Mobster's Angel (Mobster Series) (7 page)

Brice
didn’t come back to school for the rest of the week, and I didn’t tell a soul about what took place in the limo.  It’s mine.  The whole experience.  Brice gave me something.  And it was something I was looking for.  Strength.

The strength not to be a victim.

I’ve learned something from everyone around me.  Joey taught me to defend myself.  Vito taught me what to look for and to be cautious.  Antonio taught me the code of the Mafia lifestyle.  My sister taught me how to endure, even in the most horrible situations: how to pick up the pieces and move on.

*****

Joey is driving me to the hairdresser.  We worked out this morning.  The ride is quiet, like the entire week has been.  I’m curious if Joey is giving me the silent treatment or if he’s still in shock over the episode at Club Ruin.

“What’s going on, Joey?” I ask.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing is something.  What is it? You
’ve been very quiet.”

He shrugs his shoulders in a
whatever
gesture.  His face is not my Joey.  It’s creased and sad.

“I failed.”

“What?”

“I failed you… and Clarissa. I’m supposed to protect you.  Keep you safe.” He smashes the steering wheel with his hand in anger. 
The sound of the horn startles me.

“You’re beating yourself up over something you couldn’t have controlled. Trust me
, I know.”

“Your parents, Antonio, Megan, Clarissa’s father, Ennio
: they’re all counting on me. I failed.”

Joey stops to look at me, his face is contorted in
the misery of his self-induced shame and grief.

“Look at it this way.
We’re both fine.  You couldn’t have predicted or stopped what happened. What’s done is done.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” he asks
, softly.

“No.”

He pulls the car into a parking spot and I get out.

“Thanks.” I say as I lean down and peer at Joey in the car.  “Thanks for everything.”

I shut the door and head into the salon. I’m revitalized and ready for some changes.  I’ve been coming to the same stylist since I moved here over the winter.  Tiffany does a great job of cutting my thick hair. I hope she can color it just as well.

“Hi Erin.  Have a seat in my chair
. I’ll be right over.”

I sit and peer
at myself in the enormous mirror.  My whole face is looking back at me. It’s not half covered. It’s whole. I smile.

Tiffany comes up behind me
, and her reflection joins mine.    Her hair is always smooth and red carpet ready.  It must be good for business when the hairdresser’s hair is always fabulous.

“What are we doing today?  Cut?”

“I think I want a change.  I want to color it.”

“How about some highlights?  She lifts a few sections of my hair.
We can scatter them,” she suggests.

“No.  I was thinking of coloring my hair… Black.”

Tiffany’s reflection shows her wide eyes.

“This beautiful hair!” Her voice elevates.
  “Black?” she questions.  She stares down at my red hair, horrified.

I nod in assurance.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.  It’ll dry it out.  You’ll be so pale,” Tiffany says in a whining tone.  “Let’s do something else,” she pleads.

“No. Black
.” I confirm.

Tiffany shakes her head in dismay
. “Could I add some copper for texture?”

“No. Black.”

She sighs and walks to the back room to mix the color. A few minutes pass and she comes back carrying a container of inky black liquid.

“Are you sure?” she asks solemnly
, snapping on some rubber gloves.

“Yes,” I say with confidence.

*****

I stare at the new me in Tiffany’s mirror as I call Joey to come and pick me up.

“Hey.”

“I’m all done.”

“That took forever.  How about going out for dinner?” he proposes.

“Sounds good.”

The car pulls up outside the salon.  I come out and see Joey and Clarissa sitting in the front seat.  They see me and instantly form the same horrified faces they had last week after I was kidnapped.

Clarissa rolls down her window, “Oh my God!  What did you do?!” she yells.

“I needed a change,” I tell her.  I get in the backseat.  “Where’re we going?  I’m starving.”

Joey and Clarissa have their mouths
clamped shut.  Faintly, Joey is shaking his head.  He pulls away from the curb.

“Marchetti’s,” he says
, deadpan.

“Good.  I’d love some pasta.”

I meet Antonio at the docks. The night is warm and the smell of summer is in the air. Ronnie and Louie are here, too.  Louie brought a case of beer that we’re all working on.  We haven’t all met here since before Tonio and I left for South Bend last fall.  It feels kind of strange and nostalgic. We’ve been meeting here since we were kids, but so much has happened now.  I guess the biggest thing is Antonio getting married.

“How are the wedding plans coming?” Ronnie mocks in a high-pitched voice
, pretending to be a woman.

Tonio frowns at him.  “Fine.”

Louie laughs at his reaction.  “He’s just fuckin’ with you dude.  It’s cool.  First one to get married.”

Ronnie tosses an empty beer can in a dumpster and pops the top
off a new one.  “Better you than me.  I don’t plan on getting married until I’m thirty.”

“Who’d fucking marry you?” Louie shouts.

“Fuck you!” Ronnie yells back.

The usual relaxation I find by coming here and hanging with my friends is slowly leaving me.  The fuckin’ shit they say is so immature. 

“I was at the food mart the other day.  Mary Catallone is cashier there now.  I’d love to stick my package in her.  She’s fuckin’ fine.  She’s got the biggest tits I’ve ever seen.  They look like someone took a tire pump and filled them up with air,” Ronnie shares, cracking a smile.

I really don’t give a shit who he wants to fuck.  I might have thought this was cool and interesting before
, but now I just think he’s a crass dickhead.  I’m going fuckin’ soft.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Louie says and it’s directed at me.  “
Didn’t you want to fuck Mary too?”

Did I say that?  When?
 
I shrug my shoulders.  Who knows what I’ve fucking said.

Instead of just calling me
, my mother sends me more emails about the High School plus program.  She doesn’t give up easily.  It’s enticing because of the jump-start on college and because if I go home I wouldn’t have to go back to Palmetto High School, but
living
back at home doesn’t interest me.  I like my freedom. I haven’t been inside the walls of my house since that fateful night.  The night that everything changed.

I can still remember the grotesque anger on the man’s
face, the cold steel of the gun by my ear.  The fear.  It dances across my skin sometimes when I remember what happened. Less now, since my training with Joey and the incident with Brice, but I don’t think the fear will ever fully disappear.

I
skim over my mom’s latest email, grab my books, and meet Clarissa in the living room.  It’s the last day of school.  I enjoy school, so part of me is a little sad.  School work keeps my mind busy and off other things.  This has been a great semester aside from the Brice incident.

“You ready?” she asks.

“Yup.”  I pick up my purse off the kitchen table and we head out.

***
**

The day passes all too quickly.
I am happy because I know that I aced my exam in science. Clarissa is fairly quiet, and I can tell something is on her mind. Classic Clarissa, not wanting to tell me. I spend the bulk of our last day trying to figure her out. Probably best – I needed something to focus on besides all the end of the year goodbyes. I don’t want to leave my classes. Not just yet.

But the end of the day is unavoidable. In the blink of an eye, we’re walking
out into the California sunshine and onto the pathway that directs us away from our last class.

“
I’m going home for the summer,” she finally blurts out.

“Okay,” I say
, digesting her declaration.

“I know we said we were staying
, but my dad really wants me home.  I’ll be back at the end of August.”  She pauses.  “You can come home with me… back to the casino.”  Clarissa looks at me eagerly.  She really wants me to go with her.  Joey could go home too if I didn’t stay.  Maybe I should face my demons.

“No. I appreciate the offer but, you know, I think I’ll go home too.”  Clarissa stops and turns to me.

“Really, now?” She’s surprised. Almost shocked.

“Yeah. I think it’ll be good for me. I think I’m ready for it.”

She nods, and then smiles. “I’ll miss you.  You can always change your mind and spend the summer with me.”

“It’s barely two months.  We’ll survive.”  I smile.

*****

The
slowing of the plane and the rumble of the wheels on the runway are reality checks for me.  I miss Clarissa and Joey already.  They have been constants for me over the past six months. 

I disembark and head to baggage claim.  People are lined up three deep to watch f
or their bags as they travel by on the carousel.  I see mine.  A large black hardtop bag I bought at a shop in the casino the day before I left for California. 

“Excuse me,” I say to a couple of men standing in my way.
  I reach out and grab the handle of the bag and lift it.  I place it on the floor to roll it away from the crowd.  I see my father looking around.  I wave, but he looks right past me.

“Dad,” I call out as I walk towards him.

He registers me approaching, and his face is full of recognition and shock.  He’s staring at my hair.

“I needed a change,” I say, grinning
and running a hand down the black strands.

He nods in slow acceptance. Suddenly, in an uncharacteristic movement, he steps forward and squeezes me into a hug. He holds me for several seconds, and then eventually lets me go. Quietly, he
takes my bag from me and we walk to the exit together.  When I look over at him, he’s smiling.

He missed me.

*****

My father pulls our family mini-van into the driveway.  Antonio’s red Camaro is parked out front.  A small
twinge inside me wonders if Vito will be inside to greet me.

Dad gets my luggage out of the van and I climb the steps to the house.  I get a weird sensation ascending these stairs for the first time in so long, but the bizarre hope that Vito is inside pushes me forward.

I lift my hand to turn the doorknob, but the door flies open before I even have to push. My sister throws her arms around me.

“Oh my God!  I missed you so much.”

I hug her back and bury my face in her strawberry hair.  Antonio opens his arms for me and I go to him.  He hugs me tightly.

My mother comes out from the kitchen.  I see her over Antonio’s shoulder
, and I watch as her eyes bug out of her head.

“
What did you do to your hair?!” she yells.

The smile on my face
only gets bigger…

*****

I spend the majority of the hot summer days inside.  I read a couple of novels I’ve had on a very long list of
To Be Read
.  I use my room as my escape from my mother.  Antonio and Megan take me out a couple of times to dinner and the mall.  I also go shopping with my mother on a few occasions.  I ignore about a million texts from Connor.  I refused to go to the O’Connell’s house when my family was invited and I asked my dad not to let them come here. Dad even took me for ice cream one night after dinner.  That shocked me.  We never did stuff like that.

Any time I actual vent
ure out into the Palmetto world, though, I never run into Vito.  Which really isn’t that odd.  He is probably away or doing stuff for Antonio’s dad.  I asked Antonio once about him but he just shrugged off my question with a “he’s fine.”

My phone buzzes with a text
, and I pick it up off my dresser.

I miss
u


It’s from Clarissa.  A lump forms in my throat.
I text back.

I miss u
2


School still sucks. Now, I just get to pick which sucky class
es I want to take. At least the classes aren’t held in a high school that smells like someone’s ratty unwashed gym shorts. I always wondered why the school didn’t buy a whole shit load of that Febreze stuff my mother is always spraying on the couch and spray it on every kid who entered the building.