Miss Independent (18 page)

              By the time 1:30pm rolled around, she had finished two mimosas and was working on a third when she saw a familiar face maneuvering through the door of the restaurant. But it wasn’t Sheila. It was Nathan. She sat up straight, taking time to lower her glass to the table so as not to shatter it all over her hands. She exhaled sharply, then shut her mouth when she realized it was hanging wide open. 

             
Go… Damn you
, she thought.

Nathan took her breath away, and she was pissed about it. He was dressed in a dark grey suit with a matching silk tie. His shirt was white and crisp with the collar appropriately placed over the lapels of his jacket, bringing out the even tones of his smooth caramel skin.

Sheila must have taught him that. Certainly not something he would have learned on his own.

He looked as if he had just come from a runway himself; as if he had leapt right off the catwalk and strolled across the street to meet her. He looked good and had gotten so much sexier and appeared much more sophisticated since high school, but immediately she felt set up to make a fool of herself.

When he saw her, he smiled wide, beamed in fact. To him, it felt like he was seeing an old friend for the first time in years, and not the woman he had left behind for another. As he approached, she quickly drank the remainder of her mimosa and stood up, straightening her dress and doing her best to keep her feet in place and not fall over the chair. She looked down at herself, making sure she appeared appropriate enough, and was surprised when he opened his arms for a hug.

She thought about slugging him instead, but they were in public, and she was determined to be civilized.

“Vanessa,” he said in a cool voice. His tone was always deep but seemed to have lowered overtime.

He slid his arms around her waist and pressed his hands against her back, even though she hadn’t openly welcomed his gesture. She cautiously wrapped her arms around him and instantly remembered what it was like to be in his. For a few moments, being embraced by him it felt so ‘right’ in her head. She didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want his arms to release her body. They were strong, muscular, and he held her so tight. As he relaxed himself against her, she closed her eyes and she inhaled him, and he smelled like cinnamon and peppermint.

“My, my,” he said, backing away. “
Vanessa Rae Brown.
You look as beautiful as ever, if not more than the last time I saw you.”

“A lot has changed in five years.”

“Your beauty’s only enhanced since then.”

She fluffed her hair and tucked it behind her ears. “Thanks.”

She tried as best as she could to physically and emotionally detach herself from his words as well as what he may have actually meant.

It wasn’t working so well.

She cleared her throat and looked him up and down while trying not to linger on certain aspects of his physique.

“You don’t look so bad for a soon to be married man,” she said, hoping the words would help her more than him. It was as if she needed a reminder that he was no longer hers, and that within the next few minutes, this conversation would no longer matter to either one of them. More so him than her, or so she believed.

“Yeah… Soon to be married man.” He recoiled a little, as if she had just insulted his favorite football team or his manhood.

She took note of the sudden glare in his eye, but disregarded it. “Um, where’s Sheila? I thought I was supposed to be meeting her here.”

“She’s coming, later. She had some things to take care of back at the hotel we’re staying. It’s the same as where the reunion is taking place, The Palace.”

“Right. Nothing but the best for Miss…” She stopped herself from speaking ill and chuckled. “Sheila. Anyway, wanna sit?”

He reached around, holding her chair as she sat first. He watched her every move and thought to himself, appreciating for the first time since graduation how much he had actually missed seeing her,
all
of her.

When she caught him staring, he smiled. She did the same and then lowered her eyes to the table.

“I had no idea you were even coming,” she told him. “I kept asking Sheila but she never really answered me.”

“We’re trying to keep a low profile.”

“Why?”

The waiter interrupted, asking what he wanted to drink.

“Scotch on the rocks,” he said.

The waiter checked for his ID, approving before turning to Vanessa.

“No more thanks, I’m fine.”

As he walked away, Vanessa lifted a brow.

“Since when do you drink scotch?”

“Since I’ve been doing nothing but helping to prepare briefs over the last few years.”

“Briefs? No boxers?” she asked. He laughed a little, as did she. “No seriously, I’m glad you’re finally doing something you’ve always wanted.”

“I’m almost there. Law school’s pretty tough. A lot tougher than I expected, and time consuming. I still have to pass the bar exam at some point and my studies aren’t going as well as they once did. Then again, I had an amazing tutor back then.”

“Yeah, but you were willing to learn too. And it’s a lot easier when you have a friend to help you. I’m guessing you don’t have much of that help now, what with Sheila busy planning the wedding and all.”

He smiled sadly, knocking the table with his knuckles.

“Un…less you made friends in some of your classes, or something?” she asked.

Things were becoming awkward. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Things are going well,” he said. “But look at you, Miss Editor-in-Chief of a world-wide sensation. Your magazine is a global phenomenon.”

“Oh wow.” She lowered her head, embarrassed. “I wouldn’t exactly go there.”

“I would. You should be proud of your accomplishments, V. You made the covers of Vogue and Vanity Fair look sexy as
hell
and at the same time. You’ve done really well for yourself and I’m proud of that.”

“Thanks. So have you.”

The waiter returned with his drink. Vanessa tore from Nathan’s eyes, but his never left her face. When she turned back, she noticed him staring again and adjusted herself in her chair. It was unnerving but at the same time it also relaxed her, because it meant that with this much staring and observation, he still felt something. Was it love or lust? She didn’t know or care. But it was something, she could see it in the way he stared at her and in the way his arms lingered around her body as they hugged. Whether or not she felt the same seemed irrelevant at the moment.

“So how are Mo and Nikki?” He took a few gulps of his drink and scooped some ice from the glass with his tongue.

“They’re great. Nikki’s still pursuing acting and Maurice works for an ad agency.”

“Good for him. Guess the modeling gigs finally dried up.”

She grinned. “Not exactly. He chose to stop modeling because he wanted something a bit more stable. Good looks can only get you so far in life.”

“True, but he was making damn good money and traveling the world. What the hell would make him give all of that up now as opposed to maybe ten years from now?”

“Well, he thought if he gave it up, that we could…” She paused, remembering Nathan had no idea of her and Maurice’s relationship while she was in college, seeing as he and Sheila had left New York for Los Angeles not long after graduation. She gently flipped her hair behind her and shook her head. “Never mind, it’s not important.”

He nodded, suspicious, but remained silent on it. “Is he still living with you?” he asked, fiddling with his glass.

“Yeah, as is Nikki.”

“It’s funny, when I heard you two… three, were living together, I was surprised. I never pictured Mo living with two women he never tried to sleep with…”

She coughed a little and sipped from her glass. “Mm-hmm.”

“And Nikki always seemed more like a free bird. The fact that neither one of them choose to leave the nest--”

“I’m their roommate, not their mother, Nathan. They’re free to go whenever they choose.”

“I guess you’re right. But free rent, and food.”

“They pay rent.” She laughed but was becoming annoyed. “What does it matter to you of all people anyway?”

“It doesn’t,” he said with a grin. “I guess I’m just used to looking out for you, that’s all.”

“Well, I can guarantee you that I’ve been fine for all of these years without you. Besides, I’m sure Sheila appreciates it, but I don’t and never really did.”

“You always were
Miss Independent
.” He gulped more of his drink.

“In some ways, yeah… but I’m realizing more and more, that I’m not so much in others. At least I wouldn’t like to be.”

She muttered the last part, becoming thoughtful and staring behind him out the window. She had so many memories running through her mind. She had so many questions she wanted answered, many of them starting with Why and How and Are. But she knew she wouldn’t get the replies she wanted, at least not then, and not there when they were waiting for his fiancée to show her face at any moment.

He leaned in a little, really looking at her face, her eyes, her nose and lips. There was a slight sparkle to his hazel eyes as he recalled a vivid memory of them getting stuck out in the rain. It was after football practice, senior year. She had just finished rehearsing a few routines with her cheerleading squad and was waiting on him to drive her home. He had left his keys somewhere in the locker room, and by the time he returned to the field, it was pouring. He found her standing beneath the bleachers, shivering and pissed off because her hair had gotten wet. He remembered laughing while she hit him in the chest, screaming that if he didn’t get her home soon, she’d have to spend all night blow drying it straight again. All he could think in that moment was how beautiful she looked, and how much he wanted to kiss her, and he did, and she finally stopped screaming and embraced him. It felt like hours on that day, but it was only a few minutes. When he let her go, she was smiling so hard it made her face hurt. She had forgotten about her hair and how angry she was. She was just happy to be with him. It was that moment he realized how much he was in love with her, and how much he knew that telling her the truth about Sheila would hurt them both, to the point that they would never recover. And he was right.

Vanessa sat back and made a face. “Why do you keep staring at me like that?” she asked him.

He shook his head. “Just remembering. Thinking about some times we shared back then. I really miss those days. Lately, I think about them more than I ever had before.” He waited a moment, looking away from her and then turning back. “I missed you, Vanessa. I never knew how much until this very moment, but I did, and I do. I miss our friendship and what we shared back then.” He tilted his head and squint. “Do you ever think about that? You ever think about me from back then? About us?”

“I try not to.”

“Why?”

“Because I just get angry. I try not to think about those days because it just reminds me of what I don’t have.”

“Me,” he said confidently.

“No. Just…” She sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Did you miss me, V? At all?”

Before she could respond, Sheila walked through the doors, spotting both of them.

Vanessa saw her before Nathan did because he was still too busy gazing her. It was almost as if she had walked through the doors in slow motion. Her long black hair, bone straight thanks to a fresh relaxer, flowed directly behind her as she fluently moved through the crowd with such ease. Her pink and white Chanel jacket with matching skirt was enough to envy even the richest woman in New York. The closer she moved toward them, the more Vanessa noticed how absolutely flawless her ebony skin still was. She was jealous. It had taken what felt like years for Vanessa’s blemishes, no matter how small many often were, to disappear. Meanwhile Sheila seemed to have perfect skin coming out of the womb.

“Sorry I’m late.” She tossed her hair behind her and kissed a now observant Nathan on the cheek. Neither he nor Vanessa looked too thrilled to see her.

“Late?” Vanessa asked, glaring at the dials on her Dior watch. “It’s 2pm. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago.”

“Hello to you too, V, long time no see.”

She reached her arm out and attempted to kiss her cheek, but Vanessa jerked back as if she had just been shocked by an electrical outlet before Sheila could come near her. They scowled at one another for a little while before Vanessa finally turned away. Whatever she was feeling before Sheila walked in was definitely long gone by the time she had actually shown up.

“I meant to be here sooner,” Sheila said, pulling up a seat beside Nathan. “But I lost track of time. The last minute details for the reunion are taking up more of my time than I had expected.”

“I thought Joan would’ve taken care of most of the obligations by now. It’s only a few weeks away, how much more could possibly be needed at this point?”

“You’d be surprised,” she told her. She turned to Nathan and smiled. “So, what did I miss?”

Nathan’s hand rested on the table. Sheila took it in hers and squeezed tight. Nathan rubbed her fingers, and then frowned. He turned to Vanessa who looked at them both with the urge to vomit.

“You know I, um…” She rested her hand on her face and slid back in her chair. “I actually have a meeting that I need to make it back for in about thirty minutes. Maybe we can do this some other time, Sheila.”

“But I was hoping we’d get to talk and catch up.”

That was the last thing Vanessa wanted, unless Sheila was volunteering herself as a baseball with Nathan as the pitchers’ glove. It was the only form of “catch” in which she was willing to participate.

She averted her eyes and swallowed to keep anything from coming up that wasn’t supposed to. “Yeah, I need to go.” She stood up and pushed her chair underneath the table.

“Sheila’s right, we uh…” Nathan jumped up to match her while Sheila remained in her seat, watching them in downright disgust as they verbally danced around each other. “We haven’t really gotten to discuss anything of importance.”

“I think we’ve discussed enough for the time being. Besides, I told Alexis I’d be gone for two hours max, and it’s turned into almost three. She’ll have my head if I’m not back for this meeting soon and next thing you know, Felicia will be running the damn magazine in my place. It was nice, um…” She swallowed her pride and her anger. “Congratulations on the upcoming wedding.”

“Then you received your invitation?” asked Sheila.

“Yeah, I did… And I tossed it into the trash.” She laughed loudly, almost in hysterics and then stopped herself. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that part out loud.”

“It’s okay,” replied Nathan.

“No, it’s not actually,” Sheila interjected. “Those invitations cost my parent’s a pretty penny.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before inviting me in the first place.”

“I didn’t want to invite you,” she snapped, “that was Nathan’s idea.”

Vanessa opened her eyes wide in shock and looked at him. He was staring down at Sheila and grinding his teeth. “Wow, okay. Well, okay then, I hope you two have a blissful marriage that lasts years and years and into the next decade and beyond. Excuse me.
Ya spiteful
bitch
,” she mumbled.

As she headed for the door, Nathan continued staring at Sheila, who feigned being unbothered as she searched for a nail file in her purse.

“What the hell was that?” he asked.

“I couldn’t very well tell her
I
wanted her there. She’d think I only invited her to be a bitch, and I wasn’t. I thought if I told her it was your idea, she’d take it better. Guess I was wrong.”

“I guess so.” He headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?” she hollered.

“I’ll be back.”

“She’s long gone by now! Natha--”

He hurried out of the restaurant to meet up with Vanessa outside. He looked either way and saw her from his right. “Vanessa!” he called out.

She heard and immediately shut her eyes.

“Vanessa!” he hollered again.

She opened her eyes and kept walking. The thought of seeing him so soon after she had just left him, when she was on the verge of both tears and vomit after seeing him beside Sheila believing he was the one who wanted to humiliate her instead, wasn’t a good idea. She walked as fast as she could, hoping like hell that he wouldn’t and couldn’t catch up to her pace. Even in heels, she was a master track star. He tried going after her for a few more feet, still calling her name, but gave up when he realized she would never turn around, because she was purposely ignoring him or legitimately couldn’t hear her name being shouted.