Mourning Sun (3 page)

I pointed to the table where Janet sat open-mouthed. Thomas and Nate waved, welcoming smiles plastered on their faces. It wasn't often that one of the beautiful people went out of their way to interact with me or my friends. Mathias nodded once, smiled and headed across the cafeteria.
"Well," Cecelia said, "you must have made some impression in English class."

"Shove it, Cece," I said. I watched as Mathias sat next to Nate, immediately engaging in what looked like a spirited conversation with my friends. I wanted to be happy that this dark stranger had chosen me and my friends, but deep down, I knew the kind of trouble his attention was going to cause for us. When Mathias tired of me and my friends, he would be welcomed into the Golden Ones with open arms. His good looks and obvious wealth made that a nobrainer. The thought of Mathias backing Stephanie's campaign to make me miserable made my chest tight with anguish. Would the taunts and insults be any less painful if they were spoken in his rough, silky voice?

Cecelia pushed me through the line, pulling me back to reality each time I turned to stare at the boy who continued to talk to my friends, but kept watching me. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I wanted to know why he seemed to like me when we'd done nothing more than share a book.

"If you keep gawking, he's going to think you're brain damaged," Cecelia hissed as we walked to the table.

 

"I can't help it," I said. "How can you look away?"

 

"He's cute," Cecelia said. "I'll give you that. But he's not really my type."

I shook my head and tried to pull my gaze from the dark eyes that watched each step I took. His smile was wide, welcoming and dazzling. I felt the world around us dim until only he and I existed.

It was a heady feeling to be the center of attention from this amazing and mysterious boy, but there was something sinister underlying every good feeling I'd had about him. In the back of my mind I kept seeing his eyes, dark and cold, above the pale flesh of Kathryn's arm. I heard the wet passage of blood from her body to his lips. I saw her glassy stare when he'd finished with her. No matter what Cecelia had said about too many romance novels, my dream still haunted me and left me to wonder if someday I might not willingly watch this beautiful stranger drain my life away.
I sat down next to Janet, who looked like she was going to burst at the seams if she didn't get to ask me about Mathias soon. The thing was, I didn't know what I could say. "Yeah, we shared a book in English today. Oh and I dreamed about him last night," was all I could think of. As to why he was sitting next to me, smiling at me, trying to engage me in conversation, I had absolutely no idea. All I did know was that each time I heard his voice, my heart stuttered and my breath caught in my throat.

"Mathias was just telling us about Los Angeles," Thomas said. "I can't imagine why anyone would move from someplace exciting like Los Angeles to someplace as dull as here."

"I don't know," Mathias said, looking at me, "I don't think here is dull at all."

 

***

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Mathias appeared in each of my afternoon classes, sat himself near me and so far as I could tell, spoke to no one but me and my friends. By the end of the day, Stephanie and her cronies were livid and glared daggers at me. Mathias had, not so subtly, rebuffed her and several others four times during various classes and I could see the rumor mill would be full of hateful things about us the next day.

Oddly enough for the first time since middle school, I didn't care what the Golden Ones might say. I was engrossed in the mystery that was Mathias Auer.

 

"Tell me about Highland Home," he said as we walked from one class to the next.

 

"There's really not much to tell," I said. "The best part of this crappy town is the beach."

 

Mathias smiled. "I will agree with you that the beach here is quite pleasant. It was part of the reason I chose to move here."

"Just part?" The bell rang and we were forced to cut our conversation short. I wondered what else had prompted Mathias, who obviously had wealth and refinement, to choose a provincial New England town like Highland Home over Los Angeles. I wondered, too, where his parents were. He spoke of making choices as though he had no one to whom he answered.

When the final bell rang, Mathias was gone before I could question him further about what had brought him to Highland Home. His parting words had pushed all other questions out of my head.

"I will see you in the morning, Mairin," Mathias said after the bell had rung.

 

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Why?"

Mathias smiled at me and my heart skipped erratically in my chest. "Because I am not strong enough to deny myself your company," he said and then he was gone.

As I watched him walk down the hall, I realized it didn't matter that I had no idea why this beautiful and mysterious boy was so interested in me. The fact that he was made me feel whole in a way I'd never felt before. He saw me, sought me out, made me feel visible when before I'd always been something of a ghost. It was almost as though Mathias was the sun and through his light the shadows were chased away and I was left revealed. I shook myself out of my reverie and headed for my locker.

"Oooooh, the new boy likes Mairin," Stephanie said, envy dripping from her tongue. "We'll have to start calling them M&M."

 

The crowd of girls who always surrounded Stephanie laughed loudly before beginning to chant, "M&M. M&M."

 

I ducked my head and grabbed what I needed from my locker. Cecelia joined me and we headed for my car.

"Tell me everything," she said. "I don't know what to tell you, Cecelia. You saw him almost as much as I did today."

"Yeah, but he didn't spend the day looking for reasons to get close to me."

A shiver ran down my spine. "He wasn't looking for reasons to get close to me," I said. "I'm sure he was just sticking close to the familiar. Tomorrow he'll realize what a social nonentity I am at this school and jump ship for Stephanie's crowd."

"I doubt that," Cecelia said, but she dropped the interrogation as we headed out to the parking lot.

Between Mathias' parting comment and Cecelia's insistence that Mathias was looking for reasons to be near me, I was completely confused. I would have to concede that Cecelia was right. Mathias had spent the entire day seeking ways to remain by my side. I still had no idea why, but I couldn't deny the truth of that observation.

Mathias' parting words were problematic. What did it mean that he didn't have the strength to stay away from me? There was a weight to those words which made me more than a little uncomfortable. It was almost as though he knew of my dream, of my premonitions and while he felt he had a choice to stay or go, going was the harder of the two options. So hard that he'd rather stay and be in pain than go.

It was a silly fantasy, of course. No one was fated to live any one way or do anything. We all chose our own paths.

When we reached the parking lot, Kerry waited at my car. She looked at me a little strangely but didn't say anything. She climbed into the back seat, leaving the front for Cecelia.

"How was your first day, sis?" I asked.

 

"OK"

 

I glanced in the rear view mirror. "Just OK?" I asked. "Yeah."

I was thinking of pressing Kerry for details when I rounded the corner of the building and damn near ran over Thomas as he charged across parking lot to where a knot of people surrounded one sleek, black car. I didn't really have to look to know it would be Mathias leaning casually against the driver's door. Of course he would drive that little sports car. His clothes probably cost more than my car, why wouldn't his car be worth more than my mom's house? He looked up as I pulled past him and I felt his gaze lock on mine.

"That would be his car," I mumbled.

 

"What?"

 

"Mathias' car. He drives that little sports car of course."

 

"Is that the guy everyone's been talking about today?" Kerry asked.

 

"I guess so. I wasn't listening," I said.

 

Kerry was looking over her shoulder. "I think he wants you to stop, Mairin," she said.

I just shook my head and kept going. Beautiful, I could handle. Rich I could handle. I'd grown up in Highland Home, I saw rich and beautiful everyday. Mysterious and new, I could handle. What I couldn't handle was this inexplicable desire Mathias seemed to have for me. It wasn't normal, and I'd had enough of strange for one day. I needed to get away from Mathias and his intensity.

I drove to Cecelia's house in silence. I kept seeing Mathias leaning against his car, a tiny smile pulling the corner of his mouth up. He had been so still amid the chaos of swarming boys and girls who wanted to see his car, to see him. He'd just stood and let them pool around him like moths to a flame. Hadn't I thought of him as a sun, a light to draw everything around him into sharper focus? Why wouldn't he be flames as well? Would he consume me if I let myself get too close? Something about the way he moved, about the way he looked at me, made me think he probably would burn me up. And I'd smile as the flames devoured me.

"Call me later?" Cecelia called as she left the car.

"Yeah." I could tell my brooding silence had bothered her, but Cecelia was never one to push when I wasn't opening up. It was part of why we'd been friends for so long.

She shook her head before turning to her house. I backed out, glancing at Kerry again as I did.

 

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" I asked.

She climbed over the seat and then looked at me for a while before she said anything. I let her take her time. Kerry and I were very different people. Where I'd always been kind of solitary and brooding, my sister was open and gregarious. She watched me and dealt with my metaphysical crap as though there were no other way to be. I tried to look out for her, but often that meant keeping a distance so those who sought to hurt me wouldn't notice her. She watched me now as though seeing me for the first time.

"Why didn't you tell me things were so bad for you at school?" she asked finally.

I sighed. I'd hoped it would take a little longer before Kerry had to face the ugly things people said about us, but I'd known, deep down, today would probably be the last day of her childhood.

"I'm surviving," I said. "How about you?"

 

She shook her head. "Nobody was mean to me, but I heard some girls saying some awful stuff about you."

 

"Let them, okay Kerr? Don't get into it with them. It isn't worth it. They'll just start in on you too."

 

"It's not fair," she said. "Nope."

 

"No wonder you study so hard. You cant wait to get out of Highland Home."

 

I reached for her hand. "You're right, Kerr. I'm ready to move on, but I'll never leave you behind. We're sisters. That's forever."

 

She smiled, but I could see the pain in her eyes. I knew if she tried to stop Stephanie, the Golden Ones would devour her.

 

"I hate those girls," she said softly.

 

"Don't hate them, Kerr. Pity them. They don't like themselves very much. That's why they're nasty to me. Just promise to stay out of Stephanie's way, okay?"

Kerry nodded and I hoped she would take my advice. Stephanie Bartlet would destroy my little sister if Kerry pushed her too hard. I couldn't let that happen. Kerry had a chance to have a relatively happy and normal high school career, if I could keep her from getting caught up in the irrational hatred Stephanie had toward me. At least that's what I thought.

Chapter 2
"Mairin, come to me," Mathias whispered.

Mathias stood on the edge of a black abyss. Around him, darkness pressed in, leaving only his luminescent skin glowing in the dark. Between us the way across the abyss lay in ruins. The bridge was gone, the remains crumbled on the edge of the darkness.

"How?" I called, startled by the echo.

 

"You must have faith, my love. Take the leap. I beg you." Mathias reached for me. "I need you to have faith in me."

 

"I'm afraid," I said, taking one step toward the yawning crevasse. "What if I fall?"

 

"I will always catch you, Mairin. Come to me."

 

My foot hovered over the edge. I was ready to take the leap of faith. Hadn't he proven his worth? Didn't he deserve my faith in him?

 

"I'm coming Mathias."

Suddenly the sun shot above the horizon behind Mathias, bathing me in its golden light. For a moment I was dazzled by the light and believed it had come from Mathias. It wasn't until Mathias screamed and smoke poured from his chest that I realized the horror of the sun's affect on him. The acrid flames burst forth and consumed him, leaving nothing but ash. The scream built in my throat but the flames leaped across the crevasse and consumed me.

***

My heart thundered in my chest and I lay gasping for breath. I could still feel the flames baking my skin, but the light was gone. The darkness pressed against me like a living thing. I tried to scream, but there wasn't enough air left in my lungs to form the sound. I could still smell the flames, feel their heat buried in the consuming darkness.
"Mairin."

It was his voice. Of course it was. He whispered my name and I held my breath, waiting to hear it again, to hear anything. Nothing came.

My heart began to slow and I realized the distant glow at the edge of my sight was from the alarm clock beside my bed. I could hear the quiet night sounds of our house, and I could hear the soft snoring coming from Mom and Tawnya's room.

I sat up slowly, uncurling my fists and releasing the sheets. At least this time I hadn't screamed. In the weeks since Mathias had come to Highland Home, I had dreamed of him every night. It wasn't that surprising, really, since he still spent his days by my side. The dreams, however, were getting more and more horrifying. This one had been the worst. It was almost as though the dreams in which Mathias killed and consumed the nameless hordes who populated my dreams were more acceptable to me than a dream in which Mathias himself was the victim, even if he took me with him into the inferno. I couldn't grasp the idea of someone or something destroying the amazing soul who was Mathias Auer.