Mumnesia (10 page)

There’s a collective gasp and one of the
girls snorts with laughter.

‘What? No! I didn’t
wet
myself
!’ Megan protests.

‘It’s absolutely nothing to be
embarrassed
about.’ I smile. ‘These things
happen. Not that it’s ever happened to Lucy, but I’ve
heard it’s a perfectly normal part of growing up for many
girls.’ I glance at Lucy, who is grinning from ear to
ear.

‘I swear! I didn’t wet myself!’
Megan’s face has gone pinker than the limousine. She looks
round at everyone, panic in her eyes as they giggle at her.
‘
I didn’t!
’ she yells. ‘Someone
must’ve set me up!’

‘Now, Megan, really, who would do such a
thing?’ I reason. ‘Besides, everyone’s been in
the lounge together, except you and your BFFs . . .’

Megan rounds on her clones, doubt and fear
flickering across her face.

‘There was no need to
“accidentally” spill pizza sauce on your dress to get
me to wash it,’ I continue. ‘If you’d just told
the truth in the beginning, there’d only be one stain now,
not two.’

The giggles grow louder, and I find it hard to
keep a straight face as Megan opens and closes her mouth like a
beached goldfish. This is so much fun! ‘Hurry along,
everyone. The limo’s waiting. And be careful in
Lucy’s dress, now, won’t you, Megan? That’s
dry-clean only.’

Everyone bursts out laughing as they scuttle
outside, Megan following, red-faced. Lucy and I wave them off,
then close the door and high-five.

‘You –’ Lucy grins at me
– ‘are UBER-AMAZING! Did you see Megan’s face?
She’s
never
gonna live that down!’

‘I thought Megan
liked
wee
games?’ I wink.

Lucy laughs and I beam back at her. She looks so
much happier, plus she’s stopped trying to be part of the
Barbie-doll clique. Mission accomplished!

But will it be enough to de-stress Sharon?

‘Wow!’ I say when Shazza
finally
sits me down in the lounge and fills me in on what
she’s learned about her amnesia. ‘So
that’s
why you’re still here!’ I guess I
knew deep down it couldn’t really be magic . . . but now
I’m feeling worried – and more than a little guilty.
I mean, I knew Mum was stressed out – but could I have
prevented this? If we hadn’t had that big argument on
Sunday, would she have lost her memory?

‘And you really think Mum’s stressed out about
me
?’ I ask Shazza.

‘What else could it be?’ She shrugs from her perch
on the arm of the sofa. ‘Her life seems pretty cool to me
– lovely house, good job, great husband . . .’

I feel another stab of guilt.

‘. . . nice-
ish
daughter!’

‘Hey!’ I nudge her.

‘Just kidding,’ Shazza laughs. ‘So come on
then, what else can I do to make you happy? I’m your fairy
godmother, remember?’

‘Well . . . Zak’s finally noticed me and
I’ve discovered Megan’s not worth being friends
with,’ I begin, ‘but I really need to fix things with
Kimmy.’

‘You can borrow my magic wand if you like.’ Shazza
grins, handing me the phone.

As soon as Kimmy picks up I apologize for
not joining in with her goofy dance, and she apologizes for
calling me a bimbo. Then I tell her about Megan and she nearly
wets herself laughing! #Ironic

That’s one of the things I love about Kimmy. Make her
laugh, and all’s forgiven.

‘I can’t believe your mum
did
that!’
she giggles. ‘You’re right, she has changed –
she’s amazing!’

I grin.

‘But you know, if you are worried about her, I could
always ask my dad to pop round?’

‘Well . . .’ I open my mouth to tell her
everything, then suddenly stop myself. Kimmy’s dad is a
psychotherapist for social services . . . If they find out my
mother has the mind of a twelve-year-old, who knows what
they’ll do?

They might take her away. They might take
me
away. They
might send me to live with Dad and Irritating Ingrid!

‘Actually no, Mum’s fine,’ I fib. ‘I
think your dad was right, she’s just getting over the
divorce. You know, reinventing herself.’

‘I thought so,’ Kimmy says. ‘See. Nothing to
worry about!’

Nothing I can talk to Kimmy about anyway. Not till Mum’s
back to normal.

‘Sorted?’ Shazza asks hopefully
as I hang up.

‘Sorted.’ I smile.

‘Awesome!’ She jumps up and takes a bow.
‘Then my work here is done. Old-Shazza, I mean,
Sharon
, should be back by the morning! Which means
we’d better make the most of tonight! Come on – I
want to learn
all
the Just Dance moves!’

‘OK!’ I smile, but guilt still niggles in my
stomach. If stress is what caused Mum’s memory loss, was it
really about me? Or was it – more likely – about Dad
moving in with Irritating Ingrid? Something Shazza knows nothing
about!

Should I tell her?

#Dilemma

‘Lucy,
come on
!’ Shazza cries, tossing me
the Wii controller. ‘So many dance moves,
so little
time
!’

‘All right!’ I laugh, glancing at the clock as I
join her. It is late – and it’s not as if
there’s anything we can do about Dad, not tonight anyway.
Besides, maybe Shazza’s right. Maybe Mum
was
just
stressed out about me, and now I’m happy, everything will
go back to normal?

I guess we’ll find out in the morning.

‘Lucy! Wake
up!’ I shake her awake. ‘It’s Wednesday and
I’m still here!’

‘Huh? Shazza?’

‘Yes!’ I flop down on her bed.
‘It’s
me
! Not that I, like, don’t, like,
like
being here, but –’

‘There were far too many
likes
in
that sentence,’ Lucy moans. She is SO not a morning
person.

‘But it means you’re still not
happy!’ I accuse her. ‘How do we fix this?’

‘Shazza, I’m fine. Honestly.’
Lucy yawns, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. ‘Zak even
added me as a friend on TeenSpace last night and sent me a link
to the new Star-Gazers single. I’m happy!’

‘Then why am I still here?’ I frown.
‘Why was Sharon so stressed out?’

Lucy grimaces and pulls the duvet over her
head.

‘Come on! We have to look for
clues
!’

‘Later!’ she grumbles.

‘Fine.
I’ll
look.’ I
jump off the bed. But where? What would Nancy Drew do? Suddenly I
snap my fingers. ‘Lucy!’ I rip the covers off her and
she groans. ‘Where’s Sharon’s Filofax?
There’s bound to be a clue in there!’

‘Her
what
?’ Lucy squints up at
me.

‘You know – her organizer, her diary,
her contacts!’

‘You mean her
phone
? It’s all
on there.’

‘Really?’ I gasp. ‘Rad! So
where on earth is it?’ I hurry into the lounge, but the
room’s a total bombsite, with empty pizza boxes and sweet
wrappers strewn everywhere, and there’s no sign of the
dinky phone. Suddenly it starts ringing and a pizza box shudders
– awesome! It’s like the phone
knew
I was
searching for it! Is it
psychic
? I dig it out and stare at
the screen in surprise.

‘
Lucy?
’

‘What?’ She stumbles in, holding her
mobile as she pulls on her school uniform. ‘Why
didn’t you tell me what time it was? Kimmy’ll be here
soon!’

‘Sorry – but why are you calling
me?’ I ask, confused.

‘To help you find your phone,
numpty.’ Lucy yawns, hanging up.

‘Genius!’ I cry. ‘So how do I
find Sharon’s diary?’

Lucy takes the mobile and jabs at it. ‘OMG,
you’ve got five voicemails and six texts!’

‘Huh?’ It’s like she’s
speaking a foreign language.

‘Lots of messages,’ she explains.
‘Wait – who’s Sam?’

I shrug, ‘As if I’d know!
Duh!’

Lucy shows me the screen.

‘No way!’ I
cry. ‘I can’t meet someone I don’t even know!
Unless . . . d’you think he might know why Sharon’s
so stressed out?’

‘Too risky.’ Lucy shakes her head.
‘I’ll tell him no.’ Her fingers fly over the
screen.

‘Wait!’ I cry. ‘You’ve
got to show me how to do that!’

It takes a while to get the hang of
‘texting’, especially when the bogus machine keeps
guessing what I’m thinking – wrongly! But finally I
manage to text Sam, whoever he is, to say I’m not well.

‘What now?’ I ask. ‘We have to
find out what Sharon’s problem is.’

Lucy takes a deep breath. ‘Listen
–’

Suddenly the doorbell rings and she jumps up.
‘That’ll be Kimmy! I’ve gotta go!’

‘But we have to find clues!’ I
protest, hurrying after her.

‘We will –’ she nods, shoving
books into her backpack – ‘but I hove to go to
school! No one’s going to believe I’m ill again after
having a party last night!’

‘True.’ My heart sinks. ‘If
only Detective Dan was here – he’s great at working
out puzzles and always guesses the end of mysteries. That’s
it!’ I cry. ‘Let’s call him!’

‘No!’ Lucy says quickly. ‘We
can’t – we’re not allowed to ring Dad on
business trips cos he’s uber-busy and it’s
uber-expensive. But I’ll get home as soon as I can after
school and we’ll look for clues then, I promise.’

I sigh. ‘Pinky promise?’

‘Course.’ Lucy shakes my little
finger, hugs me, then hurries out of the room, leaving me feeling
as lost and clueless as ever.

Saved by the bell! I grab my coat and scarf,
feeling guiltier than ever for not telling Shazza the truth about
Dad. After all, I’m sure Kimmy was right: Mum’s
strange behaviour
must
be caused by stress about the
divorce – but I can’t drop a bombshell like that and
then rush off to school, can I? I’ll tell her as soon as I
get home, when I’ve got time to explain everything
properly.

‘Hi!’ Kimmy beams as I open the door.

‘Hi!’ I hug her. I’m so glad our fight is
over.

‘So, come on! Tell me everything!’ Her eyes gleam
as we start walking. ‘I want a complete blow-by-blow
re-enactment. What did Megan say? What did she do? Did the
Megabimbos stick up for her? Or were they too
embarrassed?’

‘Shh!’ I hiss as I spot them just ahead. Or
rather,
most
of them . . . ‘Weird. Where’s
Megan?’ I whisper, seeing only Nicole, Cara and Viv.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Megababes
without her.’

‘You mean they’re not
actually
joined at
the hip?’ Kimmy gasps. ‘It’s a medical
miracle!’

I laugh and she grins back. ‘So come on! Re-enactment!
Now!’ she demands.

I tell Kimmy all about it as we walk to school. Then, as we
arrive, a group of girls from the year below races up to us.
‘Lucy, is it
true
?’ one asks, her eyes lit up
with excitement. ‘Did Megan really
wet herself
at
your party?’

I frown. ‘How did you know?’

‘She
did
!’ The girls giggle. ‘OMG!
That’s, like, the best gossip
ever
!’

‘Are you talking about Megan?’ a lanky boy from
the year above asks.

‘Who else?’ says a short boy with a cruel smirk.
‘Everybody’s talking about it!’

Sure enough, suddenly I find myself in the middle of a
squealing crowd.

‘You should’ve seen Megan’s face!’

‘It was utterly priceless!’

‘I can’t believe she
deliberately
got pizza
sauce on her dress to cover it up!’

‘Lame.’

‘
So
lame!’

‘So
embarrassing
!’

‘
MEGA
-embarrassing!’

‘She will
never
live this down!’

‘I’ll never forget what your mum said,
Lucy!’ Freya laughs. ‘“
Don’t worry,
sweetie, everyone gets a little
over-excited
at parties
sometimes!
”’

‘Did you bring her dress to school today?’ Iris
from my class asks.

‘Um, no . . . I forgot,’ I fib. Shazza and I still
can’t figure out how to work the washing machine.
#DomesticFail

‘Uh-oh! She’ll have to be careful not to get too
excited
today then – otherwise she might run out of
school dresses!’ someone else quips.

Everyone bursts out laughing, but I start to feel a bit sick.
‘Maybe I should tell the truth?’ I whisper to
Kimmy.

‘No way,’ she hisses back. ‘Megan’s
just getting a taste of her own medicine. Besides, you know what
gossip’s like. It won’t last long.’

‘I’m SO glad it was Megan!’ Freya cries.

‘Me too!’ Iris agrees. ‘She’s always
making fun of my braces.’

‘And my lithp,’ adds a girl I don’t
know.

‘And my clumsiness . . . ouch!’ yelps a boy,
stubbing his toe and hobbling away.

I smile. Maybe Kimmy’s right, Megan does deserve it.
She’s spent years being mean to everyone else. She should
know how it feels!