Missing Lily (Tales of Dalthia) (14 page)

“Why?” she asked quietly.

I took a deep breath and blew it out. “I don’t know if I even know why. I was just...pulled there. I sat looking down on the house, afraid to get any closer, but unable to leave.”

“Did you see Lord Fallon?”

“Yes.” My gaze fell to my hands as they twisted in my lap.

“And?” she prompted.

“I wanted him to know that I am well. But I couldn’t just show up. I couldn’t see him again, after all that he had done for me, and tell him that I’d lied. What good would that do?”

“He’s going to find out eventually.” I looked at her, unable to respond. “You’re a princess, Lylin. Do you really think he’s not going to recognize you?”

“I wrote a letter to him ages ago. But I haven’t convinced myself to send it.”

She digested that for a moment. “So, what happened yesterday?”

“I saw Rhys leaving the manor. He went riding and I decided to knock on the front door and tell Rosamond I was fine.”

“You spoke to her?”

I nodded. “I told her I was all right. I told her not to worry. And I asked her to let Lord Fallon know.” I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, still unsure if what I’d done was right. “When I saw him I couldn’t stand the idea of him needlessly worrying anymore.”

“And then you just came back?”

I shook my head. “I watched until he returned.” I had to swallow back my emotions. “And then I watched him ride after me.”

Ella’s face was equal parts shock and compassion. “Lylin—”

“I know,” I cut her off. “I should have just left it alone.”

“No, that’s not what I was going to say. You and Lord Fallon were more than just friends.”

I quickly dashed away a few tears. “No, we weren’t.”

“But you wanted to be.”

I threw my hands up. “I knew him for four days, Ella.” My voice rose in frustration. “You can’t become more than friends in only four days.”

“Of course you can.” Her calm assertion irritated me. “I’m not saying you’re in love with him, but you care for him as more than a friend.”

“It’s doesn’t matter. He’s engaged.”

Ella shut her eyes, probably reprimanding herself. “Right.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lylin, I forgot. You’re right; it’s doesn’t matter. It’s good that he’ll know you’re well. Send the letter when you get home, and be done with it.”

I blew out a breath, nodding. It was good to have Ella on my side, telling me what to do.

“Now,” she declared, shaking off the seriousness of our discussion. “We shall go riding, and you will ignore Nathaniel to your heart’s content.”

I laughed a little and admitted, “It’s really not his fault.”

“I know, which is why we won’t insult him by asking him to stay behind.”

***

It didn’t take much to ignore Nathaniel. He had fallen back into a more formal position. We rode in the opposite direction from Fallon manor and had only gone a little ways before Ella spoke up.

“Shall we race, then?”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “It’s never much of a race, Ella.”

“But it’s still fun,” she taunted in a singsong voice.

“For you,” he sang back.

“Lylin will race with me, won’t you?”

“You can hardly call it a race when the winner is predetermined,” I pointed out.

Ella sighed, exasperated. “Neither of you have any sense of adventure.”

A grin slipped over my lips. “Never doubt my sense of adventure,” I warned before heeling my horse, leaning low over her neck as I tried to give myself an advantage. My lead did not last long. Inevitably, Ella galloped into my peripheral vision and I considered calling an end to the race and declaring myself the victor but decided to push a little harder and try to keep up. I often forgot what a pleasure it was to ride with Ella. She found a joy and an escape in riding that made it exhilarating to be alongside her. My skill would never compare to hers, because I could never let go with the abandon she did, but I always enjoyed the attempt.

We rode all over the estate before turning our mounts toward the house. Gavin and Ella were caught up in their own conversation, so I hung back a ways. Nathaniel moved his horse up alongside mine and we rode in silence for several moments before he spoke.

“I can speak with your father about putting someone else in charge of your security if you prefer.”

His suggestion surprised me. “You’re abandoning me after one disagreement?”

He finally turned to look at me. “Of course not, Highness. But you’re clearly upset with how I’ve handled things. And I can’t protect you effectively if you won’t let me.”

I gave an exasperated sigh. “Nathaniel, I’m not suddenly going to start disappearing at every opportunity. Yesterday was an isolated incident. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with my security.”

“If you trust me, then tell me where you went yesterday.”

His request caught me off guard. Where I’d gone wasn’t a secret; I just hadn’t wanted him to know beforehand. “Fallon manor borders this estate. I went there.”

His brow furrowed. “Fallon manor is where you spent the four days after...”

“Yes.”

“They know who you are?”

“No.” He was about to ask another question, but I cut him off. “It was just something I felt I needed to do.”

He considered that for a moment. “Next time there is something you feel you need to do, let me know.” I kept my mouth shut, not willing to promise anything, though I had no intention of repeating yesterday’s offense. “Princess, I can protect you and still give you space when you need it. I understand that there are times when you don’t want an audience. But I still need to be close by.”

His suggestion was generous and more than I deserved, so I agreed and we rode on.

Chapter 12

M
Y
JAW
CLENCHED
as the carriage jutted over yet another bump in the road. After spending more than a week at Ella’s, I was headed home.
 

The journey back to the palace sufficiently reinforced my dislike for carriages, and I climbed gratefully to the ground, surprised when neither of my parents came out to greet me. Instead I walked into the entryway amid a flurry of activity. The steward directed me to my father’s study, where he stood behind his desk.

“Lylin.” He came around to greet me. “I’m so glad you’ve returned. I had not expected you to extend your visit with Ella.”

“Was it a problem?”

“No, I’m just grateful you’re here. I was hoping you would get here before my guest arrived. I do hope you’ll join us for dinner.”

My shoulders sagged. “I have only just returned. I’d hardly be fit for a formal dinner.”

His face fell. “You’re right, of course.” He took my arm and we left his study, heading toward the grand hall. “But I would like you to join us afterwards, so that we might all have the chance to be together.”

His request seemed odd. He didn’t usually require my company when he entertained.

“Much has happened in your absence, Lylin. I would have preferred to have had the time to speak with you about it before now, but I believe he is just arriving.”

 
“Then I will run upstairs and change, with your permission, Father.”
 
I curtsied and turned to escape.

“Actually, I would like you to stay. I believe you would like to greet our guest.”

That was doubtful. A sigh escaped me as I turned back and tried to smile. “Very well. And who might this guest be?”

He only smiled and said, “You’ll see.” Before I could ask for clarification, he looked past me and his eyes lit up. “And here he comes now. Lord Fallon!” he called out, walking past me.

I pulled in a sharp breath before looking over my shoulder. He was there, striding toward my father.
 

Rhys.

My father embraced him like a son—something I had never witnessed before. Their greeting was heartfelt and genuine. Rhys glanced at me, then looked to my father before his eyes snapped back to me. His face lost its color. I couldn’t blame him. As surprised as I was to see him in my home, I at least knew his true identity, while he would just now be discovering mine.
 

“Lily?”

I turned to face him fully, speechless.

“Ah yes,” my father said with a broad sweep of his arm. “Only she is not Lily.” He pulled Rhys a few steps closer. “This lovely girl whom you so graciously looked after is, in fact, my youngest daughter, Lylin.”

Rhys’s eyes widened, then turned to my father, looking at him as though asking for confirmation. When his gaze came back to me, his face filled with confusion, as well as something else. His eyes stayed on my face, though his question was directed at my father. “Your daughter?” he asked slowly.

“Yes, Lord Fallon. I am most indebted to you for the great care you took in looking after my youngest.”

I sank into a curtsey, my hands clutched in front of me, my knuckles turning white. I rose on trembling knees, and he remembered his manners in time to execute a formal bow.
 

“It was an honor.” There was a distinct pause before he said, “Princess.” Not only was it an acknowledgement, but an accusation.
 

“Lord Fallon,” I barely managed to whisper. Neither of us moved as we assessed the other. There were no words.

My father’s voice broke the spell. “And here is my other daughter.” I looked to see that he was gesturing to Lorraina, who had just stepped into the hall. “This,” he paused as Lorraina drew closer. “Is Lorraina.” The way my father made this introduction was different than the way he had introduced me. It held more meaning. I turned to look at Rhys, to see if he sensed the same weight in the introduction as I did. He turned to Lorraina and instead of giving her the steely, all-consuming gaze which he had bestowed on me, he smiled at her in an overly polite, almost friendly manner—though I could see it was forced.
 

“Lorraina,” my father continued. “This is Lord Rhys Fallon.”

A crushing weight settled on my chest as the enormity of what this introduction meant fell into place. My parents had chosen Rhys for Lorraina. I couldn’t breathe.

Rhys took a deep breath. “It is a great pleasure to meet you, Princess Lorraina.” He took her hand, bowing low over it. “I look forward to better making your acquaintance.”

“As do I, Lord Fallon.” She smiled sweetly, but it was less glowing than I would have expected after having been presented with a genteel man who had already agreed to marry her.
 

“Lord Fallon, if you would escort the princess into the dining hall, I will join you shortly.”

Rhys gave my father a deferential bow of the head. “Of course, Your Majesty.” He turned and offered his arm to Lorraina, and they made a grand exit, while I stood speechless, drenched with envy, and more than a little horrified.

“I think they will get on well,” my father commented.

“Pardon?” I asked, though I was apprehensive of any further explanation.

“I’ve been worried about this arrangement,” my father admitted. “They’ve both changed in the years since. But from what you’ve told me, I believe he will take very good care of her.”

I tried my best to hide my panicked breathing. “The arrangement for Lorraina is with Lord Fallon?” I knew it was, but I hoped that just maybe I was horribly mistaken.

“It is.” He turned to me, looking triumphant. “Your sister will be married next year.”

“Why did you not mention it after I met him?”

“I could not share the news with you before we told Lorraina. Do you approve?”
 

I could tell by the look on his face and the way he asked me that he expected me to be something akin to ecstatic about the arrangement. I looked down, trying to formulate a truthful response, but one that wouldn’t give away my devastation. “Lord Fallon is a most deserving gentleman. I can think of none better.”

He looked away, his chest swelling with pride. “His father was a great friend. I miss him dearly.”

I had to escape. “If you’ll excuse me, Father. I really don’t feel well.”

“Of course, my dear.”
 

I turned and nearly ran up to my chamber. I slammed my door behind me, pushing both hands into the wood, my arms straight, my feet braced against the floor, as if it needed to be held closed by force. My head hung limp between my stiff arms as I breathed heavily—out of breath from my flight up the stairs, short of breath because of the tumult rolling through my chest.
 

The fact that Rhys was betrothed was not news. I had already known that. But to Lorraina?
Lorraina
?

It made sense, with our fathers being so close, yet the reality of it, the reality of seeing Rhys with Lorraina...I choked on the thought, squeezing out several tears that fell straight to the floor.

I forced myself to take a deep breath, to stand up straight. I had never deluded myself into thinking that I could have any sort of relationship with Rhys. No doubt this would be far more trying than if I had simply never seen him again, but the ending was the same. He would be married and I would be alone. Shoving my emotion down, I walked over to my writing table, snatched up the letter that had been sitting there for weeks, and tore it to shreds before casting the pieces to the floor. An explanatory letter was useless now. However, there was still need for thanks, so I sat down and penned my gratitude while leaving out the introduction. He would receive my thanks and that would be the end of it.