Moonwitch (25 page)

Selena met Bea’s husband that evening when the family gathered for supper. Tall and angular, Thaddeus Sidlow had an untidy thatch of brown hair that kept falling into his eyes and a studious air that softened measurably whenever he was near his wife. He obviously doted on Bea. Indeed, his manner was so solicitous that when he stood beside her chair, urging her to add another morsel of chicken to her already full plate, Bea told him good-naturedly to stop hovering over her like a mama bird and take his seat.

Such frankness surprised Selena, and she decided it would probably take her a while to become accustomed to the easy, open ways of the Americans.

She wasn’t conditioned to such noise at the table, either. Usually Lydia dined with the adults while the younger girls ate supper in the nursery, Selena had learned, but this evening both Zoe and Felicity had been allowed to join them in honor of Kyle’s homecoming. At the moment Felicity was engaged in quizzing her brother mercilessly about his last voyage and giggling at his teasing responses.

Yet despite the strangeness, Selena couldn’t help enjoying herself; no one could, she reflected, surrounded by such love and laughter. Glancing down the length of the long table, where Kyle sat at the head, she smiled to see him reach out and tweak his little sister’s freckled nose. His obvious delight in the child made her wonder if perhaps Bea wasn’t right about Kyle being pleased to have a family. Selena had never seen him so relaxed and content as he was now, his eyes brimming with mirth as he threatened to make Felicity walk the plank.

Watching him, Selena was conscious of a yearning to have him treat her with the same familiarity, with the same high-spirited affection and love. Yet when Kyle glanced her way, she quickly lowered her gaze to her plate, afraid that her longing showed on her face.

She had just dared to look up again when Felicity left off giggling and blurted out an explosive question. “Kyle, did you know Lydia has a beau?”

Lydia, who had sat stiffly through two courses with a pained look on her delicate features as if she were above such childish displays of exuberance, glared at her sister. “Do be quiet, Cissy! You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I do so! I saw you kissing Tanner Parkington in the summerhouse.”

Bea let out a soft gasp. “Lydia, you didn’t!” she murmured. Kyle’s heavy eyebrows had snapped together in a frown. The abrupt silence that followed the revelation contrasted starkly with the lively conversation that had gone before, which led Selena to conclude that despite the easy manners here, kissing a young man could compromise a young lady’s reputation as thoroughly in American society as it could in British.

“Is that so, Lydia?” Kyle said at last, a hard note in his tone that Selena recognized. She felt sorry for the girl, if it was true. Which it seemed to be. Lydia’s cheeks couldn’t turn any redder, and the glance she gave Kyle was full of guilt.

“Perhaps it is,” she muttered, “but Felicity has no right bearing tales.”

“In this case, I’m glad she did.” Ignoring Lydia’s sullen look, Kyle turned to Bea. “Tanner…Isn’t that Parkington’s youngest boy?”

“Yes, but he’s not really so young. He’s twenty now.”

“Whatever his age, I intend to warn him away. I won’t have him taking advantage of Lydia.”

“He didn’t take advantage of me!” Lydia protested. “I kissed him back!”

Selena saw Kyle’s gaze narrow ominously on his sister. “Tell me, has Tanner found gainful employment since the last time I was here?”

“Of course not! A gentleman doesn’t work.”

A muscle tightened in Kyle’s jaw. “I don’t know where you came by that harebrained notion, and I won’t dispute it with you, but I don’t want him calling here again. Even if his intentions toward you are honorable, he doesn’t have a penny to his name. The Parkington plantation is mortgaged to the hilt.”

Lydia’s expression grew even more sullen, but she didn’t argue further. Yet Selena was certain the contretemps wasn’t over. She was almost as sure that Kyle hadn’t acted very wisely in forbidding Lydia to see her beau. He was only protecting his sister, of course. But such high-handed use of authority was the surest way to arouse rebellion in a girl of Lydia’s temperament.

Selena was considering whether to speak to Kyle about it later when Zoe suddenly claimed the attention of everyone at the table by accidentally dropping her wineglass and spilling dark red Burgundy down the front of her blue muslin dress and on the Aubusson carpet.

“See, I told you!” Lydia said darkly. “Zoe isn’t capable of eating with the grown-ups. She’s far too clumsy.”

Selena suspected that Lydia was still smarting from her quarrel with her brother and didn’t truly mean to be unkind, but Zoe obviously took the remark to heart. With stricken eyes, the young girl glanced quickly at Kyle, then at Selena.

“If you will excuse me, please…?” she asked, her lower lip trembling as she rose from the table. She fled the room before anyone could say a word.

Kyle scowled at Lydia while Bea struggled to her feet. “I’d better see to her.”

“No, please,” Selena interjected. “Would you allow me?”

Bea looked surprised, but she nodded at once, and so Selena laid down her napkin and followed the trail of wine drops up the stairs.

She found Zoe in her room, sobbing softly into her pillows. Quietly, she sat beside the girl and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know anyone who hasn’t drenched themselves with wine at one time or another,” Selena said gently. “I’ve done it myself dozens of times.”

It took a long moment, but Zoe’s sobs eventually quieted. Selena reached up to stroke Zoe’s hair, and another long moment later she heard her sigh.

“I did so want to make a good impression on you,” Zoe said in a muffled voice.

“I know. And I wanted to do the same with you. Do you realize how mortified I was to hear Horatio swearing? I never taught him those words, I promise you. I suspect he learned them on your brother’s ship. I should have put cotton in his ears, I suppose…Horatio’s ears, not Kyle’s.”

There was a pause, then a muffled chortle.

“Zoe, my love, I don’t think Lydia meant to hurt your feelings. Indeed, she was probably very grateful to you.”

Puzzled, Zoe lifted her tearstained face.

“For diverting everyone’s attention from her problems,” Selena explained.

Zoe cocked her head, seeming to consider that. “Lydia has been so mean since Mama and Papa died. She used to be
nice.
”

“I expect she misses your parents.”

“I suppose. I miss them, too, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have Lydia for a sister.”

“Well, I’ve often wished I had any kind of sister. I’ve never had any, or brothers, either.”

“You don’t have any family?” Her tone sounded shocked. “You must be lonesome.”

Selena smiled softly. “Not any longer. That is…I was hoping you would be my family.”

Shyly, Zoe returned her smile. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, why don’t you change your gown and splash some water on your face, then come down and join us?”

Zoe glanced down at her wine-stained bosom, then flushed with guilt when she saw the red splotches on the yellow counterpane.

“I expect we can get the stains out,” Selena assured her as she rose. “I brought some excellent soap with me from the island.”

“Selena?”

She turned as she reached the door, raising a delicate eyebrow.

“I’m glad you’ve come.”

“I am, too,” Selena said gently, before leaving the room and pulling the door closed behind her.

She was startled when she nearly ran into Kyle’s tall figure. He had obviously been waiting in the hall, listening to her console his sister. But what surprised Selena more was the look in his eyes. Kyle was gazing down at her with the same tender light that she had seen the night of the storm.

She wished he wouldn’t. It flustered her to have him looking at her so, as if she had accomplished some great deed rather than simply comforted a weeping child. And his simple words flustered her more.

“Thank you,” he said softly, his husky tone vibrating through her, warming her.

She swallowed, her voice suddenly deserting her as she gazed into Kyle’s green-gold eyes. She felt herself being drawn into his gaze, into the vital, rugged aura that was so much a part of him. Being this close to him was having a strange effect on her senses. She was too aware of him as a man… of his heat, his power, his strength.

She couldn’t stay there any longer, Selena thought. Not without doing something foolish, like pressing herself against his muscular chest and raising her lips for his kiss. But when she made to pass him, Kyle reached out a hand to stay her.

“Selena… I need to talk to you later.”

Disturbed by his touch, Selena looked down and found herself staring at his hands—strong, callused hands that had the power to tame a wildly plunging ship yet could be gentle and caressing and arousing....

Arousing not just herself, Selena remembered, but someone named Veronique. And Angel. And perhaps someone named Danielle.

She wanted desperately to know about Danielle—or rather she wanted Kyle to reassure her that there was nothing to substantiate her jealous imaginings. But she hadn’t seen him alone until now. Kyle had missed tea, only returning from town shortly before supper.

Selena took a deep breath, summoning her courage. “Bea wouldn’t discuss Danielle. She told me to ask you.”

Kyle released her arm as if he had been burned, his expression wary and oddly grim at the same time. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

She waited expectantly, watching him, but he didn’t say anything more. Instead he looked away, avoiding her gaze. “I don’t know how to say this.” Finally, after glancing at his sister’s closed door, he turned back to Selena, meeting her gaze directly. “We can’t discuss it here.”

She wouldn’t like what he was going to tell her, she could see it on his face. “Where can we discuss it?” Selena asked quietly.

He raked a hand through his chestnut hair in agitation. “Devil take it.” Then, “Very well, come with me.” Grasping her hand, he pulled Selena down the hall into a deserted bedchamber and shut the door behind him.

The windows were shuttered against the setting rays of the sun, and the unlighted room was dim. Selena had difficulty reading Kyle’s expression, but she could see his features were taut with some kind of emotional struggle.

“There just isn’t any good way to say this,” he muttered, again running his fingers through his hair.

His hesitation was beginning to alarm her. “Perhaps you should just tell me outright.”

“Very well. You have a right to know.” His voice was so low Selena hardly heard. “Danielle…Danielle is the mother of my son.”

S
elena stared at Kyle, feeling as if the breath had been knocked from her body. It shouldn’t have been so painful discovering that Kyle had a son, some small part of her mind rationalized. She belonged to a privileged class where gentlemen frequently sired children outside of marriage, where ladies turned a blind eye to their husbands’ transgressions. She had always believed herself willing to accept this. But somehow it was different now—when it was Kyle. Stunned, sickened, Selena regarded him without speaking. Was it her feelings for him that made such bitter jealousy twist her heart?

“Selena…don’t… Please don’t look that way.”

Shakily, she raised a hand to her temple. Kyle wasn’t trying to hurt her, she realized. The rigid muscles of his jaw showed his dismay clearly.

“Look… I didn’t mean to bring it up now… It came out all wrong—”

He broke off as a soft rap sounded at the door. When Zoe called to them, asking if they were coming down to supper, Kyle muttered a frustrated oath under his breath and answered curtly that yes, they would be down in a minute. Then he peered down at Selena with concern. “Can we talk about this after supper?”

Selena nodded. Perhaps there was an explanation…mitigating circumstances that would make the fact that Kyle had a son less painful to accept. And if not, by then she at least would have had time to collect herself.

She managed to school her facial muscles into a semblance of equanimity as they returned to the dining room, but the sparkle had gone out of the evening for her. Indeed, the whole company was subdued. Lydia quietly apologized to her sister and lapsed into silence, and even chatterbox Felicity, who had caused the initial contretemps, found little to say. It was left for Thaddeus and Bea to carry the conversation. Selena was grateful when Kyle ordered a servant to refill everyone’s glass so they could drink a toast to Bea’s expected child, for the wine helped calm the turmoil she was feeling.

Kyle had intended just that, judging that Selena needed something to help sustain her nerves. He wasn’t fooled by her apparent composure. She had been shocked and hurt by his disclosure, he knew. He hadn’t expected that reaction. Anger, perhaps. Scorn, haughtiness, certainly stiffness. Those he could have contended with. But not her look of wounded distress, which made him feel as if he were tormenting something weak and fragile.

Concerned, he glanced at the far end of the table, where Selena was sitting so quietly. She seemed shaken and withdrawn, and the sight tugged at his heart. He wished there had been some way to spare her, but she would have heard the rumors sooner or later. With Bea’s help he had managed to keep the knowledge of his impropriety from the tender ears of his younger sisters, but there were a dozen well-meaning citizens in the district who would have made sure Selena heard every sordid word of gossip and innuendo. No, it was better that the story came from him.

He hadn’t handled it at all well, Kyle thought, watching her over the rim of his glass. But then, was there any good way to tell your wife that you had sired a child with a married woman you barely knew? Put that baldly, it sounded terrible. But it hadn’t really been like that.

And he had paid for his sin in his own way—and was still paying. Repressing the rumors had meant he couldn’t lavish affection on his offspring, which was a father’s right. For Danielle’s sake, he had struggled to quell his own need to be with his son, his yearning to share the joys and trials of Clay’s boyhood, to watch him grow, to teach and guide him.