Murder of a Barbie and Ken
Read Murder of a Barbie and Ken Online
Authors: Denise Swanson
Praise for Denise Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries
“Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries are marvelous.”
—Jerrilyn Farmer
“It’s no mystery why the first Scumble River novel was nominated for the prestigious Agatha Award. Denise Swanson knows small-town America, its secrets and its self-delusions, and she writes as if she might have been hiding behind a tree when some of the bodies were being buried. A delightful new series.”
—Margaret Maron
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
“Swanson’s Skye Denison, amateur sleuth, is an endearing and realistic character…. A fast-paced, enjoyable read.”
—
The Herald News
“This book is delightful…. The characters are human and generous and worth following through the series.”
—
Mysterious Women
“A well-written, nonviolent, enjoyable story which captures the essence of the small Midwestern town.”
—
Mystery News
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
“A smooth, pleasant, and ultimately satisfying book.”
—
Chicago Tribune
“Another cunning, lighthearted story from Swanson. The book keeps pace, reminding us all over again why we have come to know and love that sly, witty Skye—the paradigmatic sleuth.”
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The Sunday Journal
(Kankakee, IL)
“Another delightful and intriguing escapade…. When this book reaches your local bookseller, do yourself a favor and buy it.”
—
Mystery News
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
“Superbly written with emotion and everything a good mystery needs…. Shame on you if you miss anything by Denise Swanson.”
—
The Bookshelf
“Swanson’s writing is fresh and snappy…. Skye Denison [is] one of the most likable protagonists in softer-boiled mystery fiction today.
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
is more fun than the Whirl-A-Gig at the County Fair and tastier than a corndog.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
“A delightful mystery that bounces along with gently wry humor and jaunty twists and turns.”
—Edgar Award—winning author Earlene Fowler
“A lighthearted, entertaining mystery.”
—
Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
“A charming, insightful debut mystery.”
—Carolyn Hart
“The start of a bright new series. Swanson captures the essence of small-town life in Scumble River, and Skye is a likable heroine.”
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Romantic Times
“A likable new heroine reminiscent of some of our favorite childhood detectives—with a little bit of an edge…. A fresh, delightful and enjoyable first mystery.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
“Skye is smart, fiesty, quick to action and altogether lovable.”
—I Love a Mystery
“A charming debut novel that rings with humor, buzzes with suspense, and engages with each page turned … an impressive first novel worthy of praise.”
—
The Daily Journal
(Kankakee, IL)
“With a light touch, [Swanson]’s crafted a likable heroine in a wackily realistic small-town community with wonderful series potential. I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot more of Denise Swanson and Scumble River.”
—The Mystery Morgue
Other Scumble River Mysteries
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
Murder of a Barbie and Ken
___________________________
A Scumble River Mystery
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D
ENISE
S
WANSON
SIGNET
Published by New American Library, a division of
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,
New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto,
Ontario M4V 3B2, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
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Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.)
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Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:
80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published by Signet, an imprint of New American Library,
a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Printing, November 2003
10 9 8 7 6
Copyright © Denise Swanson Stybr, 2003
All rights reserved
ISBN: 9781101567517
REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA
Printed in the United States of America
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
PUBLISHER’S NOTE
This is a work of fiction, Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment’ for this “stripped book.”
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
To Center Cass District 66, particularly the staff of Lakeview Junior High and especially Sue Guinand, Sue Hagansee, Madeleine Maguire, Barb Albrecht, Karin Snodgrass, Julie Peterson, Valerie McCaffrey, Carole Adams, Barb Ulie, Becky Foellmer, Jan Heckman, Marilyn DeYoung, Mary Ann Grembler, Nona Jones, Erika Sullivan, William Ward, and fellow school psychologist Heidi Santucci, who have supported me by buying books, coming to signings, and letting me know they’re proud of me.
Scumble River is not a real town. The characters and events portrayed in these pages are entirely fictional, and any resemblance to living persons is pure coincidence.
Acknowledgments
My sincere thanks to:
Ellen Edwards and Laura Blake Peterson for their continued support of my writing career.
The booksellers who have hand-sold my books, the librarians who have ordered them for their collections, and the readers who have read them.
Cindi Baker for putting me in touch with Robin Partin, and to Robin for filling me in on the details of Drug Court in Illinois. Any mistakes I’ve made about the procedure are my own fault.
Linda Rutledge for liking my books well enough to want her friend to be a character in this one.
And hugs and kisses to the Deadly Divas for their help, especially Susan McBride.
Special thanks to my personal assistant and Der Webmeister, Dave Stybr, for supporting me in countless ways and for composing the
Scumble River Legend.
How many mystery series have their own signature music?
CHAPTER 1
“
Will you walk into my parlour?” said a Spider to a Fly
…
—Mary Howitt
S
kye Denison’s eyes popped open as a scream ripped through the elegant living room. She had been half dozing, hidden behind a huge schefflera, when what sounded like a screech owl brought her to full alertness. She peeked through the plant’s dense foliage, and was disappointed to see that the shouting was just a result of her hostess, Barbie Addison, awarding the next door prize.
The object of all the fuss appeared to be a circular piece of rubber about the size of a small saucer. Skye scratched her head; surely Barbie wasn’t giving away diaphragms.
The mystery was solved when a loud voice exclaimed, “Oh, Hilary, you’ll love it. This is the best jar opener I’ve ever found. Of course, as Barbie’s been demonstrating, all of the Instant Gourmet’s products are wonderful.”
Skye snorted, and eased back behind the plant. This contrived testimonial had been imparted by Barbie’s best friend, Lu Ginardi, another Instant Gourmet dealer.
Skye had hoped that the shriek was a result of something a little more serious, something like a fire alarm, something that would cause the house to be evacuated, and the guests to be told to go home. A product-demonstration party was the last place she wanted to be on a snowy Monday night, or any night for that matter.
She looked at her watch. Seven-thirty. Judging from past experience, it would be at least another ninety minutes or more before she could make her excuses and escape to her quiet cottage. She just hoped she could remain out of sight until that time.
No such luck. Barbie was heading in her direction. Skye frantically searched for an escape route. Damn. Barbie was in front of her, and the living room wall was at her back. She was trapped.
“Skye, what are you doing hiding over in the corner?” Barbie demanded, her hands on her hips. She was one of those flawless women who always looked like she had just stepped out of the beauty shop or off the pages of a magazine. Her champagne-blond tresses had never experienced a bad hair day, her makeup never smudged, and her burgundy cashmere turtleneck and matching wool pants encased a perfect figure that never gained a pound.
Skye shrugged. “Just taking a little breather.” She mentally shook her head, and wondered, for perhaps the twentieth time since meeting Barbie and Ken Addison, how a mature woman could stand to go by the name Barbie, especially when she was married to a man named Ken. It was just too cute.
“I’ll bet you’re feeling a little shy.” Barbie perched on the arm of Skye’s chair. “You haven’t been a Bette for very long, have you?” She answered her own question. “No. Of course not. Simon only joined the GUMBs in August, and it took him a while to persuade you to become a Bette.”