Authors: Lindsay McKenna
"I saw this two-story white house with a green roof and a white picket fence around it, too." She laughed a little. "Actually, it was an exact replica of my folks' place. Every summer
Cam
and I would get out there and paint that picket fence. And we'd help dad on the roof when it needed new shingles. Mom would plant bright red geraniums, and I always thought it looked like Christmas in summer with the house's green trim and the red flowers.
"I guess I'm really pretty simple, Jim. I don't want much. I don't need much. I just needed a man who would love me and respect me for what I was—and what I wasn't. I wanted him to be as excited as I was about bringing a bunch of mop-haired children into the world, growing with them and loving them." She turned, gazing down at Jim's thoughtful expression. "Sometimes there's an ache in my heart when I remember those dreams," she admitted. "I'm old enough now to realize it won't happen that way."
Jim slowly sat up and faced Pepper. He slid his left hand over hers and held it gently. "Don't ever stop dreaming, sweetheart. They're good dreams.
Dreams that deserve to be lived out."
The tingling heat that spread from her hand up her arm set her heart pounding. Looking deep into Jim's darkened eyes, Pepper saw the desire burning there. His hand was at once strong and gentle as he held hers. Perhaps it was the roughened quality of his voice that tore at her the most, making her long for what she knew could never be hers.
Without thinking, she found herself leaning toward him. And almost simultaneously, she saw Jim coming forward to meet her. His grip on her hand tightened, her breath snagged as he bent his head and she drowned in his suddenly stormy green eyes. Her eyelashes swept downward. Never had Pepper wanted so badly to be kissed. Her lips parting, she raised her hand to his shoulder and tilted her chin just enough to meet his descending mouth.
Pepper's world spun dizzily as Jim's lips touched, met and claimed hers with a strength that threw her off guard. His mouth was molten, searching. With a small groan, she submitted to his quest, molding herself against him. She felt the prickle of his beard against her cheek and absorbed the plundering strength of his mouth as she was swept into a river of fire, no longer aware of anything but him—his masculinity, his power.
His mouth moved effortlessly across hers, seeking, tasting and deepening its exploration of her as a woman. She felt his ragged breath against her cheek, pressed herself to his broad chest, her hand sliding up and around his neck. She could feel his heart pounding as hard as hers was, and their breathing seemed to synchronize magically as she opened her mouth to his onslaught. The fragrance of the island flowers and their own natural scents enhanced the euphoria that flowed through her. She felt Jim release her hand, and in the next instant felt his palm against her cheek, tilting her head back even farther, tasting her deeply.
A knot of heat unfolded within Pepper, spreading through her lower body, crying for fulfillment. As Jim's fingers tunneled through the damp, curly hair at her temple, she felt tears of joy coming to her closed eyes. His mouth was at once cajoling and tender now as the overwhelming power of his kiss gentled, and she felt his tongue trace the outline of her lower lip, awakening an ache of pure longing. Never had she been kissed like this, and hungrily she absorbed the amazing sensations his touch evoked.
His hand moved away from her jaw, skimming the slenderness of her neck, sending prickles of fire racing through her. A softened moan was torn from her as his hand ranged farther, finding and cupping the round ripeness of her breast. Despite the rough utilities she wore, she felt his fingers caress her as through the finest silk. Her skin tightened to a painful intensity, and Pepper pressed herself shamelessly forward into his open hand. Her breathing became chaotic as his searching fingers slipped beneath the fabric. Her own fingers opening and closing spasmodically against his taut shoulders, she felt the delicious sensations as he grazed her breast, his thumb feathering across her hardened nipple and sending a keening need through her.
Pepper became lost in a host of plunging, deepening responses as she felt him shift her, bring her more fully into his arms, his hand tugging impatiently at her clothing, to open it more and expose her breasts. His mouth remained strongly on hers, taking even as she gave as never before with her breath, her body, her heart. Somewhere in her spinning senses, she realized this fire that burned so hotly out of control was more powerful and threatening than any forest fire she'd faced. The white-hot need consumed her as his hand fully captured her breast, his touch tentative, as if she were some priceless, fragile treasure. A treasure to cherish….
An overwhelming fear slammed into Pepper. What was she doing? Why was she allowing Jim to touch her, to take her? Her emotions
cartwheeled
as her reawakened mind screamed that he loved Laura, not her. Tearing her mouth from his, she pulled away. How desperately she wanted to stay in his arms, to continue accepting his caresses. She opened her eyes and looked up into his stormy,
slitted
ones, which now studied her with blazing passion. That stare made her freeze with the realization that his hunger equaled her own—only she was the one running away. What was she running from? Bitterly, Pepper admitted she knew the answer to that one. Every particle of her being screamed out for the feel of Jim's mouth on hers, for his hands roving across her, inciting her, teasing her, fulfilling her. Her gaze clung to his mouth—to that powerful male mouth that had made her lose all sense of time, direction and rational sense. Her world had narrowed to the breaths of air they'd shared, his mouth conquering hers, his hands scorching her, awakening her to a frenzied awareness of her needs as a woman. Never had Pepper felt like this. John's touches and kisses paled in comparison. Frightened by that knowledge, she simply stared at Jim in the drawn silence.
Shaken, Jim sat back, breathing hard. What the hell had he just done? Fear, curiosity and desire were mirrored in Pepper's widened, lustrous eyes as she stared at him, her lips glistening and well kissed. He raised his left hand and wiped his mouth with the back of it. How could he have allowed his desire for Pepper to overwhelm any rational thought? He'd nearly taken her. He'd come so close. The painful knotting sensation in his lower body cleared his mind. He had to think! They were on a dangerous mission. What business did he have putting them in jeopardy by kissing her, allowing his emotions to take over?
None.
Absolutely none.
But no one compared to Pepper, he admitted at the same time.
No one.
She'd met him on equal ground in a way that had been startling as well as gratifying. Her strength seemed to emanate from an endless well of femininity he'd never realized existed.
Unexpected tears slipped from beneath Pepper's lashes. Blinking, she continued to look dazedly up at him. His own eyes burned with a newfound tenderness as he lifted his hand, stopped its motion toward her,
then
hesitantly stroked her cheek with trembling fingers.
"Tears?" he rasped, as he touched their silvery path down her cheeks. Why was she crying? Had he hurt her in his overwhelming desire to take her?
With a choking sound, Pepper eased back and wiped them away. "It's nothing…." she answered in a hoarse whisper.
Jim looked at her intently. "Sure it is, sweetheart. What is it? What made you cry?"
Still dizzied by his branding kiss and the fire his touch had brought to a blaze within her, Pepper tried to look away from the desire she continued to read in his eyes. If only that desire were really for her. She certainly didn't hold any ill will for Laura. The woman probably didn't even realize Jim still carried a torch for her. Despite the passion in Jim's kiss, Pepper couldn't help but believe he'd kissed her in lieu of Laura. Her mind whirling with the tortured observations, Pepper finally tore her gaze from his. How could she tell him her tears were due to the realization that he could never love her—that his heart had already been captured?
She turned away. She had to lie, and she hated herself for it. The truth was she'd enjoyed their exploration of each other. "Don't mind me," she said, her voice strained. "I cry over everything. If you don't believe me, ask my team. I cry when someone gets hurt. I cry at weddings. I cry when babies are born. It's just me, Jim, that's all."
Jim frowned, feeling real frustration. Pepper had turned away, so he could barely see her face. She was embarrassed. Why?
Because he'd kissed her?
Cursing silently, he admitted that he'd overstepped his bounds.
And what a hell of a situation to be in.
He could still taste her on his lips. The kiss had been fusing, stirring the deepest parts of
himself
to such vibrant, throbbing life that he'd barely been in control of his actions.
Jim knew Pepper hadn't answered him honestly about her tears, but he didn't know what to do about it. This mission was all tangled up with Laura, and his heart told him to back off, to have patience and wait. In time, Pepper's reason for tears would be revealed. A part of him still wanted to take her here and now, knowing she was capable of loving him as hotly as he wanted to love her.
What was wrong with him? He'd lost his focus.
His reality.
With a shake of his head, he reminded himself that that was how powerfully Pepper influenced him by her simple, quiet presence. He would never forget the word pictures she'd painted for him of her dreams as a little girl. More than anything, he wanted to ask her about those children she'd dreamed of so vividly. What color was their hair? Were there any with green eyes like his own? Or black hair? The ache in his throat intensified, and he turned toward Pepper, wanting to speak.
The sad line of her mouth stopped him. She was sitting apart from him, her arms again wrapped tightly around her drawn-up knees. Her tears were gone, and Jim wondered what it had taken for her to jam them back inside. He hadn't realized how easily touched Pepper was until now, and it was an exquisite discovery.
"If we were home, back at my condo," he said, his voice rough with emotion as he caught her startled gaze, "you and I would have a long, heart-to-heart talk. Your tears aren't something to be ignored, Pepper. I care enough for you to want to know what brought them on…."
The inky night gave Pepper some relief. After Jim's hot, startling kiss, she had withdrawn deeply into herself. How was she going to manage to stay at arm's length from him? She'd done it with every other man since John had died. How had Jim so easily scaled her barriers? She was thoroughly confused. What did it
mean,
that he could kiss her like that? She still had no doubts that he loved Laura. She'd seen his eyes take on the darkness of worry as the daylight had waned. Of course, she was worried for Laura, too. She didn't wish for any woman to be in Garcia's clutches. But Jim's responses had once again grown cooler, more disconnected.
As she knelt in the jungle overlooking the fortress, the darkness complete, Pepper knew she had to shove her vibrant feelings toward Jim aside once and for all. The sadness she felt at the thought of never truly getting to know him brought tears to her eyes, but she fought them back. If they could reach Laura and release her, Pepper knew Jim would gravitate back to the woman without question. And whatever wonderful things had sprung up between him and Pepper on this mission would dissolve into the halls of his memory. But she was afraid she wouldn't so easily be able to relegate her recent emotions to the past tense, no matter what she did.
From where they knelt, their packs propped nearby so they'd be unhampered, Pepper and Jim timed the movements of the guards. Luckily, they were upwind of these men and the large, savage-looking Doberman pinschers that walked at their sides on long, thick leather leashes. The map of Garcia's plantation was firmly etched in Pepper's mind. In another few minutes, she would begin spreading the pheromone substance along the wrought-iron fence, away from the area where they wanted to breach it. Luckily the ten-foot barrier was just that. Garcia had put up an ornate fence, seemingly more for show than for actual protection, Pepper thought. There were no spikes or concertina wire, atop it, of the type that could easily cut an intruder to the bone.
Her eyes were well adjusted to the darkness, only vaguely brightened here and there by the quarter moon's light. It was perfect—enough light to work in, but not enough to give them away. Still, they'd reapplied their greasepaint to make sure no hint of pale skin might reflect the watery moonlight. As much as Pepper tried to ignore Jim's powerful presence, she couldn't. She felt his tension and tasted her own. Soon they would scale the fence, with only side arms and knives to protect them. Pepper shivered. She hoped she didn't have to use either one. Right now, her entire focus had to be on getting to the white plantation house with its dark red trim. The red-tile, Spanish-style roof gave it an odd look as far as Pepper was concerned, creating a sort of hybrid between Spanish and Southern-plantation design. Four huge white columns supported a wooden porch roof and every twenty minutes a heavyset guard with a Doberman passed by the south doors, where she and Jim planned to enter.