Mulberry and Peach (25 page)

 

Last night I took too many sleeping pills, and had a nightmare. Now, I'm still dazed; I grope my way into the bathtub. As I sink down into the water, I become a new woman—my headache, all my pains vanish. All feelings of suspicion, fear, and guilt disappear. The water warms my whole body. I am translucent as the water.

It is wonderful to be alive. The elm, the rays of the sun and the squirrels outside the window are also alive. The water laps against my breasts. I suddenly discover they have grown a little: ripe and full, firm and supple, breasts men have fondled. I lightly rub my nipple
with my finger. My nipple quivers, then stiffens.

After getting out of the tub I open all the windows, doors, turn on the lights, the stereo and the TV. The whole world comes to me.

‘The commander of the space capsule for the moon landing requests that everyone, no matter who you are or where in the world you are, remain silent for one moment, to meditate on the events of the last few hours and in your own way express the gratitude in your heart . . . those words were just spoken by astronaut Aldrin on the surface of the moon. Now the astronauts are preparing for the moonwalk ...'

The astronauts are ready to descend. The singer on the record croons along merrily. Carrying a small overnight bag, Chiang I-po tiptoes through the open door of my apartment. There's a movie screen tucked under his arm. He closes the door gently. Braced in the doorway he stares at me without speaking. After a moment he says: ‘What's happened to you? You're not acting like yourself!'

‘Professor, what's happened to you?' I am standing naked in the middle of the room, right under the light, facing a painting on the wall: a large lion embracing a naked woman in its paws - the woman, her legs slightly bent, lies on her back looking up at the sky; the lion rubs her breast with his ear.

‘I'm fine. This morning, I went to church. In the afternoon I played tennis for a while and beat a young guy!'

‘I think there's something really wrong with you, Professor.'

‘What's that? I have a physical every July 7th on my birthday. My blood pressure and heart are both normal. Not only that, but this year when more mentally ill Chinese than ever are jumping off buildings committing suicide, here I am totally sane!'

‘What? There's a woman in front of you and you're sitting there talking about mental health? Isn't that a little bit weird?'

I-po laughs. ‘What's the hurry. Anyway, you won't escape from Monkey's grasp tonight!' He switches to English,
‘I've got a surprise for you.'
He points to the screen on the floor.

‘. . . Sea of Tranquility basecamp, Sea of Tranquility basecamp, this is Houston Control Center. Aldrin, please tell us, at this moment what is your exact position on the surface? . . .'

A police siren begins to shriek.

I-po switches off the TV and turns up the volume of the stereo. ‘We're Chinese. What do Americans on the moon have to do with us? Let's listen to Golden Voice sing. When I left the mainland she was really popular . . .'

He sings along in falsetto with Golden Voice as he sets up the screen. He takes the projector out of the bag and fishes around for the movie reel. He lowers his voice. ‘The only people who live in this apartment house are either widows or old maids. Every time I come to see you, I feel as if they are all watching me. As I was carrying this stuff up the back stairs I ran into your landlady. She looked at the stairs and then at what I was carrying. I felt foolish going on, but I couldn't turn around, so I just kept on walking toward your apartment with my back to her. When I turned around finally, I saw her standing in her doorway, glaring at me. Her TV was on and behind her on the screen I saw a close up of a black woman's face, her mouth wide open as if she were pleading for help, but there was no sound, the volume had been turned off. The landlady stood at her end of the corridor and I stood at the other end. She stared at me and I stared at the black woman who couldn't make a sound. Boy, that was weird. I suddenly started laughing and she waved and said, “Have a good time, Professor,” I took off my hat and replied, “Thank you, madam!” and strutted in here with these porn flicks.'

I pour him some gin and fix myself a Bloody Mary. Still naked, I sit next to him on the sofa. His eyes are riveted on the porn flick, and he doesn't notice that I am drinking. I have never drunk before. It is as if he doesn't know there is a naked woman by his side. The movie shows various positions for intercourse: two girls making love; two men making love; a man and a woman; and a group of men and women. I-po's body begins to stir and twitch. The Golden Voice is singing about a pair of phoenixes flying up to heaven.

The red light atop the police car flickers onto the window like blood splattering.

I-po's hands and mouth race over my body. I spill my Bloody Mary on myself. He licks my body with his tongue. “Hey, bloody woman, why are you drinking today?”

I struggle out of his embrace and throw the empty glass to the floor. I run into the bathroom and turn on the faucet in the tub. The night breeze blows in the window. I stretch out in the tub. I-po walks in naked. I wash him, touch him, kiss him, lick him. He bends over me; he is breathing hard. The cool water covers our bodies. He suddenly crawls out and runs into the next room. When he returns, he is wearing a rubber. I repeat my performance: touching him, kissing him, licking him . . .

He slips inside me.

‘I'm pregnant.'

He suddenly stops. ‘You're kidding.'

‘The doctor's already verified it.'

‘That's impossible. I always wear a rubber.'

‘Don't you remember? When we were in the tub, the rubber slipped. I pulled it out of my vagina but it was empty.'

‘You'll have to get an abortion immediately!'

‘That's illegal.'

‘You'll have to get an abortion immediately!'

‘The Immigration Service is investigating you.'

‘What for? I've been an American citizen for a long time!' He goes soft inside me.

‘They're investigating you because we committed adultery.' I tell him about the Immigration Service's questioning me.

‘It's better that we don't see each other.' He pulls himself out of my body.

‘You're lying on top of me right now, Professor!'

He laughs. ‘You are my weakness: I can't do without you!'

‘Then move in with me!'

‘I can't do that. Betty and I are Catholics. We can't get a divorce; I have to protect my teaching position. Anyway, I'm too used to my freedom. I must retain some
dignity
in front of my friends. You know I wouldn't do anything rash.'

‘I've decided to keep the child.'

‘No, that won't do,' he frowns. ‘You've got to get an abortion.' I grab his penis, and lightly rub it between my hands. ‘New York. You can go to New York for the abortion. New York's changed the law: abortion is legal there. I'll pay for everything: travel expenses, medical expenses, all your expenses in New York.'

His penis stiffens in my hands.

He lowers himself back into the water with a grunt.

I suddenly leap out of the tub. I-po, lying in the water, yells at me. ‘Hey, Mulberry, you can't leave. I'm about to come, I'm about to come! Mulberry!'

I turn on the T.V. The astronauts are speaking.

‘. . . I'm climbing down the ladder. The feet of the Eagle only sink one or two inches into the moon's surface. Getting closer, you can see that the moon's surface is made up of very fine dust, like powder, very, very fine. Now I'm going to leave the Eagle . . . That's one small step for man, one giant leap forward for mankind . . .' Armstrong, moving slowly one step at a time, explores the surface of the moon. He is hunched over like an exhausted ape man.

I mix another Bloody Mary and go back into the bathroom.

I-po is lying in the tub, his eyes closed, holding his penis, a soft, wrinkled lump.

 

The footsteps stop knock on my door. The landlady watched I-po walk into my room and secretly listened to I-po and me on the telephone. She's definitely the one who reported me to the Immigration Service. One evening I called I-po more than ten times I told him that I felt ashamed about the incident in the tub that evening, he's a good person I shouldn't torment him like that
-
I've decided to do as he said and go to New York to get an abortion, I shouldn't make problems for him I shouldn't leave proof of guilt for the Immigration Service, for the time being we won't see each other, then the Immigration Service can't accuse me of any more bad behaviour, not seeing him is a matter of life and death, I need him if I don't see him I will have nothing at all.

 

 

 

Fifty, sixty, seventy mph. The car goes faster and faster. Red lights, yellow lights, black mud, red barns, white centre line, green trees, blue cars, brown turkeys rush past. A summer breeze sweeps in the window. I feel renewed.

Snow floats in the little crystal paperweight, floating above the Great Wall. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Teng picks up the glass paperweight from the dashboard and shakes it vigorously a few times.

The snow floats up in the paperweight, drifts over the Great Wall again.

‘Where to?' I ask Teng.

‘Don't know.'

He picks up the paperweight again and shakes it vigorously.

I laugh. ‘Looks like you're mad at that paperweight.'

‘I'm mad at myself. I've been thinking. It took me the strength of nine bulls and two tigers to escape from the mainland to Taiwan, and the strength of nine more bulls and two more tigers to escape from there to America. Once in America, I scrubbed toilets as a janitor, waited on tables. I have only a few more months until I get my Ph.D. But once I get it, then what? Go back to Taiwan? I couldn't stand it! Go back to the mainland? I can't do that, either. Stay here? I'm nobody! Today I went to work at the university library. I was five minutes late. John Chang that son of a bitch bawled me out in English, yelling at me that I couldn't show up late, couldn't leave early, Chinese in America didn't come to pan for gold, everyone, no matter who, had to work hard. I said to him, “Hey, Chang, are you a Chinese? Speak in Chinese!” He pointed at me and said, “Just what are you?
You are fired
!” I walked out of there with my head held high, only saw him turn around and show the book of colour photos that just arrived,
Magnificent China
, to an American professor in the history department.
“It's a wonderful country, isn't it?”
As soon as I left the library I picked up an American girl.'