Music and Lies (George and Finn Book 1) (14 page)

Then, when I’d finished my mug I spoilt the mood totally by asking, ‘Who were those men you were talking to at the gate?’

I could see his slim face clearly, the faint growth of stubble, the high cheekbones and strange pale eyes. His expression went from relaxed to guarded in an instant.

‘No one special. Just some people hassling to get in without tickets.’

I hadn’t actually been that interested before, but I was now. ‘They didn’t look like your usual festival-goer. Kind of older and more – serious.’

There was something out of place about them I couldn’t put my finger on. Maybe their neat short hair, or their tidy clothes and clean shoes.

Finn picked up the two mugs and put them carefully inside the dirty pan, for washing later. ‘Shall we go back?’

‘Why will you never tell me anything?’ Suddenly I’d had enough of it all. ‘Why the secrets? Why can’t you just tell the truth for once? You were arguing with them. There must have been some reason.’

He put the pan down with a bang that rattled the mugs. ‘You want to know who they were? Okay. They were the police. Plain-clothed, from, hmm, Crime Management Services I think they call it these days. So what do you think of that?’

I must have half-suspected this, because his words didn’t surprise me. I nodded and said, ‘So what did they want? Surely if they were police you should have let them in.’

‘They didn’t want to come in.’

‘Was it about the missing painting?’

‘No.’

‘Oh. I suppose it was drugs, then.’

‘Not really.’ He pushed himself up the length of the tent, so he was sitting as far from me as possible, pressed up against an old leather guitar case. He had his hands clasped tightly together. ‘They were giving me some advice. The tall guy suggested maybe this wasn’t the best place for me.’

His face was in shadow now and I squinted across at him, trying to make sense of his words. All I could see were thin pale fingers twisting around each other.

‘Go on, then,’ he said nastily. ‘Aren’t you going to ask why he thought I should leave? Don’t you want to know why he was worried about me?’

‘Only if you want to tell me,’ I said. Actually, I don’t think I did want to know anymore. I felt scared. I’d never seen him upset like this.

‘You know my mother’s dead?’

I nodded, my heart beating loudly. So this was it, he was going to talk about it. I suddenly wished he wouldn’t.

‘She died at a festival just like this one.’ He spoke slowly, his voice totally flat now. ‘She died of a drug overdose. She went to the festival even though I begged and begged her not to. I even shopped her to the police, because I thought they’d arrest her and that would stop her, but the idiots let her out on bail.’

I remembered what Cami had said about him shopping his own mother. So it had been true in a way. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of something helpful to say, and failing.

Finn ran a hand through his hair. ‘Anyway, she insisted on going, so I went with her. I thought maybe if I was there … But I couldn’t watch her all the time and she had a bad batch, or overdid it, because, you know, she’d been clean for a bit. Or … God knows. Anyway, she died. Went to sleep in her tent and … They took her to hospital and everything, but it was too late. That policeman I was talking to was part of the drug squad, the ones we had to deal with afterwards. He wasn’t a bad guy. Amazing, really, for a policeman. The social workers were the pits, but he was okay.’

He finished his story in a calm, low voice, and there was silence.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I said uselessly. I wanted to cry. I was afraid Finn was going to start crying.

‘So now you know why I hate all this drug stuff.’ He’d stopped twisting his hands together and dropped them into his lap. He sounded exhausted.

I crawled up the tent and knelt beside him. After a moment’s hesitation, I put my arms around him. I held him tight. We sat like that for a long time. I didn’t have a clue what to say. I couldn’t even conceive of what it must be like to lose your mother. To have her die at a festival just like this.

So I just held him tight, solid and warm and very still, and tried not to think about it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

GEORGE

We didn’t go back and listen to any more music after that. Eventually Finn said he was going to turn in and I went back to my own empty tent. I cried a bit, for Finn, for his mother. For Becky. Was this why he was so paranoid about her? Did he think she was overdose material? I shivered, huddled in my sleeping bag, and wished I didn’t know any of this.

My parents weren’t exactly easy. Mum was such a fusser, and expected me to help with the babies
and
do max studying
and
have a social life, which was a bit much. But she was okay, really. She would never let me down, never do anything like take drugs and then die on me. And Dad, even if I didn’t see so much of him because he wasn’t that keen on kids, he still did his bit when he was around. He still looked out for me, like the way he was hassling about me not being home alone.

What must it be like to have parents who were so useless you had to look out for them? And then who weren’t there at all? If Marcus or his mother was Finn’s guardian, or whatever you called it, I didn’t see them being much support.

Poor Finn.

But I didn’t want him to be poor Finn. I wanted him to be the one who knew what was going on and could handle it, even if he wouldn’t tell me half the time. I didn’t want him to be fragile and have problems like other people.

I was such a selfish bitch.

And I wished he’d let me sleep in the tent with him. Just to hold him, to be close. I’d been willing to stay, but he’d sent me back here. He preferred being on his own to being with me. Which was great, just great.

And why was I thinking about things like that now, when I should be feeling so sorry for him? I was
such
a selfish bitch.

FINN

Fool. Idiot. Pathetic bastard. So you wanted someone to feel sorry for you? Well, she feels sorry for you. Isn’t that just marvellous?

I punched my pillow so hard it hurt, so I punched it again. Harder.

And yet. And yet. As I lay there in the dark, not listening to the heavy bass beat, or the too-loud voices, I couldn’t help feeling … a little bit better. Not good. Not as though everything was fine, because it wasn’t. But like it wasn’t as bad as it had been.

George was just so honest. I’d seen how horrified she’d been, how upset, how genuinely sorry. But she hadn’t withdrawn. She put her arms round me, and I had to admit, that felt pretty good. It was a while since anyone had done that. Neither of my aunts were the hugging kind, and who else was going to put their arms round me if they didn’t?

I thought she might even have stayed, if I’d asked her. We could have kissed. Shared my sleeping bag. Got close.

Except I didn’t do getting close, so I’d told her to go.

That didn’t stop me wishing I hadn’t, though.

GEORGE

It was only when I woke up the following morning I realised I’d completely forgotten to send my evening texts the day before. Shit. I dressed hurriedly and went to see how Finn was, but he had already disappeared. This was fairly normal, but I couldn’t help worrying. He didn’t usually talk about his mum, I realised that, and I had made him. What if he was really upset?

I looked around for him, but couldn’t see any sign.

Well, if he wasn’t here, it at least gave me the opportunity to go and get that backstage pass from Dex. Then I would send those texts, and then I would find Finn.

I washed and put on some foundation and eyeliner, then set off for the campervan section, going round the back of the site to try and avoid being seen. I was particularly keen to avoid Finn or Marcus just now.

It was just my luck I should bump into Marcus as soon as I started walking along the metal flooring they used to stop the paths here getting so muddy.

‘Hiya, how you doing?’ he said. Wow, friendly! Just when I didn’t want it. ‘Heard anything from Beck?’

‘No. I tried yesterday but her phone’s switched off.’ I hesitated. ‘Thanks for taking her to – that place.’

‘No problem.’ He looked at me for a moment, very grim. He had straight dark hair, like Cami. I knew he was considered good-looking, but I wasn’t into all that glowering. He just made me uneasy. ‘Let me know if you need anything.’

Then he turned and strolled off.

I waited until he was out of sight before I went to knock on the door of Dex’s van. Marcus couldn’t have realised where I was going or I was pretty sure he’d have said something. He had his reasons for disliking Dex because of Becky, and Finn did too because of his mum. But for once Dex was being nice, getting me the pass, although there was no point trying to explain that to them.

There was no response so I knocked on the door again. Still nothing. Great. I’d got myself all psyched up, and now I was going to have to come back later. And someone was sure to see me then. Feeling peeved, I made my way back to my tent and tried to think of something I could have for breakfast.

I discovered Becky had left behind her muesli – result! – so I used the last of the milk on that and a big mug of tea. Then, after another unsuccessful search for Finn, I made a second trip to Dex’s van. The sooner I got this sorted the better.

I went around the back of the site again, this time climbing part of the way up the banking so I could spy out Marcus or anyone else who might be hanging around to give me an unwelcome surprise. I saw Cami on the far side of the festival ground but I couldn’t see any sign of Dex so maybe he was back in his van.

And then, just as I began to descend, I saw the door of the van open. It wasn’t Dex who came out but a short, stocky man I had never seen before. He looked quickly to left and right and then headed up the banking himself, veering away from me and disappearing into the trees.

Without even thinking, I turned to follow.

Nobody acting that suspiciously could be doing something legit. I don’t know what I thought I might find but I wanted to do
something
. If Dex was dealing in drugs, and was the one who had got Becky into them, then I suppose what I wanted to do was get him into trouble.

I’d find out where this guy was going and then I’d … well, I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but I’d think of something.

I must have learnt from Finn as I managed to move pretty quietly. The man never even turned to look behind him. I could easily follow his pale top through the trees. I was thankful for once I was wearing something dark – the fleece I had borrowed from Finn last night, as it happened. I pulled up the hood to hide my annoying hair.

After a while the man reached one of the forest tracks, and he turned left along this. I kept on following him, but I was beginning to lose heart. He could easily have a car parked up here and I would never be able to follow that.

But no vehicle appeared. Instead, I realised the track was bending continuously to the left, taking us in a wide loop around the valley, so eventually we were on totally the opposite side. We were up above the river here, somewhere in the vicinity of the path I had followed that first night, the one we had seen Dex go up when he collected that bulky parcel.

I began to feel I was on to something. I was sweating and probably pink in the face, but I was excited, too. There must be a reason why the man was coming round here. Maybe this was where everything was hidden? Certainly no drugs had been found in Dex’s van during the police raid and they had to be kept somewhere …

And then the man disappeared. Just like that. One minute he was about thirty or forty metres ahead of me on the track, and then he was gone. He’d turned as though to go uphill, but I couldn’t see more from that distance and when I got nearer, trying to stay out of sight on the lower side of the track, there was nothing. No flash of light jacket, no rustle of heavy footsteps. Nothing.

I withdrew into the trees and sank down onto the short, needle-strewn grass. I was knackered, and I didn’t know what to do next.

I stayed hidden and waited and waited. Maybe he would eventually reappear?

After twenty minutes I had to give up. I was due to start my shift on one of the gates at two and I couldn’t be late for that. I tried to keep quiet until I was away from the spot where I had last seen him, then I found the path that led to the little wooden bridge and began to jog down it.

I was furious and disappointed. I had been
sure
I was about to find out something really important. And now all I had got was hot and sweaty and with the chance of getting into trouble for being late. And I still hadn’t got the pass from Dex. I just hoped nobody asked what I’d been doing. I didn’t want to have to explain myself to Finn. Or Dex. Or even Marcus, if it came to that.

Fortunately the only person who noticed anything untoward was Cami, who was working the same gate as me. He just looked at my pink face and said, ‘Been up the hill texting mummy and daddy, have you? Glad I haven’t got anyone checking up on me.’

Oh no! I had forgotten all about texting, I’d been so intent on following the man. Which meant Mum hadn’t heard from me since yesterday morning. Dad probably wouldn’t be that bothered, he seemed to be slipping back into his normal easy-going ways, but Mum would be getting apoplectic. I’d have to find a way of sneaking off to do that as soon as I possibly could.

And there was still no sign of Finn. I asked Cami if he’d seen him, but he just sniggered and said, ‘You two fallen out? Not surprised. No one can put up with my perfect cousin for long.’

So helpful.