Mr. Darcy's Refuge (41 page)

The mention of Netherfield did not cause her the pang of distress that it had so often since Mr. Bingley had left. “It is kind of Mr. Bingley to allow them the use of it.” How odd it was – usually she found it difficult to speak his name, but this time it rolled off her tongue without a second thought.

He seemed unusually preoccupied with the horses as he steered them around a slow farm cart. “I understand that Bingley will be returning there soon as well.”

For a moment she could not think at all. She had prayed for so long to hear this news, had longed for it and dreamed about it, and now that it was here, she felt nothing except embarrassment for all the talk and pitying looks that would now begin anew, just when they had started to wane. With Lydia’s disgrace, Mr. Bingley would be that much less likely to seek her out. He might even start dangling after some other pretty girl who would at least have the advantage of knowing that he would eventually disappoint her hopes. She would not be able to avoid seeing him if Lizzy was living at Netherfield. To her astonishment, she realized she did not want to see him at all, and that distressed her most of all. She looked away from the colonel, pretending interest in the farm they were passing. At least she had the consolation that the colonel did not know what Bingley had meant to her.

With great care, Colonel Fitzwilliam said, “Darcy tells me there is a lady in the vicinity whom Bingley has found himself unable to forget, and whose acquaintance he intends to renew.”

“Does he?” The uncharacteristically angry words escaped Jane’s lips before she realized what had happened. “I wonder that any lady who had been abandoned so long would be willing to receive him again. I suppose he believes his fortune is enough to gain him forgiveness.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam did not appear to be disturbed by her outburst. In fact, he seemed to be smiling, or at least as much as he could while tunelessly whistling. “Many ladies would tolerate a great deal for a fortune such as his.”

She could not understand him. Was he laughing at her? She took care to speak in her normal, calm voice when she said, “Perhaps some might think it naïve of me, but I believe that true affection and respect are worth more than the largest income. Is something the matter, Colonel? You have gone quite pale.”

His pallor was belied by his expression as he beamed at her. “I am
quite
well, thank you! I am merely suffering from an unaccountable urge to spring the horses, but I will not subject you to that.”

Pleased to see him cheerful again, she said recklessly, “Why not? Is it too dangerous?”

He smiled broadly. “You do not
mind
if I spring the horses? It is not dangerous, at least not on such a good road. The horses are very well trained.”

“I cannot say if I will mind, as it is something far from my experience, but I will never know if I do not try it.” She could not understand what had happened to her normal reticence.

“In that case, you might wish to hold onto the rail.”

Obediently she leaned forward and gripped it with both hands. “Very well, you may do your worst, sir!”

He hesitated. “Will you tell me immediately if you find it at all unpleasant?” At her nod of agreement, he shook the reins. As the horses shifted in unison to a smooth canter, the curricle surged forward.

The wind whistled past Jane’s ears. It was an odd but exhilarating sensation to hurtle along at such a speed with no enclosing carriage. The countryside almost seemed to blur beside them, but her attention was captured by the colonel’s intent expression as he drove, shifting the reins slightly from time to time, the team responding instantly to his instructions. Despite their speed, she did not doubt his command of the situation.

He reined the horses in as they came up behind a plodding stagecoach, deftly veering around it and onto the clear road ahead at a trot. “Well?” he said. His hair was becomingly tousled and his expression was boyish.

“It might be a bit much for everyday, but there is something pleasing about it. You drive beautifully. I was not in the least bit frightened.”

His expression of satisfaction warmed her heart. He said, “Thank you. Darcy’s team is a pleasure to drive. I have none so fine. Actually, I do not own a team at all, just my horse, but he has bravely carried me through several battles, so I cannot complain.”

“Carrying you to safety seems of greater value than the ability to race along the highway in a fashionable equipage.”

“Ah, but the fashionable equipage is enjoyable, is it not? Still, one can live without it. Tell me, Miss Bennet, would
you
consider an offer from a gentleman with little to offer except his affection and respect?

Jane’s heart slammed against her ribs. She could not possibly have understood his question correctly. He was in love with her sister, and Lizzy had told her that the colonel needed to marry an heiress. How could he be offering for
her
? Or was her heart hearing only what she desired in a question that had been meant innocently? That must have been the case. The disappointment was bitter. It was exactly calculated to make her understand her own wishes, even though they were in vain.

But she intended to keep the colonel’s respect, so she put on the calm face she employed to disguise distress. “Is that a theoretical question, Colonel?”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “For the moment, yes. After all, your father has made
quite
clear his opinion of gentlemen who offer for his daughters without speaking to him first. Fortunately, I know precisely where to find him.”

Heat seemed to pour through her, and Jane was certain her cheeks must be scarlet. She looked down to hide the incredulous smile that insisted on showing itself. “But you hardly know me.”

“Do you recall the day we met, and you walked with me through the gardens to the wilderness beside your house? By the time we left that wilderness, I felt I had known you all my life. When we danced together at that assembly, I realized that I found more pleasure in one of your smiles than I could recall experiencing in a day spent with any other lady.” He paused, then began again, his voice rough. “Despite my profession, I am not a violent man. But when I learned Bingley intended to return to Hertfordshire, I wanted to run him through. That was when I first knew what it would cost me to see you married to another man.”

“Yet you were the one to tell me of his return.”

“Of course. I would not attempt to secure you under false pretenses. You deserve to know that you have a choice, especially since he has so much more to offer than I do.”

“I beg to differ.” And she looked up at him with her heart in her eyes.

***

They agreed to say nothing publicly until after Elizabeth and Darcy’s wedding, since to do so would be to draw attention away from the bride and groom. This delay would also give Colonel Fitzwilliam time to speak to Mr. Bennet. Jane had the further motive for secrecy of being somewhat reluctant to share her news with Elizabeth, whom she thought likely to question the colonel’s newfound devotion. Still, even if she could only hug the news to herself, she still considered herself the happiest woman alive.

Jane was glad of the decision when she saw the hubbub at Gracechurch Street. Elizabeth was making some hasty alterations to a silk dress of Mrs. Gardiner’s that was to serve as her wedding dress, while Mrs. Gardiner worked feverishly to create a celebratory atmosphere in the house, taking advantage of the plethora of flowers readily available at that time of year. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Gardiner were closeted in the study with Mr. Darcy’s solicitor, finalizing the marriage settlement. It had the appearance of a dumb play, since all this was done in near complete silence in order to keep any hint of stress from the invalid upstairs.

On hearing this, Jane immediately consulted with the colonel, fearing that the news of their engagement was likely to distress her father. “He is not likely to be pleased, given his sentiments toward your father. What if he suffers another heart seizure? I could never forgive myself.”

The colonel took her gloved hand in his. “If you wish me to wait, of course I will do so. I do not anticipate that our news will trouble him, though. He has been quite cordial to me here, and he is afraid of the future. He will be relieved to have your future settled, just as he wanted Miss Elizabeth’s settled as soon as possible. Also, he has been concerned about the effects of the scandal regarding your youngest sister, and to have a connection to an aristocratic family, impoverished or not, could do a great deal to ameliorate that.”

“But how can we be certain? He was so angry over Lizzy’s engagement, and he liked you no better than Darcy when you first appeared.”

“I believe you may be surprised. I propose that we visit him together so that you can see how he receives me, and if you are still uncomfortable, all you need do is to stay in the room. Unless you leave the room so that I may speak to him alone, I will assume you wish me to remain silent.”

Indeed, Mr. Bennet seemed pleased to see the colonel, and after a brief interchange of greetings with Jane and the usual questions regarding his recovery, he devoted most of his conversation to Colonel Fitzwilliam. “So, you found another excuse to visit Longbourn, did you, knowing I was safely abed in London?” If his expression was challenging, his amused tone belied it.

The colonel stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankle. “Of course. It is all part of my plan to subvert your entire family. Why, they almost sympathize with the French now! And
you
have taken advantage of
my
absence to torture my poor cousin Darcy.”

“Guilty as charged.” Mr. Bennet’s expression was more gleeful than guilty.

Richard shook his head with mock sadness. “So even now you remain unconvinced of his rectitude. What must he do to satisfy you?”

Mr. Bennet smirked. “Torturing your cousin is one of the few amusements left to me.”

“And he is so very easy to torture,” Richard agreed.

“That he is.” The two gentlemen shared an amused look.

After several more minutes of their bantering, Jane excused herself, saying her aunt would be requiring her assistance. When the colonel did not move, Mr. Bennet turned a keen look on him. “So, is this an official visit or an unofficial one?”

“Definitely official. A pity; I had hoped to catch you unawares.”

“I was not under the impression that you kept returning to Longbourn out of a desire to see
me
.”

“No; although it was rather entertaining to have had the opportunity to threaten to run you through.”

“So, are you asking my consent, my blessing, or something else entirely?”

The colonel gave a slow smile. “Neither, sir. I am
telling
you of my intentions. Miss Bennet is of age. You need not be involved at all, but since you objected so strenuously to poor Darcy announcing his engagement before speaking to you, I thought to save us all a scene by going at it the other way around.”

“How very considerate of you. Jane may be of age, but would she still agree to marry you against my wishes? She has not my Lizzy’s spirit.”

Richard was enough of a card player to recognize a bluff when he saw one. “I don’t know,” he said cordially. “Shall we ask her?”