Mistress of His Revenge (Bought by the Brazilian #1) (14 page)

‘Exactly. You wanted your child, not me.’

‘Deus.’
He slammed his hand down on the table. ‘We both had a duty to do the best for our child.’

‘I don’t believe a shotgun wedding is in the best interests of a child, and I should know because I am the product of such a marriage. Most of the time, my parents couldn’t even be civil to one another.’

‘You were eighteen, I’d got you pregnant through my carelessness the one occasion I failed to use protection and I was trying to do the right thing,’ Cruz said frustratedly. ‘Why don’t you be honest and admit that you felt trapped when you fell pregnant?’

‘I did not resent my pregnancy,’ Sabrina insisted. ‘But it changed things between us. You were angry that I refused to marry you, and you stopped making love to me, I assumed because you found my pregnancy a turn-off.’

‘It wasn’t that.’ Cruz was stunned by Sabrina’s revelation. He recalled the nights when he had lain next to her in his small bed at his parents’ cottage and fought his overwhelming desire to make love to her. ‘My mother had explained that it wasn’t safe for us to have sex once you were pregnant.’

Sabrina remembered that Cruz had said his mother had suffered numerous miscarriages, which might have made her believe in the old wives’ tale. ‘Pregnancy is not an illness. Millions of women continue with their ordinary daily activities during pregnancy, including having sex. If you had talked to me rather than your mother we might have avoided many of the misunderstandings that came between us,’ she said bitterly. ‘Don’t you think it’s ironic that we are finally talking about our relationship ten years after it ended?’

She jumped up from the table and marched into the adjoining bedroom, feeling frustrated that so much had been unsaid between them ten years ago. But perhaps if she had stayed in Brazil instead of rushing back to Eversleigh Hall they might have stood a chance of resolving their differences. In hindsight she could see that she had been as much to blame as Cruz for the breakdown in communication between them.

She heard him follow her into the bedroom. ‘Talking wasn’t part of our relationship, was it?’ She sighed. ‘The truth is that we barely knew each other when I became pregnant. Up until then we had just had sex, a lot of sex, but sex wasn’t enough to build a relationship on ten years ago and it isn’t enough now.’

‘Well, fortunately I don’t want to build a relationship.’

Something in Cruz’s tone sent a ripple of warning down Sabrina’s spine and she glanced over at him to see him shrug out of his coffee-stained shirt and screw it into a ball.

* * *

Sabrina had almost sounded convincing when she had said that the reason she had refused to marry him was because she had been affected by her parents’ unhappy marriage, Cruz brooded. But he knew it wasn’t the truth. He was convinced that she had rejected him because he had not been rich and successful. She had decided that he was not good enough for her and she had made him feel that his love wasn’t good enough.

It seemed to be a recurring theme, he thought grimly. He had adored his father, but deep in his heart he felt that Vitor had cared more about finding a flawless diamond than he’d cared about his family. Although Cruz blamed Earl Bancroft for his father’s accident, the painful truth was that Vitor’s obsession with diamonds had contributed to his death. Cruz had been left to care for his mother and sisters, and he had tried,
Deus
, he had tried so hard to comfort his mother. But she had been inconsolable, and once again Cruz had felt that whatever he did and however hard he worked to support his family, it was not enough to lift his mother from her grief.

His jaw hardened. Sabrina had ripped his heart out when she had left him years ago, but there was no chance that she would hurt him again.

‘When you lost the baby it gave you the excuse to return to your precious Eversleigh Hall and a luxurious lifestyle that you were never going to have with a miner from a
favela
,’ he accused her harshly. ‘Ten years ago you thought that all I was good enough for was sex. Now our situations are reversed and all I want from you is sex, a lot of sex,’ he mimicked her words. ‘That’s what I paid you for.’

Sabrina’s eyes clashed with his glittering gaze as she watched him walk towards her. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ It was a stupid question, she acknowledged. Cruz’s sculpted features had hardened with sexual intent that sent a quiver of anticipation through her. It had been the same when they had first met in Brazil, she thought ruefully. They had ripped each other’s clothes off at every opportunity and had explosive sex.

‘Cruz...’ She held out her hand as if to ward him off, but she knew as well as he did that it was a token protest. Excitement licked like wildfire through her veins as he unbuckled his belt and in a few deft movements rid himself of his trousers, shoes and socks and lastly the black silk boxers that had been unable to disguise his powerful erection.

He flicked open the belt of her robe, stripped her and scooped her into his arms. In two strides he reached the bed and dropped her onto the mattress. She really could not let him dominate her like this, Sabrina told herself, but he thwarted her attempt to slide across the bed by pushing her flat on her back and with firm hands took hold of her ankles, hooking her legs over his shoulders.

‘I’m not interested in the past,’ he told her. ‘All I’m interested in is finding the map of the diamond mine that I’m sure your father hid somewhere in Eversleigh Hall. You sold yourself to me and I will hold you to your agreement to be my mistress for six months, whether you like it or not.’ He smiled down at her flushed face. ‘But you do like it, don’t you,
gatinha
? From your response to me last night I bet you have never found another man who can satisfy you like I can.’

Sabrina wanted to deny his arrogant boast, but she couldn’t, damn him. Desire coiled in the pit of her stomach and she arched her hips as he lowered his mouth to her feminine heart. His warm breath stirred the tight blonde curls between her thighs and she shuddered with longing. But he made her wait with her legs spread wide, waiting for him to run his tongue up and down her moist opening before he finally gave in to her husky plea and bestowed a shockingly intimate caress that drove her swiftly to the edge of ecstasy.

He used his fingers to keep her there while he sheathed himself and then he penetrated her with a slow, deep thrust that filled her, completed her. She wrapped her arms around his back as he began to move, driving into her with a steady rhythm that devastated her. Cruz remained in complete control while she writhed and moaned beneath him, and Sabrina, remembering her decision the previous night to fight for him and try to win his heart, wondered despairingly if he even had a heart.

CHAPTER NINE

T
HEY
DROVE
TO
Eversleigh Hall that afternoon. Sabrina remained silent for the journey, feeling mortified as she remembered how she had lost all her inhibitions and come apart utterly when Cruz had made love to her. Thankfully he had headed into the en-suite immediately after he had withdrawn his body from hers and by the time he had emerged after taking a shower she had managed to hide her shattered emotions behind a mask of cool composure.

‘I want to start searching for the map immediately,’ he told her as they walked into the house. ‘We won’t be able to spend much time in Surrey because I have work and social commitments in London and various other European cities.’

Sabrina frowned. ‘Surely you don’t expect me to get involved in your business dealings? Why can’t I stay here while you travel abroad?’

‘The point of paying you to be my mistress is that you will be available whenever I want you,’ he said silkily.

She bristled at his arrogant assumption that he could simply take over her life. ‘I thought I had explained that I have a job at the local university, and I also do freelance work restoring antique furniture. My career is important to me and my commitment to my role as a lecturer is non-negotiable.’

‘Perhaps I should remind you that you are not in a position to negotiate anything. For the next six months your only commitment is to your role as my mistress. I will also need you to show me the secret hiding places where your father might have put the map.’

She flushed at his reminder that she had sold herself to him. It occurred to her that if the map was found quickly, Cruz would presumably return to his diamond mine in Brazil and hopefully he would leave her in peace. ‘I’ll give you a tour of the house,’ she said coolly, somehow managing to disguise the riot of emotions inside her. ‘We’ll start in the library.’

Sabrina swept past him, and Cruz cursed beneath his breath. She did not have to look so wounded, damn it. He had given her the means to save her precious stately home so why the hell did he feel so goddamned guilty? He followed her into the library. ‘Which days do you work at the university?’

‘Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but I didn’t work this week because it is a reading week for the students.’

He shrugged. ‘Most of our social engagements are at weekends, and it is likely that we will stay at Eversleigh during the week, meaning that you will be able to fulfil your lecturing contract.’

Sabrina shot him a startled look. Cruz almost sounded as though he understood that her career meant a lot to her. It was all she had that alleviated the burden of responsibility she felt for Eversleigh, she thought bleakly. She had a flashback to the first night he had paid an unexpected visit to the hall. When he had kissed her she’d felt as though he had brought her back to life after she had merely existed for the ten years that they had been apart. She suddenly wished that they could have met again simply as two people who were attracted to each other instead of them playing a strange game of blame and revenge.

She walked over to where he was standing by the window and followed his gaze over the immaculately kept gardens and the view of the beautiful Surrey countryside.

‘I’m not surprised that you wanted to rush back here rather than live with me in a run-down miner’s cottage in Brazil,’ he commented. ‘It must have been an incredible place to grow up.’

Sabrina was silent for a moment, thinking of her lonely childhood. Cruz believed that her life had been perfect. When they had been lovers he had been sensitive about what he had perceived as the difference in their social status. She wished she could make him understand that having money did not equate to happiness.

‘I realise I was lucky to live in a big house and I attended the best schools. But although I had material things, I didn’t have what you had.’ He gave her a sardonic look and she knew he was thinking that she lived in a luxurious stately home while he had grown up in a Brazilian slum. ‘Your parents loved you and made you feel part of a family,’ she reminded him. ‘My brother and I were mainly cared for by nannies. My father was rarely at Eversleigh, and even before my mother left us she was busy with her own life.’

She moved across the room and slid open one of the wooden wall panels. ‘This is a priest hole where Catholic priests used to hide hundreds of years ago when they were persecuted for their faith. Tristan and I called it the choker,’ she explained when Cruz put his head inside the cramped, dark space. ‘One particularly unkind nanny who came to look after us used to lock us in here as a punishment. When the panel is closed no light can get in. I didn’t care so much, but Tristan used to be terrified.’

‘Why didn’t you tell your parents that the nanny was guilty of physical and mental child cruelty?’

‘My mother had moved to France, and my father spent most of his time in Brazil.’ Sabrina gave a rueful smile. ‘The nanny didn’t stay at Eversleigh for long. Tristan put a grass snake in her bed and she left the next day. He did it because the nanny had upset me,’ she explained. ‘Tris had never seen me cry before. When I was a young child I learned not to show my emotions because my father couldn’t abide what he called snivelling and self-pity. But the nanny had said that my mother had moved away because she obviously didn’t love me...’ her voice faltered ‘...and I realised it was the truth.’

She shut the panel and looked at Cruz. ‘You often point out that I had a privileged upbringing but the reality is that I felt lonely and unloved during my childhood. I never felt a close emotional bond with my parents.’

Cruz was shocked by Sabrina’s revelations about her upbringing. The picture she had painted did not match the image he had of her as a spoiled princess who had wanted for nothing and who had believed that he was not good enough for her ten years ago. Was it possible that he had misjudged her? He pushed the unwelcome thought away.

‘Am I supposed to feel sorry for you, poor little rich girl?’ he mocked. ‘In the
favela
, the shack where I lived as a boy had two tiny rooms and no electricity or running water. I never even saw a green space or a flower. The piece of rough ground where I used to play with the other slum kids had an open sewer running next to it, but after a while you get used to the stench,’ he said grimly.

His jaw hardened. ‘My father worked in the diamond mine because he wanted to earn money to give his family the chance of a better life. But he paid with his own life because your wealthy, privileged father sent him into an area of the mine that he knew was dangerous.’

Sabrina’s temper flared. ‘You are so sure that my father was responsible for the accident, but he isn’t here to defend himself and so I must. I don’t believe he would have deliberately put the men who worked in his mine at risk. I admit he wasn’t the best father to me and my brother but he was,
is
,’ she corrected herself because she had to believe the earl would return to Eversleigh, ‘an honourable man. I’m desperately sorry that your father died, but perhaps there is another explanation for his death.’

‘What explanation could there be?’ Cruz demanded.

‘It must be wonderful to have your supreme self-assurance and the belief that only you can be right,’ she said bitterly. ‘You refuse to listen, and it was the same ten years ago. You were adamant that we should marry when I became pregnant, even though we didn’t really know each other.’