72
Zeus summoned me to his office. The president was all smiles that morning, sitting at his desk in a snazzy ivory suit. Hera stood beside him in a matching gown, her hand resting on his shoulder. The way she was glaring at me you’d think I was the killer.
“Good morning, Mr. Jones,” Zeus said.
“Sir. Ma’am.” I came to stand in front of his desk.
“How are you today?”
“I can’t complain.”
“Would you like something to drink?”
“No thanks.”
Zeus nodded. “I read your report. Impressive stuff. I especially liked the part where you and Ares took on Lamia. Very thrilling.”
“How is Ares, by the way?” I asked.
“Already back on his feet.”
“No thanks to you,” Hera added.
Zeus patted her on the hand. “Now, my love, we should be grateful. Mr. Jones has done Olympus a great service.”
“Well I suppose he did put down that monster,” Hera sneered.
I held my tongue to keep from saying something stupid. Lamia may have been the killer, but she wasn’t the only monster in New Olympia. There were two others, and they were right in front of me.
“Now that the case is closed, will you leave my ex-wife alone?” I asked.
“Certainly,” Zeus said. “As you mortals say, a deal is a deal.”
“Thanks. And what about Chrysus?”
“The stoning will wear off, and she’ll come back to work. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Maybe,” I said. “During the investigation, did your agents encounter a mortal named Collin Stone?”
Zeus checked his computer. “It seems they did. He was arrested last Thursday for tampering with evidence at the site of Enyo’s murder. And impeding an OBI investigation. He’s currently being detained at OBI headquarters.”
“I need you to pardon him.”
“For what reason?”
“For Enyo,” I said. “He meant a lot to her. She wouldn’t want to see him rot in prison for the rest of his life.”
Zeus stared at the computer screen, his blue eyes thoughtful.
“Surely you don’t mean to grant such a ludicrous request.” Hera’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “This Collin person knows that Gods can die. And he’s already made it clear he doesn’t care for us or our laws. Disposing of a Goddess’s body! What if he decides to share that information with other mortals? We would have a full-blown rebellion to deal with.” She waved a dismissive hand. “I say we execute him and be done with the whole matter.”
“Collin won’t say anything,” I said.
“And how can you be so sure,
mortal
?” Hera raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.
“Because he promised me.”
She laughed, but somehow managed to do it while scowling. “I find that to be less than reassuring.”
“If he tells anyone, I’ll take the blame.”
“An enticing offer, but I’m afraid it’s not good enough.”
“It’s good enough for me,” Zeus cut in. “Collin Stone will be released and granted a full pardon.”
Hera made a strangled sound. “You can’t be serious!”
“I am.”
Hera started, “But—”
“The decision has been made,” Zeus said.
She stared at him with her mouth hanging open, at a loss for words.
“Thanks again,” I said.
“No, Mr. Jones, thank
you
.”
I smiled and turned to leave.
“One more thing before you go,” Zeus said.
“Sir?”
He took a check out of his suit pocket and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“A little bonus.”
I glanced at the check. My eyes widened at the sight off all those zeros. I folded it and slipped it into my wallet. I checked the wallet twice to make sure the check was still there before putting it in my pocket.
“I would also like to offer you your old job back,” Zeus continued, “with a substantial pay increase.”
“Not interested.”
“Are you sure?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I said.
Zeus nodded. “If you change your mind, the offer is still on the table.”
“Goodbye, Mr. President. First Lady.”
Hera scowled.
Zeus stood from his seat and shook my hand. “Farewell, Mr. Jones. I’m certain our paths will cross again one day.”
Not if I can help it
.
Chrysus—the real Chrysus—was waiting for me outside Zeus’s office. A red blouse peeked out from under her stylish black skirt suit. Her blond hair was down, and she’d added bangs. The glasses were missing. I thought she looked better with them on. Not to say she wasn’t still drop-dead gorgeous.
“Hello, Mr. Jones.”
“Hi.”
We shook hands.
“I want to thank you for helping me,” Chrysus said.
“Just doing my job.”
“Will you be returning to work with us?”
“Afraid not,” I said.
“That’s unfortunate. I was looking forward to our getting better acquainted.”
“Sorry.”
Chrysus smiled politely. Looking at her reminded me of the time Lamia and I had spent together. For a while, I really liked her. In a way, I still liked her. I wonder what that said about me.
“I’d like to repay you for giving me my life back,” Chrysus said. “Can I take you out to dinner this weekend?”
“How about lunch instead?” I asked.
“Lunch sounds good. Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”
“Anywhere but Diamond Earl’s.”
73
A large bouquet of red roses waited for me at the front desk of my apartment complex. The note on the vase was handwritten in elegant letters with black ink.
Plato,
Here’s a small token of my gratitude. When next we meet, I’ll give you a more suitable reward.
Hope to see you soon,
Aphrodite
The implication in the note made me a bit nervous, but I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
I picked up the bouquet and carried it upstairs to my apartment. I set it on the kitchen table, then headed to my bedroom to change into something more comfortable. I flipped on the lights and almost cursed.
“Okay, you’ve officially pissed me off.”
The cat had returned. And he was lounging on my bed.
“You think you’re pretty clever, don’t you?”
It ignored me and licked its foreleg.
“You little swine!” I dove at the cat.
It sprang over me and bolted into the living room. I gave chase.
The cat ran under the coffee table and leapt onto the windowsill.
Oh no you don’t
, I thought,
not this time
. I hurdled over the couch and grabbed the intruder as it tried to scramble through the partially opened window. I laughed in triumph, raising the cat overhead like a trophy.
“I got you! I’ve finally got you!”
Surprisingly, the fiend made no attempt to escape. I wish it had. Seeing it struggle in vain would have made my victory that much more rewarding.
I lowered the cat so our faces were level. “Now who’s the smart one?”
The cat meowed. It was a kitten’s meow, small and charming.
“Nice try, pal, but you’re not going to sweet-talk your way out of this.” I looked at the tag on the cat’s collar. Its name, Mr. Fancy Pants, was engraved in the aluminum. Below that were the owners’ names and address. John and Christina Davies lived in the same apartment complex I did, on the floor above me.
I put the cat under my arm and went to pay Mr. and Mrs. Davies a visit. It was time they took responsibility for Mr. Fancy Pants here.
I went upstairs, knocked on their door, and waited. No one answered. I knocked again, harder. Nothing.
I pressed my ear against the door. No sounds came from inside the apartment.
“Are you looking for John and Christina?” a voice said.
I turned around to see a short, round woman with a white beehive. Her floral muumuu was a seizure-inducing shade of neon blue.
“Yes ma’am,” I said.
“Then you’re out of luck, I’m afraid. They moved out about two weeks ago.”
I wanted to curse. Instead I said, “Thank you.”
The woman smiled and went about her business.
Frustrated and disappointed, I returned to my apartment. I put Mr. Fancy Pants on the floor and sat on the couch. The cat jumped onto the loveseat and looked at me, its expression bland as usual.
“What am I going to do with you?” I said. “I’d feel guilty putting you out on the street. And a shelter is out of the question. A mangy beast like you would be euthanized on arrival.”
Mr. Fancy Pants blinked but didn’t respond.
“I suppose you want me to take you in.”
He yawned and stretched out on the loveseat.
“Fine. But you had better watch yourself. One ripped curtain, one scratched-up bedpost, and you’re out the window. Got it?”
Mr. Fancy Pants jumped from the loveseat to the couch. He crawled into my lap, curled into a ball, and went to sleep.
“I hate cats.”
74
The next morning I sat in my office, on the phone with Alexis.
“I must be hallucinating,” she said. “Did you say you might have a job for Calais’s nephew?”
“Sure did.”
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch.”
“Are you sure?” Alexis asked. “There’s usually a catch with you.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“Then why are you so eager to put him to work?”
“I could use an extra pair of hands around the office.”
Alexis was quiet for a moment. “I guess I believe you,” she said. “When should I have him come see you?”
“Tomorrow at one.”
“He’ll be there.”
“Great. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later then.”
“Oh, and Alexis. Congratulations on your engagement.”
There was another stretch of silence on the other end. Then Alexis said, “Thank you, Plato.”
“Take care of yourself, kiddo.”
“You too.” I ended the call and leaned back in my chair.
Emilie poked her head in the door. “Mr. Jones?”
“Yes?”
“Nicolas Parker called the office a few minutes ago,” she said. “I told him you were on a very important call.”
“What did he want?”
“He wanted to tell you that his missing gorgon has been found. Apparently, a good Samaritan turned it over to the police.”
I gave a thumbs-up. “Good for him.”
“Also, Mrs. Stone is here to see you.”
I quickly stood up and smoothed down the front of my shirt. “Send her in.”
Emilie left, and Bellanca came into my office carrying a large fruit basket.
“Hello,” she said.
“Hi.” I stepped around my desk and took the basket from her. “What’s this?”
“A gift.”
“Thanks, but for what?”
“For helping Collin.”
I put the basket on my desk and gestured for her to sit. Her strapless purple dress ended slightly above mid-thigh. Her curly black hair rested on her shoulders.
“He called last night,” Bellanca told me. “He said you helped him out of a bind.”
A chill crawled up my spine. Had Collin told her the truth about the Gods?
“Did he say anything else?” I was almost too scared to ask.
“Only that he’s sorry for what he put me through, and that I deserve a better man than him.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “He’s right.”
Bellanca smiled. “Thank you.”
I sensed a nervous energy about her. Her movements, the tone of her voice, all seemed tinged with indecision. I suspected I was giving off a similar vibe. My brief relationship with Lamia was now officially finished, and Alexis and I were long since over. It was probably time to move on. I wondered if Bellanca could feel my energy just as I could feel hers.
“How have you been holding up?” I asked.
“Fine, all things considered.”
“You’re still going through with the divorce?”
Bellanca ran her fingers through her hair. “I feel like I need to.”
“Always go with your instincts.”
“It feels strange though, being alone after all these years.”
“Consider it a chance to reclaim missed opportunities,” I said.
“I just might.”
My cell phone rang. I picked it up and checked the caller ID. It was Alexis again.
Bellanca stood up and adjusted the bottom of her dress.
“I should probably be going,” she said. “Thanks, Plato, for everything.”
“My pleasure.”
The phone continued to ring after she left. I stared at it, debating whether or not to answer. Then I looked at the fruit basket and smiled.
“Sorry, Alexis.” I put down the still-ringing phone and ran outside.
The nearest parking lot was across the street. Bellanca was at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. I tapped her on the shoulder. She turned toward me.
“Hi, again,” I said.
“Hello,” she said. Her eyes widened expectantly.
“This may seem a little forward, but would you like to have dinner with me?”
Bellanca shrank away from me. Rarely a good sign.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to,” I said, before she could answer.
“No, I’d love to. It’s just that . . . Aren’t you dating Aphrodite?”
Damn. I had forgotten about that little scandal. There was no time for damage control. I was going to have to wing it and hope for the best.
“She and I went out a couple times, but we were never dating,” I said.
“Does she know that?”
“Of course.”
“The tabloids say you two are madly in love.”
“They also say that Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have a secret love child.”
Bellanca grinned.
“I know I’m not looking too hot right now,” I confessed, glancing down at my wrinkled blazer and slacks, “but I refuse to pass up a good thing when I see it.”
“And you think I’m a good thing?”
“Absolutely.”
Bellanca crossed her arms and looked me in the eye, her head tilted to the side.
“One date,” she said after a few seconds. “We’ll see where things go from there.”
75
It was Friday evening. The Night Owl was barren, but that would change in about an hour or two, when the first influx of regulars trickled in.
Herc and I were seated at a table with a bottle of scotch and two lowball glasses. The jazz band was setting up their equipment onstage, while behind the bar, Abas took stemware out of the dishwasher and placed it in a hanging glass rack.
I sipped some scotch and shook my head, smiling. “Man, that’s good.”
“If you say so,” Herc said.
“You don’t like it?”
“Tastes like deer piss.”
“How do you know what deer piss tastes like?”
“I don’t.” Herc held his glass of scotch up to the light, frowning at it. “But if I ever tried it, I imagine this is what it would taste like.”
I laughed.
“Well, you did it, Jonesy,” Herc said. “You saved the day.”
“Yeah, I guess I did. But I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Herc raised his brows. “Really?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Asshole.”
We both laughed.
“So what’s next?” Herc asked.
“Disneyland, I suppose.”
“Think you’ll take any more government contracts?”
“Only if the Gods hold a gun to my head.”
Herc grinned wryly. “What are the chances of that ever happening?”
I wouldn’t put it past them.
We raised our glasses and had a toast. To what, I wasn’t entirely sure.