Moon Bound (Glorious Darkness Book 1) (4 page)

(5) Always Gonna Be Tomorrow

|Regan's POV|

Leaving her alone is the last thing I want to do. So fragile, so scared, even in her sleep she's whispering things I wish I won't hear ever again.

She keeps repeating it, her small body shaking just as her voice is. Not my name. Never my name.

"Alpha," she says again and again. Like a mantra, she's been taught to repeat even when she's fighting for consciousness.

I hate it.

"Alpha, please..."

I take one last look at her, lingering at her form, draped in my sheets like a gift wrapped with care and love. It's not love she feels for me but something else, much darker, much more different than love. Hate? Fear?

Probably both.

"I'll be back before you know it, Scarlet," I promise her quietly, uncertain if she can hear me, not sure if I even want to know that she does when another spasm rakes over her body, her skin paling even in her dream-filled state.

No, I don't want to know if it's me who she's listening to.

I leave the room, the difficult task I'm about to do weighing on my chest like a ton of bricks and clogging the air path to my lungs.

"There is someone waiting for you," Hayden tells me as soon as I step out.

I raise a questioning brow, waiting for him to explain. I've been the one to call on a pack meeting so, of course, I know there are people waiting for me, however, I don't think my beta has the pack in mind. "Who?" I play along.

"A visitor came a while ago," Hayden supplies, a displeased expression on his face as his chocolate skin pulls tight over his face, hazel eyes sparkling with the gleam of calculation.

"A vampire," he ventures carefully.

My blood runs cold. A vampire? There's only one vampire who will ever dare come here and nothing good ever comes out of his visits.

"Take me to him," I demand. His head sinks downs in compliance.

Shoving my hands into my jeans' pockets I follow Hayden down the hallway to my office. The man stops in front of it, motioning towards the closed door.

"You let him in without my permission," I accuse seething with anger and causing the lesser wolf to backtrack away from me, caution written all over his face as his big form recoils in submission.

"I didn't know what to do. You were occupied with the girl and I didn't know if I should interrupt." His excuse is weak, just like the man himself. Weak and undeserving of my anger towards him.

I take a deep breath, my nose wrinkling with disgust when I catch on his fright-stained scent, his fear like balm calming the beast clawing inside me to let him out. Reminding myself that there's no one to take up the beta's position in place of Hayden, I let the air out and place my hand on the knob.

"We'll talk about this later," I promise before leaving my beta out of the mess I have to clean up.

I let myself in to find the vampire perched on the leather couch opposite my desk, the curtains conveniently pulled to shade the light coming into the room. I know he won't burn like the stories tell, but it's going to be chafing for him to stand under direct sunlight. It's a pity really that old ones like him are not much affected by it in terms of real damage.

I approach his sleek, suited form, his golden hair pulled into a low tail on the back of his head, the way he usually wears it.

"Magistrate Nightingale," I greet him, the word coming as a growl. It's not the fact that he's a vampire that's bothering me. The quarrel between wolves and vampires is long gone now when the old ways are replaced by political mediums. The problem is that he's one of them. The Council. The people who proclaimed themselves to be rulers of all other species but humans and took it upon themselves to regulate all which they deem fit regulation. It's only natural for a leader following the old ways, such as myself, to find the notion of being governed by some made-up and self-proclaimed authority rankling.

"I didn't expect to see you here," I grit out, forgetting the pleasantries one of his rank should be offered. Then again, agreeing to be kept on their leash is not something they should expect from any Alpha, least of all from an Alpha like myself. "Such a surprise to see you've been granted permission to leave your city. Doesn't happen often, does it?"

"Now, Regan, there's no need for such hostility between old friends," he chuckles, flashing me his signature grin.

"Old friends my ass!"

He raises a brow. "So I guess it was someone else who kept you out of certain leader's notice when you took it upon yourself to overthrow your father's reign over your pack. You disappoint me, my friend. All these efforts of building an alliance going to waste, such a pity," he remarks, reminding me of what has been at stake and what he has done for me, what I've been forced to agree to because of his interference.

"It's been too long since the last time I considered you a friend so let's skip the charade and get to it. Whatever you've come to require of me to do I'm done being a part of your schemes. You may as well get it out of your head that I'd ever play your games. I won't be doing your dirty work so you should just go."

He stands up from his seat, now looking straight at me instead of up. "I see how it is. You'll keep pretending that there's no war in the supernatural world and let your kind die. If this is really how a wolf from the royal bloodline acts, then I'm not surprised your kind refused to bow to your ancestors and to you, Regan." The disappointment in his voice is palpable. "You are a disgrace to everything your name stood for."

"And you're any different, Michael? Is that what you think when you go hunt poor, unsuspecting humans, then feed them your false promises of immortality only to sell them to your masters? Is the thought that you do it to protect your own letting you sleep at night?"

"I know it's not the right thing to do, Regan." He sighs. "But at least I'm trying to do something about it. What are you doing, though?"

"I'm protecting my own, just like you are." 

He shakes his head. "No, you're hiding. You're refusing to face the consequences of our actions. You knew you'll need to step up and become a Council member when you dethroned your father but what did you do then? You decided it was too much responsibility for you and refused to join the Council, instead contented yourself with ruling over your pack and deserted the rest of the moon children. 

"You were the one who caused your pack's fall and what you did when it happened? You fled with the cowards who were still on your side and came here to slaughter innocent people and take their land. You hid here and kept pretending your kind's fate had nothing to do with you, that you were only responsible for the ones closest to you."

"I never wanted to become a magistrate!" I shout back, anger nibbling on my insides. I refuse to look at the man. He's speaking the truth, nonetheless, it's his truth, not mine.

"And since when do our wishes matter, Regan?"

Raising my gaze to meet his once again, they are similar to hers. Gray, yet a different kind of gray. Not like the skies clouding with storms but like the silvery gray of the full moon, a few shades lighter and a few centuries older too. Eyes that hide knowledge underneath, thoughts that are probably terrifying and no feelings. He forsook those long ago it seems.

"You deserted me, Michael. I needed you and you deserted me." The accusation is soft, maybe because deep down I know it doesn't have a basis. He did that but he had his reasons too.

He sighs. "I had my own battles to fight. You know that, Regan."

"As I had mine."

Standing up from his spot, he's shaking his head. "This is going nowhere."

I'm glad he realizes it.

"So I guess I'll have to do what I always do. I'll need to give you the incentive you need. Soon you'll be the one seeking me out, I can promise you that."

"When hell freezes over," I mumble, irked by the vampire's audacity to even consider that I can be a pawn in his games again, incentive or no incentive.

Michael only shakes his head, the blank expression on his poster boy exterior flickering for barely a moment, replaced by one of deep sadness, and then the mask returns, covering his slip.

He skirts past me, glancing back at the last moment. "Are you going to escort me or shall I see myself out?"

"Just go and don't let the door hit you on your way out," I nearly groan in exasperation. 

"I won't, my friend," the vampire calls back, leaving me alone in my office. 

I sigh, stepping out only to follow Hayden downstairs to the pack's meeting chamber.

Halting before the entrance, I run my hands through my hair, hoping to get myself back in order and not look too flustered when I get inside. Another deep inhale and I nod my readiness, following Hayden inside.

Obediently, they have gathered in the spacious room, so many of them that there's hardly any breathing space left in the vast chamber.

Hayden takes his spot on the front row as I climb up the small, improvised stage near the entrance of the room, just opposite the sitting area, my pack's attention tracking my every move with anticipation of what's to come.

I struggle for a blank expression, wrapping a composure of calm around me. Weak I might be in front of my mate, hopeless even in my attempt to claim her as mine, but never before them. They need a strong leader, someone to both fear and respect. Someone they will die for without a second thought. No questions asked. No reasons needed.

My judgment may be harsh at times, some days they may see me as nothing but a monster, nevertheless, I am the one who will protect them. They know this now.

I take my place in the middle of the stage, the tension making me feel stiff on my feet.

Gathering my strength, I clear my throat, muffling the soft whispers.

"Pack wolves, as you know I have been waiting for this moment for a long time and now I have finally found her. I found my mate," I announce in a voice that sounds nothing and everything like my own. Loud and clear, it quivers at the end, crumbling under the attention and the expectation of hard judgment I know will follow as soon as they realize who I am talking about.

"I found your future Luna," I say to them. My eyes skip from face to face, the realization dawning on them as the last string of events seems to surface from their memories.

The crowd stirs up, a movement in the middle of the rows of sitting wolves until a blonde rises above headlevel. A she-wolf I know so very well.

"It's her, isn't it?" Sasha accuses after propping up from her seat. Face crumbled with anger and disgust, an expression I never thought I will see pointed towards me from the sly and calculating girl, she's fuming.

"It's the 
hybrid
," she spits derisively. It's indeed the hybrid, as she calls her now, the same girl she once stood by to protect.

I'm tempted to laugh at her. How easily do loyalties change! I settle for a soft chuckle, pretending to be amused by the scene she's causing when, in fact, disgust is roiling up inside me.

"Did you think that I, the Alpha of one of the strongest packs, a pack with centuries-old history, will fall for the pathetic schemes of a low ranked she-wolf such as yourself, Alexandra?" I question, cocking a brow to complement the mockery in my voice.

"You were not bad of a choice for a quick fuck but that's all you've ever been to me. I hoped for your own good you had more good sense but I guess I was wrong." And ain't that the truth? This female seems to be dumb as fuck to oppose me so openly and mock my mate in front of my whole pack.

"Sit down and shut the hell up before I decide to regard what you just did as a challenge to my authority." The threat in my low voice is a reason enough for her to pin me under her murderous glare before she takes my advice and drops back to her seat.

"Anyone else wants to voice out their concerns about this pack's future Luna?" I call out, daring them to oppose me.

For a few minutes, there are just murmurs, flickering glances in between my pack members, the mind-link buzzing with activity as some see it safer to discuss the matter more privately. Even Alphas can't keep track of that many conversations and my wolves know it, opting for this means instead of the vocal one.

There are a few strong enough to have a chance at defeating me if they combine their efforts and rise in challenge against me but most of them are the calculating types, people who will wait and plan before they actually decide on the attack. It's the way father taught them to survive in this pack, a way they learned even better under me.

The rise is there, a current of rebellion underneath the tension clinging in the air, a sizzle of motion in the bond connecting us together, however, they are not prepared to strike yet. I watch them quietly, masking my concern with a brash look, some seeing right through it perhaps when others stay unknowing of the struggle inside me.

No one comes forth. Today, no one will.

"In that case, you are dismissed," I conclude and step off the stage, dread coursing through my veins.

(6) Perfect Reflection

|Regan's POV|

The room is drowned in her scent, the remains of her presence lingering for me to take in like the sweetest of poisons. My poison, the only thing that can truly addict me.

The bed is empty, missing her like I already do. The covers are discarded on the floor as if someone has thrown them there in a fit of rage. Did she do that?

"Scarlet?" I call out, panic beating against my chest. "Where are you, sweetheart?"

The silence is so loud it feels like it's screaming at me. No answer ever comes.

"Scarlet?" My voice is quivering with fear leaking into it. I scurry around the room, checking every creak and crevice, inside the walk-in closet... How bad did I mess up to be even doing this?

I drop on my knees, leaning against the rug on the floor to look under the bed. Nothing. Where the hell she is?

A low rumble of displeasure comes out of my throat, the thought about her hiding from me poking at my chest with a merciless hand, striking me right where it hurts the most.

Did I make her feel this way? Worse?

Depression and guilt swamp over my mind, leaving debris of the initial excitement behind. Will I have to hurt her more than I already have? Will I have to hurt her so I could have her?

I rise to my feet, taking another sweep of the place and noting the bathroom door is slightly ajar. No light is coming from inside, though. She can't possibly be there, can she?

My desperate trot takes me to the doorstep, shaking hands push the wood, revealing a sight that makes my heart fall down to its place. Drinking her up, her slender, small frame wearing the light pink, nearly see through silky gown I find her breathtaking with her curls falling down her back.

She turns towards me, pinning me under her stormy gaze, staring at me with her eyes that are filled with tears. Tearing me apart.

"You scared the shit out of me, Scarlet," I breathe out, the fist around my windpipe easing its hold. I can barely keep it in. The need to go to her, wrap her in my arms is so strong I'm shaking in my struggle with the beast's demands.

"You should answer when I'm calling you," I say to her, the words coming out harsher than intended. Mentally, I curse myself for giving voice to these possessive instincts. She needs to be cherished. I need to tread carefully now after I've broken her. I need to piece this proud woman back together.

Can a monster like me do that?

"Alpha," she whispers with a blank face, lowering those eyes off of me. Not to look at me, never to look at me. Skirting past me just like any other wolf of the pack will. Trying to avoid my presence.

My hand strikes out, fingers snaking over her elbow as I stare at her, willing her to look, see me as the man I should be in her eyes. She doesn't. Instead, she keeps her gaze downcast, refusing to regard me at all.

"Is something wrong, babe?" The moment the words leave my mouth I realize how wrong they must sound tumbling out of my lips.

The storm returns, peering up at me from beneath thick, dark lashes. Does she despise me that much? I am her mate. She is supposed to forgive me, not act like we are strangers to each other.

She places a hand over mine, sparks flying across my feverish flesh as she unhooks my fingers and pushes me away.

"You shouldn't be concerned with me, Alpha." Like arrows piercing through, the words sink deep into my heart.

"What is that supposed to mean, Scarlet? Of course, I'll be concerned about you. You are my mate for goodness' sake!" both beast and man growl their hurt out.

This is too much to ask, even I know this. Can I not demand what is mine?

A smile slashes over her face, one that terrifies me to my very core. This is too far from the mate I envisioned in my dreams. This woman is someone I don't know.

"Monsters do not have mates," barely a whisper, her breath caressing my face. Ice cold. Freezing me to the bone.

"If I may be excused now. Alpha," a lighter note penetrates her voice, mocking, taunting the beast inside to take her any way he can, even by force.

I struggle to contain him, reigning control and trying to suppress the pain that lives in both of us, resurrected by her words of rejection.

Nothing you haven't earned, Regan
, I remind myself watching her turn away from me, stroll across the room with determination.

I rack my brain for something, anything as I keep walking in her footsteps, desperate to hold her back from leaving me.

How can a monster learn to be gentle? How can an alpha ask for forgiveness? 

"I'm sorry," I choke out, the beast inside raging at me for letting her see my weakness.

He's simple minded when it comes to his mate. He can't see the whole picture as well as the man. He may not want it but I know that showing her my weakness is probably the only thing that will ever make her regard me differently. The only way I can prove myself to her even if it's against my every instinct as an alpha.

I can't be the monster she believes me to be. Even if that means to be constantly fighting with the beast, then so be it. I will fight him as much as I can.

"Sorry?" she questions, her back rigid with tension. She turns, giving me a slow perusal that ends in a soft chuckle. "Apologizing is beneath you, Alpha," she says, her voice even, caustic just like she is now.

The beast snarls at me, firing at me from the inside as she challenges him. Doesn't she know she shouldn't be doing this?

"Look, Scarlet," I let out, my hand sliding through my hair with the need to rip it out. "I know what I did to you was wrong and you have every right to hate me for it but--"

"A shocker."

"I promise you I'll do everything in my power to make it up to you. I'll change. I'll become a better man and a better alpha. I'll be everything you need me to be but you need to move on from the past so we could turn a new page." 
You need to give me the assurance I need to keep going, keep denying what the beast wants me to do, 
I add, not daring to speak it aloud.

She gives me an incredulous look, snapping her fingers in front of me. "Just like that."

I swallow the comeback, unwilling to show her that part of me and instead just shake my head. "No. I wouldn't expect you to forgive me so easily. I know I have a lot of groveling ahead of me. What I'm asking you is to try."

I lean closer to her, inhaling her sweet scent. It's the only thing sweet about her now. The only thing that still remains from my mate and I need to hold onto it until I can finally bring her back from wherever she has disappeared into.

"What do you say, baby? Will you give us a shot?" I plead for the first time in my life, offering her my heart in my outstretched hand, palm open just like I am to her.

Bare before her testing eyes.

"I say," she begins, her own hand leaving her side, traveling closer to mine. Just an inch away until she can wrap her fingers around mine... Just an inch away from a future I've dreamed of for years long.

"No." A shot fired, the bullet aimed at my chest, hitting its mark.

My heart drops, breaking to pieces. Her hand is retracting quicker than I can react and hold onto it. The missed contact burning on my skin just like her rejection is burning inside. Turning me to ashes.

"Why?" the beast growls, surfacing from inside me like a wounded animal looking for a reason before he explodes.

She shakes her head, not cowering from me but swirling like the wheel of fate that has rotated on its axis and brought me to my knees through the only person I never even considered could or would do it. Not until a few hours ago. Not until I found out the truth about who she is to me.

And now, it's all gone. The dream is snatched away because of my lack of foresight.

"I'll return this shortly," she tells me, motioning towards the gown she's dressed in. "One of your lady friends may want it back, Alpha." She bows in respect, as fake as her innocent face is.

She is no longer an innocent. She is cold and cruel. The perfect reflection of the monster I've been to her.