Truth stared at Macia, completely dumfounded by her change in disposition. Except for her disheveled hair, Macia looked and sounded normal. Her eyes were bright and her speech articulate, yet Truth remained apprehensive. She would approach Macia cautiously and see where their discussion might lead. “You seem to be feeling quite well today. Do you know what’s brought about this sudden improvement in your health?”
Macia cast a furtive look toward the door and motioned Truth closer. “I ceased taking the medication Mr. Laird brings to me each night. I pretend to take the pill but remove it from my mouth once he leaves the room. And I don’t drink any of the water or tea he gives me. He hasn’t yet discovered my trickery.”
“But what of the nightmares you mentioned? When did they occur?”
“The night I took my final medication. I’ve not taken it since. I suppose it was three nights ago. I was awake when Daisy brought your baggage and set up the cot, but I pretended to be asleep. I even watched you begin to unpack your clothing.”
Now assured that Macia was mindful of their situation, Truth explained the need for their escape. She outlined her tentative plan but also detailed the fact that her move from the carriage house had further complicated her ability to make any definite plans with Silas. “Unlike Janet and Inez, Silas and Daisy can both be trusted. I’ve promised Silas he can come with us to Kansas. You won’t mind if he comes along, will you?”
“Of course not. I trust your—” Before Macia could complete her sentence, the door burst open.
Mr. Laird’s jaw was twitching. “I
thought
I heard voices as I was passing.” His face contorted into an angry scowl as he looked at Truth. “I told you Macia needs her sleep if she’s going to return to good health, and already you’ve kept her awake with your nonsensical chatter. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Truth.” His voice carried an ominous tone, and she instinctively backed away.
“Do come and see me, Marvin. Please don’t be angry with Truth. I’m feeling weak, and I was asking her to go and locate you. She was fearful and seemingly thought she wasn’t permitted to leave the room. But I told her she must have misunderstood your directions. Surely she’s here to fetch help if needed, isn’t she?” She batted her lashes and held onto his hand.
Marvin patted her trembling hand. “Well, yes, of course.” He turned toward Truth. “If Macia has any medical need, you are to come and fetch me. Do not hesitate to leave the room for whatever she might need. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mr. Laird. So long as we both understand and remember what I’m permitted to do.”
Mr. Laird studied Macia’s face. “I’ll be back with your medicine shortly.” As he walked to the door, he stopped alongside Truth. “I’m possessed of a sharp mind, Miss Harban. I’ll not forget
anything
I’ve told you.”
Truth remained fixed until the door closed. She looked at Macia and held a finger to her pursed lips. “Let me help you back into bed, Miss Macia.” She crossed the room and leaned down near Macia’s ear. “He’s outside the door—likely watching through the keyhole.” She straightened the bedcovers and then helped Macia from her chair. “Now then, let’s get you into bed. Mr. Laird will soon be returning with your medicine.” They grinned at each other as they finally heard Mr. Laird’s footsteps retreating down the stairs.
Once Mr. Laird had given Macia her medicine and then departed again, Macia removed the pill from under her tongue. “I’m accumulating quite a collection.” She grinned and placed it in her silver hairpin box with the others. “Now, let’s pen that message to Silas.”
Worried Janet or Inez might return to their room or be listening outside the door, they kept their voices low as they worded the letter to Silas. They studied the train schedule and completed the missive only moments before Daisy arrived with Macia’s supper tray.
Truth relieved Daisy of the tray and then motioned her farther into the room. “Would you give this letter to Silas?” she whispered.
Daisy took the envelope and turned it over in her hand. She nodded and tucked it into her pocket. “Mr. Laird says afta Miss Macia’s finished wid her supper, you should bring the tray downstairs an’ eat in the kitchen. He says you’s to help me clean the kitchen.”
“Of course. I’ll be down to help you shortly.”
Daisy smiled and patted her apron pocket before leaving the room.
Truth waited patiently while Macia ate her supper. She would be glad for a change of scenery, even if it meant washing pots and pans or scrubbing the kitchen floor. She had already grown weary of sitting in Macia’s bedroom. When Macia finally wiped her mouth and placed the napkin on her plate, Truth jumped to her feet.
“I’ll be back when I’ve finished up in the kitchen. It may be late before I return.” She balanced the tray on her hip and reached for the doorknob.
“I’ll wait up for you,” she said quietly. “I have a book to read, and I’ll be anxious to know if Daisy has been able to accomplish her task.”
Truth nodded and hurried off to the kitchen. When she returned several hours later, Macia was asleep. Her book had fallen to the floor, and she was sprawled across the bed. Truth attempted to gently rouse Macia, but when that failed, she gingerly shook her shoulders—all to no avail. Truth’s heart thumped wildly, and her mouth felt as though she’d eaten a wad of cotton. She feared Macia was once again languishing in a medicated slumber.
Hill City , Kansas
J
arena sensed that Moses wanted to talk on their return journey to Hill City Sunday after church, but the last thing she wanted was a lengthy discussion. She hoped he would soon tire of her abrupt one-word answers and quit asking questions. Surely it was obvious she didn’t want to talk.
“Looks like a good spot to water the animal,” Moses said as they drew near to a small tributary of the river. “Close enough to noonday that we might as well have our lunch.”
Jarena begrudgingly agreed, although she didn’t want to stop. Moses would likely find the silence uncomfortable and ply her with questions. However, this was his horse and buggy, so she took his hand and stepped down after they came to a halt near the water’s edge. Moses handed her the basket, and she spread a tablecloth and laid out the food while he tended to the horse.
He soon strode up from the water’s edge and joined her under the clump of trees. “Truly is a fine day, don’t you think?”
She offered him a piece of chicken. “It’ll do.”
“It’ll do?” He dropped to a sitting position. “Why, this is a glorious day, Jarena. The birds are singing and there’s a fine breeze—even the sun isn’t too hot, and that’s quite an accomplishment in the month of August.”
She could feel her face tighten with irritation. Couldn’t he understand she didn’t want to talk, that she wanted to spend this time contemplating her future?
Moses bit into a chicken leg and waited.When she didn’t comment further, he wiped his mouth. “I know you’re angry, Jarena.”
“Pappy told you about Lilly?”
“Yes. And whether you want to believe it or not, your father is hurting, too.”
“I’m not concerned about him. Isn’t it enough that I must deal with Lilly being my mother? Now I must also face the fact that Thomas may be dead—it’s more than I should have to bear.”
Moses finished the piece of chicken and licked his fingers. “Why?”
She glared at him. “What do you mean,
why
?”
“Just that—why do you believe you’re entitled to go through life without pain or suffering?”
“That’s not what I believe. But I’ve already had my share of suffering and bad experiences. Many more than either Truth or Grace has had.”
“Ah. So you’re comparing yourself to others, and that’s how you’ve come to such a conclusion.”
“I truly don’t care to discuss this with you. There’s absolutely no way you can imagine the pain I’ve experienced over the past few days.”
“No need to talk—you can just sit there and listen.” He leaned back against the broad trunk of a cottonwood, and while the horse continued to drink its fill, Moses told her of his past. But this was not the minimal account that he’d given to Aunt Lilly when she had arrived in Nicodemus. Instead, he detailed the complicated story of his childhood.
Although Jarena had set out to ignore him, she was soon captivated by his words. He explained how his mother, a freed slave, had been captured by slave runners and then sold back into slavery and how the man whom he considered his father had left him behind and had gone off in search of his mother—with neither of them ever being heard from again. Then he told her of another slave couple who came from a southern plantation and raised him—the ones whom he continued to regard as his parents.
Moses took a molasses cookie from the basket and broke off a piece. “And don’t forget that my blood father was the same white man who had sired my mother. In truth, he was both my father and my grandfather.” He leaned back and ate the cookie, staring off toward the water. “Now here’s the most important part, Jarena: I wouldn’t change one thing in my life. There’s been pain and sorrow, but I know that God was always in control.”
Jarena gathered up the remnants of food and packed them into the basket. “That’s easy enough said, now that it’s all behind you.”
Moses picked up the cloth they’d been sitting on and laughed. “You’re right—it’s behind me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I lived through it, Jarena. And it was trust in God that carried me through. My life has been far more wondrous than I could ever have imagined as a young boy. All because I trusted God. However, it seems that you’re not happy unless
you’re
in control.”
Where had she heard that before? Her father? Miss Hattie? But this was different. This wasn’t about controlling anything or anyone. This was about being deceived. It seemed no one was interested in viewing things from
her
perspective.
“So you’re telling me that God is in control of your life and it matters little to you that Truth is off having a good time in New York rather than coming home to plan her wedding?”
He placed the basket inside the buggy. “That’s not at all what I said. It matters a great deal that Truth is in New York; it matters a great deal that I never saw my parents again—but I’m not in control of either situation. My anger or worry changes nothing—nor does yours.”
“Don’t you see? I feel as though I have no one. I don’t truly belong anywhere.”
“I disagree, but you must finally come to that realization on your own, Jarena.”
When they finally arrived in Hill City, Moses helped her down from the carriage. “Thank you for taking me to see . . .” She hesitated and bit her lower lip.
“Your family? They are still your family, Jarena. Nothing will change that except you. Unless you continue to push them away, your father and sisters will feel no differently toward you than they ever have. In truth, I can’t understand why you would do such a thing to people who have done nothing but love you.” Moses strode back around the wagon and departed without another word.
Jarena ran up the Boyles’ porch steps and into the kitchen, thankful that she found no one about. She started emptying the basket onto the counter, annoyed by Moses and his platitudes. “Nothing will change my family except me! Ha! As though I had anything to do with this entire matter.” She yanked the tablecloth from the basket and tossed it onto the pile of dirty linens she’d be washing come morning—laundry that Truth should be washing and pressing. Instead, Truth would likely be sauntering up and down the streets of New York, admiring pretty dresses in the shop windows. How like Truth—always avoiding work. She stacked the basket atop several others in the pantry and headed toward the back stairway. Perhaps she could avoid seeing anyone for a while longer.
Laughter rippled from Lilly’s bedroom as Jarena reached the top of the stairs. The mirthful sounds of happiness annoyed her. Why should others be amused while she bore such misery? Especially Lilly, the cause of all her pain.
Dr. Boyle stepped into the hallway. “Jarena! Do come in and see how well your aunt is progressing. She has experienced a miraculous recovery over the past twenty-four hours.” He waved her toward the bedroom door. “I didn’t realize you had returned.”
She hesitated. “Yes. A short time ago. I’ll stop in the room a bit later. I’m quite weary from the journey home.”
Dr. Boyle drew closer. “Oh, do come in just for a minute. I want you to see how well our patient is faring.”
Lilly was sitting up in bed, her eyes sparkling and her lips bearing a faint hint of color. She wore a lacy bed jacket and, from all appearances, was as fit as a fiddle. The sight only served to further irritate Jarena. It seemed as if God’s blessings were being showered upon everyone but her—even decadent Aunt Lilly.
“You look tired, Jarena.”
The woman’s words were like fingernails on a chalkboard, yet Jarena instinctively smoothed her wrinkled skirt. “Well,
I
haven’t been lying abed.”
Lilly folded her hands in a prayerful pose. “And a bit out of sorts, also.”
Dr. Boyle pointed to the chair near Lilly’s bedside. “Do sit down, Jarena. I’m certain your aunt would enjoy hearing of your visit to Nico-demus. In fact, why don’t I leave you two alone to visit, and I’ll look in on my wife.” Before either of them could answer, he hastened from the room.
Jarena waited only until she heard Dr. Boyle greet his wife before rising from the chair. “I believe I’ll retire to my room, also. As you said, I am a bit out of sorts.”
“Oh, do sit down, Jarena. Nothing is ever resolved by running away.”
Jarena’s derisive laugh echoed off the far wall. “You’ve been running from the truth all your life,
Mother
. Besides, we have nothing to resolve.”
Lilly took Jarena by the hand. “Jennie was your mother. I was merely the vessel that gave birth to you. Seems you can talk about forgiveness, but you don’t really believe in the concept. Oh, you speak about God’s forgiveness, but what about yours? Aren’t you supposed to exhibit that same Christlike characteristic? Isn’t that what being a Christian is all about? Not just speaking the truth of God’s Word but living it?”