Motherlove (37 page)

‘Terry here. That you, Gill? What's up? Something wrong?'

‘Terry, they've got a baby for us.'

Silence. Oh God. Terror gripped her. Why was he silent? Did he no longer want a child? Was this the final twist of fate?

‘I'm coming home,' he said, indistinctly.

He was coming home. Home. From now on it was going to be a real home. A home with parents and a child. She had been right to decorate the little room, to buy the cot, the teddy bear, the mobiles, the pretty curtains. She hadn't been mad. She had known, deep down, this was it.

All her prayers answered.

Joan was standing in the living room doorway, fag in hand as usual. ‘Just remember whose house this is,' she said. ‘Don't except me to babysit. I'm not holding some snivelling brat while you two go off and enjoy yourself.'

Gillian laughed. Blissful release. Chains falling off her. ‘Don't worry, Mum. I'll take care of my own baby. It's the only thing I want to do. I promise you'll never have to babysit.'

CHAPTER 11

i

Kelly

‘Hello.'

Kelly hesitated. She'd answered the phone and now she wasn't sure she should have. She couldn't take any more buffeting. But she wasn't one to walk away. ‘Ben. Hello.'

He was hesitating too. He needed to think what to say. ‘I'm so sorry. All the things I did and said, I'm sorry. I can't believe I just let you go like that.'

What was that, fluttering inside her? Hope? For a fleeting second she felt like the old Kelly, ever optimistic and generous. ‘You were upset.'

‘That was no excuse. I was stunned, yes, but – how must you feel? You came back to us, and we drove you away.'

‘I did spring it on you out of the blue.'

‘It was a lot to take in. I wanted to tell you I've taken it in now. I've talked about it with Mum. She's – you do understand, don't you? It was so much to hit her with, the way we did. She just needed time. She's getting there. And I've told Dad. He's – look, I know it's a lot to ask, after the way we treated you, but can you come back to Lyford? Meet us again?'

Not so long ago she would have jumped in the car then and there. Fools rush in… She was beginning to develop an angel's fear of treading unwisely. But she had started all this, she would have to finish it. ‘Yes, all right. When?'

‘Whenever you like. I'm going to take some time off work. I'm with Mum. Trying to repair things.'

‘That's good!' The flutter again. He was still her Ben. ‘I am glad. I'll come tomorrow if you like.'

‘Thank you! Could we meet—?' He paused.

‘In the park?'

‘Yes. Would you mind?'

‘No. I don't mind. I'll see you there.'

Roz was leaning on the gate, looking at the sheep.

‘I've got to go back to Lyford,' said Kelly. ‘I've got to see them again.'

‘Yes. Of course you do.' Roz's fingers closed on the gate, her arms bracing with determination. ‘When are you going?'

‘Tomorrow.'

Roz nodded. ‘Will you take me with you?'

‘To Lyford! Why? You can't undo any of it, you know.'

‘I know. But I keep thinking about her, them, all of them. That family. That girl, the baby I abandoned.'

‘You can't go and see Victoria.'

‘I didn't realise how much I hurt her. She was so angry. The baby I gave up.'

‘You gave her up because you thought, in your muddled way, it was for the best. Yes, she is angry, but it's not for you to try and put things right. It wouldn't work. You gave her up then, you have to give her up this time too. She knows where you are. If she wants to make contact again, she'll come to you. You can't ask anything of her.'

Roz smiled bleakly. ‘You can't be my daughter, can you? Far too wise. No, I won't force myself on her. But I need to go to Lyford. Please take me. I'm going to go to the police.'

‘Don't be crazy. What good would that do after all these years?'

‘Everyone thought she'd killed you, didn't they? Heather Norris.'

‘She was never charged.'

‘Just suspected. All these years. At least I can set the record straight.'

‘And be taken to court?' Was there a statute of limitations on child abduction? Kelly had no idea. ‘You want to go to prison?'

‘I should, shouldn't I? I did all this. I did so many bad things. I ought to pay in the end.'

‘Look. I'm not going to excuse everything you did, but you were a child, trying to survive. Who's it going to help if you go to prison?'

‘It will clear her name.' Roz smiled. ‘Please Kelly. I'm going to do this. It would be easier if I came with you now.'

‘You realise if they see you, they'll probably lynch you.'

‘I wouldn't blame them.'

Kelly looked at her. The final step of growing up, for both of them maybe. ‘All right. I'll speak sweetly to Joe, see if he'll chicken-sit again.'

‘I never intended to hurt anyone, you know. Least of all you, Kelly. And you've been hurt so much, haven't you?'

‘I'll get by. Not sure how, but I will.'

It was dry at least, sun glinting through occasionally, a bit of a breeze fluttering the leaves. Sunday and the park was busy. Not as busy as it might have been on a Sunday fifty years earlier, but not the ghost park it was on weekdays.

‘I remember it,' said Roz. ‘There was crazy golf over there. And the boat-yard. That's still there.' Children were out in paddle boats, and one cocky teenager was trying to look cool in a canoe. Her eyes moved round, across the lake, following the line of the fence.

Kelly was ahead of her. She had already seen the woman and the young man.

Roz said, ‘Is that them?'

‘Yes.'

Roz squared her shoulders.

‘No.' Kelly put a hand on her arm. ‘Don't come now. Let me see them first. I don't know how things are going to work out this time, but let's take it one step at a time. Me first.'

‘Yes, of course.'

She left Roz by a willow tree, and walked round the lake. She didn't have hopes or expectations any more. She just wanted to get it over with.

Heather watched her approach, scarcely breathing. How had she not realised before? Take away the green streak in Kelly's shaggy hair, the nose stud, the tattoo, and anyone could see she was Ben's sister.

He was standing back, nervous, hurting, saying nothing.

Heather took a step forward as Kelly came up to them. She forced herself to reach out, touch her cheek. Experimental. The girl might just dissolve, like all the girls in her dreams. ‘Abigail.'

‘Yes. I was Abigail.'

Heather nodded. Closed her eyes. Took a deep breath. ‘Yes, you are.'

Kelly forced a laugh that was anything but humour. ‘Well. Hello.'

Heather tried a smile. ‘You look like a gypsy.'

‘I am a bit of a gypsy, I suppose.'

Ben came forward at last. ‘A farmer, aren't you, Abigail. Sheep and chickens and goats called Eleanor and Rigby.' Proving he remembered every word.

‘It sounds like fun,' said Heather, her voice half strangled.

‘Pretty much fun,' agreed Kelly. ‘At least when the weather's good.' Was this it? No fireworks of denial this time, but then no fireworks of any description. A mother and daughter separated for twenty-two years and they had nothing to say. Impulsively, she took Heather's hand. She should try to relate to this hurt woman. She couldn't yet, but perhaps they could make it happen.

Heather looked at Kelly's hand in hers, then gripped the girl's shoulders. Forced back the sobs that were clawing at her.

Ben put his arm round his mother and smiled at Kelly, a smile of pure relief. ‘Thank you. I wouldn't have blamed you for refusing ever to speak to us again.'

‘I'd never refuse to speak to you, Ben.'

‘No.' He looked down.

‘Is this her?' Another man's voice, abrupt. Kelly looked round. A middle-aged man, overweight, thinning hair, was striding down on them with a newspaper under his arm. ‘You're telling me this is Abigail?' He said it as an accusation.

‘Yes, Dad.'

Martin Norris looked Kelly up and down. She guessed she was not quite what he wanted to see. ‘Hello,' she said.

‘What proof do we have?'

‘Dad!'

‘No, no, some girl appears out of nowhere, and asks us to believe that she's the daughter we lost as a baby? You expect me to believe that without evidence?'

Heather turned to her former husband. ‘She is our daughter, Martin.'

‘Oh yes, of course you'll want to claim any girl that throws herself in our way, Heather. Anything to get you off the hook, prove you the martyr, but I'm not falling for every junky con artist that tries it on. A genetic test will prove it. Are you willing to be tested?'

Kelly looked at him, confronting his anger. Why should she help this man out? ‘No.'

‘No? In that case, I would say point proven. Because there's no earthly reason why I should believe you. If you refuse to take the test—'

‘I refuse, because I'm not here to prove anything to you. I am your daughter, and if you don't like it, or you're not convinced, then that's your problem, not mine. I came because Ben asked me to come. If you don't want to acknowledge me, that's fine by me.'

‘She is our daughter,' repeated Heather.

‘She's Abigail,' confirmed Ben. ‘She's told me exactly what happened.'

‘Anyone could make up a story. It doesn't make it true.'

‘It is true,' said Roz.

Kelly span round.

Roz was coming along the path towards them. ‘It is true. I took the baby, from her pram by the bushes. I took her.'

‘You!' Martin's suspicions of Kelly turned to outright spluttering fury at Roz. His face deepened to dark red. ‘You come here, after twenty-two years, and coolly announce that you stole our child!'

‘I took her,' repeated Roz.

‘Right! Hold her! I'm calling the police. I want that woman locked up!' He was groping for his mobile.

‘Stop it,' said Ben, a hand on his father's arm. ‘Calm down.' But the sight of Roz made him too angry to say more. Angry and desperately trying to contain it.

‘Damned if I'm going to stop it. I want her prosecuted. I want her punished!' Martin stepped up to Roz, hand out to stop her escaping. ‘You know what you did? To us? Why? Why did you think you could destroy our lives for your amusement? Eh? Tell me that!'

‘I can't,' said Roz. ‘I wanted my baby back. I thought she was my baby. Or I wanted to think she was my baby.'

‘Tell that to the police, and see how they like it! You're dying, that right? I hope so, because it means you'll die in prison, where you belong.'

‘Leave her alone!' Kelly stepped between them. ‘She's not dying, but she is ill. She's going to the police anyway.'

‘You defend her? She stole you!'

‘She loved me.'

‘Love!' Martin, trembling, was guided back by his son. Ben could not look at Roz, but he was trying to keep it together.

Martin jerked free, raising his finger to jab in Roz's face. ‘You dare to say you loved her! You're not fit—!'

‘Martin,' said Heather. A quiet authoritative voice.

He turned towards her, resentful of being diverted.

‘I know what all this fire and fury is about. You feel guilty, don't you? Guilty that you never believed me. So guilty, you won't even accept your own daughter now she's come back.'

‘I didn't say that. But how can she be my daughter if she defends that woman!'

Heather took a deep breath, then took a step towards Roz, forcing herself to look at her. ‘You looked after her?'

‘I tried,' said Roz.

‘You made her happy?'

‘Yes,' said Kelly.

‘Thank you,' said Heather.

‘Thank you?' repeated Martin.

‘I don't thank her for taking Abigail, or for putting us through so much misery. No, I'll never forgive her for that. But I can thank her for keeping my baby alive and well and happy. I thought whoever took her might have killed her. I thought I might have killed her.' Heather looked at her hands, as she had in secret so many times over the years, expecting spots of blood. ‘Everyone told me I had. I began to believe it myself.'

Her voice broke. ‘Someone just tell me. Can I stop being mad now?'

‘Yes!' said Ben and Kelly together, seizing her hands.