Mundo Cruel (3 page)

Naldi

LA EDWIN

Aló?... Girl, you're finally answering the damn cell phone!... If it weren't for La Jorge, I wouldn't know what's going on with you. Girl . . . So, you've moved all over Santurce . . . Yup, Jorge told me. Honey, you never learn. And it's not because nobody tells you. Look, it's not easy to live with relatives . . . What? The one that's playing? La Yola, girl, beautiful . . . C'mon girl we're talking about La Yola. She looks great. The queen that does her make-up deserves a prize all for herself . . . It's fabulous, I haven't stopped listening to it. No, girl, I'm not giving it to you. Because you move more than a circus. Like you owed child support. You disappear and then it's a pain in the ass to find you . . . No, honey, no, don't insist. It's better if you bring me a CD, and not one of those cheap ones from Pitusa that screw up the stereo, and I'll burn it for you. No, I don't have a CD to burn it. What do you think I am, a millionaire? . . . Yes, girl, this has the one that's a hit right now, but you've got to listen to another one that's amazing. La Yola lives every word of it.

Ahá! . . . Listen, changing the subject, did La Edwin call you? . . . Yes, Edwin. The one who thinks she's a man. Honey, the one from the support group . . . That's weird because that little queen is calling everybody . . . Yeah, her, that's the one . . . Oh, I didn't know they called her that. You're bad, girl, bad, bad . . . Well, she called me last night, drr-unk out of her mind . . . Saying that he felt all alone, that for him it was difficult to deal with this shit, meaning gayness . . . I let her go on . . . So she could get it out of her system. Wait a second, I'm getting another call . . . Aló, aló. Aló, aló. How weird, they hung up . . . The thing is a man left her . . . Yeah, girl, she got involved with one of those lefty fupistas who plant bombs and want the ROTC out of the university . . . Yeah, girl, since they can't liberate the motherland, they're just going to liberate themselves sexually. The thing is that La Edwin fell for this little “Che Guevara” and she's got it bad . . . Well, lots of poetry, lots of rallies together, and gallery openings, but when it comes to you-know-what the big machetero can't even use his machete in the name of the Cuban Revolution . . . No, girl. That's not the problem. It's that the guy was and is straight. You know, these young guys nowadays who think they're all bisexual . . . Girl! Step outside the bars and find out what's going on in the world! The fupista told him that he loved him but in another way, that it wasn't physical . . . That's it, platonic . . . Me? Well I said to her: “Girl, the time of the Greeks is long gone, OK?” The comrade, which is how they call each other, got himself a girl comrade . . . Ah!!! But with her he could connect sexually and then he told La Edwin that he wanted to continue with him on the emotional level . . . No, girl, nothing whatsoever. Not even that. But don't interrupt me, I'll lose my train of thought . . . Just wait a minute. That's when I said to him: “But honey, don't you fuck?” La Edwin, with all that studying and college, was doing what all us beginners do, suffer . . . Ay, girl, wait, I'm almost finished. Besides, you're always late and if one day you manage to get there on time, your boss will fire you for the hell of it . . . Don't interrupt! Where was I? Ahá . . . La Edwin kept hanging out with this man of the people and you can already imagine them, with the futon on the floor, burning incense, playing protest music, candles, T-shirts saying “Peace for Vieques,” and writing poetry that doesn't rhyme. And how was La Edwin during all this? Fucking horny! And so the time passed and one day “Fidel” came home, gathered his things, and, girl, he left La Edwin for a rightwing Condado queen . . . Yes, girl, from Condado, and pro-statehood. I know!! They tell me La Edwin is so desperate that she even joined a gym. The poor thing told me the whole story on the verge of tears. The thing is I felt sad and mad at her at the same time and I said to her: “Girl, wake up, that's the way it is here. All queers are the same and you young ones want to change it all from one day to the next. Oh, bisexuality, oh, gay is a political identity, bulldykes and fags together all the time, but—get with it, honey—the world has been the world for a long time. And that's the way our world is.” He didn't say a word. Strange because he'd always have a fit if people called him fag or girl. Then he said the part that bothered him the most was all that wasted energy . . . You know he talks that way. Waste? Waste? Girl, you don't know what waste is. But, I'm going to tell you. 1985. Seven. Not one, not two. Seven of my best friends including my lover—and no more and no less than eight months of being in a relationship—all died! Pum, pum, pum! One after the other. That, honey, is what I call a waste. So, girl, stop with all these experiments and nonsense and accept what you are. Q ueer. Q-U-E-E-R. You're a queer. 100% Pato. Q ueer as a queer duck. That's it. You know I tell it like it is. It's not for nothing that I'm still here. That is, me and la Yola, who's the only one who understands me . . . Yeah, I know. You gotta go. Call me, whenever . . . you damn bitch. No, you bring me the CD . . . I said no, girl. Bye.

Aló? . . . Yo girl, tanto time! . . . Hey listen, did La Edwin call you? . . . The one who thinks he's so manly . . . Girl, yes, the baby of the group . . . How weird because he's been calling everybody . . .

JUNITO

Yo, Junito. What's up? How are you, bro? . . . You know, still hanging in there. Tomorrow I'm leaving, you know, and this guy from La Colectora wants to buy my car and I told him I couldn't give it to him until today, but he wanted to check it out with his brother-in-law who's a mechanic. On foot bro, how else? I'm going over to the old lady's house to say good-bye and pick up some things that she wants to send to my brother. It's been years since I've taken one of these buses. Which is the one you take to Parada 26? Ah, okay, thanks, it's seventy-five cents, right? So tell me, man, what's up? Hell, it must be at least a year since we talked. You know how it is. You fool around too much, then you get married and you gotta work and all that shit and, bro, there's no more time for anything. You better believe it, bro, that's why I'm out of here. It's all one big pain in the ass, and bringing up kids here, man, forget it. Yeah, two boys, the oldest is ten and the other one's nine . . . No way, she had the operation. I signed the consent. You know, things are tough and you can't keep having kids. We wanted a girl to have the little pair of 'em, you know? But instead we got another boy. It's okay, this way they can keep each other company, and, you know, defend each other . . .

No, not New York, no. We're going to Boston. I mean, it's above Boston. See my brother, Samuel, the oldest, the darker one, works in a factory there and they need people. He talked to the boss, and so that's where I'm going. I'm going ahead and later, once I score an apartment, I'll send for my wife and the boys. She's happy about it, the boys are the ones who are afraid because of English and all that, but you'll see, they'll learn fast . . . Me, I talk pollito chicken, you know, Spanglish, but I get by. If they talk to me slow I can follow, but when they start talking fast with all that guachulín, man, that's where they lose me. But, you know, in the factory there are lots of Latinos, besides everybody there speaks Spanish. Even in the stores, Samuel says.

And how about you, bro? Going to work? That's good. You studied and got a nice little job with the government, man, that's cool. Today those are the steadiest and you don't have to work yourself to death either . . . Yeah bro, nice and easy . . .

Junito, listen, sorry for saying this, but really, bro, if I was you I'd get the hell out of here. You know what I mean. People fuck with you here and they stick their nose in your business. I mean you, well educated and all, should blow this place. Man, I see things, and I know people, the ones who stand on corners and fuck with you. Junito this, Junito that. Just the day before yesterday, some jerk there at the rotary was talking shit about you and I said to him, bro, leave him alone, he hasn't done nothing to you, and then they started fucking with me, asking am I your husband, am I a trick, and me, man, I told them to go to hell and I went home real mad. Listen, leave people alone, if that's the way they are then fuck everybody else, as long as they treat me with respect, no problem. Besides, people got sons and you never know how they're going to turn out. That's why I'm telling you, Junito, leave here, man. Listen, the other day I was taking a walk around the Condado and, man, there were a lot of them there. I mean, there were some that were real
built, you always notice something a little weird, but, man, there were guys who looked real good, you know. It looks like they all move to the same area and so it's easier for them to meet each other there. Yeah, you should go there.

But for Christ's sake, Junito, your mom made her life, you have to go out on your own. Besides, you have more brothers and they can share the work taking care of her. Don't screw yourself out of pity, man, you've got to live your own life.

I'm talking to you like this, man, because I'm sure of what I am. You know I don't like that whole scene, but I believe in live and let live. I mean, bro, things change; this is a different world. Do you get cable? They show lots of things, I mean, like, on Showtime they even kiss each other and everything.

One sec, Junito . . . Yo, Cristobal, hey baby, you know you're mine. Tomorrow's the day. No, my little brother is taking me to the airport . . . yeah, to Boston. No, man, to stay. Anyway, I'll come down later to say good-bye to the boys. Ok, see you there. Take care.

Nothing to be afraid of, we always fuck around like that . . . So yeah, man. Ah yeah, so they kiss and everything, and they look normal. If you saw them on the street you wouldn't think they belong to the other team. It's just that on the outside there's more freedom for that kinda thing . . . I think they even get married . . . and have kids and everything.

I remember, bro, when we were kids, you know, I'd fuck with you a lot. 'Cause I was ignorant, man. Repeating the same shit everyone else said, but look, you ended up better than all of us and the ones that give you a hard time nowadays it's because they're jealous.

You wonder why I know so much about all this shit, man . . . Keep this to yourself, bro, I'm gonna tell you something I never told nobody . . . See, my youngest boy, well, he's just like you. I'm telling you, ever since he was real little I'd watch him and watch him and, pam! You know what I mean . . . At first that shit bothered me like crazy . . . he's my son and I know that people like him suffer a lot . . . I'm telling you, Junito, I'll kill the motherfucker who says anything to my son. One day the older kid started saying shit to him and I stopped him. This is your brother and you and him got the same blood. If I catch you calling him faggot again I'm going to break your face, you heard me? It's not easy, you know, you can't know for sure, but I got a hunch . . . His mother doesn't say nothing about it, we don't talk about it, but I know she knows.

One day I heard her talking with a sister of hers, the chubbiest of the three of them, who's married to the Holsum guy. That one . . . well that bitch told my wife that the little one's like that because she wanted to have a girl so bad when she was pregnant with him. That she should put him in Boy Scouts or karate and shit like that so he realizes he's a dude. And by the way, it's not that the kid acts like a girl or nothing like that; it's just that he's different. He's, I don't know how to put it . . . Well, that's why I'm going, man. Things are bad here but not that bad, you know, I mean you can get by here. But I want the kid to grow up in a real good place, so that if he really is gonna end up that way, well, he can at least be himself . . . It's not easy, Junito, but he's my son and I fucking love that little jerk. I'm leaving all this, man, because if not, I'm gonna go to jail because the first motherfucker that fucks with him I'm gonna kill the bastard, I swear.

I watch him go off to school, and I know he's thinking it, I just know it, man, he doesn't say nothing, but I know. I mean, you can't be overprotective with your children, but you gotta do what you can, know what I mean.

But maybe not . . . There are guys that seem that way and they aren't necessarily like that . . . .

Just a sec, Junito. Hey, what's up!? That's it! Tomorrow's the day. No, it's cool, I'll take the bus. The driver is pulling up right now. No, it's cool. Good luck!

That motherfucker who just said hello, I can't stand him, bro . . . Be careful with that one, he's a piece of shit that motherfucker . . . he cheats on his wife with guys who dress up like women at Parada 15 and he robs them blind . . . he beats them up and leaves them there . . . Everybody in the hood knows about it . . . abusive asshole and his poor wife's a fucking mess . . . And she was such a pretty girl . . . she even studied modeling and all that. Got involved with that shithead and fucked up her life . . . Me who never even tried to date her. I always said, that one, she's gonna marry some doctor or lawyer or someone like that. And look what happened: she got involved with that creep . . . One of those guys who cross-dresses tried to report him when he got beat up but he was the one who got screwed . . . the police even spit on him and all that when they took him to the police station . . . but that motherfucker will get his one of these days. I hope he runs into the wrong guy and gets what's coming to him, that'll put an end to his shit. I'm sorry, but people like that just piss me off, I can't stand the wife-beaters. I don't deny that sometimes I just look away when it comes to that shit but man, there's too many abusive shitheads out there.

Well, bro, here comes my bus. Take good care and go to the States or move to Condado . . . my wife will give you my address . . . if you decide to come up to Boston. And don't worry because if anyone knows I'm all man it's her . . . so get the address from her. So you can get away from all this.