It was hopeless. "Tocco," I said, "I don't know anything anymore."
He corrected me. "You have never known anything, and for the first time you realize it. I pray that you don't forget it too often."
I was trying to elicit something from him, some word, some clue, but he remained impassive. I searched his face for some indication of his thought or feeling, and finally he said, "Michael, I have said all that I can say to you. You have had all the experience you need, and you have awakened enough to keep you from going into blind alleys for extended periods of time. And now, since you don't know anything, everything will be new. Begin with where you are and start learning." He heaved himself out of his chair and made as if to go. "I may not see you for a while," he continued. "I have other areas of concern which demand my presence." He took my hand, then concluded: "What you are looking for, you already have." Then he turned and walked swiftly out of the room, leaving me bewildered and confused, but with a curious feeling of hope.
SEVENTEEN
IT WAS A small, dark room. Overhead a tiny red bulb threw the only light, a kind of musty shadowy glow. There was a double bed against one wall, a closet in the corner, and a small night table by the bed. We filed in silently and stood around for a moment in slight confusion. There was nothing else to do, so we took our clothes off.
Scotty was naked first. He stood a little over six feet tall, and his rich black skin glimmered in the red light. He had a wide face and large soft lips. Above them was a gentle mustache. Ellen took off her pants and turned to face us. Her thin mouth flickered around the edges of a smile. Her hard dancer's body stood erect and proud. She had small breasts with thick brown nipples. Her ass rode high and very round, white and covered with an almost invisible down. Next to her, Scotty arranged several joints and a folded paper of cocaine on the table.
Susan was next to stand nude, her gold hair flowing loose around her shoulders. She seemed all breasts and thighs, her tits hanging in rich fullness and her legs heavy and lush. Her naked cunt hung down. I took off my shirt and moved to stand next to them.
For a moment everything was poised at the edge. Then, in unison, we stepped forward and huddled together. We put our arms around one another's shoulders and leaned toward the center. And suddenly, it felt as though we were one person. Scotty began to sway from side to side, and his motion spread to the rest of us. I could feel the mingled breaths envelop us. On either side, Susan's and Ellen's thighs pressed against my legs. I ran my hands down, and cupped each of their asses in my palms. Electricity ran up into my shoulders. In front of me, Scotty's cock became hard and rubbed into my belly. I raised my face up and found his lips.
Our hands began to move all at once, while our bodies rolled and thrust into each other. We began to separate, and I found myself sinking down to plant my mouth on Ellen's breast. I was able to cover it entirely and sucked at it hard. I licked her nipple. Little shudders went through her and her knees buckled slightly. Scotty was down on Susan's breasts, licking the deep space between them, pinching each nipple with his thumb and forefinger. She let out low small moans.
I placed one hand between Ellen's legs and reached up under her cunt to grab her by the middle of her crotch. She leaned into it, and my thumb began to inch its way into her dry cunt. I moved it very slowly and soon I could feel the moisture began to form, to lubricate the slot. I groped out and found my other hand slipping between Susan's cheeks to touch the lower part of her cunt. She arched her ass, and her cunt came sliding down onto my fingers. She was already very wet.
For a few moments we remained standing, Scotty and I working on each of the women's breasts and me with my fingers in each of their cunts. Scotty grabbed my cock in his hand and began to massage it gently. The room filled with sighs and moans. A wave gripped us simultaneously and we rode it until it broke, our movements growing a little more frantic. And then we stopped, all of a sudden.
Susan and Ellen moved back and sat on the bed, and Scotty and I went to see about the dope. We brought the joints and the coke, and sat down with them. Scotty produced matches and I tore the cover off to use as a snifter. He lit the joints and I passed the paper around. For a while, we just sat quietly and got stoned. The grass producing mild billows in the space outside, and the cocaine melting the tension inside. Everything grew mellow and slow. The room seemed to close in to cover us.
I moved to put the roaches and the rest of the coke on the table. I turned back to find Ellen and Susan with their hands on each other's breasts. Scotty had leaned back, and the two women were gazing deeply into one another's eyes. They hung in balance for a moment, and then Susan lay back, drawing Ellen down on top of her. She lay with her knees wide apart and her feet touching, and Ellen's body lay straight into her. Their breasts mashed against each other. Susan's arms came up to encircle Ellen's neck, and Ellen reached down to stroke Susan's thighs. Their mouths hung open a fraction of an inch apart, and then their lips gently touched. A long sigh escaped Susan, and Ellen pressed her mouth forward, bringing her tongue out to lick at Susan's tongue. Their mouths began to move, pressing and pulling apart, nibbling and sucking. Simultaneously Ellen pressed her pelvis forward and the two cunts joined. Both let out a grunt of surprise, and Susan raised her legs to wrap them around Ellen's waist. Ellen tucked her pelvis under and started rhythmically to rub her cunt and bone and hair into Susan's naked lips.
They paused and disengaged. Ellen reared back and looked down into Susan's face, which now lay open and openly loving. Her mouth moved slowly, forming silent words. Her hands stroked Ellen's ass. And her pelvis moved in tiny jerking thrusts. Ellen took a deep breath, then began sliding down. In one easy motion, from her ankles to her ass to her spine to her neck, she slipped down Susan's body until her face was at her crotch. And then, very deliberately, she leaned forward and brought her lips down to plant a tender kiss on Susan's cunt.
Susan groaned and flung her arms out to her sides. Ellen reached down under her and cupped each of her ass cheeks in her hands. She lifted, and brought Susan's cunt front and up, right to her lips, then dropped her head the tiniest bit, and began licking the thin slit between the outer lips. Susan's legs went higher and back, her knees toward her chest. Ellen reached up with her hands, and slowly peeled the lips back, exposing the inner cunt slowly and gently. It unfolded like a flower, revealing the wrinkled bud at the very center. Ellen put out her tongue all the way in a long curve, and plunged it accurately and softly right into the heart of the opening. Susan shuddered and cried out softly. Without losing the rhythm, Ellen moved her tongue in and out, pressing her face all the way between Susan's thighs, then pulling back until only the tip of her tongue made contact. She reached in with her thumbs and pried the cunt completely apart. Then leaned forward and started to lick it all over, outside, and on the outer lips, and in the crevices between them and the inner lips, and down into the hole again. Susan's cunt became dripping wet, and Ellen put her entire right hand into it. She pushed until all five fingers were buried past the knuckles, and then made a fist. Susan cried out, "Oh God have mercy!" as Ellen opened and closed her fist and ran her fingers over every part of the inside of Susan's cunt.
She pulled her hand out and glued her mouth to the sticky lips. Suction dents formed in her cheek as she pulled at Susan's insides like a vacuum. Susan began to writhe and vibrate, her entire pelvis moving in deep thrusts. Ellen hung in, catching the rise and fall of each cycle of Susan's inner excitement, in there with her, cunt eating cunt. From very deep inside, Susan began to come. It rolled in waves through her body and had her rippling like a worm. It seemed as though all her bones had melted and all her muscles gone soft. And nothing was left but skin and membrane, soft, delicate, sensitive pink membrane of cunt, oozing pearly drops and generating heat. As the climax came, Ellen was pumping her pelvis against the bed and her mouth became a living dance. Together they let out a great groan, and Susan's cunt bucked up and down, pouring vibration after vibration into Ellen's hot mouth.
They lay like that for a very long time, not moving. Then Ellen moved up slowly and Susan held her cradled in her arms. They seemed almost light enough to float, and a faint glow shone around them. Scotty and I looked at each other, and smiled at the surprise in our eyes. We had become so enraptured by the sight of the two women making love, that we had forgotten ourselves and one another.
I looked at him and saw his face become lovingly tender. In an instant, all that we were capable of feeling for one another sang between us, and without I thought I moved into his arms. I felt very small and weak, and yielded myself to him in a vibrant passivity. As no woman ever could, he understood my mood. He embraced me tenderly, his hands slipping around my shoulders and running up and down my back. I laid my head on his chest while curling my legs up below me.
For a long time we sat like that, feeling the breathing and strength of one another's bodies, before he ran one hand down to cup my ass. All tension melted. My chest felt the heat of my beating heart and I heard myself moan as I grabbed his short curly hair and began kissing his throat, nibbling his chin and cheeks, finally bringing my mouth to his ear. Delicately I put the tip of my tongue into the opening, and with a shudder we were both suddenly grabbing each other hard. I felt the breath go out of me as he squeezed my ribs, and I took his whole ear in my mouth, tonguing it and moaning words which had no meaning.
A great sweeping desire went through me and his skin came alive to my touch. I gently pushed him back to the bed so that his body lay relaxed and unguarded before my eyes. My lips grew heavy and I leaned forward to glue them to his chest, feeling the hardness of bone and muscle in the wide space between his nipples. "Is there anything special you want me to do first?" I whispered. He took my head in his hands and said, "Only one thing: just don't rush."
Then he was mine. I felt all my fear and uncertainty cut loose, leaving me with the actuality of his wanting me. And I wanted to give him all that I had. I moved up and began to run my tongue over his cheeks and mouth, licking at his soft lips and feeling the tiny tremors of pleasure go through him. He was a great feast, every inch of him delicious and enticing, and I had an eternity in which to eat him.
There was no part of him I did not kiss or lap, and no part of him I did not experience with touching and smelling and being intensely aware of his reaction. Images flowed in and out of my head, but over everything was the act, the line of the movement, the unity of the dance. I got lost in the forests of his hair and emerged on the broad plain of his forehead. His eyes brought out a tenderness I didn't know I possessed. His jaw made me want to bite, and I gnawed at the hard skull beneath the warm flesh.
Like a dizzied explorer, I plunged down the canyons of his throat, and losing awareness of my awareness, dove to swim in the luxuries of his body, licking the long muscled arms and sucking at the delicate fingers, getting drunk in the aroma of his armpits, and rattling my brain in the rapid gallop over his rib cage. I rimmed his navel, sucking at his symbolic cunt, until he arched his back, and whimpering like a girl, opened his belly to my lips and teeth.
From there a mighty flight to his feet, where I lost myself in admiring the sheer sculpture of them. I lay there like a slave, but without the fantasies of subjugation, for all was beauty and relationship. What a simple joy to nibble at his toes, and run my tongue over the tender arch, and then to take the entire front of his foot in my mouth and suck it until I could feel the whorls of skin on each toe.
My heart sang as I now began the greatest journey, up his strong legs. He twisted and turned as I nipped his calves, and rolled to his side as I changed the mode and began to lick the skin up to his knees, then to the soft back part of the knees. He moaned at the edge between pleasure and inability to tolerate pleasure as I gently bit into that tender skin. And then succumbed totally by rolling over on his front.
Now the high, firm, sleek cheeks of his ass loomed as I sighted up his legs. With a twisting movement, I worked my face between his thighs which lay close together, and brought the tip of my tongue up the slot where his legs met, licking more and more sensitive skin until my tongue reached the valley itself, and I plunged hungrily between his buttocks. With a sigh, he opened his legs, and I fell into the musky smell of his ass, using my tongue to pry the globes of flesh apart and reach the desired hole.
Yet I contented myself with only a lick, and moved further, where his balls and cock lay pointing down from his crotch, and began to lick at his tool with wet hungry movements. His cock immediately became hard, and it was impossible to keep it pinned that way as it grew long. He arched his ass and his cock sprang forward pointing straight down toward the bed. For a long time I nibbled at the soft underpart, nuzzling his balls, and then abandoned myself under him, worming my way beneath his legs so that I lay on my back, ready to take his immense cock into my mouth.
Then he was gone. All at once he rolled over and I found myself uncovered. I turned to him and found that Ellen and Susan had moved up and were gnawing at his crotch like hungry wolves. Their lips seemed to form one unbroken line of mouth as they sucked at the tip of Scotty's cock. I tried to move in with them, but there was no room. I tried to make contact with Scotty, but his eyes were closed and he was clearly being transported into another universe from the one I was sitting in at the moment. All of a sudden, a wave of despondency broke over me, and I felt totally left out, totally abandoned. The three of them had formed a closed circle and had dropped me without a second thought. I wondered if this were the price I paid for my particular form of sexual ambivalence. A man would use me as a woman, unless there were a real woman present. And a woman could use me as a man, unless there were a stronger man present. And I could not be a woman for a woman as much as a real woman could. So I was left with an interesting posture and a metaphysical hard-on, and no one in the species who would come to me fully.