Miss Grief and Other Stories (27 page)

He replied that there were a number of cloisters in Florence; they might visit them in succession and pace around quietly. The effect would be heightened if she would read aloud, as they paced, short sentences from some ancient, stiff-covered little book like
De Contemptu Mundi
.

“Ah,” she said, “you are not in earnest. But I am!”

And she seemed to be; he said to himself that he had hardly had a look or word from her which was not only earnest, but almost portentously so. She now began to do whatever he asked her to do, whether it was to sing Italian music or to read Dante's
Vita Nuova
, both of which she had said she did not like. It is probable that he asked her to do a number of things about this time which he did not especially care for, simply to see if she would comply; she always did.

“If she goes on in this sort of way,” he thought, “never showing the least opposition, or personal moods different from mine, I really don't know where we shall end!”

But at last she did show both. It was in the evening, and she was at the piano; after one or two ballads he asked her to sing a little English song he had found among her music, not printed, but in manuscript.

“Oh, that is nothing,” she said, putting out her hand to take it from him. “I will sing this of Schumann's instead; it is much prettier.”

But he maintained his point. “I like this better,” he said. “I like the name—of course it is impossible, but it is pleasant—‘Semper Fidelis.'”

She took it, looked at it in silence for a moment, and then, without further reply, began to sing. There was nothing remarkable in the words or the music; she did not sing as well as usual, either; she hurried the time.

“
SEMPER FIDELIS

“Dumb and unchanged my thoughts still round thee hover,

Nor will be moved;

E'en though I strive, my heart remains thy lover,

Though unbeloved;

Yet there is sad content in loyalty,

And, though the silent gift is naught to thee,

It changes never—

Faithful forever.”

This was the verse; but at the fifth line she faltered, stopped, and then, rising abruptly, left the room.

“Margaret is very uneven at times,” said Miss Harrison, apologetically, from her easy-chair.

“All interesting persons are uneven,” he replied. He went over and took a seat beside his hostess, remaining half an hour longer; but as he went back to his hotel he said to himself that Miss Stowe had been for many weeks the most even woman he had ever known, showing neither variation nor shadow of turning. She had been as even as a straight line.

On this account her sudden emotion made an impression upon him. The next day he mentioned that he was going to Trieste.

“Not Venice?” said Miss Harrison. “I thought everybody went to Venice.”

“Venice,” he replied, “is pre-eminently the place where one needs either an actual, tangible companionship of the dearest sort, or a memory like it. I, who have neither, keep well away from Venice!”

“I rather think, Mr. Morgan, that you have had pretty much what you wanted, in Venice or elsewhere,” said Miss Harrison, with a dry humor she sometimes showed. Here she was called from the room to see a poor woman whom she befriended; Miss Stowe and Morgan were left alone.

He was looking at her; he was noting what effect, if any, the tidings of his departure (he had named to-morrow) would have upon her. She had not been conventional; would she resort to conventionality now?

Her gaze was bent upon the floor; after a while she looked
up. “Where shall you be this summer?” she said, slowly. “Perhaps we shall be there too.” Her eyes were fixed upon his face, her tone was hardly above a whisper.

Perhaps it was curiosity that made him do what he did; whether it was or not, mingled with it there was certainly a good deal of audacity. He rose, went to her, and took her hand. “Forgive me,” he said; “I am in love with some one else.”

It implied much. But had not her manner implied the same, or more?

She rose; they were both standing now.

“What do you mean?” she demanded, a light coming into her eyes—eyes usually abstracted, almost dull.

“Only what I have said.”

“Why should you say it to me?”

“I thought you might be—interested.”

“You are mistaken. I am not in the least interested. Why should I be?”

“Are you not a little unkind?”

“Not more unkind than you are insolent.”

She was very angry. He began to be a little angry himself.

“I ask your pardon with the deepest humility, Miss Stowe. The insolence of which you accuse me was as far as possible from my mind. If I thought you might be somewhat interested in what I have told you, it was because you have honored me with some small share of your attention during the past week or two; probably it has spoiled me.”

“I have; and for a month or two, not a week or two. But there was a motive—It was an experiment.”

“You have used me for experimental purposes, then?”

“Yes.”

“I am immensely grateful to have been considered worthy of a part in an experiment of yours, even although a passive one. May I ask if the experiment is ended?”

“It is.”

“Since when? Since I made that confession about some one else?”

Miss Stowe's face was pale, her dark eyes were brilliant. “I knew all the while that you were in love—hopelessly in love—with Mrs. Lovell,” she said, with a proud smile. “That was the reason that, for my experiment, I selected
you
.”

A flush rose over his face as she spoke. “You thought you would have the greater triumph?” he asked.

“I thought nothing of the kind. I thought that I should be safe, because you would not respond.”

“And you did not wish me to respond?”

“I did not.”

“Excuse me—we are speaking frankly, are we not?—but do you not contradict yourself somewhat? You say you did not wish me to respond; yet, have you not tried to make me?”

“That was not my object. It was but a necessary accompaniment of the experiment.”

“And if I
had
responded?” he said, looking at her.

“I knew you could not. I knew quite well—I mean I could imagine quite well—how much you loved Beatrice. But it has all been a piece of folly upon my part—I see it now.” She turned away, and went across to the piano. “I wish you would go now,” she said, in a low voice, vaguely turning over the music. “
I
cannot, because my aunt will think it strange to find me gone.”

Instead of obeying her, he crossed the room and stood
beside her; and then he saw in the twilight that her eyes were full of tears and her lips quivering, in spite of her effort to prevent it.

“Margaret,” he said, suddenly, and with a good deal of feeling in his voice, “I am not worth it! Indeed I am not!” And again he touched her hand.

But she drew it from him. “Are you by any chance imagining that my tears are for
you?
” she said, in a low tone, but facing him like a creature at bay. “Have you interpreted me in that way? I have a right to know; speak!”

“I am at a loss to interpret you,” he said, after a moment's silence.

“I will tell you the whole, then—I must tell you; your mistake forces it from me.” She paused, drew a quick breath, and then went on, rapidly: “I love some one else. I have been very unhappy. Just after you came I received a letter which told me that he was soon to be married; he
is
married now. I had an illness in consequence. You may remember my illness? I made up my mind then that I would root out the feeling if possible, no matter at what cost of pain and effort and long patience. You came in my way. I knew you were deeply attached elsewhere—”

“How did you know it?” he said. He was leaning against the piano watching her; she stood with her hands folded, and pressed so tightly together that he could see the force of the pressure.

“Never mind how; but quite simply and naturally. I said to myself that I would try to become interested in you, even if only to a small degree; I would do everything in my power to forward it. It would be an acquired interest; still, acquired
interests can be deep. People can become interested in music, in pictures, in sports, in that way; why not, then, in persons also, since they are more human?”

“That is the very reason—because they are too human,” he answered.

But she did not heed. “I have studied you; I have tried to find the good in you; I have tried to believe in you, to idealize you. I have given every thought that I could control to you, and to you alone, for two long months,” she said, passionately, unlocking her hands, reddened with their pressure against each other, and turning away.

“It has been a failure?”

“Complete.”

“And if you had succeeded?” he asked, folding his arms as he leaned against the piano.

“I should have been glad and happy. I should never have seen
you
again, of course; but at least the miserable old feeling would have been laid at rest.”

“And its place filled by another as miserable!”

“Oh no; it could never have been
that
,” she said, with an emphasis of scorn.

“You tried a dangerous remedy, Margaret.”

“Not so dangerous as the disease.”

“A remedy may be worse than a disease. In spite of your scornful tone, permit me to tell you that if you had succeeded at all, it would have been in the end by loving me as you loved—I mean love—this other man. While I, in the meantime, am in love (as you are kind enough to inform me—hopelessly) with another woman! Is Beatrice a friend of yours?”

“My dearest friend.”

“Has it never occurred to you that you were playing towards her rather a traitorous part?”

“Never.”

“Supposing, during this experiment of yours, that I had fallen in love with you?”

“It would have been nothing to Beatrice if you had,” responded Mrs. Lovell's friend instantly and loyally, although remembering, at the same moment, that Fiesole blush. Then, in a changed voice, and with a proud humility which was touching, she added, “It would have been quite impossible. Beatrice is the loveliest woman in the world; any one who had loved
her
would never think of me.”

At this moment Miss Harrison's voice was heard in the hall; she was returning.

“Good-bye,” said Morgan. “I shall go to-morrow. You would rather have me go.” He took her hand, held it an instant, and then raised it to his lips. “Good-bye,” he said, again. “Forgive me, Margaret. And do not entirely—forget me.”

When Miss Harrison returned they were looking at the music on the piano. A few moments later he took leave.

“I am sorry he has gone,” said Miss Harrison. “What in the world is he going to do at Trieste? Well, so goes life! nothing but partings! One thing is a consolation, however—at least, to me; the grandson of old Adam did not turn out a disappointment, after all.”

“I do not think I am a judge,” replied Miss Stowe.

IN JUNE MISS HARRISON
went northward to Paris, her niece accompanying her. They spent the summer in Switzerland; in
the autumn returned to Paris; and in December went southward to Naples and Rome.

Mrs. Lovell had answered Margaret's letter in June. The six weeks of yachting had been charming; the yacht belonged to an English gentleman, who had a country-seat in Devonshire. She herself, by-the-way, might be in Devonshire during the summer; it was so quiet there. Could not Miss Harrison be induced to come to Devonshire? That would be
so
delightful. It had been extremely difficult to wear deep mourning at sea; but of course she had persisted in it. Much of it had been completely ruined; she had been obliged to buy more. Yes—it
was
amusing—her meeting Trafford Morgan. And so unexpected, of course. Did she like him? No, the letter need not be returned. If it troubled her to have it, she might destroy it; perhaps it was as well it should be destroyed. There were some such pleasant qualities in English life; there was not so much opportunity, perhaps, as in America—“That blush meant nothing, then, after all,” thought the reader, lifting her eyes from the page, and looking musingly at a picture on the wall. “She said it meant only a lack of iron; and, as Beatrice always tells the truth, she did mean that, probably, and not irony, as I supposed.” She sat thinking for a few moments, and then went back to the letter: There was not so much opportunity, perhaps, as in America; but there was more stability, more certainty that things would continue to go on. There were various occurrences which she would like to tell; but she never wrote that sort of thing, as Margaret knew. If she would only come to Devonshire for the summer—and so forth, and so forth.

But Beatrice did sometimes write “that sort of thing,” after all. During the next February, in Rome, after a long silence,
Margaret received a letter from her which brought the tidings of her engagement. He was an Englishman. He had a country-seat in Devonshire. He owned a yacht. Beatrice seemed very happy. “We shall not be married until next winter,” she wrote. “I would not consent, of course, to anything earlier. I have consistently endeavored to do what was right from the beginning, and shall not waver now. But by next January there can be no criticism, and I suppose that will be the time. How I wish you were here to advise me about a hundred things! Besides, I want you to know him; you will be sure to like him. He is”—and so forth, and so forth.

“She is following out her destiny,” thought the reader in Rome.

In March Miss Harrison found the Eternal City too warm, and moved northward as far as Florence. Madame Ferri was delighted to see them again; she came five times during the first three days to say so.