Misty Lake: Book One in the Misty Lake Series (14 page)

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s…well, I found a letter. A letter from my grandfather.” It sounded stupid when she said it out loud and Sam was suddenly embarrassed. “You know what? Let’s just forget it.”

“Why should we forget it? Did you learn something upsetting?”

Embarrassed and uncomfortable, Sam was unable to meet Jake’s eyes as she whispered, “I haven’t read it yet.”

Jake took her in his arms. “I can understand not wanting to be alone when you read the letter. I know you have questions, questions you thought would never be answered. It’s got to be a little scary thinking some of the answers might be in there and that they might not be the answers you want.”

How had he completely hit it on the head? She didn’t think she could have put her own feelings into words better than Jake had just done. “Okay,” she agreed, steeling herself and getting the letter from the back of the kitchen drawer where she had hidden it.

Her resolve wavered some when she held it in her hands again but she forced herself to sit down next to Jake and slide her finger under the flap easing the envelope open. Again, as if knowing her thoughts better than she did, he said, “I’ll be right here. You read it, if you want to share any of it with me, fine. If not, that’s fine, too.”

Sam gave his hand a squeeze and unfolded the paper, taking in the lines of her grandfather’s neat and precise handwriting. She had teased him, she remembered, about being the only doctor whose writing was legible. His reply had been, ‘If you’re going to do something, do it right, Samantha, even if it’s something as simple as penmanship.’ He was always teaching, giving her advice, she realized now. She told herself that no matter what she read it wouldn’t change her feelings toward her grandfather. She loved him, she always had, and he had done his best raising two kids long after he thought school conferences and curfews were behind him. With a final glance at Jake, she began to read.

My Dearest Samantha,

My hope is that you’re reading this when you need it the most. Since you’ve made your way to Misty Lake and found the home and workshop I left for you, that means I’m gone and you must be feeling very alone in the world. And, I’m sure you’re angry with me as you have every right to be, but I hope you will read to the end and give me a chance to explain.

First, I love you, Samantha. You are an incredible woman and I have been proud of you since you were a child. You are kind, generous, and fiercely loyal. I love all of my grandchildren but you have always held a special place in my heart. The day we lost your parents and your grandmother was the worst day of my life but having you and Danny with me meant I still had a part of your father with me. Maybe it was selfish of me but I couldn’t let you go.

I tried to give you a normal childhood, I hope I didn’t do too poorly. Saying it was difficult losing your grandmother and your parents so suddenly would be a gross understatement. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to bear. But I was determined to give you and Danny as close to a normal life as I could. I know it wasn’t always easy, especially when things with Danny got so difficult, but I did my best, Samantha, please know that. And there were many happy times. Try to remember them.

By now you know that I left letters for your cousins and I’m sure you were hurt when there wasn’t one for you. I just didn’t know how to put into words how badly I wanted you to come to Misty Lake and how much I hoped you would fall in love with the house and stay. I know you remember the happy times we had here when you were a child. I wanted that for you again. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk about it years ago when you asked. It was just too painful. When you finally stopped asking, I was both relieved and sad. I didn’t want your memories to fade but putting it behind me somehow made the loss a little more bearable. I know now I was wrong and hope you can forgive an old man the error of his ways.

There was some money from insurance policies and investments that I set aside, deciding to make do without it and raise you and your brother to appreciate what you had. The money that came from your parents’ estates was always separate, half each for you and Danny to be held until you reached thirty years of age. None of that money went towards the building at Misty Lake. It’s important to me that you understand I would never have made the decision on how to use any money that came from your parents. That was always meant for you and Danny to decide for yourselves. Now, I guess, it will be for you alone to decide.

The idea to rebuild here grew slowly. Once I saw how you took to woodworking, and how you seemed so certain it was what you wanted to do with your life, I wanted to give you what I could and instead of just refurbishing the cabin, I wanted to help you make a life here. But, I know what you do with your life is not my decision. If you decide to sell, to take the money and go someplace far away, please do so without regret. I would only want what you want. Make a life for yourself, Samantha, and make it a good one. Let yourself love again. You’ve had so much pain and loss in your life and I understand the desire to shut down and to shut out. I fought that demon myself but I had you and Danny to help me through. Let someone in; don’t let fear keep you from happiness. It’s no way to live.

I’m sure you’ve got to be wondering why I never told you about the home and workshop. I wanted to, especially after we lost Danny. I pictured the two of us working side by side in that beautiful shop, enough space for both of us to be working on our own projects, the separate room for painting and staining… and the panel saw! It was everything we had talked about and dreamed about. But, the truth is, I was too much of a coward. I was afraid to come back to Misty Lake with you. Afraid to face the past, the loss, the heartache. I came here a few times over the years, always unable to sell but not able to stay, either. My favorite times were the weeks we were all together at the lake and part of me wanted to come back, to make new memories, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you. Again, I hope you are able forgive me.

So, Samantha, make your decisions and do so with a clear conscience. Whatever you decide, you will make me proud. All I ask is that you let yourself truly live and love.

All my love,

Granddad

Sam read the letter twice before looking up and before realizing her face was wet with silent tears. She was a jumble of emotions, the letter having brought up feelings about her parents’ death, her brother’s death, her childhood, things she had tried to bury deep. As she stared out at the moonlit lake, she could imagine her grandfather feeling a lot of the same as he wrote the letter. He had never talked much about his feelings but Sam knew they were always there, close to the surface.

Did she feel better after reading the letter? A tough question, she thought. Better, in that she had some answers, at least answers as well as her grandfather had been able to provide them. Confused, as her grandfather had given her an okay to do as she pleased with the property. What did she want to do? She stared out at the lake as if it held answers. Finally, she looked over at Jake who was sitting silently, waiting. She gave him a small half smile and dropped her head onto his shoulder. She felt wiped out. His arm went around her and held on.

They talked, eventually. Sam shared some of the details of the letter but didn’t ask Jake to read it. It felt too personal. She told him, though, that her grandfather talked about wanting to come back to Misty Lake but felt like he couldn’t face it, with or without her.

“I guess I’m having a hard time not being angry about that. He couldn’t face it yet expected me to. Rationally, I know he gave me all he had, all he could, while I was growing up and then this, at the end,” she said, lifting her arms to take in all that surrounded her. “But he had to know how difficult it would be for me to come here alone.”

“I think he did know, Sam, just didn’t know what else to do. From what you’ve said, it sounds as though he struggled with how to handle things. I’m sure he didn’t come to the decision easily.”

“I know, but together we could have overcome the past so much easier! At least I could have,” she added less forcefully.

“He was getting older. Maybe when he wrote the letter he knew he didn’t have too much time left.  Maybe he didn’t want to throw something else at you so soon after you lost your brother and then have to face losing him in a strange place, a home that, even though it was new, held old memories. And this way it really is a fresh start. Assuming your grandfather had passed away here, at home, that would be something else you would have to face day after day.”

Sam nodded. Jake made sense, she knew that, but she still felt somehow betrayed. Keeping so much from her, especially when it had been just the two of them dealing with Danny’s death and struggling to move forward, seemed wrong. This would have given them something new to focus on, something to think about, something to do instead of spending endless days walking through the rooms where Danny had once lived and laughed.

Finally, she gave a sigh and stood. She wasn’t going to solve everything tonight. She had things to think about, her future to think about, but it was going to take some time. A glance at the clock told her it was after midnight and she was exhausted. “Thank you for everything tonight, Jake. I enjoyed the dinner and appreciate you being here with me. It was really very kind of you and you’ve helped me look at some of what my grandfather said from a different perspective.”

“I’m glad you asked, glad you felt like you could.” Jake drew her close and kissed her, a slow tender kiss meant to soothe and relax. He wanted to ease the worry from her mind, to erase the sadness and distress from her eyes. He ran a hand up and down her back and felt the tension slowly leave her muscles. Reluctantly, he drew back and looked into her eyes. “I’ll call you in the morning but promise me you’ll call me earlier if you want to talk.”

Sam nodded and gave her promise. She could share the worry, the unknown, with Jake. That’s what friends were for, she reminded herself. And Jake was her friend. She would let him in and let him help. She smiled a little to herself as she thought back to the night before and her determination to find some friends and how her grandfather’s letter had asked her to do just that.

12

The rest of the week was a blur for Sam. The temperature continued to climb and along with it, tension in her class. The kids’ tempers were short, they were frustrated with their work and with each other. Jackson had started to repair his jewelry box but had been so unhappy with the way it looked, had started over and now was rushing to make up for lost time. Davis needled everyone, barely working on his project but finding fault with everyone else’s. He managed to have both Katie and Jimmy in tears during one particularly long morning. Sam found herself looking forward to the end of the week and the midsummer break over the Fourth of July.  The kids would be spending the week in the Boundary Waters and Sam would have a week to herself. They all needed a break.

The bright spot of the week came on Thursday morning when Katie came to class smiling and with a bounce in her step. She was going home. When the rest of the kids left on Friday for their camping trip, Katie would be heading home to her father who was out of the hospital and doing well enough to care for his children. Sam was happy for Katie. She helped her finish up her step stool and listened as Katie chatted excitedly. Even Davis couldn’t dim her spirits as she told Sam about her apartment, her friends, and Blackie, the cat she hoped they would be able to get back from the neighbor who had taken him when her dad had first gotten sick. Sam gave her a hug when Bev came to pick up the kids. Katie called out promises to email and send pictures of Blackie as she skipped into the van for the last time.

It was with a sigh of relief that Sam turned back to the shop. She had the rest of the day and the next ten days to work on the china cabinet and a few other small jobs she had in her queue. The china cabinet was coming along nicely and working on it gave Sam a sense of calmness. She had been a little hesitant at first as the beginning stages had been difficult. Memories bombarded her as she remembered her grandmother bringing out her beloved china for a special Christmas dinner when her grandmother’s sister visited from Germany. She remembered countless other holidays and family dinners when her grandfather suggested she bring it out only to have her grandmother skillfully deflect the idea saying the kids were having fun, she didn’t want to have to tell them to slow down just because the nice dishes were on the table.

Eventually, though, she concentrated on the words her grandfather left her in his letter, asking her to be happy, to remember the good times, and to move forward with her life, making of it whatever she wanted. And once she tried to do as he had asked, working on the china cabinet became both a tie to her past and a window to her future. As she ran her hand over the smooth oak she smiled and reached over to turn on the music.

Sam worked well past dark, pausing only to grab a quick bite and to exercise the dog. When she finally wrapped things up and stood back to assess her progress, she was pleased. The frame of the cabinet was done, sitting in sections to be put together later, but done. She had the wood cut for the doors and would start gluing tomorrow. The drawer fronts would be next, cut to match the raised design of the doors. There was still a lot of detail work as she intended to add scallops around the top and bottom as well as incorporate sectioned drawers, wine glass holders, and plate racks. It was a big project and Sam still didn’t know where she’d put it or what she’d put in it when it was done, but building it was cathartic.

As she showered and got ready for bed, Sam realized her plans to get out and meet people hadn’t exactly been realized. It had been a crazy week, though, she reasoned. With the coming Fourth of July holiday she’d have time to get into town, maybe call Karen and see if she was free for coffee or lunch, stop in at the bank and check in with Lynn. She could do those things, she told herself. It wouldn’t be weird to call someone, stop in to say hi, people did it all the time, right?

She was doing a pretty fair job of psyching herself up when her cell phone buzzed. She glanced at the time, her heart jumping as she reverted for a moment to the days when phone calls at night almost always meant bad news. She took a deep breath. It was only ten o’clock and it was only Jake. And this was now, not then. She thought her voice sounded reasonably normal as she answered the phone.

Fifteen minutes later when she hung up, she was wishing she hadn’t answered. No, that wasn’t entirely true. She had enjoyed talking to Jake, hearing about his day, and sharing hers with him. It was the invitation he had extended, that she had tried to turn down but had eventually agreed to, that had her panicking. A family picnic at his parent’s house sounded downright intimidating. Yes, she wanted to meet people, she really did, but so many at once? It would mean answering the same questions over and over, people wanting to know how she ended up in Misty Lake, wanting to know about the house they watched being built on the lake. Questions she either couldn’t or wouldn’t want to answer. She had tried using Rigi as an excuse, saying she couldn’t possibly leave her home alone all day, but Jake had assured her she could bring the dog along.

Sunday. The annual McCabe family Fourth of July picnic. Only a couple days to mentally ready herself. She’d meet his entire family, from the way it sounded. His parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, even a couple of great aunts. Not to mention half the town. According to Jake, his parents had been hosting a picnic for years and it seemed to grow bigger every summer. Sam had never been much of a drinker. She considered starting.

Jake picked her up on Sunday, a gesture she appreciated and he had insisted upon even though it meant he had to drive from town out to the lake then back to town to his parents’ house. She really hadn’t wanted to arrive alone. She had insisted on bringing something even when Jake assured her there would be more food than could ever be eaten, so she was juggling a platter of brownies and a pasta salad as they made their way to the front door. Jake tied the dog outside then walked in and led her to a kitchen that was a beehive of activity.

Sam stood a moment and took it all in. Buns were being sliced, crockpots stirred, and hamburger patties formed. Someone let go with a booming laugh and there were somewhat more subdued chuckles all around, Jake and Sam having apparently just missed the punch line of a particularly good joke. Sam spotted Karen standing at the sink washing fruit. When Joe walked up behind her and kissed the top of her head, Karen turned and noticed Sam. She gave a smile and a wave that Sam clumsily attempted to return without dropping the food she was carrying. When Joe spotted them and said loudly, “Welcome to the jungle, Sam!” it quickly grew quiet and everyone seemed to stare. Sam felt her cheeks heating as a striking woman with short, shiny black hair and eyes that were identical to Jake’s came forward with her arms extended.

“Sam, welcome to our home. I’m so happy to meet you, Jake has told us so much about you.” Then, in one swift move, she had the dishes out of Sam’s hands and her arms around her in a welcoming hug.

Sam, a little taken aback at the intimate greeting, stammered out her hello and thank you. As Jake’s mother drew back, Jake put his arm around Sam’s shoulders and said, “Sam, my mom, Anna McCabe. Mom, Samantha Taylor.” When a smiling, red-haired man with bright blue eyes approached, Jake repeated the introductions with his father.

“Mr. and Mrs. McCabe, it’s a pleasure to meet you both. Thank you for having me today.”

“Please, it’s Sean and Anna,” Jake’s mother insisted. “And don’t you look lovely!” she added, stepping back to look at Sam. “Jake, you didn’t tell us she was beauty queen material.”

Sam didn’t know how to respond but was saved by Jake who hugged his mother and whispered, “Easy, Mom.”

Sean shook Sam’s hand and asked, “How are you settling in? Is Misty Lake starting to feel like home?”

His eyes sparkled and it appeared he had just come in from the sun as his cheeks and arms were pink and covered with freckles that seemed to spread before her eyes. He stood about an inch taller than Jake and, she guessed, outweighed him by thirty pounds. If she had met him elsewhere she knew she would have found him intimidating and guessed he had used his size to his advantage during his years as sheriff. But now, seeing him smile and watching him turn to put an arm around his wife and squeeze her shoulders, she instantly liked him.

“I’m adjusting,” she answered. “It’s a different way of life than in Chicago but I like it. I’m starting to enjoy the lake, have even started swimming again, and my dog loves it here,” she added and wondered where all that had come from, why she felt like she could tell him anything.

“I’m glad to hear that. We’re pretty proud of our town, aren’t we Jake?” Without waiting for an answer, he added, “If you need any help out there, you just let me know.  The boys and I can take care of just about anything that needs taking care of. Isn’t that right, Anna?” Again, before his wife could answer he turned to Jake and said, “Round up a couple of your brothers and get the volleyball net set up. People will be arriving soon, there’s work to be done. Samantha, you make yourself at home and enjoy yourself today,” he said with a wink as he shooed Jake out the door and into the backyard. 

Left alone with a kitchen full of women, Sam grew instantly uncomfortable but Anna came to her rescue. “Ladies, this is Sam. Sam, this is everyone. You’ll have a chance to get acquainted later but right now we’ve got food to get on the table. Sam, would you mind helping Karen with the fruit?”

Grateful for something to do, Sam headed for the sink. She washed, sliced, and plated fruit while Karen, keeping her voice below the level of the din, gave her the pertinent details on everyone in the room.

Before she knew it, Sam was in the McCabe’s backyard with over a hundred other people. Cars pulled up, people walked from down the block, kids came bounding from all directions, and everywhere she looked there was food. She met more people than she would ever remember. After she let herself relax and told herself she didn’t owe anyone anything more than she felt comfortable sharing, she enjoyed herself. Jake stayed with her as much as he could but he was often called away to help with something or to join in on a game of volleyball or horseshoes. She chatted with Kathleen and her husband, catching up on Kathleen’s summer with her kids from Project Strong Start and learning about the houses that were going up for sale in town and around the lake. Stu introduced her to Molly who was feeling well enough to join the party. She ran into Lynn, met her husband and her twins, and was a nervous wreck after ten minutes of watching her chase after two toddlers who each wanted to do everything except what the other was doing. How Lynn could always seem to be in two places at once was truly a mystery.

Sam also met the rest of Jake’s siblings and felt reasonably certain she had them all straight. In addition to Joe who was one year younger, there were the twins, Frank and Riley, who were three years younger and Shauna, who was seven years younger than Jake. They were a fun, noisy bunch and Sam felt welcomed by all of them. Shauna, in particular, went out of her way to make Sam feel at home. She chatted, telling Sam about graduating from the University of Minnesota in May with a double major in finance and art. She explained that while she was working at the bank right now, what she really wanted to do one day was open up her own antiques gallery. Sam was drawn in to the young woman’s plans and dreams and wondered if she had ever been so full of hope for the future. Shauna was a bundle of energy and Sam didn’t doubt she’d achieve her dream one day.

When Jake told her he wanted to introduce her to his great aunts saying they would never forgive him if they found out he had a girl there and they hadn’t met her, Sam thought she was ready. Jake seemed almost apologetic, started trying to explain, then just told her she’d see for herself. Sam was a little confused but she had met so many people already, what difference could a couple more make?

Kate and Rose, the widowed sisters of Anna’s mother, were sitting together under a big umbrella on the patio, sipping drinks and both talking at the same time, seeming to be on completely different topics. Sam heard one of the women talking about the turkey gravy their mother used to make while she swore the other was talking about bunions.

“Aunt Rose, Aunt Kate, I’d like you to meet Samantha Taylor,” Jake interrupted.

“What’s that, Jacob? You’re looking for Seth Taylor? I think he died sixty years ago, didn’t he, Rosie?”

“Oh, I think so. At least sixty years. I remember his funeral. It was raining like crazy as we walked from the church to the cemetery.  Seems to me—”

“No, Aunt Kate, I said I want you to meet
Samantha
Taylor. She’s a friend of mine, she just moved to Misty Lake.”

“Oh, a friend of yours?” The woman looked Sam up and down and nodded her approval to Jake. “She’s a pretty one, Jacob, don’t you agree, Rosie?”

“Real pretty,” Rose answered. “You like our boy, do you? He’s a good boy, our Jacob. Did he tell you about the time when I was minding him and the neighbor dog bit him right on the behind? I had to take him to the emergency room, took twelve stitches to patch him up. I bet you still have a scar there, don’t you, Jacob? Let me have a look.” Rose leaned forward in her chair and, with her free hand, reached for Jake.

“Now, Aunt Rose, I’m sure Sam doesn’t want to hear about that,” Jake said as he quickly jumped back out of his aunt’s reach.