Motown Breakdown (Motown Down #4) (9 page)

Having a choice at all was new to me, thrilling, undeniable. No one outside of my world could possibly understand the rules we live by, but I wasn’t stupid. I spent hours watching chick flicks and reading enough romance novels to know a good man takes care of his woman. That in return, she takes care of him too. Shade was raised in my world; he didn’t waste time on romance. He didn’t have to. Not when he was high enough in rank to see what he wanted and take it. I belonged to him and like Marco with the beatings, Shade took what was his by right. So no, I didn’t expect any different from my fiancé but I won’t lie and say I didn’t hope for it.

I wanted to know how unforced desire felt. I would never be his Evie no more than he would ever be my Shade. But he was the first man
I
ever wanted, this moment was
my
choice and I was taking it. Freedom came in many forms and if he was offering sexual freedom, I was taking it.

“Mama,” he says reaching out for me. “I can feel how much you need me.”

Taking the small step forward put me directly in front of him. Whether he drank whisky in place of water or wore some strong cologne I’d never heard of, I knew after this I’d never forget his scent. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I watch his hands lift the edges of his t-shirt through different eyes. This wasn’t happening to me; beautiful things never did. With Crews raising it up over my head, careful of my side, I watch the fabric fall to the floor.

“Mama,” he says spanning my waist with his thick fingers. “Do you want me?”

“Yes,” for once I told the truth.

I’ve had my nipples sucked, knew what to expect even. But when
he
did it my knees buckled. Because, he did it…gently. There was no bite of pain, the intake of breath was due to pleasure and surprise. So when I cradled his head it wasn’t because he expected me to, it was because I wanted him closer to me. His hair was thick, it needed washing but I didn’t care. His beard was softer than it looked too. I’d never touched a beard before and it was, I decided, very male. Resting my cheek on the top of his head, his mouth leaves my tits while his hands brush over my skin. Taking my own hands, I stroke his big arms. They had hair, thick and unruly. He motioned me to remove his shirt, so I did, eagerly. Then I explored his back, which was broad and strong. Without notice, he stands backing me into the couch and I don’t feel small, I felt equal. His stomach stood out, it also had hair but it was as solid as I expected it to be. I’d never seen this much hair on a man, I liked it on him. I liked everything about him. Starting at his chest, I run my fingers through it, teasing it. When I made it to his middle, I did the same but I wanted to leave proof I’d been here. Scoring him with my nails he sucks in a breath before whispering, “Easy, mama.”

Looking up at him for guidance, he nips my bottom lip like he was asking to kiss me. Standing on my tip toes, I go for his mouth while my hands go for his face. I would never forget what this sounded like. The heavy breathing, the suction of our lips or, his moan when I fed him my tongue. Any second now I’d be thrown to my back and fucked, I knew that’s how it worked but I wanted to do
this
forever. I wanted to
play
. When he broke away, I figured that was my cue to stretch out on the couch but he stopped me. “What’s your hurry?” he asks pulling me back up.

“Isn’t this where you want me?”

“I liked you where you were.”

That made me very happy. “Can we keep playing?” I whisper.

“Yeah, mama,” he says unzipping his jeans. “We can keep playing.”

And we did. Crews let me touch him all over. I avoided his dick because I was saving it for last. When he slid his hand between my legs, my knees buckled
again
. “I like that I can bring you to your knees,” he chuckles in satisfaction.

“You have no idea,” I mumble watching him tease me.

“Are you ready?” he asks securing the back of my neck.

“Yes,” I smile genuinely.

“Good.” Then scooping me up, he carries me into my bedroom and with me attached to him he ripped the bedding off taking Shade’s memory with it. “Now,” he says lowering me down on the bare mattress. “You’re ready.”

Feeling like a whore because I had my fiancé here recently, I do what comes natural and curl up. This wasn’t fair to him; it was a shit thing to do. I wish I was above hiding but I wasn’t. He had a right to know who he was about to fuck and I was too ashamed to tell him.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble. But he says nothing, he doesn’t even move.

“Eyes to me, mama.” Looking up, I wondered if he could see how used up I was. No way was I telling him that I had a reason for asking Shade to stay. That I pretended my fiancé was him because who even does that?

“I know I can’t keep you,” he says sitting next to me. “Even knowing you belong to someone else, I want you. If you loved him, you wouldn’t be here with me. If you loved him, you wouldn’t be in this apartment either. Because,” he whispers leaning in. “If you loved him, war or not, you wouldn’t want to be apart from him.”

Holy-fucking-shit, nothing got past Crews.

“Tell me to leave and I’ll go,” he continues. But it was when he ran his finger over the bruise on my face that something broke apart inside of me. Crews was…taking care of me. “But fuck me, mama I don’t wanna go.”

“Please,” I whimper clutching his wrist. “Don’t go.”

With a small smile, he spread himself out next to me and just stared. In completely uncharted territory I let him. Whatever happened next was up to him because I was fucking clueless.

Luna was lost.

It broke my fucking heart to see just how far gone she was. All I could do was stare at her. For a woman who survived in a violent world, it was never more clear to me just how much she didn’t belong in it. She deserved a brick home with a white picket fence and some kids. She sure as fuck deserved a husband she loved, that loved her back.

Shade would destroy her; he was half way there already.

Even knowing he’d been here, right where I was next to her, I still wanted this. I’m not on Shade’s level in any way. Yeah, I work hard but so what. Working hard never scored me a woman like Luna. Who looked at me like I was worthy to touch her, take care of her. Fuck, but when she looked at my body it turned her on. The automatic response to suck my gut in, stick my chest out and hide my flaws was absent.

Swear to Christ, she liked what she saw but she had no idea what to do about it. Luna was waiting for me to nail her and bolt, it was written all over her face. She was ashamed to have been with Shade, that much was clear too. She didn’t love the guy, no fucking chance. Because if Luna loved someone she’d love them fully, giving him her whole self. If I only had one night with her, I wanted her to know we weren’t all like him. Some of us wanted the kind of love she was searching for too.

“Crews? What are you doing?”

“Just looking, mama,” I tell her tracing her face. “Just looking.”

“I like it,” she says running her hand up my chest. “When you look, I mean. I like it.”

“I like when you look too,” I promise her.

“Good,” she smiles leaning up to kiss me. “I wish I could look at you forev---.”

“Relax,” I whisper to her lips. “It’s just us, mama.”

“Can I ask you something?” nodding she works up the nerve before asking, “Why are you going so slow? I don’t know slow, Crews. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do unless, you tell me.”

“Jesus,” I groan. I really hated that piece of shit for doing this to her. “Slow is good, mama. No way am I rushing this, I want to take my time with you.”

“But
why
?” she pleads.

“You,” I grunt carefully pulling her on top of me. “Are the sweetest piece I’ve ever seen. I want you to remember it was good with me.” God dammit if she started crying, I would find Shade and kill him myself.

“Thank you,” she says quietly biting her lip.

“You wanna ride me, mama?”

Nodding her head vigorously, I put my hands behind my head and smile. “Touch yourself for me first,” I prompt her. “Then you can ride me.”

“Really?” she asks like she just hit the fucking lottery.

“Yeah really. Start now.”

Smiling in sheer joy, she parts herself and oh fuck, she follows instruction really well. When she said it, I wasn’t sure but seeing it? My God what a power trip. She would literally do whatever I told her to do, only I wouldn’t control her like that. “Beautiful,” I encourage her. “Never seen nothing like it.” That was true, I haven’t and never would again. When she started to grind on my lap, I raise my legs up to bring her forward. “Feel good?”

Biting her lip, she moans, “Mhmm.”

“Ride it out,” I encourage her. “However you want.”

“Can I do something first?” she asks removing her hands.

“You don’t have to ask.”

Sliding down between my knees, she inspects my cock and says, “It’s big, Crews.”

“It’s alright,” I mumble.

“Uh no,” she says wrapping a fist around it. “It’s big.” Fuck, I could come like this. “I like big.” Then she opened her pretty mouth and pounced. Let it be said, Luna could suck a cock.

“Mama,” I groan unable to take it. “Ride me before I come.” With a final pull, she releases me then cat crawls up to face me. Kissing me deep, I situate her back on my lap and move into position. When she worked herself onto me my fucking eyes crossed she was so tight. I wasn’t going to last like this, I wasn’t that guy. Shit, I haven’t been
that
guy in years. Riding me hard, she slows to a grind and I had to grab her hips to stop her. “Don’t wanna blow yet,” I tell her.
“Come here, beautiful.” Moving up to my chest, her tits felt fantastic against my skin. One night wasn’t going to be enough, not of her. Rolling her on her back, gently I spread her legs apart.  The look on her face when I slowly slid inside of her was one I’d never forget. Luna was no longer lost because, I’d found her.

This wasn’t fucking. This wasn’t even sex.

I didn’t know what this was but, it was the most amazing thing that’s
ever
happened to me. Crews didn’t make demands, he included me. God, the way he looked at me, touched me and responded to me. I could kiss him for hours, suck him for days and look at him for a lifetime.

“Does your side hurt?” he asks once he’s fully seated inside of me.

“No,” I moan. Side what side?

“Good,” he praises pulling out some then adding more weight. “Put your hands above your head for me,” he asks not demands this. Raising them up, he binds my wrists in his hand applying light pressure. “I’m not gonna last, mama, how do you want it?”

“Huh?”

“Soft, hard, fast, slow? Tell me.”

Thinking on it, I came up with, “Hard and slow.” It seemed like a good combo.

Doing as I asked, he set his pace and I couldn’t stop moaning or begging if my life depended on it. I felt so much, he was everywhere, I wanted to scream with it. Then I felt the slow burn and I knew it was going to happen for real. No faking it, I was really going to… “I’m coming,” I cry out. “Oh God oh God oh God!”