Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love-kindle (71 page)

“Oh, Jane, do you suppose Papa will allow it?”

Jane smiled indulgently. “You forget. By the time I am married, you shall be one and twenty and able to come if you wish!”

Lizzy sobered, looking bewildered. “In all the turmoil, I had forgotten. Before now, it never occurred to me to go against Papa’s wishes, even after I reach my majority. Do you think he would be very angry with you for taking me to London? After all, he will know why I am going, and he has ordered us to stay apart.”

Jane looked very pensive before she answered. “I pray not, but I am willing to risk Papa’s ire for your sake. You deserve the same degree of happiness that I have found with Charles. Besides, every time I think of what you endured at our aunt’s hands, and with Mama’s blessing, just to convince me that I am worthy of more than John Lucas—”

Nearly overcome, Jane stood and wiped her teary eyes resolutely. “NO! You are just as deserving of a man like my Charles, and if that man is Mr. Darcy, then so be it! I shall not back down to please Papa or Mama.”

Elizabeth stood, hugging her sister. “You are too good to me.” Then she pulled back. “I do have something to confess, though. I was too stubborn to admit it before, but you were right about the gentlemen in London not being keen to marry us—at least none that have good sense.”

Jane giggled, which made Elizabeth smile. “I know no such thing. If any of them had shown good sense, they would have flocked to you in droves and begged for your hand.”

“I am not sure even Mr. Darcy would agree with your opinion. For, alas, he resisted my charms for quite some time,” Lizzy countered.

Jane’s expression grew solemn. “I must disagree, Lizzy. Charles told me how steadfastly Mr. Darcy resisted falling in love, even before Gisela’s entrapment. Apparently, when he was yet at university with Charles, he confessed to having soured on the idea of marriage after seeing his parents’ struggles and discontent. Yet he fell madly and irrevocably in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you in Mr. Grant’s shop. He confessed as much to Charles.”

Joy filled Elizabeth’s heart at that revelation and she smiled dreamily. It was the first smile Jane had seen since she had returned.

“Do you remember the moment you met him?”

“How can I ever forget?”

“Then cling to that memory, dearest. Cling to all of your memories. They shall sustain you while you wait for your Mr. Darcy to be free.”

Elizabeth took a ragged breath and let it go. “I fear that I shall have to make do with my memories for a long time to come.”

Their father joined them a half-hour later to assure Lizzy that their mother was reconciled to his judgment, and she would suffer no more cutting remarks from that quarter. Neither young woman thought it would be that simple once they returned to Longbourn, though they dared not voice their opinion.

~~~*~~~

Darcy House

It would be late afternoon before anyone saw William again. Still, Audrey knew exactly where he was, as she had gone to find him when he did not come to the parlour after Elizabeth left for the Gardiners’ home. They were both so dear to her that concentrating on their happiness allowed her to postpone thinking about what Marshall had confessed.

Enquiring of the head upstairs maid as to William’s whereabouts, she learned that he had been seen entering the guest room that Miss Bennet had occupied but not leaving. Concerned, she had obtained the keys and gone inside, only to find him fast asleep on the bed, his face buried in Elizabeth’s shawl.

Coping with all she had learned that morning, the poignancy of this discovery had been almost too much to bear. Retreating to her rooms, Audrey vowed not to leave until she could project a serene facade.

~~~*~~~

The sun dipped low in the sky before Lady Ashcroft once more made her way down the grand staircase. Encountering Mrs. Barnes, she asked, “Is my nephew about?”

“Yes, madam, he is presently in his study with Lord Landingham.”

“Thank you.”

Aunt Audrey swiftly headed in that direction. When she got to the door, she stood outside trying to hear what was being said, as it was obvious that her nephew and Marshall were having a disagreement. Suddenly, the door opened and Landingham was face to face with her. The tortured look in his eyes made her heart break, but she was unable to speak. When he realised that she was not going to say anything, he nodded and stepped into the hall while she stepped back to let him pass.

Her eyes followed him as he walked towards the foyer, and she wished with all her heart that she could beg him to stay, but, alas, she could not. Not yet. There was too much in her heart that needed sorting out before she could offer him her support.

Suddenly, Fitzwilliam stood behind her. She turned to see the same look of agony in his eyes. “Fitzwilliam, I was coming to tell you that I am available if you need to talk.”

“I… I know that you are aware of what Lord Landingham had to say.” The use of Marshall’s title showed William’s unhappiness with his godfather. “I have asked him to allow me to be the one to inform Georgiana. Would you consider joining me when I do? You are like a mother to her, and I think she may need you more than me, once we are finished.”

“Certainly, if that is your desire. I love you both, and I am at your disposal.”

William indicated that they should walk, and they headed towards the foyer, talking quietly. “Would now be convenient?”

“Yes.”

They had no more than reached the foyer, when Georgiana met them at the bottom of the steps.

“Brother, have you heard from Miss Elizabeth since she returned to her aunt’s home? Is she well? Will she be visiting again soon?”  The pained look on her brother’s face silenced her, and her entire demeanour changed. She looked from him to her aunt fearfully.

William reached for her hand. “Sweetling, I have not heard from Elizabeth, and I have no idea if she will be allowed to visit us again. I pray she will, but we shall have to wait and see. However, there is something of great importance that your aunt and I need to discuss with you. Would you be so kind as to come to my study?”

Her brow furrowed. “Your study? What is the matter?”

Lady Ashcroft stepped forward, the palm of her hand caressing her cheek. “Georgiana, dearest, we shall explain all once we are in the study.”

A timid smile reappeared. “It seems I have no choice.”

William left orders that they were not to be disturbed. This time no raised voices could be heard in the hallway, though they did not depart the room for the greater part of an hour.

~~~*~~~

One hour later

Audrey sat in the corner of the large upholstered sofa that faced the windows of William’s study. Normally the beautiful view would have lifted her spirits, but not today. In her arms she held Georgiana, the girl’s head lying against her chest. She comforted her niece by running her hands through her long curls and whispering endearments. Weeping steadily since learning of Landingham’s confession, it now appeared that Georgiana had exhausted her tears, and they were to be replaced by sporadic sniffles.

It had been quite a blow for her to learn that her mother had had an affair with her godfather and that he, not George Darcy, was her father. Upset to see his sister’s distress, William had become so overwrought that Audrey had asked him to take a walk about the park to calm himself. It was obvious that he did not want to comply, but reluctantly, he had left to do just that. And once they were alone, Georgiana had poured out her heart, saying those things which would have only further upset her brother were he still there.

“Why? Why would anyone act in such a manner, especially my own parents? To break their marriage vows? And why would Father let Fitzwilliam pay for his sins with Gisela by marrying her?”

She burst into tears, stuttering, “I for… forgot he is not my fa… father!”

“There, there,” Audrey cooed, rocking her more vigorously. “You must calm yourself, Georgiana. Try to think rationally. I believe you have seen enough unhappy alliances in your short lifetime to know that most marriages are just that—alliances. They are formed to accomplish a purpose, rather than because of any great love. More often than not, despite managing to birth an heir or more, the parties go their separate ways.”

“But I thought my mother and father were in love.”

“I remember when they married, and I truly believe that they were then. However, the cares of life sometime cause people to fall out of love. There is a lesson to be learned in this. Marriage is something to be nurtured and not neglected.”

“But why did it have to happen to me—to my parents?”

“Should it happen to someone else? Lady Strongham perhaps? Or are you speaking of your friend, Lady Horton, whose father deserted her and her mother to reside with his mistress?”

“Of course not! You know that is not what I meant.”

“I am only pointing out that life is not fair and that rain falls on the just and the unjust. You have heard your brother’s explanation of what caused their marriage to falter. Your father made a poor decision in regards to your mother’s health, which basically was to abandon her. And, Anne, bless her, was ruled by a desire to have more children.”

“In my heart I understand all of Fitzwilliam’s explanations—Mother’s fragile health and Father’s weaknesses. I can even forgive my parents’ mistakes, but I can never accept them as reason to break their vows.”

“If it makes you feel any better, your brother feels the same.”

“Does he hate our godfather? For I worry that I shall come to hate him for deceiving me all these years.”

Audrey took her niece’s face in her hands, searching the depths of her blue eyes for understanding. “I have not had time to talk to Fitzwilliam about his feelings toward Marshall, but I know him well enough to know that he could never hate him.” Georgiana looked embarrassed and her eyes fell. “Fitzwilliam would never forget all the years that he has been like a father to him, and you, or that he almost died saving you from Wickham.”

A lone tear slipped down Georgiana’s face and she sniffled again.

“And you know that Marshall did not purposefully deceive you. Your mother had him swear never to tell anyone he was your father. And in spite of all the obstacles in his path, he managed to be a steadfast presence in your life and has shown you and your brother an unwavering love.”

“But… but he was not forthcoming with the truth.”

“Knowing him as you do, do you not think that it must have broken his heart not to be able to tell the world that you were his child? For, if you think of it, he has no offspring but you. And if I remember correctly, Anne said that it was he who taught you to ride and to swim, even to fish, not George. I would say he has tried to be like a father to you all along.”

Sitting up straighter, Georgiana began wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I… I know you are correct, and I am sorry that it fell to you to remind me of his love for me. I do not believe I would have gotten quite as angry if I did not love him, too. I thought he could do no wrong, and I placed him on a pedestal.”

“But pedestals are hard places to live— there is so little room to manoeuvre without falling off.”

Georgiana saw that her aunt was teasing. She began to smile. “I never thought about it, but I suppose they are. Everything I have learned today has been painful to hear, and it will be hard to contemplate that Lord Landingham is now my father, though I must. Would it be possible not to see him until I sort it all out? Do you think he will understand?”

“I am certain he will. Why not write him a note and tell him how you feel?”

“I shall.” She touched her aunt’s cheek. “Most of all I regret the effect all this may have on your relationship with him.”

“Do not let that trouble you,” Audrey interjected. “That is the last thing you should take into account. Instead, concentrate on the bond you have always shared with him and how to establish your future relationship.”

“I will.”

“Now, what shall you do about your brother? You were very harsh with him.”

“I shall find him and apologise. I should not have shouted at him, but I was just so upset that he would ruin his life for my sake! Why did he not just tell me the truth and toss Gisela to the street?”

“You must look at it from his perspective. You were only twelve and deeply affected by your parent’s death. He worried that learning you were not George Darcy’s child might destroy what little stability you had left. He was not willing to take that risk, so he made a decision that effectively put it off until you were older. Had the roles been reversed, I have no doubt you would have done the same.”

She turned to look into her aunt’s eyes. “Still, I feel responsible for all his misery, and I love him so much…” She could not finish, but instead bit her lip to keep from weeping anew.

“How often have I said that you are not responsible for the actions of others, Georgiana? We must all answer for our own deeds and nothing more. Other than caring advice, none of us can affect another’s decisions once they reach a certain age. That is why it is imperative to ‘bring up a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.’
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If they are raised with Godly values, they are less likely to fall into the predicaments that plague those who have no religious foundation.”

Standing to her feet, Georgiana began to wipe her face and smooth her hair. “Do I look presentable? I would like to go find Fitzwilliam and apologise.”

“After you slip on your bonnet, you will look perfectly fine. I am sure that Mr. Withers would enjoy a walk in the park, he is always eager to walk out when I feel the urge to stretch my legs. Why do you not ask Mr. Barnes to send for him?”

Georgiana smiled shyly, “I shall, and Aunt?”

By this time Audrey Ashcroft had risen and was smoothing her skirts. “Yes?”
“Thank you for always knowing what to say. Brother tries hard to understand me, but he is a man, after all. I do not know what I would do without you. You are so dear to me.”