Mina's Heart (14 page)

“Bullshit. If this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to be honest. From the beginning. You’re not getting off to a good start.” Russ Burke regarded Ever fiercely. Ever struggled not to squirm.

“Don’t worry. I have it under control. She’s skittish. I mentioned spanking a few times and freaked her out. She needs me to ease her into it slowly.” His face was growing warm. He hated being put in this position. He was twenty-five, for Christ’s sake. He didn’t like being second-guessed by anyone, much less his father, a man he’d spent his life idolizing.

Russ shook his head. “You need to talk to her, have an honest, open conversation. She’s an intelligent woman. She won’t appreciate this approach. It borders on condescending, and it’s dishonest. You know where I stand on respect and honesty. Believe me when I say that if you don’t drive her away like this, you’re going to do irrevocable damage to the trust you’re trying to build. No relationship can survive without trust, especially a D/s one.”

She loved him. She’d uttered those sweet words hours before. Love would see them through a few difficult conversations. “She’s submissive. I know she is. But she doesn’t know she is. She can’t embrace what she hasn’t identified.”

And he knew the concept would terrify her. Mina had a huge fear of having a man, even one who loved her with his whole heart and soul, in control of her life. He wanted her to feel comfortable and secure in his domination before he put the words to their actions.

But his father wasn’t finished. “She’s petite, not weak. Don’t underestimate the power of a strong woman, especially when she finds out you’ve lied to her. Damn it. Some things can’t be undone.”

“I’m not lying to her. I’m waiting for the right time to have that conversation.” He lifted his gaze and nailed his father with all the conviction in his heart. “I will tell her when the time is right. You don’t know her like I do. She’s stubborn, and she’s still a little afraid of me.” It was the reason he hadn’t consummated their love, even though she’d put on one hell of a campaign to test his will.

“Women can always sense when they’re being lied to.”

He shrugged his father’s hand from his shoulder. “I haven’t lied to her. I would never lie to her. I just can’t take the chance of timing this wrong and losing her.”

Angry, and more than a little hurt by his father’s lack of faith in his judgment, Ever stalked away. Each step closer to Mina drained the negative effects of the confrontation with his dad, and he focused on finding the woman who owned him, heart and soul.

* * * *

The day flew. Extended family and friends welcomed her heartily, and whenever she tried to check on her mother, she found Jin Ae animatedly conversing with people from town and from Ever’s family. Her plan to lure her mother to sunny California had definitely failed, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to be unhappy about that. Perhaps this was the way things were meant to be. The universe’s grand plan for her didn’t involve leaving the town where she’d grown up.

Still, it was a little deflating to think about not being able to find a job nearby.

Her mother left the party before she did. Jin Ae no longer asked Mina what time she planned to be home. It was generally accepted that if she wasn’t there by nine, she would be staying at Ever’s apartment.

After the party ended, Ever held her hand as he drove her to his place. “Your mom and my mom really hit it off.”

“They did, didn’t they?” Remembering the way her mother’s eyes seemed to glow the entire day, she smiled softly. “I’m glad. My mom needs friends.”

Ever gave her a quick look, a slight furrow to his brow. “Your family isn’t known for being very social. This isn’t the first time my parents have invited your parents over for an event. It’s just the first time anybody came.”

That was news to Mina, but it didn’t surprise her. “I never knew. My father didn’t like to go places.” Her mother probably hadn’t known about the invitations either.

“What happened to your father?”

It was a valid question. She never talked about her father. This might have been the first time she’d brought him up. “When my mother divorced him, he moved back to where he grew up, somewhere near Cleveland.”

“You don’t talk to him?” Ever asked the question slowly. He had to know he was digging in sensitive territory.

“No. We weren’t close.”

“Why?”

She sighed. “He was a hard man to know. I don’t really want to talk about him. He’s gone, and I’m glad he’s gone.”

He glanced over at her, a movement she caught from the corner of her eye. She didn’t turn her head, because she didn’t want to have the conversation. Talking about him like he was a past event made the chains of the past feel a little less restrictive. Ever seemed to get the message, because he dropped the subject.

Jolo meowed insistently at them as soon as they arrived at Ever’s apartment. She rubbed her face against Ever’s leg, purring, and then she marked Mina the same way. The kitten was almost full-size now. She’d filled out, and her soft fur had grown much longer.

Ever lifted her smoothly and deposited her across his broad shoulders. The feline lay down, her front paws flexing as loud, rumbling purrs erupted from her throat.

Mina smiled, marveling at this gentle man. “You sure do know how to make a lady happy.”

He grinned, probably at her unintended double entendre. “I hope so.”

He headed to the kitchen, where he filled Jolo’s feed bowl and brushed her while she ate. Sounds of contentment continued to pour from the kitten. Mina watched for a minute, wondering at his patient enjoyment of his pet. She’d always wanted a dog, some kind of companion that could hang out with her and listen as she shared her innermost thoughts. Part of her still longed for that kind of relationship, one based on blind trust and absolute loyalty. Another part of her stepped away in abject horror. She’d never even confided in a diary. How could she trust a pet or a lover?

Ever was many things to her, but he hadn’t reached confidant status. She’d blurted out the three magic words earlier, and he’d returned the sentiment. But over the course of the day, she’d realized that nothing had changed. While hearing that he had deep feelings for her made her giddy inside, it didn’t make her feel closer to him. She felt no urge to tell him about her father or share the misery of her job search with him, though she knew she should.

Somehow, telling him those things would soil the purity of their relationship. Ever took great pains to make sure she was happy. He took care of her. He cherished her. He elevated her to a status she didn’t deserve. Being a virgin didn’t mean she’d waited for him in particular. It meant that nobody had struck her fancy until now.

She disappeared into the bathroom to brush her teeth and change for bed. It was late, and Ever had to get up in the morning for work. He and a colleague named Isla were scheduled to depart for Nebraska to set up a wish. Mina wasn’t too sure about the kinds of wishes they fulfilled. She just knew they didn’t deal with children or people suffering from life-threatening illnesses. Ever didn’t talk about it too much, citing confidentiality agreements.

Perhaps it reflected badly on her that she didn’t press him to talk more about what he did. Every time she thought about it, she backed away from the subject because she knew she would just end up feeling jealous that he had a job he liked while she couldn’t seem to land a second interview unless she was willing to leave the state.

The night was warm, and Ever threw off amazing amounts of body heat, so she opted to sleep in a soft tank top and underwear. Ever came in while she was turning back the covers. He paused a few feet inside the doorway. She felt his gaze roaming her body, and she looked up to gauge the extent of his desire.

He almost never wanted to go right to sleep, but he wasn’t looking at her as if he wanted to devour her. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and his somber expression made her tense. Ever had something to say. She waited, but he didn’t speak.

“Ever? Is everything okay?”

His response was curious. He seemed to nod and shake his head at the same time. Then he pulled his hands from his pockets and folded them across his chest.

Mina abandoned the covers and rounded the bed, crossing to stand in front of him. She touched his wrist lightly. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

The expression on his face changed, softening as whatever worrisome thoughts had plagued him fled. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “Nothing’s wrong, honey. With you in my arms, everything is stunningly right.”

Though he spoke sweetly, tension stiffened the lines of his body, making his muscles even harder and more prominent against her. Something was different about the way he held her, as if a war was brewing inside him.

He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. It wasn’t a kiss as much as a warning, and Mina’s heart surged at the inherent promise. Ever was finally going to make love to her. He’d arrived at his decision. That explained the difference in his demeanor.

He cupped her face in his hands, skimming his fingertips over her cheeks before plunging them into her hair. In the gravity of the moment, her breath caught. He repeated the warning, sweeping his lips over her eyelids, her brow, and her cheeks.

“Ever.” She whispered his name, a reverent plea.

“I’m a demanding lover.” He traced her lower lip with the pad of his thumb. His ethereal gaze followed the path. “Possessive and controlling. Dominant. I can’t change who I am, Mina. You must promise to use your safe word if I hurt you or it’s just too much. And tell me when you’re afraid.”

She wasn’t afraid of losing her virginity. In fact, she relished the idea. It was high time to get rid of that little inconvenience. She didn’t think it would hurt. Ever had fingered her almost daily, and he approached oral sex like a junkie getting a fix. Though his cock was larger than the two or three fingers he usually used, she was more than ready to accommodate him.

After feathering her fingers over his jaw, she cupped his face the way he held hers. “I’m not afraid, Ever. I want very much for you to make love to me.”

“Tell me your safe word.”

“Oasis.” No hesitation on her part, though she didn’t see a need for a safe word. But if it made him feel better, then she would acknowledge it.

He closed his mouth over hers and devoured her with a kiss that made everything previous seem like lighthearted fun. The force of it immobilized her, and she understood a little why he’d voiced his warning. Ever had a reputation for being fun and laid-back. Though he’d been forceful when they’d played, he hadn’t completely obliterated her concept of individuality.

This kiss made her feel like she was weightless and spinning, no longer an entity unto herself. At the same time, she felt heavy and grounded, an extension of him. He didn’t bother with anything gentle or teasing. He explored her mouth with his tongue as if he was just confirming his territory. She’d never felt so overpowered before, and she had no choice but to let herself drown.

Then he broke the kiss and took a step back. She went to follow him, but he stopped her with the pressure of his fingertips on her stomach.

“Don’t move, love.” His eyes smoldered with patient danger.

He slid his hand around her midsection, keeping contact as he circled her body. He paused at her back with his hands on her waist. Slowly, he slipped them under her tank top and lifted it. The warmth of his hands brought chills to her flesh as he exposed her.

She’d been naked in front of him many times, but this seemed like the first time. Trembling, she struggled to stay still. She wanted to lean back until she felt the solid length of his chest, except she knew he needed to do this on his terms. Because she loved him, she could accept that condition.

He drew the shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor. Its gentle breeze fluttered down her leg. Never had throwing laundry on the floor felt so sensuous.

Pressing his palms flat, he roamed the exposed skin of her back, stomach, and breasts. He returned to them again and again, cupping them in his large hands and rolling her nipples until she mewed.

He wove a spell with the patterns and pressures of his endless caress. When he slipped his fingers into her pussy, she gasped and looked down. He’d removed her panties, and she hadn’t noticed. He held her against his body, her back to his chest. She wanted to see him, touch him, taste him, but he didn’t offer that option.

“You’re so very wet, my love.”

“I want to touch you.” Her voice came out sounding breathy. She hadn’t moved, but she was winded.

He played her clit expertly with one hand and grasped her chin with his other one. Turning her face to the side, he leaned down and kissed her tenderly. It was sweet and hot, and it set molten sensations free to riot through her body. Some of the tension of the day gathered in a tight ball. It coalesced, and she exploded when he released her lips.

“You’ll get your wish eventually, honey, just not now.” Withdrawing his arms from around her body, he stepped back. “Thank you for turning back the covers. Lie in the center of the bed, faceup.”

Mina started and turned to stare at him. It wasn’t a new order. He frequently liked to tie her arms down when he ate her pussy. The light bondage thrilled her to no end, but she didn’t expect him to bind her for their first time together.

He met her stare head-on, a stoic expression on his face as he waited for her to say or do something.

“You’re going to tie me up?”

A slow smile spread his lips. “No, love. Not your first time. I’m just going to cuff your wrists and ankles.”

In her world, that fit the definition of tying her up. She blinked at his patient explanation. Then she took a breath and turned toward the bed. He’d maintained for months that her first time should be memorable and special. She thought he’d meant for his presence to make for those conditions. It looked like he’d spent his time developing an elaborate plan. He was very good at planning. It was worthwhile to see how this would play out.

“All right.”