Authors: Ashley Johnson
“Hey babe, relax. Your tense I can tell. Trust me ok?” He lifted our hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles.
“I trust you Luke, fully.”
I said as I took a deep breath and then let it out. I trust him more than anything or anyone I know.
He pulled up at a local hot spot called Larry’s Cabin. They had everything from fried shrimp and fish to gumbo to steaks. Mom and I used to come here all the time
, partially because she hated cooking and partially because we just loved the food. At one point, they knew what we wanted as soon as we walked in the door. I used to always get the fried shrimp with extra hushpuppies, talk about amazing. That was years ago though. Lots of happy memories, the few that I had left. As I unbuckled my seat, I looked out my window and froze. Luke’s windows were tinted so I prayed she couldn’t see me. Why were we really here?
“Mace, you ok?” Luke looked at me with concerned eyes.
“Why are we here Luke? I can’t get out of the car. Please.” My voice was panicky and my hands were starting to shake and sweat. Crap. “That’s my Mom right there.” I pointed to the lady wearing jeans and a simple red button up blouse with black flats. She looked the same as I remembered. She looked like nothing ever happened and it took everything in me to hold back my tears and anger.
“I know. This is your surprise.
Gary called me last week and asked if I could talk to her and she asked to see you.” I stared at him in disbelief trying not to lose my cool in front of him. What the hell was he thinking? “I know I should have talked to you, I’m sorry Mace. Please just let’s have this dinner ok.”
“Luke, I haven’t seen her since I left. I don’t know if I can do this. I’m scared to death.
How could you plan this and not tell me anything?” I refused to let any tears fall. Weakness was not an option right now or ever. What do you say to someone who you haven’t seen in years? What do you say to someone who is to blame for your whole world being turned upside down?
Luke squeezed my hand and looked into my fearful eyes.
I kept them glued to his for the security that lied there. Without that security I was sure to fall apart. “I love you Macy. More than life itself. I am here for you, I’ll be right there the whole time. Any time you feel uncomfortable, except right now, because we haven’t even gotten out of the car, you tell me and we will leave. No questions asked. And I didn’t say anything because I knew you would flip out and not come. It’ll be ok babe I promise.”
I searched his eyes for what seemed like forever before I answered him. I know this was a hurdle I needed to pass but I was fine with waiting a little longer.
When I say a little longer, I mean maybe never. I sucked it up and replied, “Let’s do this.” I put on the bravest face possible and pulled him in for a quick kiss. “Thank you Luke, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
His eyes told me everything was going to be ok and I clung to all the security I needed in them. I was giving myself a little pep talk in my head, telling myself I could do this over and over again.
I stepped out of the car and waited for Luke to meet me. He grabbed my hand and gave it one more reassuring squeeze and we made our way up to the front of the restaurant. Would she even know it was me? She was beautiful
with her brown hair that closely resembled mine. She really did look exactly as I had remembered. She could have any man. Why she stayed with that, I have no idea. I never saw what was so special in him, especially after he did what he had. I used to wonder what it would be like to have the perfect life, well I mean the perfect teenage years and I always resented her for that. My younger childhood years were the best ever. Mom always took me to the zoo or the beach, anywhere there was to have fun. Then most of the way into my teenage years, things started to change. I know she tried the best she could but still that was no excuse. In the blink of an eye, everything I knew was taken away from me and I was like a scared kid all over again. I was the kid who got lost in the store and searched forever for my mom and never found her again.
I didn’t want to let go of Luke’s hand
. I held onto it as if my life depended on it. I really felt like I might die if he let go of my hand. Maybe I would just melt into the cement where I stood, there that sounds like the perfect solution to this problem. Later on everyone would hear on the news about the local girl who turned into a puddle of goo on the cement and was never seen again. I squeezed his hand, any harder all the circulation may just stop. As we got closer, she recognized me. Holy hell she actually recognized me. I froze, unable to move my legs. It literally felt like my shoes were cemented into the sidewalk. Luke sensed my hesitation when I refused to move any further and gave my hand a gentle squeeze letting me know it was ok. Was it though? Was I ready for this step? I drew in a deep breath and began to slowly move again. My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt like it was going to explode.
She looked like she hadn’t aged at all in the last few years. She looked like the Mom that I rem
embered all my happy times with and all the wonderful memories that I didn’t suppress so far back came flooding back in. Memories of a mom who did anything and everything to protect her daughter and give her a good life.
She wrapped her arms around me instantly, holding me for what seemed like an eternity.
Slowly I wrapped my arms around her to seal the hug. I took in the familiar scent of cherry blossom body spray and found a sudden calmness wash over me. The breath that just kept still inside of me was let out and I could relax. I felt like I should be crying or maybe she should be, but we just stood there hugging. The moment was completely bittersweet, like out of a movie. Long lost daughter and mother reunite over dinner, cue the music.
“Macy, I love you so much baby girl. It’s so good to see you.” She pulled away and looked into my eyes. Her brown eyes had hints of tears in the corners about ready to start spilling out.
“I love you too Mom. How did you get ahold of Luke?”
“I called
Gary and said I needed you in my life. I messed up one too many times and I refuse to keep doing it. He left town and I know he will never be back. So tell me, when is the date? You two are engaged right? Oh we are going to have so much fun planning this!” She clapped her hands together and an instant smile spread across her face. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and it was actually kind of nice to see her that happy.
My face turned about twenty shades of red
though and I tried not to look at Luke. We have never even discussed anything close to marriage. How embarrassing. I mean I had the mere thought on the way here that maybe he was going to possibly propose because of how secretive he was but that didn’t seem to be the case today. That was something I only discussed with Trevor and we all know how that ended up. He left town and I was left heartbroken until I met Luke. I was speechless. No words came out and I realized Mom was just staring at me waiting for an answer.
Luke stepped in and answered for me, which I was grateful for.
Shocked, but still grateful. “No ma’am, we aren’t engaged yet. Maybe one day soon though.” One day? Yikes! I got butterflies instantly when he said that. Did he mean it or was he just saying that to fill the awkward silence. That was the girl inside of me who dreamed of being married to the perfect man and Luke was always perfect to me.
“Mom,
Gary must have told you about Trevor. That’s who I was engaged to.”
“Oh, honey I’m sorry I should have listened a little better before I opened my mouth. He told me something else too but I just can’t put my finger on it.”
She stood there thinking with her finger on her lip. I knew exactly what she was fishing around to remember. How could I forget? I should still be pregnant right now. I should have a big round belly and I should be feeling my baby girl kick everyday. The baby was supposed to be due around the time of Halley’s wedding. I took a deep breath and then immediately let it out.
“I had a miscarriage Mom. Trevor and I were supposed to have a baby and I lost the baby when I was five months along. Is that what else
Gary told you?”
Her face turned white and I realized maybe he hadn’t told her. We both seemed to have a knack for sticking our feet in our mouth. Luke’s jaw even dropped a little. This was something he and I really only discussed once when he told me about his fiancée and
unborn baby and then we never opened that conversation again. It was the past and while I know he grieved them from time to time, just like I grieved my unborn baby, we tended to leave it in the past.
“Honey, oh my gosh I never knew. Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were pregnant?” She looked as though she were going to say something else and then stopped. She knew good and well why she never got a call.
“Mom, it’s ok. I know it was for the best. I’m ok now I swear. I have Luke. He came into my life at the best possible moment.” I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. His green eyes sparkling back at me made me melt a little more inside. “Can we move this inside, I’m starving.”
Luke nodded his head and we made our way inside and sat at a corner table. I was famished. When I first saw Mom I wasn’t sure if an appetite would be present but I was definitely hungry. The waitress came and took our drink order and then our food. I ordered a fried shrimp platter with
extra hushpuppies, almost exactly what I used to order as a kid. It was absolutely delicious just like I remembered. Luke occasionally would reach over and try to take a shrimp and I’d pretend to stab him with the fork. It’s not my fault he ordered fried catfish.
We talked a little more
about everything and nothing all at once. Mom told me about what she’s been up to and how she has been learning how to sew. Apparently she’s been making couch pillows and small blankets. She offered to make me one and I just simply smiled. Lord knows when I would actually receive it. She’s also been taking cooking classes and has about mastered meringue. After almost two hours we left and stood outside where we stood before we walked in. Mom hugged me one more time and I took in her cherry blossom scent once more, not knowing when I would see her again.
“Are you ok alone Mom?” I was worried about her. She always had someone around and now she was by herself.
I’m sure she was just fine but I just couldn’t help but imagine her all alone in that house. Maybe that’s why she has taken on all these different crafts. I mean I don’t think I’d ever see Mom sewing in a million years. She just didn’t seem to have the knack for it back then.
“I’m perfectly fine Macy don’t you worry about me.
I’ve got all my projects plus work to occupy my time. You kids be safe driving back and call me anytime you hear me? You’ve got you a good man here Mace, I’m so proud of you baby girl.”
“I love you too Mom. Thank you.”
We all hugged then went our separate ways. Mom went towards her car and Luke opened the Challenger’s door for me. I sat there taking in the last two hours and how happy they had made me. Luke sat in the driver’s seat and before he could start the car I grabbed his face and pulled him in for a long kiss. Our mouths crushed together with enough passion to light a fire, but that was every kiss we had. One word, amazing.
He tilted his head to the side and gave me the sexiest half smile.
“What was that for baby?”
“Thank you for that Luke.
I was so scared at first. You have no idea what that meant to me. I’m glad I trusted you.” I quickly added, “Sorry about what she said in there.”
He started the car and looked at me with a mischievous look in his beautiful
green eyes. “Which part would that be?”
I slapped his arm and laughed
like a kid. He knew exactly what I was talking about. “Don’t play sly with me Luke Nolan. I know you know what I mean.”
“Us being engaged? Well I don’t know maybe she’s up to something.” He kissed my cheek and then turned on the radio as we drove off
and headed back home. As soon as the radio came on, I didn’t have a chance to even think of something to say to that.
‘Cruise’ by Florida Georgia Line came on and for the first time since I’ve known him, he actually was singing along
to something. I thought hearing Trevor’s voice melted me, no. Just Luke singing made me want to pull this car over and take him in the backseat. I didn’t care that people were all around. I smiled at him and began singing along with him. Times like this, I knew right here with him was exactly where I belonged. This was my life. Shit, I love this man so much.
A few songs later we pulled back up at our apartment.
I kissed him as soon as we parked. I was unsure of so many things as this day began but as it was ending everything was much clearer. I loved this man so much. Probably from the moment I met him in the bar that night. Our mouths met and sparks flew. We kissed all the way up to the door then once we got inside I pulled him straight into the bedroom.
Chapter 2
Nightmares were becoming a thing of my past. I no longer saw Trevor in my dreams and I surely didn’t keep reliving that night my stepdad first came into my room. I had found all my closure, especially after meeting with Mom yesterday. I was so glad she had reached out to Gary who in turn reached out to Luke. I looked over to find he was still sleeping and he looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake him. I glanced at his tattoos on his chest that peeked out from the covers. Since the first day I came home with him, I’d admired all his symbols he had inked on his body. So much that I had him give us matching tattoos after I learned that he was a tattoo artist. The Chinese symbol for strength is what we had, to symbolize how strong we were for everything we had been through. On his chest he had the date that his fiancée and their unborn baby were killed in the automobile accident along with their initials. He had a bunch of tribal symbols around that enough to mask it in, but you could tell if you were close enough. I hated that he had to experience something so hurtful in his life.