Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (29 page)

“
Or did Trevor kill his brother to pave the way for him to move in on Maye?” Jack asked.

“
They charged Brick Lynch with the murder, but he got off because the judge said the prosecution’s witness couldn’t be believed. Is that right?” Tess asked.

“
Yep, I do remember Mama sayin’ he was slipperier than snot on a doorknob. Mama thinks he got off twice because money greased the palms of a certain governor and a judge.”

“
Does she think Brick Lynch killed her father?”

“
Tessie, I just don’t rightly know for sure.”

“
Do you know if he still has any relatives living in town?” Jack asked.

“
I don’t know of any Lynch folk in town.” Martha Maye ran her hand up and down Ezzie’s back.

“
Wouldn’t necessarily have to be a Lynch. If he had a daughter, she’d have her husband’s name, and the kids would have a different name, too,” Jack pointed out.

“
If the chest is in your mother’s attic, why don’t we give the key a try?” Tess asked.

“
Well, I don’t see what good it would do. Mama said they got a
replacement key and didn’t find anything unusual in that trunk.”

“
At least we’d know we had the right trunk.” Tess put the newspaper clippings back in the Ziploc bag.

“
I guess it’s a possibility, if y’all are bound and determined, but it’d have to be sometime when Mama’s not home, and usually when she ain’t home, I’m busier than a moth in a mitten. I’ll have to call ya sometime when it suits. Meantime, I’ll ask around ‘bout any relatives of Lynch.”

Jack
had slipped his hand underneath Tess’s hair and was lightly massaging her neck, with his fingertips.

 
“Ohhh
.
Oh-kay, Martha, we’ll just play it by ear,” Tess said, trying to cover her near moan. Jack coughed and left his fist over his mouth to cover a guilty smile.

Martha
Maye gathered up the clippings. “Well, I ‘spect I should be goin’ now.”

“
Jack, your clothes should be dry now. Why don’t you change back into them and give Martha Maye a ride home? It would be silly for her to walk, since you’re both going to practically the same place.” His stare unnerved her, and she added, “And since it’s so hot out there.”
Because it’s way too hot in here.

Jack
pursed his lips, but he reluctantly agreed.

“
That’d by mighty kind a you, Jack. My daddy would turn in his grave if he knew I was out this late by myself. He used to say ain’t
nobody out at this time a night but burglars and bad women.”

While
Jack was gone to get his clothes, Martha Maye looked down at Ezzie, who’d worked herself halfway up onto her lap. “She’s not much of a guard dog.”

“
Isn’t that the truth! But Jack said it makes him feel better to know that at least she’ll bark if someone should try to come into the house again. I’m sure your mother told you about the recent break-ins.”

“
She did. Aren’t you afraid to stay here by yourself with nothin’ more than a sloth on feet for protection? A sweet sloth, but still a sloth.” She smiled down at the dog and rubbed her ears.

As
if on cue, Ezzie lifted her head, sent her nose up in the air, and let out a big howl.

“
It’s just me, Ez,” Jack said, coming back into the room.

“
It’s time we get on home, Jackson, if ya don’t mind.” Martha Maye got to her feet.

Tess
and Ezzie walked them to the door. “Thanks for coming over, Martha Maye. We’ll talk again soon.”

They
walked onto the porch, and Martha Maye said, “Okay, you two, I’ma gwon over’t the car and let you say your goodnights.”

“
Oh, Martha Maye, you don’t have to—”

“
Speak for your cotton-pickin’ self, blabbermouth,” Jack interrupted, pinching a bit of Tess's shirt and pulling her back toward him.

Martha
bustled down the steps, and Jack reached for Tess’s waist, pulling her into him. “Next time can we pick up where we left off?”

Tess
smiled and propped her arms on Jack’s shoulders, her hands playing with the hair at the base of his neck. “Possibly,” she said, coyly.

“
I can take Martha Maye home and be right back, ya know.” He kissed her cheek, about a millimeter away from her lips.

“
Jack . . . “

“
Don’t tell me this was a mistake.” He kissed just under her ear.

“
I wasn’t going to. And I’m not trying to be a tease. I just think we should take things slowly.”

Jack
finally found Tess’s lips.

And
then Martha Maye screamed.

dootche
r:  verb \doo-tchur\ a reprimand, do what your
Dootcher mama says.

[ 
1937  ]

“You’ve ate that chicken till it’s slick as a ribbon, Psalmist David,” Maye teased her little brother.

“
And it’s so good I can hardly keep my toes still. You make the best fried chicken in seven counties, Mayepie.”

“
Mama, what’s slick as a ribbon mean?” asked Louetta.

“
Means he ate all the meat clean off the bone, leavin’ it slick—see here?” she held a bone up to show her daughter.

“
Mama, kin I take baby Johnny out and walk him?” Ima Jean wanted to know.

“
How ‘bout you clear the table first?” Maye responded.

“
But Mama . . . “

“Dootcher mama says now, Ima Jean,” P.D. admonished.

“
Quick! Let me hold him before she comes back to collect him,” Maye said as soon as her daughter left the room with an arm full of plates. She took her nephew in her arms and crooned, “You’re cuter ‘n a bugs butt, little fella . . . “
ut’r.}

“
Maye, you’re gonna wool that baby to death,” Denise said with a smile.

“
Mama, what does that mean?” Louetta asked.

“
She thinks I’m gonna give him too much lovin’, Buttabean. Would you like to hold him?”

“
Can I?” Louetta asked, with her hands folded like she was praying.

“
Sit on down here first, Bean.” Once Louetta was situated, her mother put the baby in her lap.

Maye
disappeared and came back with a coconut cake. She cut a big slice and put it in front of her brother. “My goodness, that’s a gracious plenty!” he said, eyeing the huge piece of cake.

Maye
finished serving cake to everyone before she sat back down at the table.

“
P.D., I don’t wanna bring up a sore subject, but . . . can I borrow the money, or cain’t I?” Maye asked, impatiently.

“
Aw, Maye. Why do you want ta put good money down on
somethin’ that oughtta be police business?”

“
Because I don’t trust Bug Preston any farther ‘n I can throw him. Him or his deputy. One of ‘em will lie, and the other’ll swear to it.”

“
P.D., she’s right. He’s so crooked, when he dies they’ll have to screw him into the ground,” Denise said.

“
You don’t know that, you’re just annoyed he hasn’t made an arrest. He’s good people, and he’s tryin’ his best. You listen to the old biddies too much, honey. He’s workin' on it. Just give him time.”

“
I’ll give him time. But there’s a lot of ways to skin a rabbit. I wanna hire this private detective,” Maye insisted. “Will ya loan me the money or not?”

“
If you’re sure that’s what you wonta do,” P.D. said, resignedly.

“
Now can I walk little Johnny?” Ima Jean asked again.

“
All right. But stay in front ‘a the house.”

“
Maye, don’t go gettin’ yer hopes up,” P.D. said seriously. “And don’t insult the alligator before you cross the stream . . . and not at all if you go home that way!”

“
What’s that supposed ta mean?” Maye said, irritably.

“
You know what it means.”

Maye
inclined her head.

“
Means don’t go rubbin’ Bug’s nose in the fact that yer hirin’ somebody to do his job.”

Maye
harrumphed and crossed her arms. “I say if he can't run with the big dogs, he oughtta stay under the porch.”

[ 
July
2010  ]

Martha Maye ran back to Tess’s front porch, screaming a blue streak through the night air.

Jack
and Tess ran to her, as Ezzie shot past them and raced into the yard.

“
Shut the door and call the law! There’s somethin’ or someone in those tall pine trees over yonder!” Martha Maye stood clutching her purse to her chest, clearly terrified.

Jack
ran past her. “I’ll check it out.”

“
Jack!” Tess tried to call him back.

“
Y’all go on back inside. And lock the doors,” he called as he ran toward the trees.

She
went to Martha Maye, taking her hand, and leading her into the house. “What was it? Was it a person? Could it have been an animal?”

Martha
Maye’s breathing was deep and heavy. “I saw a big black form, not five feet away—just standin’ there, real still like. It ran off soon as I got near to it, and . . . it was definitely not an animal, unless it was Squash Squash. He . . . or she . . . or it nearly scared the livin’ daylights outta me.”

“
It’s all right, Martha Maye. I don’t think there have been any
Sasquatch sightings around here. You’re safe. I’m sure whoever it was is long gone, or else heaven help him if Jack gets a hold of him.”

Martha
Maye gripped Tess’s arm. “We should call John Ed.”

“
And tell him what? That you think you saw something? He’ll laugh his head off.”

“
Agggghhhhh. The audacity of that man. Then I’m callin’ Henry Clay.” Martha Maye got her cell phone out.

“
What for? Jack’s here . . . “ Tess let her sentence drift off when she could see Martha Maye was intent on making her call.

Jack
was gone for nearly five minutes. Just as Tess was starting to panic, he came walking back to the house with Ezzie in his arms. Tess watched for them out the front window and met them at the door.

“
I think she had a bead on him. She ran until her little legs couldn’t go any more. She may be small, but she’s fast. I think she could make quick work of somebody’s ankles, maybe even jump up to get a mouthful of butt.” He set Ezzie down.

Tess
bent to pat her. “That’s my big brave Esmerelda, yes you
are . . . “

“
I’m gonna check around back, make sure nothing or no one is there. Be right back.” Jack disappeared around the side of the house. Tess took a panting Ezzie in for some water and a dog biscuit, closing and locking the door again.

“
Tessie, would you like to come ‘n stay with Mama and me? We’ve got room and we’d be glad to have ya.”

“
Thank you, Martha Maye, I appreciate that, but I’ll be fine.”

Both
women jumped when Ezzie let out a loud bark, followed by a knock at the front door.

“
Boy, she’s a good watch dog. She’s like Radar. She barks before something happens,” Tess said.

“
That’s prob’ly Henry Clay. I’ll get the door.” Martha Maye stopped and turned to Tess. “Is my hair all right?”

Tess
smiled. “It looks great.”

Jack
knocked on the back door, as Henry Clay came in the front.

“
Who wants cake and brownies?” Tess placed an overflowing plate on the table.

“
Now tell me again what happened.” Henry Clay grabbed a brownie off the top.

“
I don’t care what anybody says, I saw somethin’ or someone out in the pines,” Martha Maye told him. “And tell him about all the break-in episodes, Tess.”

After
filling Henry Clay in, he said, “I haven’t heard of anything like this ‘round these parts in all my born days.”

“
Henry Clay, you’ve lived here for a blue million years, but I’ve been gone so long, I’m outta the know. D’you know if Brick Lynch had ‘ny family? Any relatives that might still be livin’ ‘round here?”