Mr. Cavendish, I Presume (32 page)

And so he just shook his head, holding Jack’s gaze with his own. “I may be bred to it, but you were born to it. And I cannot take what is yours.”

“I don’t want it!” Jack burst out.

“It is not yours to accept or deny,” Thomas said.

“Don’t you understand? It is not a possession. It is who you are.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Jack swore. His hands were shaking. His whole body was shaking. “I am
giving
it to you. On a bloody silver platter. You stay the duke, and I shall leave you alone. I’ll even be
your
scout in the Outer Hebrides. Anything. Just tear the page out.”

“If you didn’t want the title, why didn’t you just say that your parents hadn’t been married at the outset?”

Thomas shot back. “I asked you if your parents were married. You could have said no.”

“I didn’t
know
that I was in line to inherit when you questioned my legitimacy.”

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Thomas stared down at the register. Just one book—

no, just one page of one book. That was all that stood between him and everything that was familiar, everything he thought was true.

It was tempting. He could taste it in his mouth—desire, greed. Fear, too. A galling dose of it.

He could tear out that page and no one would be the wiser. The pages weren’t even numbered. If they removed it carefully enough, no one would realize it was gone.

Life would be normal. He would return to Belgrave precisely as he’d left, with all the same possessions, responsibilities, and commitments.

Including Amelia.

She should have been his duchess by now. He should never have dragged his feet.

If he tore out that page . . .

“Do you hear that?” Jack hissed.

Thomas perked up, his ear instinctively tilting toward the window.

Horses.

“They’re here,” Thomas said.

It was now or never.

He stared at the register.

And stared.

“I can’t do it,” he whispered.

And then—it happened so fast—Jack pushed by him, knocking him aside. Thomas just managed to snap his face back when he saw Jack with his hands on the register . . . ripping it apart.

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Thomas hurled himself forward, landing hard on Jack as he tried to grab the torn page from his fingers, but Jack slid out from his grasp, launching himself toward the fire.

“Jack, no!” Thomas yelled, but Jack was too quick, and even as he caught hold of his arm, Jack managed to hurl the paper into the fire.

Thomas staggered back, horrified by the sight of it. The center caught the flame first, bursting a hole through the middle of the page. Then the corners began to curl, blackening until they crumbled.

Soot. Ashes.

Dust.

“God in heaven,” Thomas whispered. “What have you done?”

Amelia had thought that she’d never again have to ponder the words
worst day
and
of my life
in the same sentence. After the scene in the Belgrave drawing room, when two men had nearly come to blows over which one of them would be forced to marry her—well, one didn’t generally think such depths of humiliation could be achieved twice in one lifetime.

Her father, however, had apparently not been informed of this.

“Papa, stop,” she pleaded, digging in her heels—

quite literally—as he attempted to drag her through the door of the Maguiresbridge rectory.

“I’d think you’d be a bit more eager to have an answer,” he said impatiently. “God knows I am.”

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It had been a dreadful morning. When the dowager discovered that the two men had ridden off to the church without her, she went—and Amelia did not think this an exaggeration—berserk. Even more chill-ing was the speed with which she recovered. (Under a minute, by Amelia’s estimation.) The dowager’s rage was now channeled into icy purpose, and frankly, Amelia found this even more frightening than her fury.

As soon as she found out that Grace did not intend to accompany them to Maguiresbridge, she latched herself to Grace’s arm and hissed, “Do not leave me alone with that woman.”

Grace had tried to explain that Amelia wouldn’t be alone, but Amelia was having none of that and refused to leave without her. And as Lord Crowland would not go without Amelia, and they needed Mrs. Audley to direct them to the proper church . . .

It was a crowded carriage that made its way to County Fermanagh.

Amelia was wedged in on the rear-facing seat with Grace and Mrs. Audley, which would have been no trouble whatsoever except that she was facing the dowager, who kept demanding that poor Mrs. Audley update her on their progress. Which meant that Mrs.

Audley had to twist, jostling into Grace, who jostled into Amelia, who was already overly tense and appre-hensive.

And then, as soon as they arrived, her father had grabbed her by the arm and hissed one last lecture in her ear about fathers and daughters and the rules governing the relations thereof, not to mention three full Mr. Cavendish, I Presume

319

sentences about dynastic legacies, family fortunes, and responsibilities to the Crown.

All in her ear, and all in under a minute. If she hadn’t been forced to endure the same set of directives so many times in the past week, she would not have understood a word of it.

She’d tried to tell him that Thomas and Jack deserved their privacy, that they should not have to discover their fates with an audience, but she supposed the point was now moot. The dowager had charged ahead, and Amelia could hear her bellowing, “Where is it?”

Amelia twisted, facing Grace and Mrs. Audley, who were following several horrified paces behind. But before she could say anything, her father yanked hard on her arm, and she went stumbling over the threshold behind him.

A woman stood in the center of the room, teacup in hand, the expression on her face somewhere between startled and alarmed. The housekeeper, probably, although Amelia could not inquire. Her father was still dragging her along behind him, determined not to allow the dowager to reach Thomas and Jack too far ahead of him.

“Move,”
he growled at her, but a strange, almost pre-ternatural panic had begun to set in, and she did not want to go into that back room.

“Father . . . ” she tried to say, but the second syllable died on her tongue.

Thomas
.

There he was, standing in front of her now that her father had hauled her through the doorway. He was 320 Julia

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standing very still, utterly expressionless, his eyes focused at a spot in the wall that held no window, no painting—nothing at all, save for his attention.

Amelia choked back a cry. He had lost the title. He didn’t have to say a word. He did not even have to look at her. She could see it in his face.

“How dare you leave without me?” the dowager demanded. “Where is it? I demand to see the register.”

But no one spoke. Thomas remained unmoving, stiff and proud, like the duke they’d all thought he was, and Jack—good heavens, he looked positively ill. His color was high, and it was clear to Amelia that he was breathing far too fast.

“What did you find?” the dowager practically screamed.

Amelia stared at Thomas. He did not speak.

“He is Wyndham,” Jack finally said. “As he should be.”

Amelia gasped, hoping,
praying
that she’d been wrong about the look on Thomas’s face. She did not care about the title or the riches or the land. She just wanted
him,
but he was too bloody proud to give himself to her if he was nothing more than Mr. Thomas Cavendish, gentleman of Lincolnshire.

The dowager turned sharply toward Thomas. “Is this true?”

Thomas said nothing.

The dowager repeated her question, grabbing Thomas’s arm with enough ferocity to make Amelia wince.

“There is no record of a marriage,” Jack insisted.

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Thomas said nothing.

“Thomas is the duke,” Jack said again, but he sounded scared. Desperate. “Why aren’t you listening? Why isn’t anyone listening to me?”

Amelia held her breath.

“He lies,” Thomas said in a low voice.

Amelia swallowed, because her only other option was to cry.

“No,” Jack burst out, “I’m telling you—”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Thomas snapped. “Do you think no one will find you out? There will be witnesses.

Do you really think there won’t be any witnesses to the wedding? For God’s sake, you can’t rewrite the past.”

He looked at the fire. “Or burn it, as the case may be.”

Amelia stared at him, and then she realized—
he
could have lied
.

He could have lied. But he didn’t.

If he’d lied—

“He tore the page from the register,” Thomas said, his voice a strange, detached monotone. “He threw it into the fire.”

As one, the room turned, mesmerized by the flames crackling in the fireplace. But there was nothing to see, not even those dark sooty swirls that rose into the air when paper burned. No evidence at all of Jack’s crime.

If Thomas had lied—

No one would have known. He could have kept it all.

He could have kept his title. His money.

He could have kept
her
.

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“It’s yours,” Thomas said, turning to Jack. And then he bowed. To Jack. Who looked aghast.

Thomas turned, facing the rest of the room. “I am—”

He cleared his throat, and when he continued, his voice was even and proud. “I am Mr. Cavendish,” he said,

“and I bid you all a good day.”

And then he left. He brushed past them all and walked right out the door.

He didn’t look at Amelia.

And as she stood there in silence, it occurred to her—he hadn’t looked at her at all. Not even once. He had stood in place, staring at the wall, at Jack, at his grandmother, even at Grace.

But he’d never looked at her.

It was a strange thing in which to take comfort. But she did.

Chapter 20

Thomas had no idea where he intended to go. When he moved through the rectory, brushing past the housekeeper, who’d gone from disinterest to unabashed eavesdropping; when he walked down the front steps and into the bright Irish sunlight; when he stood there for a moment, blinking, disoriented, he only had one thought—

Away.

He had to get away.

He did not want to see his grandmother. He did not want to see the new Duke of Wyndham.

He did not want Amelia to see
him
.

And so he hopped on his horse and rode. He rode all the way to Butlersbridge, since it was the only place he knew. He passed the drive to Cloverhill—he was not ready to go back
there
, not when the rest of them would be returning so soon—and continued on until he saw a 324 Julia

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public house on his right. It looked reputable enough, so he dismounted and went in.

And that was where Amelia found him, five hours later.

“We’ve been looking for you,” she said, her tone trying to be bright and cheerful.

Thomas closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing one finger along the bridge of his nose before he replied. “It appears you have found me.”

She sucked in her lips, her eyes resting on the half-empty tankard of ale that sat before him.

“I am not drunk, if that is what you are wondering.”

“I would not fault you if you were.”

“A tolerant woman.” He sat back in his chair, his posture lazy and loose. “What a pity I did not marry you.”

Not drunk, perhaps, but he’d had enough alcohol to have become a little bit mean.

She did not reply. Which was probably for the best.

If she’d given him the set-down he so richly deserved, he’d have had to respond in kind. Because that was the sort of mood he was in. And then he’d have to dislike himself even more than he did right now.

Frankly, he found the whole proposition rather tire-some.

She did not deserve his foul mood, but then again, he
had
attempted to remove himself from social interac-tion. She was the one who had hunted him down, all the way to the Derragarra Inn.

She sat in the chair across from him, regarding him with an even expression. And then it occurred to him—

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“What are you doing here?”

“I believe I said I was looking for you.”

He looked around. They were in a pub, for God’s sake. Men were drinking. “You came without a chaperone?”

She gave a little shrug. “I doubt anyone has noticed I’ve gone missing. There is quite a bit of excitement at Cloverhill.”

“All are feting the new duke?” he asked, dry and wry.

She cocked her head to the side, a tiny acknowledgment of his sarcasm. “All are feting his upcoming marriage.”

He looked up sharply at that.

“
Not
to me,” she put in hastily, raising a hand as if to ward off the query.

“Yes,” he murmured. “All that feting would be a bit awkward without the bride.”

Her mouth clamped together, betraying her impatience with him. But she kept her temper, saying, “He is marrying Grace.”

“Is he now?” He smiled at that. For real. “That’s good. That’s a good thing.”

“They seem to love each other very much.”

He looked up at her. She was sitting very quietly.

It wasn’t just her voice, though; it was her demeanor, her aspect. Her hair was pulled back loosely, with a few misbehaving tendrils tucked behind her ears, and her mouth—she wasn’t smiling, but she wasn’t frown-ing, either. Considering all that had transpired that day, she was remarkably serene and composed. And 326 Julia

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maybe a little happy. If not for herself, then for Jack and Grace.

“The proposal was very romantic,” she informed him.

“You witnessed it?”

She grinned. “We all did.”

“Even my grandmother?”

“Oh, yes.”

He chuckled, despite his determination to remain cross. “I am sorry I missed it.”

“I am sorry you missed it, too.”