Authors: Renee Ericson
When a school of angelfish scatters into the coral below, I rise above the surface of the crystal-blue waters, remove my mask, and take in my surroundings. About twenty feet from where I’m floating are Gerard, the son of my parents’ close friends, and his wife, Caroline. He and I have been friends since I was a teenager, and we’ve spent many vacations together in places just like this one. They both smile and wave in my direction, and then they swim toward me. I meet them halfway.
“Evelyn,” Gerard says in his muted French accent, “did you see anything good down there?”
“Not really. Just the usual fish over here. Foster and I did see a turtle a little bit ago.” I point to a spot about a hundred yards away. “Over there, where the water darkens.”
“We’ll have to check it out. We haven’t seen much.”
Addressing Caroline, I ask, “How was your travel?”
“Not too bad.” She removes the mask from her face and washes the lens in the salty water. “At least the flight was direct from New York, so I didn’t have to deal with a layover.”
“I thought you two were in London now?”
Gerard did most of his family’s business from there, and Caroline took a job as an attorney with a local firm last year.
“Caroline had business in New York,” Gerard answers for her, “so she came straight from there.”
“I see.”
“You must be very excited for your wedding,” Caroline says to me, strapping the mask back onto her head. “This place is so beautiful. It’s a wonderful setting.”
“Thank you. I am.” I pucker my mouth. “Well, I’m ready to get married.”
“I remember that feeling,” she states, reminiscent.
Gerard straightens the goggles over his face. “You’re welcome to join us as we explore. Maybe you can help us find that sea turtle?”
“Thanks”—I glance over my shoulder—“but I need to find Foster. Wolfie pulled him aside for some kind of man talk, but they should be done by now.” Slipping my mask back over my face, I say, “Thank you both so much for coming, by the way. It really means a lot to me and Foster to have you here.”
“It’s our pleasure,” says Caroline. “We will see you at lunch.”
The couple swims toward the dark blue area that I pointed out, and I head in the opposite direction. I suspect Foster and Wolfgang are hanging out in the small cove where we first ventured together upon arrival. It’s a semi-secluded space just beyond the sights of where our group is set up, and that’s where I find Wolfgang. Seconds later, Foster breaks the water’s surface, flings off his snorkel and goggles, and busts out in a fit of laughter.
“What are you two doing?” I ask, joining my favorite men.
“Feeding the fish,” Wolfgang replies impishly. His shoulders twitch, like he’s waving his hands below the surface.
“Feeding them what?”
Foster chuckles. “His…” He points down.
“His feet?” I’ve been subject to a fishy toe nibble in the past, so it seems logical.
“Not even close. Think a little higher.”
“His belly button?”
“Lower than that.”
A visual smacks my brain all at once. “Oh. My. God. They’re munching on your sea serpent?”
“If that’s code for my dick, then yes,” Wolfie says.
“Um, do I even want to know why?”
“Probably not, but you’ll make us tell you, so I’m going to.” Foster skims his fingers down my lower back, and then he affectionately pinches my ass. “Wolfie lost his shorts, and now, the wildlife are curious about…his little friend.”
“It is not little,” Wolfgang insists. “There is nothing little about me.”
“Let’s not talk about your…human eel,” I say. “I have a good enough visual. How did you lose your shorts?”
Wolfgang coyly raises a brow. “Who says I lost them?”
“You took them off on purpose?” I’m not a prude by any means, but a lot of people here would easily be aghast by the full display of Wolfgang’s down-under anatomy.
“I’m just being one with nature.” Wolfgang jerks to the side and then laughs. “Fucking fish.”
“Oh shit. Are they…” I raise my brows.
He tweaks again, splashing water everywhere, and I crack up.
“Holy hell.”
“They won’t stop.” He giggles.
“Do you want them to?”
“Don’t talk kinky with me.”
“Why? Because you might like that too much?” I tease.
“Ha-ha.”
Wolfgang playfully endures the curious fish that have taken an interest in his naughty bits. When the novelty of the situation begins to pass, I decide it’s time to draw Wolfgang’s faux torture to a close.
I ask, “Where are your shorts?”
“He really lost them,” Foster answers, stifling his own laughter, as Wolfgang continues to fight off the penis-nipping fish. “Apparently, he took them off over there”—Foster points to a nearby cove—“and he put them on a rock. A wave must have taken them.”
“Or a sea turtle with really good fashion sense,” Wolfgang offers, like it’s an acceptable possibility.
“Yes,” I kid, “I’m sure there’s a tortoise runway show just around the corner, and he wanted to look his best.”
From the nearby shore, a bell rings, indicating that lunch is ready and we are all to head in for our afternoon meal. Foster and I share a look and then one with Wolfgang.
“Go on,” Wolfgang insists, acknowledging the circumstance. “You’re the couple who everyone flew here to see. They won’t start without you.”
“But what about you?” I ask. “You’re my man of honor, and we can’t just leave you out here by yourself.”
“Don’t worry; I’ll be right behind you.”
“You can’t come up there while naked,” I protest. “Not that I would care, but holy hell, my mother would have a heart attack and claim to have gone blind by your…”
“Manliness?” He crinkles his brow. “I won’t be naked. Go on.”
“He’s right, Evelyn,” Foster agrees. “We need to go. We can make an excuse for him, if need be.”
I hem and haw a bit before finally conceding. “All right then.” I start toward the beach with Foster at my side. “Please don’t be too far behind.”
“I won’t.”
Foster and I swim to the shore, following our guests to the table arranged in the sand. I check the sea at my back, and Wolfgang is still floating in the same place where we left him. He waves to us, assuring that he’s okay.
“I hate leaving him out there,” I say to Foster. “It’s not right.”
“What choice do we have? Besides, he’ll be fine. Last I checked, he was an adult and fully capable of figuring things out.”
“True. Could you imagine my mother’s face if he walked up to lunch with his dick slapping around?” I shake my head.
He shrugs. “If the worst thing to happen during our wedding weekend is everyone seeing Wolfie’s schlong, I would consider us lucky. My cousin fell in the chocolate fondue fountain at her wedding reception after having too many tequila shots. She looked like a walking pile of diarrhea. Now, that is a disaster.”
I laugh. “You’re right. Maybe I should thank Wolfie for keeping the attention off of me and putting it on his slippery eel.”
“I suggest sending him a card.”
Joining the rest of the group, we take our seats near the head of the table. The space next to me, Wolfgang’s place, is notably empty.
“Where’s Wolfie?” Chandra questions from the other end of the table.
“He might not make it for lunch,” Foster simply replies.
“Is everything all right?” Foster’s mother asks, adjusting her wide-brimmed hat. “Is he not feeling well?”
“He should be fine.” Foster takes out a pair of sunglasses from a nearby duffel and places them over his face. “He had a wardrobe malfunction.”
“What is that?” My mother sips her ice water.
“I do believe that’s code for, his garment is no longer covering the parts it should,” my father explains to my mother.
“Oh,” she responds. Then, my father’s explanation seems to register with her. “Oh!”
“I have an extra suit he can borrow,” Parker offers. “I think we are about the same size. It’s in my bag.”
“That would be great,” I say, thankful for a solution.
My mother’s face goes through a myriad of emotions as Parker gets up from the table and makes his way toward his bag.
“You should help him,” I say quietly to Foster. “Let him know where he can find Wolfie.”
“Good idea.” Foster rises from his seat. He stops before extending to his full height. “Change of plans.”
My mother gasps.
Tromping up the sandy beach in a makeshift underwear-looking thing made of large leaves is the man of honor, Wolfgang. He confidently wears his abnormal attire, like he would any piece of clothing, and then takes a seat next to me.
“What’s up, everyone?” he asks nonchalantly, scooting forward in his seat.
No one responds.
“Wolfie, nice outfit,” I remark, failing to keep a straight face.
“Thanks.” He takes a sip of my white wine and then adds, “I knew that tribal art class I took in college would come in handy someday.”
“Indeed. Thank goodness for academics.”
SEVEN
Foster
After one minor incident that involved lost swimwear, a tasty lunch, and a little more swimming, everyone is back at the resort and in their rooms, getting ready for dinner.
Since starting this trip, this is the first moment that I’ve spent without Evelyn. I miss her company already. She was right. Tonight, without each other, is going to be an acute brand of torture. Absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder
,
but I’m already so fond of her. Now, I simply want to be with her.
Straightening my tie, I give myself one last look in the mirror and then slip on my glasses since my eyes are too tired for contacts from a day of sun and sand. I find my jacket in the closet, toss it over my shoulder, and then head over to Evelyn’s room to escort her to our final moments together before we are bound to one another forever.
My room is on the other side of the resort, a strategy on her mother’s part to ensure we won’t see one another before the nuptials, so it’s a bit of a hike before I’m knocking on Evelyn’s door. Of course, I don’t even have a key. We were given strict instructions about protocol.
“Coming,” Evelyn singsongs.
She opens the door, and the sight of her is absolutely breathtaking. Her blonde hair is draped to one side, flowing down over her shoulder. She’s wearing a blue dress that leaves just enough to the imagination for me to…imagine things. And, oh, do I imagine.
“Glasses tonight? So sexy, Fozzie.”
“I’m glad you approve. Are you ready to go?”
“Almost.” She widens the door. “Let me grab my bag. Why don’t you come in?”
I don’t budge. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Too tempting. I’m trying to be good and stick to the rules.”
“It’s not like I asked you to come in for a quickie.”
“No, you didn’t. But it’s not like I wouldn’t try to get one. Trust me, it’s safer if you, me, and a bed aren’t in the same room.”
“Since when do you require a bed?”
“Will you just grab your bag?”
“Bossy.” Evelyn disappears into her room and then meets me at the threshold with a purse slung over her bare shoulder. “Is this marriage foreshadowing? I’m kind of getting off from your commanding nature.”
“Of course you are.”
With her by my side, we walk through the maze of the resort to a restaurant high up on a cliff that overlooks the water. Our friends and family greet us with warm smiles, hugs, and affectionate kisses. The champagne is poured, and the appetizers are placed in front of us when my father rises from his seat to address everyone.
“This is the time when tradition calls for a word from the groom’s family. First, I would like to say hello to everyone and welcome you all here tonight in celebration of Foster and Evelyn’s wedding. I’m Clayton Blake, father of the groom, and I’m thrilled to be a part of such a joyous event.”
My father rounds the table to where Evelyn and I are seated. “My wife and I had the pleasure of meeting Evelyn for the first time when she and Foster were attending a wedding themselves. She delighted us with her charm and conversation, making an excellent first impression; however, that’s not the thing I remember most about our first encounter.” He grips my shoulder. “It was the way my son was so obviously enraptured by the beautiful woman sitting next to him now. He might have been coy about their relationship, claiming they were just friends, but it was as clear to me then as it is now that she was the girl who would steal his heart forever.”
He turns to me. “Not all men are lucky to find a girl or a love like that, but I’m happy that you have.” He lifts his glass, and everyone at the table joins him. “Let us raise our glasses in celebration of these two. I wish you both nothing but the best in all the years to come.”
Evelyn
“Cheers,” says everyone in the room.
We all drink from our champagne glasses, our guests clap their hands, and Foster begins to stand. The father and son formidably shake one another’s hand and then embrace. Clayton leans over and kisses me on the cheek, and I thank him for the kind words and wonderful toast.
When the applause dies down and Clayton has taken his seat once again, Foster remains standing. “I just want to take a moment to thank everyone for making the trip to celebrate our upcoming wedding. I want to give a special thanks to my parents, for their love and support; to the Cunnings, for having such an amazing daughter; and to Evelyn, my fiancée, a girl I fell in love with the moment she spoke…”
The group laughs.
Foster adjusts the frames of his glasses and then tucks his free hand into his pocket. “Everyone here might think I’m kidding, but no one had ever spoken to me the way she did. I liked it…a lot. She held my interest then and still does to this day.” He now looks at me with those endearing deep blue eyes. “The law of attraction didn’t apply to us, so we made up our own rules. Thank you so much for saying yes to a lifetime with me. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, the beginning of our journey into forever.”
I caress his fingertips. “Me, too.”
Raising his glass, Foster says, “To Evelyn, the most wonderful woman in my world.”