Moon and Star: Book One (8 page)

He tried his best to not think about it, but he felt guilty nonetheless. What if he was in the wrong? Did Kaito truly kill him out of self defense, or was their some alternative way he could’ve dealt with the situation?

Adding to his pain, was his little brother. Alone, dying. No one to care for him. He'd only just met him, but not being to save him was as hard as thinking about the crazed man. How did other warrior's deal with killing someone?

The wind howled and blew against the fire, causing it to flicker and dance. Kaito quickly placed more wood into the flame. It was his first fire outside of Mayumi's supervision. She made it look easy. Kaito struggled to get a mere spark. Keeping it going was another struggle all by itself. Thank the spirits he got one started, or else he’d be facing the night without any light. He wasn't afraid of the dark. He simply preferred to see in the dark, rather than walk around blind.

Kaito looked up at the sky. The sliver of light on the moon’s right side was wider than previous nights. Another month or so and the moon would be full again. He wondered what kind of damage Mayumi could do with tsuki no-haken at the zenith of its power.

Night fell. The fire was all but a flicker of light against the vast black background of the sky. Color from the trees and plants all but vanished, looking like greyed out versions of the their true beauty. The evening air chilled his skin. Was it always this cold outside at night? Kaito had run out of wood to get the fire going and he lacked the proper tools to cut more. The simplest movement made his body shiver uncontrollably and his teeth to chatter. He couldn’t even rub is arms or chest for the implausible fear they might fall off.

Kaito tried to fall asleep, but the wind blew over his legs every time he closed his eyes. It was bad enough trying to fall asleep without his bed and a fire, but now the wind was laughing at him. He heard it brush past the tree tops, using their leaves to make a noise which sounded close to someone’s cruel laughter. No matter how hard he tried, the wind kept him up with its howling and bristling against his uncovered skin. For the most part he had learned to ignore the cold, but unless the wind died down, he wasn’t going to get any sleep.

When the wind finally did start to quiet, his thoughts took over the position of keeping him awake. Thoughts of his father, Mayumi, Sora and the rest of his actual family. He wondered what they were like and whether they would accept him as one of their own after failing his mission. Kaito still couldn’t believe he was supposed to kill the man who’d raised him.

The man he did kill popped into his mind as he closed his eyes. They shot open. Kaito got up, no longer shivering. All he wanted was to sleep, but it seemed he’d need to get over this trauma before he could rest.

The problem was where to begin? He couldn’t ask the man for forgiveness. He was dead. Even if he could, would the man be accepting of his apology? He didn’t know what he’d done wrong. It was an accident. It’s not like he did it on purpose. The man had also tied him up and was planning on doing who knows what to him. Surely it was self defense. There was nothing dishonorable about killing someone who was going to kill you.

He kept telling himself this, but deep inside he wondered if the outcome could’ve been different. A ruler should know how to kill in order to gain power and keep it. Historically, that proved true. However Jin wasn’t as cold blooded as his father and others before him.

Perhaps that is why he died,
Kaito thought.
He didn’t have the resolve.

But what did that say about him? He killed one man whereas his adopted father killed hundreds, if not thousands, and was already beginning to second guess his actions. Grandfather said that killing a man made one a warrior, but a true ruler kills thousands more.

All Kaito felt was heartbreak.

His grandfather’s voice sounded in his head. It echoed and boomed at an unnatural rate that frightened Kaito to the bone. The cold was nothing compared to the chill he now felt from hearing the voice.

“Stand up,” his grandfather said. “Be a man.”

Kaito blinked and rubbed his eyes. Jin appeared before him—close enough that he could touch him if he wanted. A sense of respect and wonder stopped him from doing so, however. Jin smiled and placed a hand on Kaito’s shoulder. The hand phased through him, but he felt its presence nevertheless. He could hardly form words to speak as his father hugged him. Trembling his lips involuntarily was all he could manage.

“I’m sorry father,” he said, holding back the tears and staring at his feet. He couldn’t bear to look his father in the eyes. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in them.

When he looked up, his father’s face was gone. No trace of it remained. Kaito wiped his eyes with his dirty, torn kimono — sneezing on the accumulated dust and causing it to fly up his nose and into his eyelids. He sneezed again, this time away from the dust on his sleeve.

It’d been ages since he last bathed himself or his clothing. He felt disgusted to the bone. Kaito wondered if there was a hot spring anywhere in the area. If all else failed, he had the ocean a few treks to the East.

Without a moments hesitation, Kaito picked up the dagger Mayumi had left him and marched towards where the sun rose in the sky. It was positioned halfway between the horizon and the top of his head. Tree leaves more or less shielded his eyes from the sun’s light. Once in a while a gap in the tree top made it hard to see, but after last night he wasn’t about to let the sun stop him from surviving.

When he arrived on the coast of the main island Honshu the water sparkled from the sun’s rays. Kaito ran for the water. It was his first time being this close to such a large body of water. He’d never been to the ocean. Father and Yuri prohibited him from leaving the castle grounds. Eight years later and he finally understood why. He was their bargaining tool; their ace in the hole.

Their hostage,
Kaito thought.

He didn’t mind being a piece in the game of politics, even knowing what he did. It’s not like he had a bad childhood. His was probably better than most kids. What bothered him the most was the lack of trust that both sides seemed to lack when it came to him. No, not
seemed
to,
did
lack. Jin always said to lead by example. Both the Yoritomo and the Minamoto had shown him they were not afraid to lie to best the other.

The water was colder than he expected. He could barely get one foot in the water before the ocean's waves crashed against his upper leg. Kaito ran away, shivering The lower half of his kimono was clean, but felt much heavier than normal; as if he were being weighted down by a vast quantity of wood or rocks

Kaito sneezed. Last night’s weather seemed to have given him a cold. He felt sick and going into ice cold water was not the best thing to do after shivering all last night. But he’d manage. Somehow.

He’d all but given up hope on Mayumi or Sora finding him. He might as well try to make the journey to Yoshino himself. Perhaps they would be waiting for him there. Kaito packed up what few belongings he had: the dagger, his only remaining change of clothes—which he’d already worn twice so far—and some berries he found.

His stomach growled in protest as Kaito finished packing the last of the berries in a cloth sack. He tied it up tight, making sure the berries wouldn’t fall out, then fastened it on his rope belt.
One day there’ll be a sword there,
he thought, and continued towards Yoshino.

Kaito stumbled through the woods, lost and confused as the sun continued its descent for the day. He’d eaten a few berries to gather up his strength, but all he felt was pain bubbling in his stomach. He wanted to die. Anything would be better than this agonizing feeling of some imaginary force jumping up and down on his belly for their own sick, twisted amusement.

He placed a hand on his stomach, moaning. He burped, but didn’t feel any better.
Those berries must’ve been bad,
he thought, collapsing against a tree and sliding down the rough patches of bark. He faded in and out of consciousness. Every time he opened his eyes, the world around him changed in a visual sense. One of the illusions looked like a giant pond ripple, which covered the entire world, or at least his perception of it. Watching the inner wavelets journey outward was soothing for a bit, but then became nauseating as the speed in which they moved became faster and faster. Eventually it was a blur and Kaito could no longer keep his eyes open.

When he continued to look at the distorted world, the berries found their way out the same way they had come in.

Chapter Nine

Kaito gazed upon the horizon and out at the great sea. It was his first time seeing water so vast and large. It seemed endless, but he knew what was on the other side: His home. His
real
home. He didn’t even know what it looked like or what to expect. Would he be welcomed with open arms or would he be labeled a traitor? After all he’d failed his mission. A mission he'd found out about only recently from his younger brother.

He sighed, wondering if Sora was with Mayumi or if they’d gone their separate ways. Kaito was young, but Sora was younger. To think he had a brother all this time. It still boggled his mind to the point where the short time with his little brother could be attributed to a dream.

He was surrounded by shrubberies of all shapes and sizes. The farther south he went the more trimmed and well-kept they appeared. It was as if someone lived here. But who would be stupid enough to live in the forest? Rogue bushi-ama warrior, sure, but they didn’t have much or a choice. He’d only encountered one group of those. Still, he hadn’t come across anymore in the three months he’d been in the forest with or without Mayumi or Sora. Yet the bushes and trees got smaller, not taller as he journeyed towards Reikutaun.

Kaito stopped in his tracks and looked up as a bird cried out. The ronin from earlier. Their bodies hung from trees by their necks. Others hung from their stomachs, hunched over branches. One of the bodies came crashing down next to him along with a tree limb. He screamed and flinched, jumping out of the way. Whoever did this was good. Those men were tough. They would’ve killed Kaito if he told them his real name. Could the people who killed them also be after the bounty? He examined the body that fell from the tree. The blood was dry. Whoever did this was long gone by now.

The bird cried out again. This time Kaito looked up and saw a blackbird with a grey and yellow underbelly. Its beak was long. The longest he’d seen on a bird. The creature hopped along from tree top to tree top and pecked at the corpses. It wasn’t eating the flesh. Rather, it seemed curious about the whole situation. The long-beaked bird then started to squawk non-stop. Kaito covered his ears, but the screech easily penetrated his hands. He couldn’t take the noise. If it didn’t stop soon it would drive him mad.

He picked up a pebble and chucked it at the bird. It stopped and turned to look at him. Kaito sighed in relief. The bird started its screech once again, this time louder. What was with the bird? Even when threatened it refused to move from the spot.

Kaito looked back down and gazed across the blood-stained forest floor. Something clung to the fallen branch. At first he thought it was a bee hive and kept his distance. Looking at it closer, he realized it was a nest. Baby birds lay smashed and torn. As if someone took their time torturing them.
Who would do such a thing?
Kaito could barely keep his eyes away from the site. Something primal inside him made him stare—but his gut reaction was of sorrow, horror, and anger.

The mother bird stopped it's screeching and flew down on Kaito's shoulder. He smiled at the bird and it whistled a tune so beautiful it left his eyes misty and his throat dry.
Seems I've found a companion in this little creature,
he thought.

"I'm going to Yoshino. Would you like to join me?"

The bird chirped and hopped happily back and forth on his shoulder. He took it as a sign.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you ... Naomi."

Naomi, he hadn't thought of her in years. Somehow this bird reminded him of her. The love of his life's beauty still amazed him, even in his memory. He pictured her long, dark hair flowing freely in the wind as she opened her eyelids, revealing the blue color underneath. The image was so visceral, Kaito could imagine himself next to her.

But she would never fall for a guy like him. Not after learning the truth. It was only a matter of time before news of Kaito's heritage became common knowledge. If it wasn't already. Even as children, she was more interested in Go-zhuk. The three of them laughed and played ever day before tensions started to brew between the two clans.

Naomi's own family had sided with the Yoritomo and since than nothing informative ever came to his attention. It was like she disappeared without a trace.

If only I'd told her how I really feel.

Kaito sighed. Yet another thing on his list of regrets.

***

Kaito’s journey was coming to a close. He could smell the salt from the ocean ahead and the sweet aroma of
 
fish lingering in the air. He exhaled, remembering the first time he went fishing with his father. It was the first and only time Kaito was allowed outside the castle walls. To this exact town, no less. He’d been ten at the time; far too old to be starting to learn how the fish. While the other kids reeled in the big fish for their families, Kaito was still catching weeds and grass in his net and tangling them on his spear. Yet another way his father failed him.

Naomi the bird tweeted and cocked her head inside a small sack made out of tree twigs and tree bark, looking into Kaito’s eyes as if it knew what he were thinking. He smiled. This must've been what it was like to have a child.

He stroked the birds head as it rubbed its beak against his palm. It nuzzled up to his hand and closed its eyes. Kaito sat down and looked up. Seemed the bird was a better tracker of time than himself. The sun was halfway behind the horizon before Kaito took notice of the lack of light in the sky.