of her sadness, and it was
something that caused her to pull back and
stiffen.

“
Are you here to tell me that I shouldn’t do this?”
My mother asked her reluctantly through the
sobbing, her words becoming even more defensive as she continued
on. “
You know I love him – and it’s
already done! This may not be the wedding you’ve always wanted for
me, but I’m not coming home! I cannot go back now, and you know the
law is the law! I’m not allowed to come back once I’ve left my
caste –”

“Shh…”
My grandmother hushed. “
I’m not here to take you home.”

“Then why are you
here?”
My mother asked, half laughing
through all of the sobbing. “
It’s not safe
for you to see me now –”

“Rose, HUSH!”
Grandmamma interrupted in a harsh whisper. She
quickly put a finger to her daughter’s lips and her own.
“
Don’t argue with me today. You were
always an argumentative child. But listen to me! Never lose that
fire. Especially not now. Not with this life that you’re about to
step into.”

Grandmamma paused for a moment, and
she and my mother exchanged a silent nod as she stepped backwards
for a moment to reach into her pocket. She took something out of
her pocket and placed it in my mother’s hand. It was a string of
delicate, shimmering pearls; all as white as snow.

“
No, Mother. I can’t,”
my mother
shook. She had already done so much to her family, why take one
more thing? But, my grandmother again hushed her.

“
Nonsense! Every bride must wear pearls on her wedding
day.”

My grandmother took the pearls from
the palm of my mother’s hand and moved behind my mother swiftly
before she gently clasped them around her neck. My mother didn’t
move another muscle as Grandmamma took her plain white skirt and
fluffed it out in a more elegant manner. It was a far cry from what
Abilene had imagined for her daughter’s wedding day, but she still
lovingly smoothed out the crinkles on the dress all the same. This
was all she was allowed to have since she was leaving her wealthy
caste for this lowly one. She wasn’t allowed to take anything with
her, not even for the wedding.

That’s what made this act so
beautiful. It made these pearls a symbol of the love that neither
of the women knew they could ever lose or leave behind, not even
with every law in the kingdom bearing down on them. But, along with
this heartfelt gesture – there was also danger. No one could know
that they had seen each other today; and the fact that these pearls
were now sitting on my mother’s neck needed to be kept quiet. They
both eyed each other as Mum now stood staring at her reflection in
the mirror, the pearls lining her neck and making her a decorated
bride even while wearing the plainest of dresses.

“
You will always be my child,”
Grandmamma whispered. “
I don’t care
about the law. Rich or poor – I will never stop loving
you.”

The music on the church
organ began to carry audibly from the other room and the mother and
daughter exchanged bittersweet parting glances before each putting
a finger to their lips to signify that they both knew never to
speak of this moment again. An attendant knocked on the door to see
if my mother was ready, and my grandmother placed a kiss on my
mother’s head before retracting back into the dark part of the room
and listening to the organ music continue to carry loudly from the
other room.

Before the attendant closed the door,
Mum looked back into the room once more; the pearls causing her to
have a radiant, beautiful glow. She turned her head again and
continued on a straight path to the chapel. The door quickly
closed, and Lady Abilene bit her lip as she fell to the ground,
silently grieving while she could only faintly listen to her
daughter say her vows. This was where the scene seemed to
end.

The story continued, but the
beautiful, time-travelling portrait it had painted for my senses
was beginning to fade. The shabby, worn walls of the church began
to transform back into that of the Devereaux Manor. The cobwebbed
rafters morphed back into the towering ceilings and bright,
scrolling molding that lined each wall. The light that had been
seeping through the space between each of the old, wooden blinds
covering the windows became that of a single flickering lamp at
Grandmamma’s bedside. The music of the organ faded back into the
words being uttered from Lady Abilene’s lips, and now I was
home.

“Although I felt as if that was the
last time I would see my daughter, she came to see me the next
day.” She explained. “The pearls had been noticed after the
wedding. She knew that if she wanted to keep our meeting a secret
she couldn’t keep them. When she came, we didn’t utter a single
word; but her eyes said everything. She handed them back to me
silently, turned and left. That was the last I saw of your
mother.”

When she finished speaking, my heart
was churning within me. The tears were now coming down my face
uncontrollably, but Grandmamma had told the story with a strange
calmness. It was as if she’d never told another soul – yet she’d
thought about it so much that it didn’t cause her pain any
longer.

“You never gave up after that, did
you?” I reveled in astonishment, but Grandmamma didn’t say a single
word.

She didn’t need to; her eyes said
everything. They told an entire story of perilous searching and
treacherous defiance of the rule of her country. Somehow though,
fate had still allowed for her to grasp a small part of the child
she had been seeking after so earnestly before her last day. At
that moment, my grandmother did something unexpected. She sat up
and reached for the little drawer in her bedside table. She pulled
out an old photograph, worn from what looked to be years of abuse;
the edges having apparently been burned. She opened her mouth to
speak once again as she handed it to me.

“I’ve been hiding this picture ever
since that day. I’ve treasured it more than any other earthly
possession. It’s been through more than any picture could honestly
handle. I’ve had to smuggle it at the bottom of heavy loads, store
it in hot attics and wet basements when our house has been searched
by the Imperial Guards – it’s even survived a fire! But, the Lord
knows how much it means to me. I suppose that’s why he’s allowed it
to remain intact this long.”

It was a picture of my mother on that
one, forbidden day. She was holding a bouquet and smiling as the
string of glimmering pearls lined her neck. A wreath of flowers had
been placed jubilantly on top of her head by joyous townspeople.
They all gathered around her throwing leaves and petals into the
air from every corner of the street. Yet, amidst all of the joyful
laughter and singing of the townspeople; my grandmother was nowhere
to be found.

That was when I finally understood. I
understood her grief, and now I felt it too. But, now I didn’t
understand why she was telling me this all at once. This mixture of
emotions was now searing through me like a knife, and I could only
think of the bleak void in my heart I had over the absence of the
bride in this picture.

“Why are you showing
me now?” I asked her in tears, the subject suddenly shifting as the
anger began to bubble up inside. “If I’ve been hidden away for all
of these years, why are you forcing me carry all of the family’s
burdens to the Magistrate? He could
kill
us!
All of your ‘protection’ will have
been for nothing!”

“I know, child. I know,” she softly
told me, still maintaining an impossible level of calmness. “I
never anticipated that things would unfold the way that they did. I
had to take every day as it came –”

“What didn’t you
anticipate? What was there
to
anticipate? That I would be so foolish, that I
would be so…
indecisive?”
I angrily interrupted, turning away from her and
hiding my face in my hands. She gently reached out and settled her
hand in my back.

“No, darling. I knew
that there was no way to anticipate what would happen with you,
that’s why I had to do everything that I could as new events
unraveled. The thing that I didn’t anticipate was the fact that you
would be so exceptionally
strong.
If I could do it differently, I would – but now
you must learn to stand on your own.” She paused for a moment. I
slowly turned back toward her.

“I’m sorry, Grandmamma,” I told her in
tears. It was all I knew to say at that point. She didn’t say
anything more, but she gazed at me in a way that unleashed the most
whirling emotions in my heart. Soon, she told me to stand
up.

“Go to my bedroom drawer,” Grandmamma
suddenly ordered.

My mind still
whirling, I obeyed. I walked to the drawer that she had instructed
me to open and wrapped my fingers around the knobs. As I pulled it
open I was immediately met with the distinct sound of
rolling
. Slow motion
seemed to ensue as I reached my hand into the hallow box that was
all but empty except for a single priceless object that I took into
my hands. It was a delicate pearl necklace, pure white as if it had
been birthed and refined only a day ago.

“Is this…” I started in disbelief,
cradling the precious relic in my hands before trailing off into
the world of all things glorious and bittersweet.

“Yes, and now it’s yours,” Grandmamma
quickly replied, motioning for me to return to her side. “Treasure
it, and never allow Beeti to find out what this necklace means. I
love my daughter, but she is undeniably greedy. When I’m gone she
would surely try to take it. Even if you choose to leave, never let
it go.”

I couldn’t find the words to say as
the wise old woman proceeded to clasp the string of pearls around
my neck. When all was said and done, I turned and looked into the
mirror breathlessly. These pearls were a remnant of my mother, and
now they were on me! At 17 years old, I looked at myself and for
the first time saw the reflection of my mother. All of this time,
I’d denied that I could have looked anything like her! Now I could
finally see what I had been denying all of this time. It wasn’t
something like petty hair color or the tone of my skin that people
were seeing – it was the fire I carried in my heart.

“You look beautiful, just like she
did. Now take them and go.”

In unison with her last word, I heard
the musicians begin to tune their instruments downstairs. They
would soon begin their infernally monotonous playing as the guests
arrived over the course of the next two hours. Soon there was a
knock on the door and Wren quickly pushed it open and let me know
that it was time to get ready. Stella stood beside her,
artificially beaming.

“Oh, dearest cousin!
I am so excited for the party! Seeing that old Emily is gone I’ve
taken the liberty of being your ‘stylist’ tonight. Though, Wren
still insists on leaving me out of your costume choices. It’ll
still be fun all the same. Just a bit of ‘girl time’ before we get
going!” Stella superficially chimed. “You’re going to look
absolutely…
beautiful
.”

I momentarily huffed at the thought of
having to let Stella even partially designate what I was wearing
over my (only) trusted styling aid. But, I trusted Wren at least. I
was sure that even in Emily’s strange absence we’d figure something
out all the same.

“I suppose it’s time for the baths,” I
let out a breathy laugh, rising back up from where I was
kneeling.

I got up and left the room, turning
once more to glance at Grandmamma before closing the door. We
exchanged glances, and I saw her let out a smile. I knew the person
that she must have seen when I glanced back over my shoulder at her
in that moment, and it wasn’t really me. I saw her joy for a
moment, that glimmer of hope in her eyes as she was reminded of the
fact that one day she would see her daughter in the flesh once
again.

After that, the door quickly swung
shut.

“Here,” Wren softly told
me after I had been scrubbed to a pulp in the baths that night. “If
you’re going to be a butterfly, a little bit of glitter on the
cheeks never hurt anything.”

She dipped her hand into a jar of
sparkling blue glitter and gently rubbed the flecks over the top of
my cheekbones. When she rubbed them over the half that had been
imprinted upon earlier from the time spent sleeping on the corner
of my library book, I winced. The mark was gone, but the skin was
still irritated. Each of the gritty flecks scratched it and caused
callous burning. Ironically enough, this was the first object
tonight that would cause me such discomfort. I had survived
Stella’s beauty treatments and nail polishing in the bathhouse,
expecting at every moment to be venomously burned or disfigured.
Somehow, it was a fate that fortunately didn’t come.