Miss Me When the Sun Goes Down (27 page)

“Jobs that gave me a certain name as one who can get things done.”

“Okay, what kinds of things?” I asked patiently, but he just shook his head. 

“Things you shouldn’t know about.”

“I think I can take it.”  I’d seen more violence in the past two months than most people saw in their entire lives.   

A furrow appeared on his brow, and Rob dropped his gaze from mine.  “There’s things I’ve done I don’t like remembering.  I’d just as soon you not remember me for them as well.”

“I guess I can understand that,” I nodded slowly.  “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t gone with Jakob back then?  Back when you were a boy?”

“I wasn’t ever a boy,” he snorted.  “Not since my parents died.  Jakob gave me a place in the world, I’ll always be grateful for that.  It gets tiresome being at his beck and call sometimes, but I’d be long dead if not for him, and so would Leila.”

“Is that why you’re both still so young looking?  Because of his blood?”  For all I knew his family all lived for hundreds of years, barring accidents. 

“Yeah.  He made sure to stop by and visit Leila every now and again to keep her young and spry as well.”

“But not your Grandma?”

“No, he never shared his blood with Gran apart from the sacrament.” 

“Would my blood do the same for you, or does it have to be his?”

“I don’t rightly know.  It keeps me strong and healthy, but I might start to age more if Jakob was to cut me off.”  He gave an unconcerned shrug.  “It’s not something I’ve experimented much with.  You’re the only progeny he’s made for hundreds of years.”

“I guess that’s good news.  I’d hate to think there were a bunch of girls like me out there.” 

“There’s no one can hold a candle to you.”  

Jakob had plied me with flowery words but none touched me so much as the simple phrase from the reserved man beside me.  The breath caught in my throat as I stared back at him, my body completely attuned to every movement, every nuance… even the beating of his heart, despite the cushion of space between us.  Would he try to kiss me again?  Did I want him to? 

Rob shifted a fraction closer to me, whether he realized it or not, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he sucked in a breath.  “Anja, I…” 

“I need a story,” Leila announced from the doorway, her tone petulant and fussy, like a sleepy two year old up past her bedtime. 

“It’s much too late for stories, especially for girls who need their rest,” he replied indulgently.  

“Aw, but you always tell me a story, Robby.  She’s had hers, now it’s time for mine.” 

Rob shot me a helpless shrug, and I was quick to wave him on.  “No, it’s fine.  Go visit with your sister, I’ll be here long after she’s gone.”  I rose to my feet, conscious of the space he filled when he stood next to me.  “We can always finish our… conversation later.” 

“It’s probably for the best,” h
e said, lips curving into a half smile.  “It was getting a bit warm in here anyways.” 

“I’ll say,” I muttered as he turned to leave. 

“Off we go then, Bits.  Up to bed and I’ll tell you a tale that’ll make your hair curl.”

Instead of turning for the stairs where Rob was herding her, Leila ducked past him and threw her arms around me in an impulsive hug.  “Don’t fret,” she whispered, patting gently at my hair.  “Sometimes evil happens, no matter what we do to stop it.  It doesn’t make you part of it.  What matters is that you see it for what it is.”

“Huh?” 

When she pulled back, she gave no indication that she’d said anything so cryptic or heard my confusion over it.  “Aren’t we going then?” she said loftily, her nose in the air as she sailed past Rob, leaving me staring after them as they ascended the stairs. 

Leila stayed with us for another two nights, just long enough to celebrate the Winter’s Solstice with Rob and then be on her way.  I tried broaching the subject of her enigmatic remark a couple of times, but she always deflected it with a change in topic.  Despite the pall Isak’s betrayal put over the house, it was nice to see the brother and sister interact, and I saw Rob laugh more than I ever had before. Leila seemed to bring out a playful side to him I hadn’t known existed. 

I was less thrilled about spending Christmas with my family, especially since things were tense between Mason
and I.  Hanna was clueless about the tension between us, and I hated to turn her down when she as much as invited herself over to come and see the new house, but I couldn’t invite him in.  In the end I tried to pass it off as keeping my worlds separate for her safety, but Mason and I both knew it was because we didn’t trust each other anymore.  

We settled for gathering at Mom and Dad’s to exchange gifts, and Mom went ahead and did the whole holiday spread.  I invited Rob to come in with me, but he insisted on waiting outside in the car, the better to keep an unobstructed view, he said, but I thought he was just uncomfortable being around people who asked so many questions.  Lord knew I was growing to sympathize with that. 

My parents both had a bajillion questions about where Jakob was, and how the new job was working out, and I had to sit through a half hour lecture on the perils of rash decisions when they found out we’d broken up.  It got so I almost started to consider compelling them to drop it and move on.  But in the end I stuck to my morals and kept out of their heads, all the while kicking myself for not having blown off the evening altogether. 

T
here was a moment or two when we were all gathered around the piano singing and I thought of Rob outside, all alone in the cold, and I realized having a family wasn’t so bad after all.  They might have been a pain in the behind, but they were mine. 

Rob was quiet on the drive back to San Francisco, but it didn’t bother me.  I’d learned to interpret his silences, and I could tell this wasn’t a stony one.  I thought about asking him to take me out hunting instead of straight home, but it felt wrong to hunt on Christmas Day. 

Not long after I changed into more comfy clothes and settled on the couch in my sitting room, I heard Rob’s knock on my bedroom door and I yelled for him to come in. 

“Thought you might be hungry,” he said, bearing a steaming mug, but this time I caught the distinct scent of fresh blood mingled with the cinnamon. 

“Where did you get that?  That’s not from Maggie, is it?  She and I talked about this.  She’s more than pulling her own weight as my assistant, she doesn’t need to give me her blood too.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot
.” He pretended to scowl, but there wasn’t any heat behind his voice as he placed it on the end table beside me.  “It’s mine.”

“Yours?” I blinked.  I hadn’t tasted his blood in a while, but the tang of it remained sharp in my memory.  My eyes dipped to his wrist, which sported a thin strip of gauze.  “Did you cut yourself?”

“It’s alright.” He pulled his arm out of sight, but I didn’t let it go so easily.

“Let me see it.”  Rob obediently surrendered his wrist and I unwound the gauze, taking care not to cause him any pain as the clotted blood stuck to it at the end.  “You shouldn’t have done that.  I could have gone another night without any blood.”

“It’s not a big deal, I’ve done it plenty of times over the years.  Don’t even hurt much,” he shrugged. 

“Well, it’s a big deal to me.  I don’t want anyone hurting themselves on my behalf,” I scowled, biting into my finger and smoothing it across the wound.  We both watched as his flesh knit together, as if by magic.  I continued to stroke my finger across the newly healed skin even after the skin pinkened and eventually paled.  “There… good as new.”  I lifted his wrist to kiss and make it better, tasting the remnants of our mingled blood on my lips.  

“There’s more of that in the mug over there,” his head nodded, tearing his eyes off of my lips.  “Hurry now, it’ll get cold.”

I let go of him to pick up the mug, almost wishing he hadn’t muddied the scent of his blood with the cinnamon.  The spice was good for camouflaging bagged blood, but his needed no such help.  Our eyes met over the rim as I sipped carefully, wanting it to last. 

As good as it was, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to sink my teeth into the strong cords of his neck.  My fangs scraped against the side of the mug as they descended in a need that couldn’t be satisfied by feeding this way.  I could tell by the way his breath quickened that he could somehow sense my desire, and the air between us became heavily charged, neither of us looking away.

All too soon the cup was empty, and I licked my lips daintily as I set it down, feeling warmed both inside and out.  “Thank you,” I said simply, doing my best to rein in the hunger his blood had set to my veins.  “Do you need any of my blood?  It’s been a while.”

“No, I’m good, thanks,” Rob replied a little too quickly.  “I had some from Jakob before I came here.”

“Are you sure?”  If anything, he looked like he wanted nothing more than to pull me into his arms.  I wondered, if I twitched even an inch closer to him if he’d lose that veneer of control and give in to what we both wanted. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea after what happened last time.”

Shame flooded me as I remembered how easily I’d lost control the last time he’d tasted my blood.  But the circumstances were entirely different.  “It isn’t the same now.  I’m not… it wouldn’t be…”  I wouldn’t be breaking any promises by letting Rob drink from me this time.  I wasn’t beholden to anyone.  “There’s no reason why we couldn’t…”

“There is for me.  I couldn’t take you being in my arms like that again and having it be all about the blood and nothing more.”

“Oh,” I said softly at seeing the pain in his eyes as he recalled the same memory that had me jonesing for more.  “I’m sorry, I had no idea.   You should
’ve said something that night. I never would have done it if I’d known it would make you so uncomfortable.”

Rob shook his head.  “I can’t say I didn’t want it too, but I can’t do it again, not like that.”

“Does it have to be like
that
?” I ventured.  “Things have changed between us since then.”

“No so much that I don’t know my duty.”

“Not everything is about duty.”  He didn’t reply and that begged the question.  “Rob… what did you mean when you said I’m not for you?  Not now, not ever?  Did Jakob forbid you to get involved with me?”

“It never came up.”

“Then why…?”

“I know him well enough to know what he’d do if he thought for a second I had designs on you for myself.  You don’t realize how close your boy came to dying when Jakob found out the two of you’d become sweethearts.”

“But he stepped aside for Bishop, remember?” 

“Only for as long as it suited him to do so, make no mistake of that.”

“Then you don’t think that you and I will ever…”

He looked away, and I swallowed back the lump that rose to my throat.  Not that I was suddenly in love with Rob, but to be denied the chance for something that might turn out to be wonderful for both of us… I wasn’t ready to accept that yet. 

“I um, got you something for Christmas,” I said, more to get him to look at me again than anything else. 

The ploy worked, the lines around his eyes eased and he looked up with a playful grin.  “Did you now?  I’ve got something for you as well.”

“You do?”

“Sure, give me a sec and I’ll fetch it.” 

The moment he was gone, I cast my eyes around the room, looking for a prop for what I had in mind, but there wasn’t anything suitable.  All too soon he was back, a small box covered in scuffed brown leather in his hand. 

“It’s not much,” he said simply, depositing it in my outstretched hand. 

I opened it up to find a simple silver locket on a long chain nestled inside, tarnished with age.  Inside the locket was a miniature picture of Rob dressed in his army uniform from World War II.  “Oh, Rob...”  My fingers passed over the delicate photo reverently; I could practically feel the history in the metal.  “This is… amazing.  Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

“I should have cleaned it up a
smidge.” His brows edged together, fingers inching towards the box, but I held fast to it.

“No, this is perfect, I love it.”

“I can’t take full credit for it.  It was Leila’s, she wanted you to have it.”

“Please thank her for me too then.  Will you put it on me?” I handed him the box, lifting my hair up and turning my back to him.  There was the sound of the chain as he pulled it from the box, and then I felt the cool metal touch my skin as he placed it around my
throat.  The clasp must have given him a spot of trouble, as I heard the briefest of curses under his breath, and then his fingers brushed over the nape of my neck as he fastened it in place, sending a shiver across my skin.

“This way you’ll always have something to remember me by.”

I ignored the way that smacked of a farewell gift instead of a Christmas present, studying the locket again once he was done with the clasp.  “I didn’t get you anything this nice.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, let’s have it.”

“Alright, close your eyes.”  His brows twitched together, but he did it.  “Are they closed?  No fair peeking,” I admonished, still trying to gather my nerve.

“I’m not peeking, now give me my prezzie.”

In for a penny, in for a pound…
  I leaned forward, brushing my lips against the corner of his mouth.  Rob startled, his eyes flying open, but he didn’t pull away.  We stared at each other, neither of us so much as breathing, and then he closed the distance between us, his lips covering mine.  His kiss was slow and thorough, as though we had all the time in the world, but it packed no less heat than the fervent kiss in the rain.  That first kiss had taken me by surprise, and I was too shocked to do much more than react, but this kiss…  It wasn’t just a kiss… it felt like… like the way a song moves you, that’s the only way I can describe it. 

You know when you hear a song and it’s not just the lyrics that speak to you, but the melody that touches your soul?  And you well up with emotion – not that you’re going to cry exactly – but you just feel so full… you could burst, but you never want it to end?  There’s no explanation of how or why a song will catch you a certain way, but it does every time you hear it.  It makes a memory that becomes a part of your soul.  That’s what kissing Rob was like. 

Emotion swelled with every brush of his lips and rasp of his cheek.  I breathed in the heat of him, stealing his breath and it warmed me to the core.  With each slow, drugging kiss, I was bound tighter and tighter to him, and all I knew was, I wanted more.  He felt it too, I knew he did.  Not just from the way his heart quickened every time I touched him, or the way his breath hitched in time to mine, but I felt it deep in my bones the way an old man knows the certainty of a coming storm.

So it was shocking on many levels when he broke the kiss abruptly, lurch
ing to his feet.  “I can’t.  I have to think of Leila.” 

My stomach reeled in confusion and distress at having the music torn away so unexpectedly.  “Leila’s not even here.” 

“It’s not just you and me I’m making decisions for.” 

“I don’t understand.”

“And I pray you never fully do.” 

“But that kiss… that was…”

His face softened, but he didn’t come any closer, edging towards the door.  “More than I could have hoped for.” 

“Rob,” I called him back before he made his escape.  “About what you said before…”

“I say a lot of things, you can’t pay me any mind.” His lips twitched in amusement.

“You said you loved me.”

I saw chagrin sweep over his features, but not regret.  “I didn’t mean for you to hear that.  Forget I said it.”

“I think it’s nice.”  We looked at each other from across the room for long seconds.  I wasn’t ready to say more, but it was important to me that he know I’d overheard it and wasn’t freaked out by it.  Still a little in awe over it, but not freaked out one bit.   

“Happy Christmas, Anja.” His lips pressed together as though he wanted to say more, but thought better of it.  “Get some rest. I’ll see you when the sun goes down.”

“Happy Christmas, Rob,” I replied, fingers going automatically to the silver necklace hanging over my heart.  I made a silent vow on the locket not to give up on him so easily.  I wanted the music back.