Milk Money (17 page)

After much prayer, thought, and deliberation, Emily decided to accept Frank’s gift. The day she deposited the funds, she fell on her knees, saying a prayer to God.

As the months passed following Frank’s departure, Emily found that her thoughts of Frank continued to haunt her. He e-mailed her a few times, and she knew his father had eventually died. She’d wanted to call him, but she wasn’t sure if he wanted to speak with her. She moped about the house, did farm chores, and helped their hired workers harvest the corn. Kelly and Christine came over often, and they called periodically, but her friends couldn’t cheer her up. One day after church in November, Emily and her stepmother went downtown for a lazy afternoon. They stopped at the Baltimore Cupcake Company for a snack. Both of them chose chocolate truffle cupcakes with beautiful floral-patterned icing to go with their cups of Café du Monde.

They sat at a table, and the brilliant sunlight spilled into the space as they ate their treat. When Emily finished her cupcake, she was almost tempted to lick the stray icing from her fingers. “I wish I could have another one.”

Laura gave her a mischievous grin. “Why don’t we get another?”

“Mom!” Emily patted her hips. “I don’t need the extra calories.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re so thin, and you’re always out there doing farm chores. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Feeling naughty, Emily complied and returned to the counter, purchasing them vanilla truffle cupcakes. Once they had finished their second round of cupcakes, Emily sipped her coffee. “Are you glad to be back in Monkton?” she asked Laura.

Laura shrugged. “I miss your father. But it is nice to be back and into a routine again. I like working at the school cafeteria and seeing the kids every day.” A wistful look crossed her face as she stirred her coffee.

“Mom, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting like something’s been on your mind since you returned from Becky’s.”

Laura shrugged. “It’s nothing I feel like talking about right now.”

Emily tasted another bite of cupcake, figuring Laura would tell her what was on her mind when she was ready. She gazed at the street, thinking about Frank and the last words they’d exchanged before he left for Chicago.

“You’re thinking of Frank, aren’t you?” asked her stepmother, sipping her coffee.

Emily placed her cup on the table. “How did you know?”

“I can always tell when you’re thinking about him.” They sat in silence for a few moments, watching the cars pass by on the street.

“I was just thinking about how I got to know him while he was here.” She told Laura about the close bond he shared with his nephew and about how he used to mentor teens at the rec center in Chicago. Emily thought he’d make a great father but didn’t want to voice that opinion. If she dwelled on that too much, it would just make her long for something that might never happen.

“You know, you’ve been through a lot lately.”

Emily shrugged, sipping her hot drink. “I guess so.”

“I have a suggestion to make.”

“What’s that?”

“I wondered if you wanted to go and visit your cousin Monica in Ocean City for a week.”

“But what about the farm?”

“I’ve already spoken to some people, and we have enough extra help so that you can go on a vacation. You need it. When I was in Florida following Paul’s death, it did wonders for my mental health.”

“I don’t know.” She kind of found some solace just spending time with the animals each day.

Her stepmother touched her hand. “You’ve been moody lately, and I know Frank really hurt your feelings when he left. I think a change in scenery may help you out of your mood.”

When Emily finished her coffee, she told Laura she would call and check with Monica. If she said it was okay, she’d take her vacation the following week. Maybe the change in scenery was what she needed.

The following week, Emily arrived at her cousin’s house. Monica and her husband, John, welcomed her into their home. She also got a chance to visit with Monica’s sister, Gina, and Scotty, Gina’s blind nine-year-old son. The child read a lot of braille books and magazines, and Monica confided how Scotty’s educational needs were what brought her together with John. She’d explained that John was Scotty’s tutor, and that was how they’d met.

One day, following a fun-filled Saturday of sightseeing in Ocean City, they returned to Monica’s house for dinner. “I’m going to start the oven,” said John, kissing Monica’s cheek before heading into the kitchen. He was making lasagna for their meal while Monica visited with Emily in the living room.

“John is very affectionate toward you,” Emily commented.

Monica chuckled. “Yes, he is. I just never thought I’d fall so deeply in love.”

“I’m sorry I missed your wedding last year. Dad had the flu, and I had to stay and take care of the farm.”

Monica smiled. “That’s okay.” She stood and walked to the other side of the room, opening an oak cabinet and removing a large leather book. “Here are our wedding pictures.”

Emily admired the photos. “These are beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Once she had looked at all the pictures, Monica told Emily some news. “I’m pregnant.”

Emily’s heart filled with joy. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope! We can hardly wait.”

She hugged her cousin. “I’m so happy for both of you; I really am.” When they broke their embrace, tears slipped from Emily’s eyes, and Monica handed her a tissue.

She touched Emily’s shoulder. “Cousin, why are you so sad?”

Emily wondered if Monica would truly understand her problems, but she had to tell Monica all that had happened since her father’s death. “I just can’t believe my father was a gambler.” She told her about Frank, his drinking, his salvation, and his sudden disappearance from her life. “He’s e-mailed me a few times, but I miss him like crazy.”

“Why do you like him so much?” Monica asked.

“He’s kind, he’s caring, he’s conscientious, and I like being with him. I like being around him. I hated his drinking, and the fact that he was unsaved really bothered me. Now that he’s saved, I’d hoped we could work things out. But it looks like I was wrong. I just wish he wasn’t afraid of turning into an alcoholic again, but I can’t make his desire to drink go away.”

“Does he still talk to you? Other than the e-mails?”

“He doesn’t call me, but he is in Chicago right now, and I know his father died. We don’t have constant contact, just an occasional e-mail.”

“Have you thought about calling him?”

“No. I sense he doesn’t want to talk to me.” Another thought occurred to her. “You know, maybe he doesn’t like me very much.”

“He offered to save your farm for you. I think he likes you a lot, but he’s working through his issues right now.” She shook her head. “No. There’s no hope for us.”

“Girl, where’s your faith? If the Lord allowed John and me to be together, then I know there’s hope for you and Frank.”

“What do you mean?”

Monica gazed at the photo album. “John was an agnostic.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. He didn’t even know if he believed God existed. When he first started tutoring my nephew, we shared an instant attraction, but I knew there was no hope for us because of his beliefs.”

“But he accepted Jesus,” Emily guessed.

“He sure did. So, since God saw fit to bring John and I together, then He might see fit to bring you together with Frank.”

“I just wish I could get Frank off my mind.”

“Are you involved in any of the ministries at your church?” Emily told her about the outreach ministry. “Is there a singles group at your church?”

“There’s one that just started shortly after Frank left. Kelly, Christine, and I joined, but I just haven’t felt like going to the meetings. Why do you ask?”

“It might be more fun and fulfilling to hang out with other Christian singles. I remember when I was in the singles group at my church a long time ago, I never met anybody to date, but I had a good time. We’d have fun and fellowship time, and we’d go bowling, out to dinner, out to the movies.” Monica shrugged. “It was fun, and it gave me something to do. Also, what do you like to do in your spare time besides work on your dairy farm?”

“Years ago I used to read novels, but it’s something I just stopped doing.”

“Well, why don’t you start doing that again? If I recall, during the winter you don’t have as much to do on your farm as you do during the summer months since you’re not harvesting any crops or baling hay. If you’re worried about spending a lot of money on books, you could always go to the library or a used book store.”

“So you’re saying that I need to keep myself busy and not worry about Frank so much?”

“Exactly. I certainly can’t predict if he’ll come back, but if it’s the Lord’s will, then Frank will come sweeping back to Monkton to be with you again. But if he doesn’t come back, at least you’ll be so occupied with your new activities that you’ll barely notice. When I was pining after a man, another thing I did was get more acquainted with God. Why don’t you try reading some more of the Word and focusing on God? I know it’d help.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

Monica touched Emily’s shoulder. “By no means is it easy. I’m not saying doing all these things will make Frank disappear from your mind, but it might help. I can honestly say that I know how you feel, but you just have to take it one day at a time and try and focus on yourself and God until you find out what Frank’s going to do.”

Emily pondered Monica’s words for the rest of the evening.

“Would you like another soda?” Cameron Jacobs held Emily’s hand, leading her to their seats at the spring gospel concert. People milled about, trying to find their seats in the arena as several waited near the stage, eager for the performance to start.

“I’m fine, Cameron.” She put her cold soda aside, no longer thirsty.

Emily continued to think about Frank periodically and wondered why he had only e-mailed her briefly a few times. She still clung to Monica’s hope that Frank would find help for his issues and return to Baltimore County; however, as time passed, her prayers remained unanswered, and she wondered if maybe the Lord was nudging her to let go of her fantasy of being with Frank.

During the holiday season a few months ago, she’d mailed him a Christmas card. She’d hoped and prayed for a response, but she had only received Frank’s silence.

She gazed around the arena. The gospel concert was one of her favorite yearly events. This year, however, the festive music failed to lift her spirits. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair.

“I like your new haircut, Emily. It looks good on you.”

Emily smiled her thanks to Cameron, although “new” wouldn’t describe her haircut. A short time after her visit to Monica, she felt the weight of her long, dark hair to be too much to handle. She’d visited her hairdresser and asked for a short, snazzy cut.

The band warmed up, and Emily thought about the last four months of her life—about how she ended up coming to this gospel concert with Cameron.

Weeks following her visit with Monica, Cameron had asked her out yet again, so she finally relented and went out with the man. He was a person of strong faith, and she wondered if the Lord was trying to tell her that Cameron was the man she should pursue.

This was their fifth date, and so far Emily felt nothing for Cameron except feelings of friendship. He barely crossed her mind throughout her day, and he didn’t haunt her dreams, unlike Frank.

“Emily!” Emily snapped out of her reverie, gazing at Cameron’s confused expression. “The concert is over.”

“Oh, sorry.” She smiled and stood, gathering her coat. Cameron helped her with her garment, and she watched several other members of the audience retrieve their things as they headed to the large parking lot.

They drove home in silence. Emily gazed at the brightly lit windows of the stores downtown. Huddling into her coat, she was eager to return home and finish reading the Christian cozy mystery novel she’d started earlier that week. When Cameron pulled into the lot, she noticed another car in her driveway.

“Are you and your mother expecting company tonight?”

Emily frowned at the unfamiliar car. “I don’t think so. But sometimes people from the church will drop by and visit.” She remained silent when Cameron rushed out of the car and opened her door for her.

He walked her to the bottom of her porch. Emily sensed from the eager expression on Cameron’s face that he was anticipating a good night kiss or an invitation inside for a piece of Laura’s apple pie. She quickly bid him good night and turned away, not even giving him a chance to kiss her.

He stopped her with a question. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

She turned toward him again. “I think you’re a nice man.”

“Nice? You don’t like me the way you liked that accountant that used to work out here. I saw the way you used to look at him in church.”

Emily didn’t want to hurt Cameron’s feelings. “I think you’re a strong, good man, and I admire your faith in God.”

His shoulders drooped. “I won’t ask you out anymore, Emily. I feel like I’m wasting my time.”