Moonlight(Pact Arcanum 3) (28 page)

“He saw how the Armistice took over your life when you kindled, and he didn’t want that. Besides, if he hadn’t wanted to hide, he would never have found a way to suppress the Gift,” Matt answered. “I don’t think even he realizes what an achievement that was. Think how many Sentinels could benefit from that kind of magic. We could be free from the demands of the White Wind without even having to wait for Rory to complete the Great Work.”

“Too late now,” Noah said in a hard voice. Other than Toby, he had taken Ethan’s betrayal the hardest. As the two oldest members of the group, he and Ethan always had a special understanding that they shared a certain responsibility for their younger bandmates. To find that Ethan had been actively working to harm Toby shook Noah to the core.

“It doesn’t have to be too late,” said Andrea.

The other three looked at her incredulously.

“Andrea, he could have gotten me killed!” Toby said. “You want me to pretend that never happened?”

“People do stupid things, and people get hurt,” Andrea said. “It happens all the time. You deal with it and move on.” She faced Noah. “Ethan made a mistake. Maybe if you reach out to him, he might change his mind.”

“Ethan was one of my closest friends,” Noah said, with emphasis on the past tense. “He doesn’t change his mind once it’s made up.”

“You won’t know until you try.” Andrea shot a glance at Toby. “For ten minutes, after Manchester, I thought you were dead, that I’d never hear your thoughts again, that sense of
rightness
when you were a part of my life.” She looked at Noah and Matt. “When you link, how does it feel not to have Ethan there with you?”

“Incomplete,” said Matt, his tone subdued. “Like a missing tooth.”

“A Sentinel link lasts for life, guys. That’s a long time to feel like a vital part of yourself is missing.”

Noah was visibly struggling with the idea. “Even if we wanted to talk to him, we don’t know where he is or how to contact him, and he keeps the link masked.”

“Don’t make excuses, Noah,” Toby said in a tired voice. “If you want to talk to him, then you know exactly how to reach him.”

Matt frowned. “How?”

“Noah is the Wind of Earth,” Andrea said. “The Winds will always hear his call. Whether Ethan decides to answer is a separate issue.”

“I can’t initiate the Wind Link without his consent,” Noah said weakly.

“But you can always reach him, even if he chooses not to respond,” Matt answered with a hint of excitement. “At least he’d know we’re ready to talk.”

“
If
we’re ready,” Toby said, his eyes on Noah.

“You’re the one he turned on, Toby,” Noah said. “Do you want me to do this?”

“I’ve known Ethan for more than half my life,” Toby said. “If he’s not part of my life anymore, I want to know why. I want to understand.”

Noah took a deep breath. “Okay.” He closed his eyes and reached out to the Winds. He felt Ethan’s presence immediately.
“Hello, brother.”

Amsterdam, the Netherlands

Ethan leapt off the bed in his hotel room and whipped his head around, trying to find the source of the voice.
“Noah? Is that you?”

“Yes.”

Ethan pulled himself together, his thoughts becoming wary and guarded.
“What do you want?”

“We want to talk to you.”

“Since when? Nothing has changed.”
Ethan paused.
“Wait, I’ve still got the link masked. How did you find me?”

“You’re the Wind of Fire. I’ll always be able to reach you as long as your Gift is awake.”

“Then maybe it needs to go to sleep again,”
Ethan retorted. The others could feel his bitterness seeping through the link.

“Can’t you just talk to us, Eth?”
asked Matt.

Ethan was silent.
“Are Andrea and Toby here, too?”

“I’m here,”
Andrea said.
“Toby can’t hear us. If you like, I can relay to him what you have to say.”

“Don’t bother,”
said Ethan.
“I already know what he must think of me.”

“But he doesn’t know what you think of him, Ethan,”
Andrea answered.
“It’s killing him not to understand how you could hate him so much.”

“I don’t hate him,”
Ethan said.

“Then why?”
Matt asked.
“Why sell him out to those thugs?”

Ethan didn’t answer for a time.
“He was a means to an end, a way to hurt the Nexus.”

“That’s your reason?”
Noah asked angrily.
“You used him to get to the Nexus? They’re machines. What makes you think they give a damn about him?”

“I—I don’t know.”
Ethan hesitated.
“You really think he’d listen to me? After everything I did?”

“You could try,”
said Andrea.
“He wants to understand. Do you want me to bring him into the link with me?”

“No,”
Ethan answered with firm resolve.
“A regular link wouldn’t be enough. If he wants to understand, then there are things I want him to see that he can’t experience through a regular link.” He turned his attention to Noah. “Open the Wind Link. I give you my consent.”

Noah’s eyes widened.
“Are you sure? It would mean accepting your place as a Wind. I don’t know how you managed to suppress your power before, but once we enter the Wind Link, our powers will increase exponentially. You might not be able to shutter it away again.”

“I’m sure,”
said Ethan.
“I stopped being afraid of what I was when Sarah died. After that, I only hid out of habit.”

Noah focused on Matt and Andrea.
“Are you ready?”

“If it will settle this, then count me in,”
said Matt.

Andrea nodded.
“If I enter the Link, then Toby will be drawn to the periphery. Ethan will be able to reach him through me.”
Her thoughts grew bitterly cold.
“If you try to hurt him, then I will know, Ethan. I will crush your mind without hesitation. Remember that.”

“I understand,”
Ethan said simply.

Noah touched the minds of the Winds again and willed the Wind Link into existence.

Armistice Security Training Center, Anchorpoint City, Colorado

To Toby’s psychic senses, the comforting glow of Andrea’s mind exploded into a storm of crystalline shards, fusing with the other Winds into a chaotic whirlwind of brilliant lights as their normal personalities were subsumed into a greater pattern that Toby could almost, but not quite, understand. He was carried along in their wake, drawn to the edge of the maelstrom to bask in their radiance.

Earth spoke to Fire.
“Show us.”

Fire opened his mind and the memories spilled out. Ethan’s first meeting with Sarah, his uncertainty while they forged their relationship, the day he admitted that he loved her, the night he told her his secrets, and her acceptance of what he was. The night he proposed in her apartment in New York City, his joy when he slipped a ring onto her finger, rubies for fire and diamonds for love. Making love that night and the next morning before going into the streets for a late lunch, ignorant of the riots that had spread throughout the city.

Toby suffered beside him, as they were attacked by panicked humans, felt Ethan’s rage as he reached for power while she bled in his arms, finding nothing. The other Winds were silent while Ethan huddled against her lifeless body when his Gift finally answered his call, too late, his grief and hopelessness the only things that held him back from releasing her and striking out to massacre the frenzied crowd.

The memories flashed forward while months passed, and Ethan used the emotional control he had been taught to master his grief to the point where he could hide it from even his closest friends. They saw his decision to funnel money to the terrorists, the choice to allow Toby to join them on tour so he could dig up more intelligence on the Nexus through an Armistice insider. They felt his rage explode when Toby told them of his link to the Nexus, threatening to consume him in wrath before it finally burned hideously cold, turning to a frigid, calculating hatred.

They saw his advance knowledge of the terrorist attacks and his conscious decision not to share the information that Armistice Security had shifted the location of Toby’s wedding. Toby watched Ethan’s final conversation with his contact in the Organic Underground, and the weeks afterward, while the other Sentinel drifted, rootless and alone, from city to city in Europe.

They were all silent when the memories faded. No one spoke as Fire reached into his pocket and drew out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a gold ring set with rubies and diamonds.

Fire wept.

Earth, Water, and Air surrounded him in their silent sympathy. Finally, Fire raised his mental gaze and focused on Toby.
“Now you understand.”

Toby was silent for a time.
“You protected me at the end. Why?”

Fire dropped his eyes to stare at the ring in his hand.
“Your masters took away that which made life worthwhile. You were never my enemy, only them. The other hosts were to have been spared, but not you. They would have struck at you, no matter how many innocents would die for your death to be assured.”

Toby regarded him soberly.
“Ethan, the Nexus attacked for revenge, but they chose to hold back their final stroke. They didn’t have reasons anywhere near as pure as mercy, but they held back. Your revenge killed a lot of people, but you held back from pulling the trigger yourself, when you easily could have gone through with it. How are your actions any different from theirs?”

Fire glared at him, his eyes blazing.
“They killed her. Do you dare to ask me to forgive them?”

“Brother,”
said Water,
“your grief clouds your thoughts. The crowd killed your lover, not the Nexus.”

Fire dismissed him.
“They were afraid.”

“No, brother. They were angry,”
answered Air.
“They could have chosen reason over rage to address their fear, but they did not.”

“Nor did you,”
Earth said implacably.

Fire collapsed to his knees, clutching at the ring.
“I am lost, alone in the dark. How can there ever again be light, when she is gone?”

Earth, Air, and Water held Fire in their psychic embrace while he howled with loss. Finally, he fell silent, shuddering in their arms.
“Be at peace, brother,”
they said, their voices blending into one.
“We will never leave you.”

“Lost…”
he whispered back.

Toby laid his psychic touch on Fire’s shoulder.
“We all knew her, Ethan. We saw her through your eyes. She would never have wanted you to kill in her name. You’re not a murderer yet. Come back to us. You won’t be alone anymore. We can find a way out of the darkness together.”

Fire raised his bloodshot eyes to meet Toby’s.
“I would have given them your blood to dull my pain. Your blood, your lady’s, your son’s. Do they matter so little to you that you are so quick to forgive?”

“I forgive nothing,”
said Toby, drawing his hand back.
“But I can’t say I’d have done anything differently if our positions had been reversed.”

Fire got to his feet and regarded Toby with a level gaze.
“I thank you for the offer. I shall consider it.”

The Wind Link shattered when Fire withdrew from the fusion. Noah, Matt, and Andrea collapsed, gasping.

Toby remained the only one still on his feet. “Icarus,” he subvocalized, “tell Nexus White that I will relocate to the Citadel whenever it assigns me quarters.” He sighed. “Ask if it can arrange for something with a view. I’m going to be there for a long time.”

“I’ll pass on the message,” answered the AI. “May I ask what brought about this change of heart?”

“Magic requires sacrifice. It’s time I accepted the consequences of my actions.”

CHAPTER 35

February 2043; Marina District, San Francisco, California; Two weeks later

Layla stood with her hands on her hips, surveying the half-packed cardboard boxes strewn over the floor of Toby’s bedroom. “Amazing,” she said. “How can just one man accumulate so much crap?”

“Hey, don’t insult my threads,” Toby chided, taking down another set of clothes from the closet and throwing them haphazardly into one of the boxes. “I spent a good chunk of my life building this collection.”

She snorted. “I know. It’s pathetic.” She began pulling books off the wall shelves, noting the film of dust that clung to them. “How many of these have you actually read?”

Toby glanced up for a moment and then went back to the closet for another armload of clothing. “I’ve been busy lately. I read when I have time.”

She set the books down carefully in another box, then pulled some more off the shelves. She casually read the back covers before laying them in the box with the others. “I don’t know why you refused to have Armistice Security pack up the apartment if you were worried about infiltrators from the Underground. Surely that would have been more efficient than pressing your friends into service?”

“They volunteered.”

She laughed. “No doubt, they wanted to help. I’m sure the opportunity to ridicule your belongings was merely a welcome bonus.”

Toby scowled at her in mock disdain. “Don’t you have a government to run?”

“I think this is an opportunity for me, as well. It is seldom I get a chance to improve my knowledge of the man I married.” She finished one shelf and started on the next.

Toby stared at her. Then he pulled a thick volume bound in dark green leather from the shelf on the opposite wall. He held it out to her. “If you want to learn about me, then you might want to start here instead.”