Motown Takedown (Motown Down Book 3) (14 page)

“You want what belongs to me?
”
he slurs while the wall holds him up. “What’s it like to want something that will never be yours, Monarch?”

“She’s mine, Savage,
”
I remind him. “It’s all about timing.”

“You’re right about that,
”
he says sliding down the wall straight to the floor. “It’s all about the timing. I think it’s about time I get her pregnant don’t you think?”

Grinding my jaw to keep quiet, even drunk he knows he hit true. “Don’t like that, do you?
”
he laughs. “I’m not done with her yet, might never be done. Maybe I’ll ruin her so good you won’t want her anymore. Maybe I already have.”

Turning to leave, he reminds me of the same shit he always reminds me of. That God damn deal. “Anything happens to me on your order;she dies. Remember that, boy.
”

As soon as we hit the garage, Ransom was there but he wasn’t there to calm me down, the traitor decided to take up for Cinn, who was quiet on my order. Knowing her she was plotting, biding her time and not threatened by me in the least. She was too fearless for her own good. She was also about to learn a valuable lesson about fear, and it’s that she needs to learn some.

Stalking over to her side of the truck, I open her door and start to help her out when she says, “I’ve got it,
”
with more attitude than I could fucking handle. Ready to explode, he sees it and gets nosy.

“Boss,
”
he says coming up next to me. “Maybe you should…”

“Take her to the office,
”
I tell him slamming the door once she was safely clear of it. “Do it.”

“You’re going about this all wrong,
”
he says moving to stand in front of her as if I posed a physical threat to my own fucking woman.

“I’ll take her myself,
”
I say pushing him out of the way and grabbing her. She didn’t resist which was smart. Cinn giving Ransom a smile in passing set me off too which was not smart.

Clearing the hall, storming into the office I kick the door closed and round on her. “Never again do you put us in a position of weakness,
”
I warn her. “Savage let you run shit your way. That does not ring true here. Here, we do shit
my
way do you understand me?
”

“No,
”
she says sticking her chin out. “I don’t.”

“Allow me to explain,
”
I say slowly approaching her. Pinning her to the wall, I get in her face and go off. “They are the enemy, Cinn. Every last one of them are
our
enemy. You ever fucking put yourself in a position to be taken down again I will cut you fucking loose. You say you value our lives, but that shit proves you’re fucking stupid. I know who they are, I know what they fuck they do after hours too. They help you now to cut you off at the knees later! You put your own ass on the line for no good Goddamn reason. You put
our
fucking lives in danger, for what? That piece of shit Demo? He’s nothing in our world! You stood there in front of our enemy and said my man can’t handle his own fucking business. I can’t get over that. Get the fuck out of my sight, Cinn.
”
Blinking at me like not a fucking thing I said registered, I scream in her face, “Get the fuck out of my sight!
”
before punching the wall next to her head. Bringing her hands up to protect herself, she steps away and runs for the door. Before she can clear it, I give her another order she
will
follow. “You smile for
me
,
”
I warn her. “Test me, smile at Ransom or any other motherfucker again and they die at
your
feet.”

Sliding through the door, I watch her run full out cutting around Ransom when he tries stopping her. Crossing my arms over my chest as he approaches, it was time he and I had ourselves an understanding too.

“You and me going to have a problem, Ransom?”

“The next time you want to destroy something fragile, do me a favor and turn the mic off,
”
he says stepping to me. “I don’t need to hear that shit; no one needs to hear that shit especially my queen.”

“Would you like to rephrase that?”

“No boss, I really wouldn’t,
”
he says getting up in my face. “It’s no secret she has a reputation, she should. She fucking earned it. That’s who all this was for right? Our queen? The one you wanted by your side. The one you’ve spent years killing for while she was holed up in that fortress slowly dying? What she showed you today was huge,
”
he growls. “What she did for us by showing them her allegiance to you will save your ass someday. I’ll admit, I didn’t find it a good idea at first, but she’s made them allies for us too. We will need those fucking allies. Since you like making enemies everywhere you go, do us all a favor and don’t make any inside these walls. We got enough problems.”

“I see,
”
I say staring him down.

“You don’t see shit,
”
he says. “You’re obsessed. You see only her and while I understand it at least she sees the bigger picture! You don’t get to pick and choose what roles she plays, Monarch. She played it out with a fucking monster, strategized and set herself up to be in a better position. To be here with
you
.”

“We’re done,
”
I tell him. “I want intel on every player at Lush.”

“She just fucking showed you!
”
he yells. “They are not the enemy, Monarch. Christ! Not one of those people run legit. Not one. They all got blood on their hands. Did you not hear the balance speech? Did you not understand what it meant? I sure as fuck did, Cinn fucking gets it. ”

Throwing him into the wall and pinning him by the throat with my forearm I ask him, “You want what belongs to me?”

“No,
Savage
,
”
he sneers not backing down. “I don’t. You owe her an apology then if I were you, I’d also get on my knees, and fucking thank her for putting her ass on the line to put your ass at the top of the food chain.”

Backing away his calling me Savage sunk in. He leaves the room, and I don’t stop him. Instead, I grab some liquor and start throwing back shots. Six in, I look up at the hole in the wall and remember the look on her face when she thought for that split second, I’d hurt her. She expected me to deliver punishment. She was waiting for it.

This would be the first time in my life that I could honestly say, I understood what drove the man. I also knew to have a life with her; I had to do whatever it took not to end up like him too. Turns out I was more like him than I’d ever cared to admit.

Leaving the office, I head for our bedroom but she wasn’t there. Before panic set in, Ransom was manning the door to the roof and nodded to me she was up there. Just before I open it,he says his peace and I allow it. “Don’t question my loyalty again,
”
he says stepping away. “Or hers either.”

She was at the far side of the roof that had the best view. She was curled up on the lounge, and she looked broken. Without asking, I pick her up from under her legs setting her in my lap where I liked her most. But she didn’t settle, didn’t lean into me. This was when I knew my broken dove stuffed herself back in her cage, or rather I did.

“How long has that doctor helped you with birth control?
”
I ask treading light.

“Since the night you left, and he took what he wanted. Back then she was a resident, though.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“Yes. That’s how I met her. She treated me, a lot.”

“I’m proud of you for protecting yourself from pregnancy,
”
I tell her honestly. Because the thought of her carrying another man’s baby had my stomach cramping. My woman was not willing to risk it and handled that shit herself, like a queen. Although it killed me to hear he hurt her. That’s all he ever did was hurt her, and I didn’t know until it was too late.. “And now I’ve put you in a position to protect yourself from me too.”

Saying nothing, she just continues to look out over the city. “If something had happened to you,
”
I say turning her to face me but when she looks into my eyes, my queen was gone. “I won’t be like him, Cinn. You should have forewarned me. We had no protection,
”
I try explaining to her.

In a tiny voice she says, “Every one of those people would protect you. They’ve known about you for years. I made sure you were included. You’re the balance;you keep the streets level. I would never put you at a disadvantage,
”
she whispers looking away.

“Cinn,
”
I try.

“You know,
”
she says pulling away to stand. “I think it’s best for both of us that you cut me loose now.”

When my brain registered what she said it took three seconds, just three, to have her pinned under me where she couldn’t get free.

Coughing into the crook of my arm, I find my feet and struggle to stay standing. Leaning against the wall for support, I was almost to the door before he tagged me around the waist. “I’m not done with you, Bean,
”
he grunts.

The pain was flowing through me like acid rendering me speechless. I supposed a size twelve boot to the kidney would do that to a girl. I fought like always but I was losing steam,and he knew it. Pushing me to the floor and flipping me to my back he unzips my jeans smiling at my discomfort. “You obey me,
”
he says pulling my pants down. “You ever try anything like that again, stupid girl, I’ll hand you over to your father. Maybe you like his cock better?”

That night in his madness, he raped me, laughing while I cried.

Remorse hit him hard the next morning, so hard he jumped out of our bedroom window. He didn’t even get a scratch. No, Savage was the evil that would never die.

He called me stupid.

He threatened to cut me loose if I didn’t
obey
.

I was sick of being told what to do especially when I went through hell to get here. He said we’d be equals, and he lied. To him, I was property just as I was with Savage. Only I didn’t love Savage, now did I? This puts me in a precarious position because I can’t be that girl twice regardless of how much I love him. I see him fighting the pull that Savage succumbed to, and I know what happens next. Today his fist destroyed a wall, the next time it would be my face. Oh, he’d be sorry, mortified, and even hate himself for a minute but it would pass. It always did. He’d buy me something, try romance on me until he was forgiven. But then he’d slip again, and when more than an ice pack was needed, I’d be back on Kandace’s table making excuses for my pathetic life.

Staring at the Ambassador Bridge was a fist in my gut because I knew I’d never cross over it just like I’d never be more than
owned
. For the first time in my life, I hated my appearance and what weird fucking power it had over men. My reality sucked, I was never going to be free and in truth, I’ve done so much wrong I knew I didn’t deserve to be either.

I heard him open the door but kept my eyes forward. When he lifted me into his lap, I didn’t settle in because it was no longer my place. When he asked me questions, I gave him honest answers. When I could take no more, I moved away and stood. Then I said my peace wanting this over with when my world was literally flipped upside down when I landed on the lounge with him on top of me.

“You are my queen,
”
he says giving me his full weight. I could smell the alcohol, see the madness and feel his determination. Again, helpless to do nothing more than take it like a good bitch. From my position I knew, fucking knew, a queen of nothing was still nothing. “You belong by my side; a fight doesn’t change that.”

“Is that what this was?
”
I laugh. “A fight? Do we have a makeup fuck now?”

“I said things in anger, things I didn’t mean,
”
he says holding me even tighter. “I scared you, and I’m promising you it will never happen again.”

“Please get off of me,
”
I ask politely.

“Listen to me,
”
he urges trying to play the now-you’re-just-being-difficult-card. “I made a serious mistake, Cinn, and I’m owning up to it. You need to do your part too.  Your intentions may have been good, but you put me in a room full of strangers – ”

“They are not strangers to me!
”
I snap.

“I didn’t know that,
”
he counters losing patience. “It’s my job to – ”

“Get off of me!
”
I scream losing my fucking shit. Then I throw his words back in his face to see if he likes the sting. “Get out of my fucking sight!”

“Mo chuisle,
”
he says pulling me up, but I fight him, needing to breathe. “You’ll hurt yourself, stop.”

“You’re hurting me!
”
I wail. “You hurt me downstairs,and you’re hurting me now! You should have followed through, you fucking pussy! Never make a fist, throw the first fucking punch and not hit your target! Now I’ll always wonder when you’ll slip! You should have put me out of my fucking misery! Now let me go!
”
Breaking away, he looks at me like I’m crazy, and he’d be right, I was. Crazy for thinking he was my Braveheart, my Zeus and above holding a woman down to
listen
.

“Okay, Cinn,
”
he says carefully. “It’s been an emotional day, let’s go to bed and – ”

Shaking my head and rubbing my wrists, I tell him, “I am not sleeping with you.”

“Cinn,
”
he says grinding his jaw. “I’m losing my patience with you.”

“Put me in another room,
”
I demand. “And before you order me otherwise, I’m warning you right now, you force me into bed with you, you will regret it. I will find something, could be a hammer or maybe even a paperclip but make no mistake, Monarch, I will find it, and I’ll fucking kill you with it. Unlike you, I don’t make idle threats.”

Seeing I was serious, he leaves the roof sending Ransom up for me minutes later. Escorting me to my own room, I slam the door and fall into the bed. How long I laid there feeling sorry for myself, I wasn’t sure. Just as I was dozing I felt my phone buzz, I see it’s Pope. “Yes,
”
I answer.

“We need to talk,
”
he says. “Can you meet me somewhere?”

“No,
”
I tell him. “Speak now, I’m alone.”

“Demo is causing problems,
”
he explains. “Motherfucker has been in position a day. A fucking day. He wants you in the den, says you belong here, and I agree. We need you running the den, not Demo, not Monarch. The men want to be led by you. The ones that didn’t are dead. Men will kill him to put you in power if you don’t step forward, Cinn. This isn’t a joke.”

“I’m sorry,
”
I say sitting up. “Don’t you work for Monarch? I’m pretty certain your job was to watch me, report back to him and from the sounds of it, you didn’t even do that. How did he not know that I worked with Jules? And speaking of unknown shit, did you know about the deal?” His silence was all the confirmation I needed. “How could you do that to me?”

“Had I said a fucking word to him you know what would have happened,
”
he sighs. “Fuck, you gotta know I wanted to, but he would have ruined everything and gotten you killed in the process. That fucking deal would have never worked out for you even if you had known. Savage held it over his head to keep him in line, Cinn. When he realized he was conned that set shit in motion that coincided with the same shit, you set into motion. Had you known and approached Savage what do you think would happen?”

“Shit,
”
I groan. “I get it.”

“It wasn’t time yet,
”
he says gently. “Now it is so I need you to listen. The day I was sent here my loyalty, our loyalty was transferred to you. You need to trust my reasons for not telling him shit,and I need you to trust what I’m telling you now.
”
Lowering his voice he says, “When it comes to you, Monarch is not…stable.”

“Preaching to the choir, Pope,
”
I mumble. “I’ll handle Demo and Monarch, I just need you to hold it down until I can get there.”

“What I’m about to say stays between us,
”
he says quietly.

“I’m listening.”

“When it comes to you, Monarch is no better than Savage,
”
he says slowly. “I respect the guy, but you’re the reason me and Gunner stayed in this den all these years. The way you run business is something we can get behind. You aren’t power hungry, and you don’t kill for sport, Monarch is, and he does. He has to be top dog at any cost. Shit, Cinn, he left you behind to do it. He’d do it again, remember that.”

“I’ll be in touch,
”
I tell him refusing to hear anymore. “Thanks, Pope.”

Hanging up, I toss my phone and rub my eyes. Nothing he said was false, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. I’m a pawn, a tool, and a means. I am good at business, always have been. The majority of Savage’s men, my men, were loyal to me, not him. I left them all behind to have a future with Monarch, and I realized in truth, I was no better than either, my motives were the same.

I gave no thought to anyone who depended on me to get to where I wanted to be. Whether Monarch wanted to see the truth or not, Demo was, in fact, a problem. Because when he was taken down or stepped down, the den would need me to come back to survive, or we lose the balance. Unless he got his shit together and trusted me, to unite both dens making us the true rulers together, this was never going to work, and I didn’t want it to. Whether he knew it or not, his own men wanted to see him fall. It was a gut feeling, and I trusted my gut. As for me, I just wanted out. I just wanted to live in peace or at least as much as someone like me was allowed.

Except I wasn’t that naïve thirteen-year old, who believed in fairy tales anymore. My reality, like my future, would be filled with nothing but death and blood. It was time I accepted this was my lot.