More Than Enough (Enough #2) (8 page)

Keller leads out the defense and immediately tackles the Citadel player that the quarterback passed the ball to. He does this again and again until they lose possession. This goes on and on still with no one scoring, and Carter is a mess beside me just watching Brayden trying so hard to make something happen.

Finally, with ten minutes left to go, Brayden gets the ball and seems to be moving quicker with more confidence. He spots his wide receiver, Ryder, in a great position without anyone around him, and he just lets the ball fly. His throw is as perfect as it gets, and Ryder catches it with no problem. He sprints to the end zone for a touchdown, and the whole stadium erupts with cheering and yelling. I look across the field and see Brayden eyes just locked on Carter. He mouths, “I love you,” and blows her a kiss right there on the field.

After he runs back to his team on the sideline, Carter just hugs me to her and squeezes hard. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Athena, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. I was such a nervous wreck about him not scoring. Thanks for being such a good friend. I really needed you tonight.” I just soaked up Carter’s words. To be needed and a good friend were new concepts to me, but I loved the thought of having a sweet person like Carter so close to me.

I watched as Keller got out on the field then and looked back in our direction. He seemed to smile as he saw us hugging, and I gasped out loud at seeing his full smile directed at me. Carter looked up at me and asked, “You, okay, Athena?” I nodded distractedly but couldn’t take my eyes off of Keller. “I’m fine, Carter, just relieved that Brayden made such a beautiful pass.”

She laughed wickedly and then told me, “Now, he’s going to be in such a good mood that I’m going to have some fun tonight.” I looked at the wicked gleam in her eye and decided that Carter was sweet but not innocent. For some reason I really liked that combination in her.

I confided, “I wish that I’d be having some fun tonight.” She looked at me contemplatively and then said, “It’s not
like you couldn’t be having as much fun as you wanted tonight, Athena. You’re extremely sexy, and all the guys talk about you on the football team. I don’t understand what the problem is. You could have anybody you wanted.” I look at her and decide to come clean. “Not everybody, some guys can’t seem to get over their stepsisters.” Her mouth forms a perfect O. Then she says, “Well, I can’t pretend that I didn’t know you were interested in him, but I didn’t know that only he would do. Oh, wow, Keller would be tough to get in a relationship, but he’s the best guy around. Athena, I think you’d be perfect for him.” I just smile at Carter’s enthusiasm and lack of jealousy. But all the things I admire about her are also the things that have made Keller love her for so long.

“Well, Carter, I have no idea how to get him interested. I’m just lost. He just seems like the kind of guy that would need time to get to know someone, but he’s not social enough to be out so I can get to know him.” Carter nods and says, “That’s true, Keller doesn’t like a party or a lot of people, but he loves family time. If you start coming with us when we do things together, you’ll get to know each other. He’s already noticed how beautiful you are, so now it’s just getting him to trust you. He has a hard time letting anybody in. But he’s worth every bit
of work that he requires. He gives the people he loves absolutely everything he can.”

We dance during the commercials and chat and make plans for the next few weeks. Carter seems very optimistic about Keller seeing me as more than just another girl. She invites me to go fishing with all three of them on their boat next week. I confessed to her that I’d never been fishing, and she said they’d get me all set up.

After the game, Brayden tackles Carter and just carts her away with Keller walking beside them. I didn’t see the three of them for the rest of the night. They probably had their own family celebration. Brayden’s offense scored the only touchdown of the game, and we won it 10-3.

I went to a party with Rachel, and she was with Brant upstairs for most of it. I talked to some of the girls on the dance team and a few of the football players.
But the party was the last place I really wanted to be. I wondered again where Keller, Brayden, and Carter had gone, and why couldn’t I have gone with them.

Chapter 7

Keller

The week after the game, I was just struggling every night with dreaming about Carter. Some of me didn’t even mind the dreams, if that was all I could have of her. But I was starting to remember what I’d fantasized about while I was with her, and I couldn’t seem to stop it from affecting me.

Brayden had to stay after practice again to run through some new offensive plays, and Carter was in our dorm room studying with me. The room just felt so small, and I could ha
rdly think with her delicious scent surrounding me. She knows me so well that she must’ve sensed something was wrong because she moved closer to me and put a hand on my shoulder. She leaned in close and spoke softly but with concern, “Kell, is everything okay with you. You’ve just seemed really on edge this last week, and I’m here for you if you need anything at all.” How about a blow job? It’s so wrong, but all I can picture as I look at her beautiful face is touching her the way I want. I take a deep breath, and she leans closer thinking I’m about to say something.

Her body so close to me while I stare into her eyes is just too much for me to handle. I lean in and pull her to me and kiss her. At first, she’s frozen in shock, but she pushes me off right after she realizes what is happening. I know I should feel guilt, but I just wanted to feel her lips on mine once. I can’t even muster regret that I took advantage in that moment.

Carter is breathing hard and looks angry with me which is extremely rare. After she stares at me for a good minute, she says, “What the hell, Keller. How could you just lean in and kiss me like that? Brayden is your brother, and I love him. I thought you and I were doing okay. Now I have to tell Bray, who is already worried about leaving me alone with you, that you kissed me. I love you like my own brother, and I want to be there for you. But the looks you’ve been giving me and your actions are making it almost impossible.”

I feel the first stirrings of anger towards Carter that I’ve ever had.
“Do you want me to just turn off how I feel? Tell me how cause I’d loved to fucking know how that works. I love you so damn much that I almost feel suffocated by it. Since you walked into my life, all I’ve ever thought is about you. Do you know what it’s like to watch you and Bray together? You guys have your hands on each other constantly. And I’ve heard you when I’ve gotten out of class early. Do you know how fucking much that hurts? You don’t. Because you wouldn’t be concerned about how Bray feels while I’m drowning in agony just watching the two of you. He has you, Carter. He touches you anytime he wants, and I’ve got nothing. Just to be able to look and talk to you is the highlight of my shitty day. I’m sorry that I lost my damn mind and tried to kiss you, but I wish that you and Brayden would try to understand how hard this whole thing has been for me.

The only two people I’ve got in the world are with each other. Sometimes when we are all three together, I feel like the two of you don’t even see me. You both seem to think that I can just move on and find another girl to love. But could Brayden have moved on from you or you from him. It’s not as easy as what you two want it to be. And you’re the only dream I’ve ever really had so some of
me doesn’t even want to just let go of it. Just because you don’t love me the way I love you, doesn’t mean I love you any less. It just makes everything hurt a hell of a lot more.”

Tears are streaming down her face, and I can tell that she’s hurting for me. I’ve told her now how much pain she’s caused, and she can hardly stand it. C
arter is everything that is loving and kind, and she hates to hurt the people that she loves. I can already see the regret on her face.

She walks towards me with her arms out, and I wrap mine around her. I just hold her close and let myself cry. I know that she’ll never be mine, and I have to accept that. If I don’t Brayden will take her away from me, and nothing could be worse than that.

Brayden walks into us holding each other and crying. And I can tell he switches to protective mode immediately. “What the hell is going on? Kell, why is Carter crying? What did you fucking do?” He tears her out of my arms as he’s asking questions and lifts her up in his. I decide to confess that I kissed her now so Carter doesn’t have to try to handle it later when she’s on her own with him.

             
I look right at my brother, and just say it, “Brayden, I kissed Carter. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. She pulled back immediately. But I told her how much it hurts me to watch her and you together, and that I love her. That’s the way I feel, and I just can’t pretend to the two of you anymore that I’m not in fucking agony when I see you together.”

             
I see Brayden ball his fists and his face tighten, and I can tell he’s trying to hold himself back from attacking me right here. I know we’ll have to deal with this later between us. He isn’t holding back for me but for Carter. We both know that she’s already suffering from hurting me, and if we fight, she would just be broken up about it.

             
I feel better now that I put it all out there, and I know that the situation in the room is not going to get better tonight so I decide to head out. I start packing my stuff when Bray comes over to me and says coldly, “Don’t worry about leaving. Carter and I will head to the condo. You can stay here. Don’t worry about us though. We might stay there for the week. We’ll still attend classes and practice, but I need some distance from you right now.”

             
I understand why my brother is angry, but it doesn’t take any of my anger or resentment away. No matter what I do, he’s the one that has the best thing in both of our lives as his. I’m never going to feel bad for him when he has her. He slams a few things around and keeps Carter on the other side of the room. Finally, they’re ready to go. Carter says softly, “Bye Keller,” and they head out the door.

             
Even with them gone, the room is suffocating me, and I have to get out before the dead silence in the room gets to me. I dress in my running shorts and decide to try to clear my head with some fresh air. I start down one of the college running paths and am adjusting my ear phones when I run smack into a much smaller body that falls at the impact.

             
I look up and its Carter’s friend, Athena, on the ground. She looks as sexy as usual with her dark red hair in a ponytail and short neon green shorts on with a black sports bra. I extend her a hand and apologize, “I’m so sorry, Athena. I was looking down and not where I was going.” She hops up gracefully and smiles up at me. “No problem, I was just getting a run in before it gets to dark, and I didn’t see you in front of me until it was too late. It’s my fault as much as yours.”

             
For some reason talking to her helps overcome the feelings of loneliness that we’re bothering me since the fight, I find myself asking her, “Do you want to run with me? It would be safer for you, and I’d feel better about you having someone out here with you, even if it isn’t dark yet.” She seems to light up and nods eagerly which is does amazing things to my ego. She brushes the dirt off and stretches her long sexy legs.

             
“I feel so much safer running with somebody, but Rachel was too busy tonight. I really was in the mood to run so I just chanced it and came out by myself. I’m so glad you were here.” We start running and get easily in a good rhythm together. Carter and I struggle finding a pace that works for both of us since she’s so much shorter than me, but with Athena that doesn’t seem to be a problem.

             
I remember how much support she gave Carter last Friday at the game, and tell her, “Thanks for being such a good friend to Carter. I saw how you were when she was worried about Brayden, and I really appreciate you being there for her.” She smiles at me and says, “Carter is an amazing person, and as I get to know her, I’ve realized that I want to have more people that I can trust in my life.”

             
We don’t chat as much as we concentrate on running and just enjoy being outside, but it feels like we’re connected even when we don’t talk. I think how nice this is to share with somebody else, and I try to remember the last time I’ve been able to do something like this with Carter, but can’t. Brayden and her run together now. We slow down and start to walk after five miles. I try to think about how to casually bring up running together again since tonight was just what I seemed to need.

             
Finally, I just go for it. “Hey, Athena, I really liked running with you tonight. Do you think we could do it again soon?” She raises her eyebrow at me and seems surprised by my question. “Sure, Keller, that’d be great. I love to have someone to run with. How bout I give you my number and when a time works for you, just give me a call.” I whip out my phone and get her number down. Then I walk her back to her dorm because it has gotten darker since we started running.

             
She leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek and says, “Good night,” before I can even get out a decent goodbye. I watch her as she walks through the door and think to myself that her ass is as sexy as her legs. I feel myself reacting to looking at her and am surprised because I normally don’t react physically to anyone but Carter.

             
I can tell that Athena is interested in me but not pushy about it, and she is sexy and beautiful. She doesn’t seem to want to use any of us for anything. I’m never going to have Carter, maybe I should see how a casual relationship with Athena could work. I could release enough of this sexual tension inside of me that I won’t attack Carter while we’re studying again. That’d be nice. Brayden would relax some then and let me hang out with Carter more if I was seeing somebody. This could work out nicely all around, but I could still love Carter and enjoy every second that I was able to be with her.

             
Brayden doesn’t come back to the room at all that week, and I barely see him and Carter around campus even except for football practice. I call Athena, and we run two more times together. I start to let myself admire her body without feeling any guilt about it. Carter is fucking my brother how many times a day. Why the hell should I feel guilty for looking at another girl?

             
The night of our last run, she kissed my cheek the same as usual and went inside. I had to fight back the urge to grab her ass and bring her to me as she leaned in. After I went to sleep last night, I dreamed about me taking her in the woods standing up while I gripped her ass to bring her up and down on me. It was unbelievable, and the first night I hadn’t dreamed of Carter in years.

             
I started to wonder how I could pursue a sexual relationship with Athena and make sure to keep it casual. I haven’t pursued a woman except for Carter in years. I was out of practice, but when Athena brought up a party after the football game on Saturday night, as we were talking after running into each other on campus, I knew that was my chance. I told her that I’d be going and asked if she wanted to ride with me. She looked surprised but agreed quickly, and we made plans to meet up after the game.

             
She asked excitedly, “Will Brayden and Carter be coming with us?” I hadn’t really talked to either of them this week and didn’t really know how to answer her. “I don’t know their plans yet for the weekend, but maybe.” She lit up after that and chatted happily until we had to head to different classes. The weekend was looking up. I had a beautiful girl that was interested in me, and I wanted her badly. Carter’s face flashed through my head, but I tried to push it away.

             
I get back to from my last class and walk into my dorm. Immediately, I spot my brother at his desk. I just stare at him and wait for him to speak. I feel guilty about kissing Carter but conflicted. I know I’m still angry at him for having her and just expecting me to deal with it, and I don’t know if that’ll ever go away.

             
Finally, he says, “Hey, we decided to come back cause living on campus with classes and practices is more convenient, but, Keller, right now, I need you to not touch Carter. The thought of you kissing her has me still just fucking furious. I know you love her, but I can’t handle you crossing lines like that. I don’t fucking have a clue what we’re going to do. She’s mine, and if you weren’t my brother, I would’ve come close to killing you by now. I love her more than anything else in the world, and I can’t live without her. I’m sorry that us being together hurt you, but I can’t pretend to regret the only thing I’ve ever wanted. I would never accept losing her. So get it out of damn head that there’s any hope left because I’d never let her go.”

             
Brayden is normally the more relaxed, fun one of the two of us, but his expression when he looks at me is harsher than I’ve ever seen it. I’ve pushed my brother to the breaking point with how I’ve not been able to let Carter go. I’m still going to love her, but I’ll try to not put it in his face. And showing some interest in Athena should make him ease up on me a little. Nobody has to know that I never plan to stop loving Carter. She’s been the only pure, perfect thing in my life, and I always want to love her. But to heal my relationship with my brother, I’ll pretend to try to move on completely if I can to salvage our relationship.