Moonlight Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery (21 page)

Then his voice disappeared and the temperature rose back to normal.

“
Dammit. It definitely didn
’
t work. Maybe we need something stronger than whipped cream. Maybe some acid. Or whiskey?
”

Ingrid sighed.
“
I am very disturbed right now. I need to lay down. But responsibilities and ghosts beckon. Let
’
s just go upstairs and get the grimoire. I don
’
t think your hot, fictional TV characters are going to get us out of this one.
”

“
Okay, I
’
ll text Maria. Tell her we are in the bookstore.
”

They took the elevator up a floor to the main level that housed the bookstore and the other businesses that rented space in this building.

“
Prague. Soon. Screw the
Supernatural
guys. They are obviously no help to us.
”

“
You mean besides being drool-worthy.
”

“
Right, besides that. I have to have something to dream about, and I
’
ll be kicking Fireman Sam to the curb pretty soon. He
’
s kind of a whiny wench. Which is super not my type.
”

Chapter 10

Taking Notes

Emily and Ingrid lined the candles up around a circle.

“
Do you have matches?
”
Emily asked as she pulled down the blinds for the bookstore windows.

“
I have a low-lying fury about Gabe to fuel my magic.
”
Ingrid stretched while she was leaned over, setting up the next candle.
“
Maybe I should start doing some yoga.
”

“
Don
’
t change the subject. Back to lighting things on fire,
”
Emily said as she drew emblems on the ground with chalk. They were mostly nonsense. Ingrid was pretty sure Emily just set up a game of hangman, but who could tell?
“
That
’
s disturbing. Try not to set me on fire this time.
”

“
I haven
’
t set you on fire in forever. Quit whining. So what if we go to the Canary Islands post murder investigation?
”

“
I want to go somewhere with culture. And European men.
”

“
Aren't they oily?
”
Sure, she
’
d agreed to Europe, but somewhere warm sounded lovely right then with the rain pattering outside.

“
I
’
m pretty sure that
’
s only the movies. What they are is not Sam. And not self-righteous pricks like Gabe.
”

“
Hey, I might love him.
”

“
Of course you love him.
”

“
Shut up,
”
Ingrid said, scrubbing her hands over her face.

“
Wench, please, if you were moping any more I
’
d have to smother you to put you out of your misery. We have to solve this, you have to make up, do Gabe, and then we need to go to exercise our brains. Somewhere else so people we know can
’
t see.
”

Ingrid laughed.
“
So expectations will not be set?
”

It was possible, Ingrid thought, that they had set the expectations of others too low. No one on the island, except maybe Hazel who
’
d known them forever, would believe they really had graduated at the top of their class.

Ingrid couldn
’
t help but remember Em in her pointy-toed heels and snug suits. She
’
d carried a briefcase and fired all sorts of people. It had been crazy. Ingrid, of course, had set aside her dreams to become Harrison
’
s play
…
No. No she wasn
’
t going to do that. She had loved Harrison. She had done her best.

“
Once we come back, especially after this murder case, we
’
ll have earned all of the naps we take. I might decide to have a European fling.
”

“
You have already decided this,
”
Ingrid said.

“
Too true,
”
Emily mused,
“
but if it seems in doubt I won
’
t feel like a hooker.
”

Ingrid opened the bottle of wine, poured a glass for herself, and added a hefty dose of truth serum to the bottle.
“
It
’
s weird that we truth-serum ourselves so much. We
’
re going to be like the Dread Pirate Roberts and develop an immunity.
”

“
It
’
s weird that we don
’
t care if people find out our secrets. You
’
d think we
’
d have something to hide so bad that we
’
d have to kill them once they knew. And we need to have a movie marathon with hot pirate men. We
’
ll start with
Princess Bride
.
”

Ingrid sighed.
“
We have no secrets. Everything that is shameful about us is known and discussed.
”

The whine in her voice was too clear even for Ingrid. What the islanders discussed was how Gabe could do better. Sage Island would prefer he hooked up with some sweet kindergarten teacher or something else equally adorable. Not the emotionally charged rich girl who spent too much time drinking wine and coffee.

“
They don
’
t know how you tortured your step-children.
”

“
True,
”
Ingrid said.
“
Except they were adults, they deserved it, and I wouldn
’
t care. I was diabolical and crafty about it. Sage Islanders would be like
…
Ingrid? She didn
’
t do that. She
’
s too dumb of a dove for that. She probably napped through that entire first marriage and woke up for the money.
”

“
You are bitter right now,
”
Emily said.
“
I will slap you about the head until you make it stop.
”

Ingrid aimed the wine cork at Em and let it go just as the bookstore door opened and Maria came in. Her eyes were wild
—
mostly at the corners
—
and her hair was a mess. She looked like Ingrid felt, except she had to up her effort to torture Gabe with what he could not have. If Gabe weren
’
t on the island, Ingrid would have been wearing stained and holey yoga pants and a three days dirty shirt.

Emily handed Maria a cup of wine before she
’
d even taken off her coat. It was too bad that she was probably the murderer. She had the kind of crazy in her eyes that was familiar and comforting. That kind of crazy was like family, the kind of people who always just got you.

“
I
…”
Maria began. Her eyes welled with tears, and she took a long drink of wine. Her face seemed to smooth out, and she practically dumped her heart on them under the freeing influence of truth serum.
“
I don
’
t know what to feel.
”

There was a distinct wail in her voice.

“
I pretty much hated my brother. He was such a jerk. Always manipulating our parents. It has been a relief since he up and moved away. But then he left the money to you, and I am so stressed over money, and my parents can
’
t afford to bury him and
…”

“
Did you kill him?
”
Emily asked bluntly.

“
What? No! If I were going to kill him, I
’
d have done it when we were teenagers.
”

“
Well, damn it,
”
Ingrid said with a sigh.
“
We had it pinned on you. Now we are going to have to figure out who did it.
”

They pulled out the plate of cheese and crackers. Since Maria hadn't done it, they went ahead and shared their snacks. It wasn
’
t going to be enough though, Ingrid thought. She wanted another round of Indian food, especially with the perk of tormenting Dickhead.

“
You were our last hope,
”
Emily said.
“
Everyone else has an alibi. Don
’
t get me wrong. We didn
’
t want it to be you.
”

Ingrid added,
“
Yeah, we were going to pay for a great legal defense and find a way to get you off, but we were convinced it was you.
”

“
Um,
”
Maria looked between them in confusion and then down at her wine.
“
Wait, I
’
ve heard about this. You put some sort of potion in my wine to make me tell the truth? The sky is gr
…
blue.
”

“
They always do the sky one,
”
Emily said.
“
I eagerly await someone realizing that we serumed them and testing it with like scientific theory.
”

“
Well,
”
Ingrid mused,
“
will we know if they
’
re telling the truth then?
”

Emily shrugged.

“
Sorry about the will,
”
Ingrid said.
“
I
’
ll sign it over to you. What the hell was Sheldon thinking? I don
’
t want or need his money. Was he planning on trying to get me to dinner and then say, hey I
’
ve always loved you. Here
’
s the proof in my will?
”

“
Probably,
”
Emily countered,
“
he was thinking that he could get into your pants if you believed that you were the center of his universe.
”

“
Ew,
”
Ingrid said.

“
Um, he didn
’
t get into her pants in college. Why would he think he could now?
”
Maria looked as if she didn
’
t quite understand what they were saying.

“Exactly
!
”
Ingrid and Emily said together though Em
—
good dove that she was
—
was saying it just to make Ingrid happy.

Maria held up her hands and added,
“
He had an inflated opinion of himself. It didn
’
t help that Tia had it for him so bad. She was like addicted to him. Kevin is so much more attractive and yet Tia wanted Sheldon.
”

“
Now that is a disgusting thought,
”
Emily said. She shivered and then shoved a cracker in her mouth and had to talk around her food.
“
I hate him. I don
’
t see Kevin being attractive at all. He, Maria, is Deputy Dumbass and we hate him.
”

“
Emily hates him,
”
Ingrid said.
“
I
’
m too busy being mad at Gabe to care about his second-rate deputy.
”

“
I think he might be a full partner,
”
Maria said delicately. She nibbled at a cracker and said,
“
I
’
m vegan. And gluten free
”

“
We don
’
t care,
”
Emily replied. She considered for a moment and said,
“
About any of that. But being vegan is crazy. Whipped cream is a necessity in life.
”