Most Talkative: Stories From the Front Lines of Pop Culture (32 page)

Danielle, what did you think when you heard Teresa say that Steve was just interested in you for blow jobs?

Alexis, do you think God approves of your plastic surgery? You’ve taken what he did and changed it.

Adrienne, I know you are too humble to reveal your net worth, but Lisa, how much do you think Adrienne is worth?

Teresa, you said that you formerly had big hair—do you consider what’s going on now not big?

Taylor, would you ever consider having your lip implant removed?

Gretchen, he was dating Jo, he’s been with Laurie—is there something in you that feels at all weird about getting sloppy thirds?

Cat, do you feel uncomfortable around black people?

Lisa, do you have any poor friends?

Sheree, do you think you’ve gone too far with toning your arms?

Teresa, you said that your husband is more of an ass man. After you got your new bubbies, did he change his opinion?

Tamra, you’re going to sell your implants on eBay?

NeNe, Angela from Great Neck, New York, wants to know why would you, at your age, wear clothes that show your old gals sagging?

Danielle, your ex-husband says you were married to a big Colombian cocaine dealer, were a paid escort, were a raging nymphomaniac, had a bob job, had an eyebrow lift, and are a pathological liar. Comments?

Each woman brings a different MO to the tapings. Besides Pinot Grigio, Ramona requires a very clear idea of the day’s schedule—when breaks and lunch are. Vicki winks at me throughout the taping, no matter whether someone else is talking about something funny or serious. (And I do love a wink.) Kim Zolciak is constantly trying to take away my blue cards full of prying questions—“Give me those evil blue cards!” Alexis from
Orange County
had a wonderfully absurd evidence-presenting moment: After a revelation that fellow Housewife (and soon-to-be-former-best-friend) Peggy had dated her husband years earlier, Alexis piped up just minutes later with her phone triumphantly in hand, announcing that Jim had just texted her to reveal that Peggy had been a stalker. I love that she thought that would settle it!