She was still too stunned to speak, though he was afraid of what might be building up inside her.
‘Darling, I want you to know,’ he persevered, ‘that no one means more to me than you, and nothing’s ever going to change that.’
‘But you’ve got a son now,’ she said, her voice seeming too thin and stiff. ‘It’s what you’ve always wanted.’
‘
You
are what …’
She was shaking her head. ‘It’s all right, it doesn’t matter,’ she told him. ‘I always knew I wasn’t enough.’
‘Kelsey, that isn’t true.’
‘Yes it is. You and Mum only ever really wanted Sam, I just got in the way.’
‘Darling, you know how much I love you …’
‘I know you say it, but only because you have to. The truth is, I’m not a boy so I don’t really count. Well, you’ve got one now, with Vivienne, so I suppose … Oh my God, that’s why Mum went, isn’t it? Because you told her about … whatever his name is?’
‘It’s Rufus, and no, it’s not why she went because, as I said just now, I didn’t know about him myself until last night.’
She appeared confused by that, until she said
through
tight lips, ‘So you were with
her
, last night?’
‘For a while.’
‘So she’s here, in Devon?’ Her expression filled with contempt. ‘That is so disgusting, she just can’t wait to step into Mum’s shoes.’
‘She’s working here, and as far as I know she’s not staying long.’
Her eyes went down, but her jaw remained tight and her fists clenched. ‘Rufus is such a dumb name,’ she sneered nastily.
‘I’m sorry you think so.’
Her head came up. ‘Well, I do, as it happens, but why should you care?’
Sidestepping the childishness, he said, ‘I’d like you to think of him as your brother, if you can, because that’s what he is.’
Dissent blazed from her eyes. ‘No he’s not. He doesn’t belong to Mum, so how can he be?’
‘OK, he’s your half-brother. The point is, what’s happening now is no more his fault than yours.’
‘What if I said I don’t ever want to see him?’
‘Well, I’d be very upset if you took that stand, but it still wouldn’t change how important you are to me.’
‘That is such crap,’ she cried furiously. ‘You’ve never given a damn about me, or Mum, because you don’t care about anyone except yourself. All that’s ever mattered to you is your work, and how much time you could spend away from us – until
Vivienne
came along. Everything changed for you then, didn’t it?’
‘Kelsey …’
‘Don’t touch me,’ she cried, punching his hands away. ‘God, it’s no wonder Mum went out of her mind being married to you. She was even lonelier than me, and that’s saying something. But don’t think I’m
defending
her, because she was as bad as you. Never thinking about anyone but herself or Sam. It was like I never even existed half the time. Well, don’t worry, I won’t be sticking around much longer. You can get rid of me, just like … you got rid of … her.’ She broke off and dropped her head so he couldn’t see her tears.
As devastated by her words as she’d clearly intended him to be, Miles said, ‘I understand that you’re angry and upset now, and you’re right, I probably should have tried harder to understand …’
‘Don’t start making excuses,’ she yelled. ‘You sent me away to school because you didn’t want me.’
‘No, because I thought it would be best for you, but I was wrong, which was why I brought you to Devon as a weekly boarder—’
‘Don’t worry, you can dump me back there,’ she broke in, ‘then if you like, you won’t ever have to see me again.’
‘Kelsey, if you think that’s what I want then I really have failed, because nothing would hurt me more.’
‘Don’t lie!’ she raged. ‘You’ve got your son now, so why would you be interested in me? Oh just fuck off,’ she snarled, as he started to reply. ‘You talk so much crap, and I’m sick of it, because the truth is nothing would make you happier than to get me and Mum out of your life so you can bring Vivienne back here. Well, you’ve obviously succeeded with Mum, and I bet the police are right, you have done away with her.’
His face was bloodless, his eyes glittering darkly as he said, ‘If you seriously think—’
‘
Shut up
,’ she seethed, leaping to her feet. ‘I don’t want to hear any more. It doesn’t interest me. You’ve got what you want – she’s gone, and now I can’t wait to go too.’
He flinched as the door slammed closed behind her. Though his instinct was to go after her, he knew it wouldn’t do any good right now. She was too angry and afraid of what was happening. She needed time to calm down, then he’d try talking to her again, because he had to reach her somehow. God knew how he was going to manage it when her insecurities and fears were so deeply ingrained, and the police were out there even now expecting to find her mother’s body.
Pushing his hands through his hair, he got to his feet and returned to the window. From the look of it nothing had changed outside, still a bunch of dark uniforms milling over the grounds, a few dogs panting and sniffing, and the ducks huddled up with the geese on the far bank, keeping clear of the divers. There appeared to be more helicopters now, which undoubtedly meant that news cameras were beaming progress back to the studios. He could almost feel pleased about that if it managed to reach Jacqueline and prompted her to put an end to this nonsense, but God knew if it would.
Hearing his mobile start to ring he turned back to his desk to check who it was, and seeing Vivienne’s name he let the call go through to messages. There was nothing he could say to her now that was going to make this any easier for either of them. If anything, feeling as he did, it would only make matters worse.
Kelsey was sitting on her bed, hugging herself tightly, terrified that the feeling she’d had when her dad had told her about
Rufus
might come over her again. It had been like something inside her was sucking her down and down, making her smaller and smaller while the world grew bigger and bigger. She was shrinking into
a
horrible, ugly thing that no one wanted to see, or speak to, or have anything to do with at all, so she had to get plucked out like a weed, or crushed like a disgusting, mouldy crumb.
She felt sick and afraid and desperate to hold onto someone, but she wasn’t going to let her dad in, even though he kept knocking. He didn’t care really. He was just saying he did because he had to.
Suddenly huge waves of despair began tearing through her savagely, convulsing and pounding her chest, stealing her breath and making her want to scream out loud.
Mummy. Daddy
. The voice was shrill and terrified, but she couldn’t let it out. She had to keep quiet, because she didn’t matter the way Sam did. No one wanted to listen to her, so she rolled onto her side and clutched her knees even harder and almost didn’t hear when her mobile bleeped with a text. She ignored it anyway. It wouldn’t be from her mum, because it just wouldn’t, and even if it was she didn’t care. She didn’t want to hear from her ever again. She only wanted to be dead, or to run away and never come back. If she had any money, or knew where to go, she’d start packing now.
In the end, just in case it might be her mum, she got up from the bed, breathless and trembling, her face ravaged by tears, and went to her dressing table to check. It was a message from Martha.
Hey, wen u cmng bk 2 skul? Need my m8. XxM
More tears welled in Kelsey’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks to drip from her chin. Martha, her best friend. Immediately she started texting back, so
relieved
to have someone to talk to that her fingers were shaking and small, eager laughs were breaking through her sobs.
Loads to tel u. bk soon. Cant w8 2 get out of here.
The only trouble now was she had to ask her dad to take her back to school, and she really didn’t want to see him in case he started talking about
Rufus
again.
She went to the window, trying to work out what to do, but seeing the helicopters she stepped back again. She didn’t want to think about why they were there. It just made her angry and frustrated, like she wanted to lash out and hit someone, tear their face, their eyes, their hair. She had to make it all go away and leave her alone.
‘So what do you think, Detective Constable?’ Sadler asked, as he and Joy stood watching one of the divers rising to the surface of the lake. ‘Has anything we’ve heard this morning impressed anything on you?’
Joy drew her coat more tightly around her as the sun disappeared behind a cloud. ‘Well, sir,’ she replied, ‘to me it seems to be bearing out what Vivienne Kane told us last night, that Mr Avery didn’t know about his son before now. And if he didn’t, well, bang goes his motive.’
‘Mm,’ Sadler grunted.
She turned to find him looking as uncertain as she felt.
‘That particular motive, yes,’ he said, still watching the divers, ‘but he doesn’t deny wanting to end his marriage.’ Then with a sigh he added, ‘Even if it is true
that
he didn’t know until last night, something was certainly going on in that cottage, or whatever you call it, before we got there. The atmosphere was so tense you could pluck it.’
‘Which suggests maybe he had just found out.’
Sadler pursed his lips and nodded slowly.
‘The housekeeper obviously didn’t know until we told her,’ Joy continued. ‘No surprise there, I suppose. Shame we can’t question his daughter without him being present.’
‘I doubt she’d have known. If he was keeping it from the wife, it stands to reason he’d keep it from his daughter too.’ He began following the progress of a trio of geese as they paddled across the water towards the opposite bank. ‘No word yet from Vivienne Kane about her whereabouts on August 29th?’ he asked.
‘Not yet. She—’
Sadler turned round as a commotion erupted behind them, his detective’s pulses starting to quicken, but it was only one of the sergeants reprimanding a young officer for not looking where he was throwing up mud.
Relaxing again, he said, ‘It shouldn’t be difficult to find out if Miles Avery and Vivienne Kane have been seeing one another on the quiet. Someone’s got to know – family, colleagues, close friends – and one of them will be bound to give it away, if it has been happening.’
Joy nodded agreement.
‘Her mother’s the obvious first stop,’ he continued, ‘at which point we’ll presumably get to meet the new son and heir.’
‘I’ll set it up,’ she said, taking out her pad to make a note.
Digging his hands into his pockets, he turned to stare up at the house. With its backdrop of cold, grey sky and gloomy trees it appeared much more austere than when the sun was lighting up the creeper and softening the walls. From this distance it was impossible to tell whether anyone was watching from the windows, but he had a feeling Avery might be. He must be expecting them to come and talk to him at any moment, but Sadler was of a mind to let him stew for a while, get a little worked up about what direction the investigation might be taking, before questioning him again.
Taking out his mobile as it started to ring, he listened to the voice at the other end. A moment later he felt his face go slack.
‘What is it, sir?’ Joy said as he put the phone away.
His eyes went to hers. ‘They’ve found a body,’ he told her.
Joy’s jaw dropped. ‘Where?’ she asked.
He turned towards the bottom woods, where the helicopters were buzzing overhead. ‘Come on,’ he said, ‘we’d better get ourselves down there.’
Chapter Eleven
‘HAVE YOU HEARD
the news?’ Linda said as soon as Vivienne walked in the door.
Since she’d been listening to the choreographer’s music tape all the way from Devon, Vivienne hadn’t.
‘They’ve found a body,’ her mother told her.
Vivienne turned cold.
‘It’s what they’re saying,’ Linda assured her, looking almost as stunned as Vivienne. ‘Apparently it’s in some woods, next to the moor.’
Vivienne dropped her bags and took out her phone. ‘Miles,’ she said shakily into his voicemail. ‘I’ve just heard—’ Her voice caught on a wave of resistance. ‘You have to call me. Please. I need to speak to you.’ Her eyes went back to her mother’s as she rang off. ‘There has to be a mistake,’ she said, her face now totally devoid of colour. ‘It can’t be her. Are they saying it is?’
‘I don’t know. Not that I heard, but …’
‘Where’s Rufus?’
‘Having his afternoon nap.’
Vivienne started through to the sitting room.
‘Vivi,’ her mother said anxiously as Vivienne stooped to kiss the softly flushed cheek of her sleeping
son,
‘the police have been in touch. They want to come here and talk to me.’
Vivienne’s heart turned over, and putting her palms to her cheeks she pressed in hard. ‘It’s all right,’ she told her mother, forcing herself to stay calm. ‘They’ll be trying to find out how long Miles has known about Rufus.’
Linda was taken aback. ‘Does that mean you’ve told him?’
‘He found a photograph, last night. He knew straight away Rufus was his and he’s furious that I’ve kept it from him.’
‘But he has to understand why, surely,’ Linda protested. ‘He knows very well—’
‘Of course he understands,’ Vivienne cut in, more sharply than she’d intended, ‘but that’s not going to give him back the first fifteen months of Rufus’s life, is it?’
Linda looked at her helplessly. ‘I don’t know what to say,’ she murmured. ‘If this body turns out to be Jacqueline’s …’
‘Of course it’s not,’ Vivienne snapped, and turning abruptly away she went out to the kitchen to switch on the news.
‘… We’re just going over to Dartmoor now,’ the studio presenter was saying, ‘where our reporter Gavin Havelock is on the scene. Gavin, can you tell us what’s happening now?’
A clean-shaven, rosy-cheeked young man appeared on the screen, holding a microphone in one hand and a sheaf of notes in the other. ‘Well, Sarah, as we now know, what they’ve discovered the other side of these woods is the body of a man said to be in a fairly decomposed state …’
Vivienne’s head started to spin.
‘The police haven’t made an official statement yet, so we don’t know if they’ve been able to identify the body. If they have, obviously next of kin will have to be informed before— Hang on, I think we’re going to an aerial shot now, yes we are.’ The screen changed to an overview of the eastern side of the moor, vast and undulating, and forbiddingly bleak. Then the camera made a quick zoom in to a small cluster of activity, partially masked by trees, where men in pale-coloured overalls and others in fluorescent police jackets were moving between randomly parked vehicles and a newly erected incident tent. ‘A forensic team arrived about half an hour ago,’ the reporter was saying. ‘They’ll obviously be carrying out a thorough examination of the scene before taking away any evidence they gather …’