Authors: Allie Everhart
"He's not scrawny. He's tall. And really muscular."
A loud voice comes over the speaker. "Just an update for everyone. We're having an issue with the mic but we're getting a new one. The band will start shortly."
Amber ignores the update. "So what's the deal? Why won't you go out with him?"
"What's his name?" Matt asks.
Amber looks at him funny. "What difference does that make?"
"Sometimes girls are turned off by a name."
"That's not true," she insists, but then says to me, "Is it?"
"It could be true, but in this case it's not. I like his name."
"So what is it?"
"Austin. He didn't tell me his last name."
"You mean the guy in the band?" Matt asks me.
"What guy in the band?"
"The lead guitarist's name is Austin."
"Oh, um, no. It must be a different Austin. This guy didn't say he was in the band."
Amber turns to Matt. "Do you know what the Austin in the band looks like?"
"Yeah. So do you. He's that guy you and every other girl are always drooling over."
"You mean Austin Wheeler?"
"Yeah. The guy with all the muscles. I wonder how many hours a day he has to work out to look like that." He takes a swig of his drink.
"Okay, wait." Amber shakes her head really fast like she's clearing her thoughts. "So Austin Wheeler's part of Vandyl? No, that's not right. He's in a different band but I can't remember the name."
"No, it's this one," Matt says. 'I told you that the other night when I was telling you about the lead singer coming into the store."
She pauses a moment, then nearly bursts out of her chair as she turns back to me. "Are you telling me that Austin Wheeler asked you out?"
"It's not him. He's not in the band."
"Tall?" she asks. "All muscle? Short dark hair? Gorgeous blue eyes? Around our age?"
That pretty much describes him. What if it
is
him? But if it is, why wouldn't he tell me he was in the band?
"Austin!" a girl yells. She's right in front of the band, jumping around like a lunatic. She must be drunk.
She leans over to say something to her friend and I get a glimpse of the guy in front of her. It IS him. It's Austin. He's standing there with a guitar, talking to some other guy as he messes with the mic.
"Did you see him?" Amber points at the stage.
"Yeah. That's him."
"Oh my God, are you serious?" She slams her hand on the table. "Austin Wheeler asked you out and you turned him down? You know how many girls are dying to go out with him? He's like the hottest guy in Chicago!"
"Hey," Matt says from behind her. "I'm right here."
She turns back and kisses him. "You're hot too."
"Yeah, thanks," he says, rolling his eyes and smiling.
"You are." She kisses him again. "I'm just trying to make a point here for Kira." She turns back to me. "Austin doesn't ask girls out. He doesn't have to, because girls ask HIM out. So the fact that he asked you out is a huge deal."
"Well, it doesn't matter. I don't go out with liars. He should've told me he was in the band."
The sound of a guitar rings through the speakers, and then I hear his voice. "Ready to rock this joint?"
Girls scream all at once, and the ones up front are reaching out toward Austin and yelling his name. They're blocking my view so I can't see him.
"For those who don't know," he says, "we're Vandyl. I'm Austin and I play lead guitar." Girls scream his name again. "The guy on the drums is Van." More girls scream, this time for Van. "And our lead singer and bass player is Dylan." More screams as they yell Dylan's name. "Ready boys?"
The guys start playing, which gets everyone yelling again. I still can't see the band but I can hear the music, specifically Austin's guitar. He's good, but I'm angry he didn't tell me who he was. There I was talking about the band and he never said a word. Was that all some type of game to make me look stupid for not knowing?
"Hey." Amber nudges me. "You all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"He's good, isn't he?"
"I guess."
She smiles and dances a little in her seat. The crowd of girls who've gathered in front of the band are also dancing, but they've moved back enough that I can finally see Austin. He's on the left, behind the singer. The lead singer is also hot, in more of a pretty boy way. Austin is more rugged, with cut features and an angular jar. The singer is tall, but not as tall as Austin. And definitely not as muscular. Austin must work out constantly to have a body like that. I check out the drummer next. He's about the same size as the lead singer but has dark, longish hair, and a long face. He too is hot, if you like that hippie artist look.
I glance over at Amber. She's leaned over toward Matt and the two of them are kissing. This is awkward. I'm definitely a third wheel. I glance back at the stage and see Austin looking right at me. There goes my heart again.
When he catches my eye, he smiles. He has a great smile. One of those sexy, alluring smiles that makes you want to smile back, which I do.
"Want another drink?" I hear Amber ask. "Matt's going back to the bar."
I quickly take my eyes off Austin and turn to Amber. "No, I'm good."
"You sure?" Matt asks, getting up from his chair.
"Yeah. One's enough."
He takes off for the bar.
Amber smiles at me. "So what do you think? Hot, isn't he?"
"Who? Matt?"
"No! Austin."
"Yeah, he's hot. But I'm still not going out with him. And besides, they're all hot. Maybe I'll go out with the lead singer instead."
She turns to check him out. Her body immediately straightens and her hand grips the edge of the table. "Oh my God."
"What?" I lean in so she can hear me. "What's wrong?"
"I know him."
"Know who?"
"The lead singer." She rushes the words out, sounding out of breath.
"Dylan?"
"Yes! When they said Dylan, I didn't know it was THAT Dylan!" She checks the bar, where Matt is standing. "We have to go."
"Go? Go where?"
"Anywhere. We just have to get out of here."
"Why?"
"Because Dylan's here!" she yells at me, as if I should know why it matters that Dylan is here.
"I don't get it. How do you know him?"
She glances at him, then back at me. "I slept with him."
"You what? When?"
"Last May. At a party."
"You never said you were dating anyone last May."
"We weren't dating."
"You had a one-night stand?" I ask, a little too loudly.
"Shh!" She checks that Matt is still at the bar. "I'll tell you about it later. For now, we have to get out of here." She shoves her chair back. "Unless you want to stay. I could come pick you up later."
"No. Let's go."
We meet up with Matt at the bar and Amber tells him she isn't feeling well and needs to go home. When we get to our apartment, she tells Matt she'll call him later when she's feeling better. I'm sure he knows something's up. She was fine and then she was sick? It doesn't make sense.
Once he's gone, I sit on the couch while she stands, nervously biting her lip.
"Since when do you have one-night stands?" I ask, because Amber always moves slow with a guy, or at least she used to. She used to say a guy has to take her out, get to know her, and treat her well before she'll even consider having sex with him.
"I don't."
"You just said you did."
"Yes, but it was just one time and I'll never do it again."
"Then why'd you do it?"
She sighs. "I was taking this speech class last spring, and this girl gave a speech about the psychology of fear and how the things you fear are often the things you really want to do. But you don't admit to it because you don't want the pressure of actually having to do it."
"Are you saying you secretly always wanted to have a one-night stand?"
"Yes. I mean, no, not really." She sits next to me. "It was more like, I've always had this fantasy of meeting a guy who I have instant chemistry with, and then just acting on my desires and doing it. You know, like in the movies, when people meet and instantly want to rip each other's clothes off? That pure, undeniable passion that can't be controlled?"
"And you had that with Dylan?"
"Yes." She closes her eyes, like she can still remember it. "I was at a house party just a few blocks from his campus. He came in the front door and I saw him across the room and our eyes locked, and it was like we just knew. He came over to me and asked my name. I could barely breathe my heart was beating so fast. That's how much I was attracted to him."
She just described how I felt when Austin approached me. Rapid heartbeat. Could barely breathe.
"And even though he's super hot," Amber continues, "it was more than his looks. It was something else drawing me to him. He felt it too. He was looking at me the same way I was looking at him. And he was breathing just as hard as I was. Then, out of the blue, he kissed me."
"After you just met him?"
"I know, it's crazy. I didn't even know his name and he kissed me. But just once, and then he backed away, like he shouldn't have done it, but he didn't apologize. And I didn't want him to. I wanted more. So I grabbed his shirt and yanked him toward me and kissed him back. And then it's like we both knew there was no going back. We had to finish this."
"So you knew nothing about the guy, but you still had sex with him."
"I know it wasn't the best decision, but I kept hearing that girl's speech in my head, telling me to do something different. Something completely out of my comfort zone. Something I always wanted to do but was too afraid to."
"And you didn't question it? Like not at all?"
"Of course I did! You know me. I'm always cautious when it comes to that stuff. That's why I'm dating Matt. He's the safe choice. Nice. Dependable. Predictable."
Boring
, I think, but I don't say it.
"Okay, so you kissed him and then what? You went in a room?"
"We went upstairs, not sure what was going to happen. That's when I started questioning it, more out of safety concerns than anything else. But there was something about this guy. I felt safe with him. I'm not even sure why. It was just a gut feeling. Anyway, we ended up finding an open room and then he asked if I really wanted to do what we were about to do. He had this torn look on his face, like he wanted to but felt like he shouldn't. It made me want to do it all the more. I told him yes and then neither one of us hesitated from that point forward. Clothes went flying, and then the magic happened."
I laugh. "Magic? Seriously?"
She holds my arm, her eyes on mine. "Total magic. I'm not kidding. It was absolute perfection. Hot. Frantic. Pure passion. I'd never experienced anything like it."
I laugh again. "So it was good?"
"Good?" She lets go of my arm and falls back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Good doesn't even begin to describe it. And unlike most guys, he didn't run off when we were done. In fact, he didn't want me to leave so we just stayed there in that room, and that's when he started to tell me more about himself but I told him I didn't want to know. That it was just a one-time thing and that I'd just graduated and was moving to New York the next day."
"You lied to him?"
"I had to. I didn't want him trying to date me."
"Why not?" I yank on her arm until she sits up. "You meet a guy you have instant chemistry with, you have amazing sex, and then you decide you never want to see him again?"
"Yes," she says simply.
I roll my eyes. "You make no sense. This is just like when we had that homemade ice cream at the fair and then you refused to eat it again. I still don't understand that."
"Because it's never as good as the first time. I explained this to you a million times. When you experience pure perfection, like that ice cream, or sex with Dylan, experiencing it again will just ruin it. The second time is never as good as the first, and it just gets worse from there."
I shake my head. "You're completely crazy."
"I'm not. You just haven't experienced what I'm talking about so you can't relate."
"Actually I can," I mutter. "And I'd do anything to experience it again."
"Kira." She frowns. "I'm sorry."
She knows I'm not talking about a guy, but about going to nationals. That was the best experience of my life. My scores weren't great, but just being there was perfection for me. I never thought I'd make it that far, so being there, competing alongside some of the greatest gymnasts in the world, was sheer perfection.
Amber has that sorrowful look on her face that she gets whenever this topic comes up, like she's mourning the death of my gymnastics career. But it's not dead. It's not ending.
I don't want to talk about it, so I steer the conversation back to her and Dylan. "So you lied and told Dylan you were moving away and that you'd never see him again."
"Yes, but he didn't accept that. He wanted to see me again, or at least talk on the phone, but I wouldn't give him my number. I wanted him to remain a mystery. It was more romantic that way."
"Romantic? Never talking to him again is romantic? That's the worst happy ending I've ever heard."
"You don't understand. That night WAS our happy ending. It's something we'll always remember. At least
I
will. Dylan probably forgot about it. I'm sure he has one-night stands all the time."
"Now that you know who he is, you really don't want to see him again?"
"No. It would ruin the memory. Did you see how many girls were up there screaming his name? I don't want to remember him that way, with other girls hanging all over him. I want to remember him with
me
. Just the two of us, and the night we spent together."
"You spent the whole night with him?"
"Most of it. We fell asleep, and just as the sun was coming up, I snuck out."
"You left without saying goodbye? That's kind of mean."
"It's not mean. It's every guy's dream. He got sex and never has to see me again."
"But it sounds like he really
wanted
to see you again."