Miscegenist Sabishii (13 page)

“Hello?” 

“Toi?”  Shit; it was Mom. 

“Why you not call?  I thought you call after doctor visit?  You lose cell phone?”

“Ah…no.  I’m sorry, Mom, things just got a little crazy.”

“Crazy?  What wrong, Toi?”

“Nothing.”

“Son.  What is wrong?  Talk to me?”

I cleared my voice.  Why is it that talking to your mother makes you want to instantly start bawling and to climb up into her lap like you are just two years old again?  But I didn’t start bawling, I swallowed back everything that I was feeling.

“We had the ultrasound and got to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”

“Ah.”  She said happily.

“And the technician told us that the baby was sixteen weeks developed.  Problem is, Mom…Nikki and I have only been together thirteen and a half weeks.”

There was a long quiet.  “I see.  Where is Nikki?”

I shrugged.  “At lunch I guess.”  Or maybe back in her office or home.  I didn’t know and found that I didn’t care.

“And where are you?”

I sighed and looked out the window.  “In my office.”  She called here, right?  But I knew where she was going with this.

“Ganbatte.  Why are you not with her?”

“Mom…I just need space.  I need to think.”

“Nikki is scared and hurting, too.  You need to be with her.”

“Mom…”

“Toi, listen to me.  Nikki is the same woman that you loved a week ago.  She is going through this same process with you, finding out that she is pregnant, making plans for the future with you, and then finding out this news, too.  She didn’t do this on purpose.  This is before you.  This is Nikki and if you love her then you love everything about her…including her baby.”  I felt tears sting my eyes.

“I don’t know if…if I want to do that, Mom.”  It hurt to say it, but it was the truth.

“Then…you never really loved her.”  Her voice was suddenly chilly…and strangely there was not a bit of a Japanese accent to it.  “Just be man enough to tell her that it’s over.”  My heart caved at the idea of that.

“I don’t want that either.”

“Go to her and tell her you love her.”

“Yeah.”  Tears dripped from my eyes.  “Yeah.”

NIKKI

Lunch for me was a walk outside to clear my head.  I was wearing a pair of Loubitin pumps, so not the smartest thing to do.  I didn’t want to cry and for everyone at the office to have the
telltale signs of my tears because I had raccoon eyes.  So instead of focusing on what hurt, I focused on what made me so angry.

Like how Tony was a jackass.  One kind word, one show of support would have meant the world to me.  Even if he had continued with the whole needing to think and needing space, at least I wouldn’t be sitting here in this

turmoil wondering what he is feeling, at least I would know that he…

Did he still love me?

Even having to wonder that almost took the breath out of me and I stopped walking for a moment.  I couldn’t even imagine my life without Tony in it.  I placed my hand on my belly.  My baby was in there.  Mine.  Regardless of Tony or Dean.  And yeah, I would get through this no matter the outcome because I had this wondrous little one to consider. 

I went back to the office, a little less anxious, but still stinging from my meeting with Tony.  So imagine my surprise when I saw Tony sitting there waiting for me.  I closed the door slowly and decided not to speak.  Sometimes it was a time to speak and sometimes there was a time to listen.

He stood up quickly.  He looked like hell, just in the short span of time since I’d last seen him.

“Nikki…I am so sorry, baby.  I am so sorry that I haven’t been around.  I’m sorry for counseling you about
Dura.  I’m sorry.”  He watched me with an open expression.  “I know that I was being a jerk.”  He hurried to me and took my

hand.  “I love you.  I love all of you; your passion, your anger.  I love your baby.  Regardless…”  He stared deeply into my eyes.  “Regardless of whether it’s my child or not, I love this baby because it’s you.”

My arms went around him so fast that I think that he flinched wondering if I was going to haul off and hit him.  But no, I hugged him like he was my lifeline.  I felt him sigh as his arms went around me. 

“I didn’t want you to apologize.”  I said, my voice trembling so I guess I was crying again.  “I just wanted to know that you were still with me.  I’m the one that’s sorry!  I have you in this situation and…I’m so sorry-”

He pulled back, arms still around me.  “I don’t care.  That was before US.”

“You…you love the baby?”

He smiled.  And it was genuine.  “Does it really matter if my blood runs through this baby’s body?  I’m still going to be this baby’s father.  He or she is still going to be baby Yakamoto because I still intend to marry his mother.”

My knees trembled and hot and cold waves went through me.  He’d proposed!  It wasn’t a

‘will you marry me?’  But there was no need to even ask that question because I would!  Will!  I’m going to marry Toi Yakamoto!  I hugged him again and this time he picked me up and swung me into a slow circle before re-depositing me lightly onto my feet.

“We’re going to have to tell people-” I began but he placed his lips onto mine and kissed me.  My body turned to liquid.  Afterwards he looked at me.  What had I been saying?

“I have to run an errand.  I have to go to Isadore Durdak’s home and give her the re-fi check directly.  Afterwards, I’m going to need to spend a relaxing evening in the arms of my woman.  Do you think we can make that happen?”

I nodded solemnly.  “You…you have to apologize to her?”

“I need to grovel a bit.  But this is a good day for it.  At least I got practice.”  He tried to smile but it fell way short.

“Can I go with you?”  He gave me a surprised look. 

“But-”
 

“Please?”

His expression cleared.  “Of course.  If you want.  I suppose we should head out now.”  He went back to his office to let his secretary know where he was going and to lock up.  I made a quick phone call to underwriting to let them know about an error on closing papers for another client and then we drove off together leaving my car behind.

He closed his hands over mine.  “I’m not sure why you want to do this, Nikki.”

“Because you have to if I don’t.” He gave me a quick look and then I felt him briefly squeeze my hand.

We were at Mrs. Durdak’s house within minutes and I was appalled at what I saw.  The house was in such disrepair that I was ashamed for her.  Hopefully she would use some of the money for home repairs because the neighborhood was rather affluent and the normal upkeep was impeccable.  Didn’t she have family?  I didn’t expect her to climb a ladder and fix the fallen shingle or paint the rickety front porch, but someone in her family should have taken the initiative. 

With a grim expression on my face Tony and I went to the front door and rang the bell.  It was
probably not functioning so Tony knocked.

For seventy-two, Mrs. Dura sure moved well.  She was at the door in a flash of colorful cloth.  She was wearing a casual yet expensive burnt orange and brown pants suit.  It made the older woman look about ten years younger than her age; which she was proud to tell you.

She gave Tony an up and down look and when she saw me she actually snorted.  Tony and I exchanged looks.

“Mrs. Dura.  I’m Toi Yakamoto.  I wanted to come by and bring you the refinance check personally-”

“I know who you are.  Come in then.”  She held the door wide for us to enter.  I was blown away.  The shambles on the outside did not match the inside.  This house was magnificent; a bit austere for my tastes, it still was well maintained and richly decorated. 

“You have a lovely home.”  I said honestly. 

“Thank you.  I like nice things.”  She had an uncharacteristally haughty look about her.  Well she was obviously pissed about being denied in the first place.

Tony was staring at a curio cabinet.  “Your collection of Lladro is beautiful.”

Her severe expression began to loosen.  “Thank you.  I’ve been a collector for decades.”  Tony’s feet moved to the cabinet and Mrs. Dura joined him.  “Ahh, you like the Asian one.  That is springtime in Japan.”

“It’s beautiful.  I have the Hina dolls.”

“Both of them?”  Mrs. Durdak’s brow went up.

“Yes, both the Emperor and the Empress.”

“I’m impressed.  Not many men collect Lladro.”

“I’m not a true collector.  I just see pieces that I like.”

“I have a bronzed figural Geisha lamp circa 1870.  It doesn’t match anything in my house but it’s beautiful.”

Tony’s eyes lit up.  “May I see it?”

She actually smiled.  “Certainly, my boy.”  Wow, Tony was good at this type of thing.  Mrs.
Dura had already pretty much dismissed me.  Well, I may not be quite the ‘people’ person that

Tony was but it didn’t mean that I didn’t have heart or didn’t care.  I followed them to a sitting room that was very nicely decorated in antique, yet comfortable chairs.  On the side table set a black, ugly lamp with a birdhouse sitting on top of the Geisha’s up stretched hands.

“Wow, that is magnificent.”  Tony said with true awe in his voice.  I tried to see it through his eyes…and yet all I could see was an ugly lamp.  She went around the room and pointed out other antique pieces.  Each item, Tony looked on with appreciation and true interest.  After fifteen minutes in the room I was getting tired.  I sat down in one of the chairs and Mrs.
Dura gave me a sharp look.

“Chile, that chair is not made for big girls.  It will collapse on you like matchsticks!”  I jumped up and blushed.  I saw Tony press his lips together in order to hide that he was two seconds from laughing.  I ignored him.

“I’m sorry.  Mrs. Dura, I wanted to come here with Toi so that I could explain why I denied your loan.”

Tony gave me a dubious look but did not speak. 

The older woman pursed her lips.  “Oh, I know why you denied my loan.  I’m used to colored girls like you that can’t stand to see another black get ahead.  I’ve had to deal with trifling Negroes like yourself all of my life!”

My mouth fell open.  What the fuck?!  Even Tony took on a look of shock at her severe words.

“Mrs. Dura, Miss Mason is not that person.  I can assure you that your race had nothing to do with why the loan was denied.”

“Then why?  Why did the whites always give me loans but the one black I come up against denies me?!”

I couldn’t even speak, I was so outdone.  I just walked out of the room and towards the front door.  I wasn’t going to apologize to this woman.  Let her deal with the consequences of her own ignorance.

“Nikki!”  Tony gripped my arm.  “Tell her!  You came here to tell her so don’t leave without doing it!”

Mrs. Dura watched us silently.  Reluctantly I turned towards her.  I narrowed my eyes.

“Mrs. Dura, I’m going to be frank with you.  Since you were blunt with me, I’m just going to be the same.”

“Do it.  I got my check, at this stage of the game I’ve got what I wanted.  You can be as blunt as you want.”

I didn’t like this woman quite as much as I had three weeks ago.  Yet she did remind me of someone I knew; myself.