Murder At The Mikvah (36 page)

Peter's lips trembled. “I hate him! I hate him!”

“Peter, listen to me! Whose old boyfriend is he?”

Peter burrowing his head between his knees as if trying to hide. He began rocking back and forth, crying hysterically.

“Whose old boyfriend is he, Peter?” Lewis pushed.

Peter had stopped moving. He peeked his head out like a turtle coming out of its shell. And now, it was no longer a grown man Lewis saw, but a frightened little boy.

“Momma's!”

Thirty minutes later, the guard came in to return Peter to his cell. Lewis leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head, staring at the video equipment. It was moments like these that he was immensely grateful for technology. He closed his eyes and exhaled, still amazed at what he had just witnessed, what had been documented in it's entirety on video tape. Without the recording, he doubted the detective—or anyone else for that matter—would believe it; he was having a hard time swallowing it himself. He would review the tape later, perhaps even consult with a few of his colleagues. Lewis understood there would need to be an investigation to validate Peter’s claims before anything got out; but as far as publication went, there was no rush. This case was so sensational, it was practically
screaming
to be memorialized in print.

Assuming the facts checked out, the case of Peter Stem just might be one of the most dramatic examples of posttraumatic stress Lewis had ever seen. Who would have ever guessed that Peter was simply a man with a tragic past? So he happened to have a bit of voyeurism in him—what man didn't? Sadly, it was his voyeurism that triggered the event. Seeing that man—whoever he was—in the mikvah parking lot reminded Peter of someone from his past, someone who had harmed his mother. Without a doubt, the tape would help exonerate Peter. Unfortunately it still wouldn’t answer the question of who attacked two innocent women.

 Forty-nine

From her position at the sink, Judith watched as Lauren trudged around the backyard with Yitzi and David. The boys were bundled up in hand-me-down snowsuits, David in Eli’s old pants, which fit him perfectly, while Yitzi swam in David’s bib overalls. Lauren had done her best to roll up the bottoms, but they continued to unravel and drag in the slush. There was less than two inches on the ground, and the rising temperature and rain forecasted for that evening would surely liquefy any snowman they managed to build. Still, they persisted happily, taking occasional breaks from their efforts to pound each other with watery snowballs.

“She’s great with them, isn’t she?”

Judith spun around, “Yehuda! I didn’t hear you! How long have you been standing there?”

Yehuda gave his mother a peck on the cheek. “I just walked in a minute ago.”

She recoiled at his touch. “You're freezing! Let me get you some tea.” She promptly filled the kettle and placed it on the stove. “Roads okay?”

“Fine.”

“And Hannah?”

Yehuda smiled. “Great.”

Judith studied her son’s face. He looked refreshed, genuinely happy.

“Dr. Patel says her vitals are stronger than ever,” he said, “and the fact that she’s been stable for this long is an excellent sign.”

Judith sighed. “Are you're sure he knows what he’s talking about?”

Yehuda’s smile fell away. “Mom…”

She shrugged. “I just wonder how competent he is, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?”

“For starters, he’s impossible to track down, and then he doesn’t have anything new to say about Hannah’s condition anyway.”

“Maybe if you didn’t call him so much, he’d have more to tell you,” Yehuda said. He regretted giving Dr. Patel permission to keep his mother updated; with all the upheaval he hadn't considered her general tendency to be a nuisance. “Besides, I’ve never had a problem reaching him; and when he’s not at the hospital his service has him call me right back…”

“That’s my point!” Judith interrupted, clapping each word. “Why should you have to speak to his answering service at all? If you ask me, he should have given you his cell phone number!”

“The man is entitled to a private life, Mom.”

“Oh really? Even when people are counting on him? When actual lives are on the line?” She placed her hands on her hips and stood taller. “I wouldn't
dream
of doing that to one of my clients!”

“Well, maybe you
should
,” Yehuda snapped.

She stared at him, surprised at his tone. “My clients need me, Yehuda,” she said calmly. “They have the right to reach me without the aid of a third party.”

Yehuda sighed. “But at such a high cost…”

“I’m worth every penny,” she said immediately.

“You know what I mean.”

She shrugged and turned away from him.

He placed a hand on each of her shoulders, coaxing her to turn and face him. “Do you have any idea how stubborn and opinionated you are?” he asked.

She turned away from him. “I have high standards. Is that such a bad thing?”

“Only when it keeps you apart from others,” he said.

“I'm here now, aren't I? I promised the kids I would stay an extra day and that's what I intend to do!”

“Yes… and I thank you for that. But…”

“But
what
?” she pushed.

“What happens when this is all over?”

All over.
In one way or another, Judith knew, it would be all over.
Would Hannah pull through or would Yehuda find a replacement?
She pulled away from him. “I have responsibilities to my clients, Yehuda.”

“Yes, but you also have a family who loves you. The kids deserve to see more of you. Visiting four times a year just isn't acceptable anymore.”

Judith walked to the window and gazed out. Lauren and Yitzi were on their backs making snow angels. Judith felt a lump in her throat. “And you're just realizing this now?” she asked, her back to him.

“I think I've always known it,” Yehuda said. “I just didn’t say anything before—out of respect for you.” He sighed. “I was wrong. I should have spoken up sooner.”

She turned to face him. “So what am I supposed to do?” she asked, a look of exasperation on her face, “roll around in the slush like
her
? Will that satisfy you?”

“Mom….”

“I'm not twenty anymore Yehuda. I can't do certain things…”

Yehuda held up his hand. “I'm not asking you to … ”

Judith looked out the window again, hugging herself tightly. “Good, because you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to be that age again… such stupidity!”

Yehuda didn’t understand any of her ranting. “Mom, please, just listen to what I'm telling you.”

Judith hadn't said anything about it before—partly because she was ashamed that she hadn't known about her grandkids' problems. But now, suddenly, she was determined to see Lauren removed from the house. If only Yehuda could see through her facade! She swung around to face her son. “Do you know what she told me?”

“Do I know what
who
told you?”

“
Lauren
!” Judith spewed. “You know—the one who’s so
great with the kids
… as you, yourself put it.”

Yehuda didn’t say a word. He just stared at her, completely perplexed.

“That girl,” Judith continued, pointing toward the window, “had the
audacity
to tell me… to tell me I didn’t know my own grandchildren!” Somehow the words didn’t
sound
as terrible as they felt.

Yehuda shoved his hands in his pockets. “I see.”

Judith waited, palms out, but he said nothing more. What happened to the respect he just talked about a second ago? Why didn’t he seem offended at Lauren’s slight? Why wasn’t he at least disputing what she had said? Judith rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm herself from the sudden chill in the air as she remembered Yehuda’s reaction when that man—Jonathon—had called for Lauren.
I'll let him know it won't work out for the two of you.

“Well?” Judith's voice cracked. “Can you believe her nerve? Speaking to me so disrespectfully!”

He sighed, but said nothing.

She threw her arms up in exasperation. “Don't tell me!… No!… I can’t believe it! You
agree
with her!”

He didn’t say a word.

“Is this because I didn’t know where the kids school was? Look, you know how busy I am, Yehuda! I can’t be expected to know as much about them as someone who…”

“As someone who spends as much time with them as Lauren does?” Yehuda said, suddenly finding his voice.

Judith felt a lump in her throat. She couldn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe he was favoring Lauren—practically a
stranger
—to his own mother!

“Lauren’s not your wife, Yehuda!” Judith shouted.

Yehuda narrowed his eyes. “My wife?”

“That’s right! In fact, somebody should remind that girl that she's a paid employee for God's sake!”

Yehuda shook his head. “Technically, she's a volunteer.”

“What?”

“Lauren's refused to take a cent from me.”

Judith crinkled her forehead. “And you don't find it
odd
that she would work for nothing? You don’t question her
motives
?”

“
Motives
?” Yehuda parroted. “What motives? Lauren's been a lifesaver for us! The kids love her. I can't say enough about how much she's helped them get through this…”

“Well, it’s obvious you're in complete
denial
!” Judith mumbled.

Yehuda sighed. “I don’t know what kind of crazy ideas you're getting about Lauren, but they're
wrong
.”

Judith turned away. Obviously Yehuda was blind to the reality of the situation. Or maybe he wasn’t. Maybe something was going on between the two of them! Suddenly, Judith felt like she might be sick. “I don't feel well,” she said. “I have to go… I need some fresh air.” She moved toward the front door, but Yehuda followed close behind.

“Where, exactly, are you going?”

“Where I can think,” she said, grabbing her coat and bag from the closet.

“Mom, wait… sit down, I want to talk to you.”

“There's nothing more to talk about. Everything's been said.”

Yehuda sighed. “Fortunate is the generation in which the elders listen to the youth.”

She stared at him blankly.

“It's from the
Talmud
,” he said.

“Figures,” Judith said. She walked to the door and put her hand on the knob just as the teakettle whistled from the kitchen.

“Let me guess, I’m the elder and Lauren is the youth.”

 Fifty

It was odd that as Lewis made his way down the township building steps, he thought more about the burden carried by Ron Smith, than the revelations that had come out of his session with Peter Stem. The news that Peter Stem was likely
not
guilty of the crimes for which he was being held meant freedom for an innocent man, yet would require from Ron a considerable amount of time and attention—attention that should have been directed toward his father who needed to settle, ASAP, into his new facility in Florida.

“Can I give you a lift?”

Lewis was surprised to see Judith Orenstein parked in front of the building. With a flick of her fingers, and before he could answer, she unlocked the Jaguar’s doors.

“Hop in,” she said, tossing her briefcase onto the back seat. “It’s going to start pouring any second.”

As if on cue, there was a crack of thunder. Judith immediately thought of Yitzi and David and hoped they were safe and dry inside. Lauren, on the other hand could be locked out of the house in a torrential down pour as far as she was concerned.

“Look at that! You certainly have perfect timing Judith!” Lewis ducked inside and settled himself in the passenger seat. “I didn’t realize there would be a storm today,” he said, unbuttoning the collar of his coat.

With a gloved hand, she flipped on the windshield wipers. “Well, I’m glad
someone
appreciates me,” she mumbled under her breath.

“What were you doing here anyway?” Lewis asked.

“If you must know, I was on my way to the expressway. As luck would have it, I was driving by just as you were coming out of the township building… When I saw you, I just
knew
I had to pull over.” Judith felt her face flush. Was it her imagination or did she just sound like someone with a schoolgirl crush? She cleared her throat. “I thought it would be a good opportunity to apologize again for my atrocious behavior. Call me old fashioned, but e-mails just don't hold the same weight.”

“That's very kind,” Lewis said, “but there's no need. What's done is done; it's all in the past.”

Outside, a man in an overcoat rushed by, fighting to keep a grip on his umbrella.

“You had business in the township building?” Judith asked, gesturing that way.

“Business? Well, in a way,
yes
,” he said. “I was working with Peter Stem.”

Judith raised her eyebrows. “Really? And you weren't concerned?”

“
Concerned
?”

“That he might attack you.”

“No; that possibility never occurred to me. Probably because there was a guard posted right outside the door.”

“So, what did you find out? Is he just your typical nut job?” Judith asked, contempt in her voice.

Lewis sighed. “I don't like to refer to anyone that way Judith. And as far as what I found… well, it's all confidential. Certainly you can understand that.”

Judith tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She liked a man who wasn’t intimidated by her. Lewis was direct, he gave it to her straight. “Understood,” she said.

They sat in silence, listening to the rain patter against the windshield. Lewis expected Judith to start the engine at any moment, but the minutes continued to pass.

“Aren't you going to ask why I was headed toward the expressway?” she finally said.

He closed his eyes and leaned back. “Do you
want
me to ask you?”

She looked at her hands. “I was heading back to New York.”

“I see.”

She lifted her eyebrows suggestively. “Aren't you going to ask me
why
I was heading back to New York?”

They stared at each for a few seconds before he burst out laughing.

“What's so funny?” she demanded.

He opened his eyes, sat up, and threw out his arms. “I don't know what you want from me, Judith! The last time I started questioning you, you nearly punched me!”

Her impulse would have been to feel insulted, or at the very least
slighted
, but she didn’t. Instead, she felt a wave of sadness wash over her. “I don't know, Lewis. I just don’t know.”

He was struck by the change in her voice. It was softer, vulnerable.

A fat tear skipped down her cheek. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happening to me… I don't know what I want.”

Lewis pulled a tissue out of his pocket and gently wiped away her tear. The gesture touched something inside her. A stream of tears fell from her eyes just as the sky opened and water slammed onto the windshield. Within seconds the rain was so heavy, they couldn’t see out in front of them. It was like being in the middle of a carwash. He instinctively reached for her and she leaned in to him.

“Shhh. It's all right. Everything will be all right,” he said, stroking her head. She felt like a child being soothed by a loving parent. Her eyes fluttered.

Ten minutes later she awoke with a start. “How long was I asleep?”

“Not very long,” he said. “Do you feel better?”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

He waited.

“I don't know where I belong anymore,” she said.

“You belong with your
family
, Judith.”

She rubbed her forehead. “I've messed up, Lewis. I've been a terrible mother… a terrible grandmother…”

“Come now, Judith; do you really believe that?”

“I didn’t always,” she sniffed, “but now… I think I do.”

He waited while she dabbed her eyes.

“I had a fight with Yehuda… You're going to think this is crazy Lewis, but I think he's falling for Lauren.”

The statement
did
sound a bit crazy. Maybe the stress of Hannah's hospitalization was affecting her more than anyone realized. Lewis sat up and shook his head. “Judith…”

But she cut him off. “No, honestly, you should see the way they look at each other. I'm positive there's something going on between them! Sometimes they even speak to one another in private code.”

“Judith, trust me, you're
wrong
. Yehuda would
never
!… He's a committed family man. He loves Hannah.”

“If love was enough, I wouldn’t have been a single mother!”

“Yehuda's different,” Lewis said. “You raised him to be a good man. He would never do to Hannah what your husband did to you. Not all men are like that.”

“Oh, so I can assume adultery played no part whatsoever in you and your wife splitting up?”

“
Splitting up
?”

She shrugged. “Your wife's never with you when you visit, so naturally I assumed you were divorced.”

“Divorced? No, Judith, I'm not divorced.”

“Separated?”

“Try again.”

She closed her eyes tightly, shutting out the one remaining possibility. “Oh God. I'm so sorry Lewis…
When?
… When did it happen?”

“A long time ago,” Lewis said. “Elise was eight.”

Younger than Rachel
, Judith thought.

“Drunk driver.”

“I'm so sorry…”

“It was November 1st, 1979; so long ago, yet I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Thursday night. I had a professional dinner at the Copley Hotel. Who the hell schedules a professional dinner on a
Thursday
night? The thing is, Iris—my wife—didn’t want to go. God knows I dragged her to enough of those things over the years! That night she was feeling run down. She had been out trick or treating with Elise the night before.” Lewis paused, as if recapturing a private memory. “Elise went as a Smurf…” He smiled and looked into Judith's eyes. “Iris was a wonderful woman. You would have liked her, Judith.
Everyone
liked Iris! She was a great mother. You know, one of these parents who always volunteers to bake cupcakes or help with the school play… she even sewed Elise's Smurf costume herself.”

Judith fought off an image of Lauren fixing the boys' Chanukah play costumes.

“Iris was a Brownie
troop leader too,” Lewis continued. “They were getting ready for their big weekend camp out. Poor Iris was exhausted from all the planning. But stubborn me, I wouldn’t let up! I just kept nagging her about how important the dinner was.” He sighed. “The truth was I didn’t even know who the speaker was that night, but I told her to take a couple of aspirins and she’d feel better.” Lewis shook his head remorsefully. “She should have gone straight to bed and either I went alone, or not at all. But that’s not what happened. Like the trooper that she was, she took the aspirin, got dressed and we went. She was uncomfortable the whole night—glassy eyed, her head was pounding. The aspirin hadn’t helped at all. By the end of the main course she was burning up. It was obvious she was more than just a bit rundown and should have never been out to begin with.”

Lewis’s regret was palpable.

“You know what they say, Lewis,
hindsight is 20/20
,” Judith said, though she doubted it would help.

But it was obvious he wasn’t finished. Judith wasn’t sure if he felt obligated to tell her the entire story, or if it was simply a relief to let it all out. She wondered if psychiatrists ever sought the counsel of other psychiatrists. Something was telling her in this case at least, Lewis had not.

“We left before dessert and Iris fell asleep in the passenger seat,” Lewis continued. “I remember looking at her all curled up, feeling terribly guilty and thinking that I would make it up to her. There was a cruise she had her heart set on. For months she had been showing me pictures of the ship, and the islands it stopped at—Puerto Rico, Bermuda… but I kept putting her off—I was too busy with work, I said.
It was always about the work.
Looking back, she was probably doing it for me. She knew I needed a vacation. I should have never put it off—should have never put
her
off. We never know how much time we have with those we love.… The guy—the drunk driver—he came right at me. It all happened so fast, yet everything seemed to be happening frame by frame, in slow motion. He was driving on the wrong side of the road without his headlights on… coming straight at me! I veered and he side swiped me on the passenger side.” Lewis snapped his fingers. “And then, just like that, my Iris was gone.”

“I'm so sorry, Lewis…” Judith took a deep breath, willing herself to find the right words. “You must forgive yourself and focus on what you and Iris had for so many years… the love you shared. The wonderful marriage that would be continuing today if she were…”

Lewis nodded. He recognized the sincerity in Judith’s eyes and appreciated what she was trying to do.

“Not everyone is as fortunate as you and Iris,” Judith continued. “Most people never experience that kind of love and commitment. Trust me, in my work I've seen plenty of the opposite.” She shook her head. “I guess some of us spend too much time screwing up our lives—making mistakes that can't be fixed.”

“The only mistake you made was choosing a man not worthy of you,” Lewis said pointedly. His words, though impassioned, seemed to come out of nowhere and left Judith speechless. With her last remark, she had actually been referring to her relationship with Yehuda and the kids. But before she could clarify this point, Lewis had taken her hand and was now looking directly into her eyes. “Your life is far from over, Judith. You mustn't let your bad marriage taint the way you feel about men. There are plenty of decent ones out there. Men who aren't afraid of love. Men who know how to treat a woman.”

Judith's heart skipped at the word
woman
. Is that how he saw her? As a
woman
? Judith was so busy running around being a strong voice for so many
other
women, she couldn’t remember the last time she thought of herself this way.

Really? Show me one decent man besides my son.
This might have been her witty,
Judith Orenstein style
comeback line, had the answer not been staring her squarely in the face.