Mixed Blessing (Mixed Blessing Mystery, Book 1) (39 page)

And I wanted to believe it. I
wanted
him to be
dead
-dead.

And I didn't. He was my Sire. Even if he killed me. And others. There was no denying the fact, that my life had changed because of him. He brought me to this place, where I have accepted what I am.
Nothus
.

It wasn't a thought I was proud of, but I pushed it aside, hid it beneath the aches assailing my body and then the welcomed feeling of Samson wrapping his arms around me the second my body made it back over the balcony railing. His face nestled into my neck, inhaling deeply, his chest crushed to mine. I smelled his pine needles and musk, felt his
Sanguis Vitam
wrap around me. My own automatically entwining with his.

It felt good. It felt right. My Dark Shadow purred contentedly inside.

Mine
, she whispered to me.
Ours,
she encouraged further.

His lips trailed across my collar bone, a growl of sorts coming from the back of his throat. I arched my head back, allowing him further access - a natural movement that required no thought to perfect - opening myself up to his desire.

I'm not sure if it was the adrenaline of the moment, the fight and near fall making me reckless and blocking all logical thought, but my body responded to his touch as though it was meant to, the Dark Shadow inside urging me on. When his lips found mine, I kissed him back with as much conviction as he kissed me. Our bodies moulded together, the wind still howling around us as we stood wrapped up in each other on that balcony high in the Auckland sky, his lips on mine, his hands securely holding me exactly where he wanted me to be, his tongue meeting and matching the eager movements of mine.

It was bliss. It was heaven. It brought back so many delicious memories I thought I might just cry. The taste of him, the feel of him, the scent of him - so consuming, so beautiful. So right.

He deepened the kiss, he pressed more firmly into my chest, his hands roaming hungrily, his tongue tasting everything I had to offer.

And I let him.

For maybe as long as ten minutes, I'm not sure. I savoured it for that too short time.

And then I forced myself to wake up, my Dark Shadow howling in frustration inside, my heart near to breaking knowing what I was doing, regretting it already, as I pushed him away with both hands. Getting a scowl for my efforts, but I had to remain strong.

He needed a reminder. If he hadn't already comprehended where I come from, from that near-final-death fight I'd just shared with my Sire.

I am Nothus.

And always will be.

I am not who he loved anymore.

It took a while, lots of meetings and interviews and statements, but thankfully by Sunday evening Stu was let out. So, not as long as I had thought, but too long considering the hours I had spent at Central Police Station, including a whole day because the interviews went over and there was no way I was chancing the sun. But, despite the hours of harassment, the inference that I was some gaming geek with a fragile mind that made me "live out" scenarios alongside a controlling and murderous "father figure come sugar daddy" - the daughter tag Xavier had landed me with on tape having to be explained away somehow - it had been all worthwhile.

Stu was free. The powers that be let him out on the evidence I had provided. I wondered why they had been so staunch before and suspected it had something to with Jett. Again he appeared at the police department whilst I was being interviewed. He came in, he left. Stu was released not fifteen minutes later. And now, Xavier was considered the felon, responsible for no less than nine murders. Unfortunately the last victim's flatmates had all been at home and died at his side. But now Stu was free and the Police Department was on the look-out for a miraculously twelve-floor-drop survivor to arrest for the crimes, as there was no body at the scene. But Samson knew better; Xavier died in that fall. The height alone wouldn't have killed him, but my stake had been in his chest and the impact from the fall would have finished him off in the end. Besides, there was only dust at the scene. Copious amounts of it.

My stake though, hadn't been found on the street afterwards, but Samson thought the sweepers had swept it up at the time and was in the process of trying to track it down for me with the council's street working department. It had to have gone somewhere, and that made as much sense as anything, according to Samson.

I wasn't so sure.

I did know that with Vive La Vodka pulled from the shelves - the tape ensuring it needed further testing if not complete destruction - the remainder of the research group was safe. That at least added to the good news. Two things accomplished, even if a part of me believed my Sire had walked free.

He would return and I'd kill him. Or he would not. Besides, I only had just under three months to sort my affairs and then leave. Aliath's contract with me would expire then. I hoped, probably futilely, that there would be no need for him to use my
Hundr
skills during that time. But again, it was out of my hands.

Something would happen that would make him deem my assistance required. If it did, I promised myself I would make my annoyance known to whoever had caused the situation in the first place. For him to use my talents someone would need that help. And that someone would see my anger. It was stupid, but it helped me accept the inevitable, knowing I'd make sure the reason behind my assisting the Grey Lord again would suffer my black mood.

So, three months until I had to leave. Three months in which to avoid Jett and Samson. My Dark Shadow was not impressed with my intentions to hide from both vampires in my life. She considered it cowardice and I could hardly blame her. But, I'd been over and over it in my head. Jett was under a fairy influence which made him want something he would normally not and Samson was in love with a woman who no longer existed.

I am Nothus. It is what I am. For the first time since becoming this thing, I have accepted that fact. I may not enjoy feeding still, but I understand the requirement. I will no longer delay them, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy them.

And my talents. Jett, Samson and even Xavier, said I wasn't using them to their fullest yet. I don't know how to improve on that, I guess it will just take time. Time and a little help from my Dark Shadow.

She seemed happier, if not a little frustrated that I refuse to pick either Samson or Jett to mate with, but it's as though I have settled into my new skin and in the process she has settled beneath it too.

I can work with this I think.

So, a busy few days and busier three months ahead avoiding everyone who pulls some sort of emotional reaction from me. That includes Lucinda, who at this very moment is celebrating at
Sensations
before she and Michel leave forever to live in London.

I was invited, I didn't RSVP. Instead I threw my own party to welcome home Stu. His parents and siblings, Kara and her parents, and anyone else who wanted to celebrate his release was invited. My little apartment was packed. It was fantastic. Even surrounded by so many heartbeats I felt free.

These were the people who meant something to me and I had actually made a difference in their lives. I was standing in my kitchen looking at all my loved ones and sucking back on a Vanilla Vodka - no way was I giving up on my favourite drink just because SubZero had experienced a dud - when Kara sidled up to my side.

"Hey, Gigs!" she greeted with enthusiasm, her own Vanilla Vodka in her hand. She'd asked if I'd had any Vive La Vodka on offer, I'd had to let her down gently, a sure sign that the withdrawals she was about to suffer from would not be nice.

"Hey, you," I replied softly, wrapping an arm about her shoulder.

She leaned in and watched the drunken mayhem unfold before us for a moment, then asked, "Didn't you invite Samson?"

I pulled back and stared at her. Was she mad?

"It's just, he helped out too and Stu would like to thank him," she quickly added at the obvious disapproval on my face.

"He doesn't require any thanks," I muttered and took another sip of my drink.

"He hauled you over the side of that balcony, stopped you falling to your death," she offered, as if I would have died from that fall and that fact would make me willingly invite him into my home. "He helped out at the prison and at that house at Grey Lynn. Not to mention when you searched Alison Danvers home. He rescued you from your... Sire. And he hacked the police computers to get the addresses of all those left alive in the research group," she hurriedly went on after mentioning Xavier.

I stared at her for a second. "Is this the official Samson Beauregard fan club, or just one you've created for yourself?"

She frowned at me. "You could do a lot worse, you know."

"No I couldn't," I argued. There was nothing worse than what I felt for Samson and knowing I was no longer who he had fallen in love with anymore.

"OK, what about Jett?" she asked all bright eyes.

"We're not going to talk about Jett," I said dismissively. There was just too much in favour of
not
getting involved with the Master of the City. Including the fact that I hadn't worked out why he continued to sell Vive La Vodka when he knew what it did to the Norms. He'd even cornered the market,
Sensations
being the only club in town there, for a while, who had any stock. He'd practically purchased the entire production line of SubZero's and Xavier's wicked drink.

"You know he only sold that stuff because he wanted to keep an eye on it," Kara surprised me by saying.

"Do you read minds now?" I demanded, she just smiled back with a wide grin.

"I know you, Gigs. I know how your mind works." We'd been friends a long time, this was true. "He said he was investigating it, you told me that. Once he knew how bad it was he wanted to keep those Norms addicted close at hand. He was doing a good thing, I'm sure."

Kara always saw the good in people, even when they were powerful, blood sucking vampires in charge of all supernaturals in Auckland City.

"You don't know a thing," I whispered and was amazed she'd heard every word.

She spun to face me, her hands firmly placed on each hip. Oh no, the Kara Middleton sass.

"I know a lot," she said with a stomp of her foot. I placed my mixer down on the counter slowly and lifted both hands in a gesture of peace. "I know you think what you have become is a burden, that it's somehow evil and therefore you are too."

"Kara," I warned, but she soldiered on.

"I know you believe there is no good out of what happened, that you should have remained dead."

"Now hang on a minute," I interrupted, but she was in full swing now, luckily the party was too and no one else was paying attention to our little tête-à-tête.

"I know it's hard and I know you hate it and fight what it is that you now are." Oh, she had that part right, so I remained tight lipped. "But look what you accomplished."

She swung her hand in the general direction of Stu, but encompassed the entire filled-to-the-brim apartment in one foul swoop.

"Georgia Louise Deverell." Full name, crunch time. "You saved lives." Her voice had softened. "You got Stu out of prison." Her eyes filled with tears, mine began to threaten to do the same. "I know it sucks." A small giggle at her own pun. "But it is a true blessing."

I'd told Kara once what Lucinda had said. That what I had become was a mixed blessing. That I would come to see I could achieve so much with my new talents, with any vampire skills I had inherited. That I had lived not died, that alone was a blessing. That the needing blood to survive was harsh, that eternity held both good and bad possibilities - she'd know, she's immortal too. But that the bottom line was I could do more as a Nothus than I could ever have done as a human being.

I stared at the determined look on my best friend's face. A true friend, who hadn't baulked when I told her monsters really existed. That I had become one too. A friend who never failed to see the good in everything I had done in my life, including when I had died and been reborn as a Nothus. And who stood before me now and truly believed I had done good these past few days. And that it was because of what I had become.

A burden that is often full of Dark, but equally awash with Light.

Perhaps she was right. Perhaps it was a mixed blessing.

I gave her a bear hug and sent her on her way with happy thoughts, letting her see, for that moment, that I agreed.

Then I tamped down on those feelings, finished my Vanilla Vodka mixer, placed the empty bottle in the rubbish bin and then slipped out of my apartment door.

Mixed blessing or not, I had a Rogue vampire to hunt. Time was marching. Samson may have believed my Sire had met the final death,
but I did not
.

And my Dark Shadow agreed.

The wind, which had been battering the city since the night I fought my Sire, was still in full force when I stepped outside my building. I pulled the collar on my jacket up, providing a small amount of protection from Mother Nature's temper and took a deep breath in through my nose. The wind made deciphering scents difficult, combinations of emotions and signature scents scattered in the air, but my vampire side is not all I am within.

Part Nosferatu, part Nosferatin, that is my mixed blessing. Part Dark, part Light. And the part of me that is all vampire hunter, knew a vampire was near by, and that vampire was washed in Dark and about to strike.

I reached inside my jacket pocket, fingering my stake. Trying in vain to get a bearing on his scent, but failing miserably in the wash of warm night air that swirled around my face.

It didn't take long for him to show himself,
Sanguis Vitam
letting me know just how powerful he was. I didn't recognise his power signature, I had never seen him before in my life. But it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this guy had clout.

Tall, dark haired, broad shoulders stretching an expensive suit jacket and a confident presence that was hard to miss. His full lips lifted up in a smirk, taking my attention away from the stunning silver-grey eyes - flashing platinum here and there - and the large scar trailing down from his right eyebrow, over his temple and cheek.

"Georgia Deverell," he said in a deeply masculine voice. I suddenly felt like a deer in headlights, admitting my name didn't seem like a good idea.

I held his gaze with an impassive one of my own, my Dark Shadow awake and aware and alert.

"Who are you?" I asked, purposely not answering his question first.

His smile turned predatory and when he spoke it was in an anticipatory purr. "I am the Enforcer for the
Iunctio.
"

Oh fuck-a-duck! My life really does suck.