Music of the Heart (37 page)

For the next month, I spent my recovery at Jake’s farm. Although I was wrecked physically, I don’t

know when I’d been happier emotionally. Sure, I didn’t necessarily want to almost be beaten to death

by a psychotic, jealous ex-lover of Jake’s, but in the same token, it meant I had time to spend with him

and with his mom. The first week my parents stayed in the guest bedroom while I stayed next door in

Jake’s bedroom. Although the barn boasted a finished loft that was as nicer than any apartment, Jake

refused to sleep far from me, so he either slept in the chair beside my bed or on the couch in the living

room. I’d offered to let him sleep with me, but he was too afraid of accidentally hitting or kicking my

wounds during the night.

That first week I was smothered to death by Jake, my parents, and Susan. Even Rhys, Brayden,

Lily, and AJ hovered over me. Don’t get me wrong. It was nice milking my injuries for my favorite

home-cooked meals of my mother’s or little gifts from the guys. But after a while, it got really old

being spoiled. I couldn’t even sneeze without everyone freaking out and rushing to my bedside. It was

sweet, but it was also incredibly annoying.

Once I was literally back on my feet again, my parents reluctantly left to go back to Texas. They’d

spent ten days away from their jobs to make sure I was on the road to recovery. They still weren’t

happy with me recuperating at Jake’s, but they had resigned themselves to the fact that I was an adult

and made my own decisions. We had a teary goodbye where I promised to come home at the end of

the month.

Some days Jake would reluctantly leave me with Susan, so he could go to Atlanta with the guys to

work on the new album. I had to admit that I enjoyed the time with her. She was truly an amazing

woman of strength and courage. Physically, she had her good days and bad days, but emotionally she

was upbeat each and every day. She was also really funny. When I felt up to riding in a car again, she

took me to her dance studio and showed me around. Jake’s family came in droves to meet me and to

bring home-cooked meals to Susan and to Jake. I’d never felt so much love outside of my own

immediate family.

One afternoon after Jake got in from the recording studio in Atlanta, he found Susan and me on the

front porch each reading a book. With a beaming smile on his face, he beckoned me with his hand. “I

have a surprise for you.”

Wrinkling my nose, I replied, “You know I hate surprises.”

“You’ll like this one. It’s a special gift from my grandfather.” It didn’t escape me that a knowing

look passed between Susan and Jake.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself out of the chair and walked down the length of the porch to meet Jake.

He took my hand in his and led me across the yard to his barn. When he opened the door, a fluffy ball

of a Golden Retriever puppy came galloping over to me.

My eyes widened in shock. “You got me a dog?”

“It’s a gift from my Papa. She’s the pick of his new litter.”

I squealed with delight as I went to pick up the puppy. “She’s beautiful,” I murmured as I rubbed

my face into the soft fur.

“Does that mean you like my surprise?”

I grinned. “Oh I
love
this one.”

Jake tipped back his baseball cap off his forehead and eyed me. “So what are you going to name

her?”

“Hmm, good question.” I stared into the puppy’s warm brown eyes. “What should I name you,

sweetheart?” As she opened her mouth and yawned, it hit me. “Angel. She can be my angel.”

“But you’re
my
Angel,” Jake protested.

“I think there’s room for two Angels around here.”

“Whatever. She’s your dog.”

I couldn’t help my brow creasing in worry. “But what happens when I have to leave or go back on

the road?”

Jake shrugged. “She’ll just stay here with all our other dogs until you get back.”

My heartbeat hammered so loud I feared Jake would hear it. I didn’t know if he realized that by

saying my dog would always have a home at his house, he had just alluded to a massive level of

commitment between us. “Are you sure that wouldn’t be an imposition?” I finally asked.

“Of course not. I mean, we have all these fenced in acres for her to run around and frolic in.”

I giggled. “Did you just say frolic?”

“Yeah, I did, smartass,” he replied with a smirk.

Setting Angel gently down on the floor, I then put my arms around Jake’s neck. “Thank you so much

for the sweet and thoughtful gift. You made my day.”

He grinned. “You’re welcome.”

I leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss. Since the night I had been beaten by Bree, Jake had been

gun-shy about kissing or touching me. More than anything in the world, I wanted his mouth and hands

on me again like the night in the hotel room. I slid my tongue against his lips, urging him to open to

me. When he did, I thrust my tongue against his. Surprisingly, Jake ran his hand down my back and

cupped one of my butt cheeks, jerking me against him.

As our tongues danced around each other, I brazenly rubbed myself against the bulge growing in

his jeans. I hiked one of my legs up and wrapped it around his hip, giving him part of his former wish

to have my cowboy boots digging into his ass. Since I wanted to give him and myself the full

experience, I melted against Jake, silently begging with my body language for him to raise me up.

Fortunately, he appeased me by cupping my other butt cheek and hoisting me up to wrap my other leg

around his waist. I arched my center against his crotch, causing him to groan into my mouth. “Angel,”

he murmured as he kissed a scorching trail down my neck.

When his hand moved up my ribcage to cup my breast, I cried out. Thinking it was from pain, not

pleasure, Jake froze. My vocal reaction had the same effect as pouring a bucket of ice cold water

over Jake. “Oh fuck,” he muttered before gripping my hips and unwrapping my legs from around his

waist. Once he sat my feet back on the ground, he ran a shaky hand through his hair.

“Jake, please don’t stop!” I protested.

He shook his head. “You’re not fully healed. I hurt you.”

“No, you didn’t. I cried out because I liked what I was feeling.”

He stared at me for a minute. “It doesn’t matter. We shouldn’t be making out anyway.”

Cupping his cheek, I argued, “But I want to make out with you. You’re my boyfriend, and I love

you.”

Staring down at Angel playing at our feet, Jake refused to meet my gaze. “No, we don’t. Not now

and not any time soon,” he muttered before stalking out of the barn. Angel started after him, but then

she came back to me. I pulled her into my arms and let the tears rolling down my cheeks dampen her

fur.

I didn’t see Jake the rest of the afternoon until Susan called us to dinner at seven. To say that you

could have cut the tension in the air with a knife would be a mild understatement. Susan chattered

along, and I tried keeping up with her while Jake sat in a broody silence, shoveling in his food. Our

plates were half-eaten when he sprang out of his chair. When Susan and I stared up at him with our

mouths open in surprise, he muttered, “I’m going to the barn to work out.”

Angel followed him out of the dining room, but her whines echoed throughout the foyer when he

slammed the front door. With an anguished sigh, I dropped my fork onto my plate, causing a noisy

clatter. “Sorry.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize to me. Instead, you

should be marching yourself right on out to the barn to sort things out with Jacob.”

My eyes widened at her suggestion. “Y-You know things are strained between us?”

“Oh honey, I know I’m dying, but seriously, I would have to be blind not to notice that.” Easing

back in her chair, she eyed me for a moment. “He’s afraid to touch you, isn’t he?”

I gave a brief nod. “Since my accident, he acts like I’m some fragile piece of glass that will break

at any minute. I know he loves me—he shows it in every way possible.”

“He’s conflicted about the guilt he feels for what happened to you. In his mind, Jacob thinks that by

keeping you at arm’s length he’s somehow atoning for what he feels are his sins for your accident.”

“That’s so wrong!” I protested.

“I agree.”

“So what should I do?”

A mischievous gleam burned in Susan’s blue eyes. “You’re going to have to figure that one out on

your own, honey. But I think your best strategy to clear the air and end all the tension is to force Jake

to touch you again.”

I gasped as warmth flooded across my cheeks and down my neck. “Are you suggesting what I think

you’re suggesting?”

Susan held up her hands. “I just said that you needed to go out to the barn and fight for your man.”

She rose out of her chair. “If anyone needs me, I’m going to take a bath and turn in early tonight.”

With a wink, she walked out of the dining room.

Chewing on my nails, I let Susan’s words sink in. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t know if

I had the courage to do it. After all, the cards seemed stacked against me for anything about my plan to

work out right. I was twenty-one years old, in love with a womanizing rock star who was going

through emotional hell because of his mother’s illness and the fact a psychotic ex-girlfriend had

beaten me, and my idea of making things better between us was to give him my virginity. Surely that

made me crazy.

But when it all came down to it, it wasn’t just the desire pumping through me whenever I looked at

Jake or when we were close to each other. No, I was crazy in love with him. I’d been in love with

him before my accident, and after the last month with him, I was even more in love with him than ever

before.

So it was now or never. I loved Jake, and I wanted to be with him. Who knew what the future held

for us? But deep down, I would always regret it if the first man I loved wasn’t the first I slept with.

“Alrighty then,” I muttered before rising out of my chair. I stalked down the hallway and locked

myself into the bedroom. My mind was now made up. Susan had planted a tiny seed, and I was going

to act on it by going to Jake in the barn and seducing him.

I knew the first thing I needed to do was arm myself with the necessary tools. I had to look like sex

to him. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true since the last time we had almost had sex I was wearing

an old t-shirt and yoga pants, not to mention the fact we’d gotten pretty frisky this afternoon when I

was wearing jeans and a sweater. Regardless of what had happened before, Jake needed to know just

by looking at me tonight what I wanted.

I snapped my fingers and made my way over to the closet. Digging in my suitcase, I pulled out the

white baby doll nightie I’d bought when I got the white dress for Jake. I slid on the glittery thong

before shimmying into the nightie. Gazing at myself in the mirror, I turned left and right, appraising my

reflection. I guess I looked sexy. The pearl and sequined encrusted bodice barely held in my

cleavage, and it felt like at any minute my boobs might pop out of the front, which was probably a

win-win situation considering how much Jake professed to like my boobs.

Pulling my hair out of my ponytail, I then brushed it until it to where it cascaded over my shoulders